| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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He told my ex he likes me...
Q. theres a new kid in my school and i really like him, my ex was talking to him and said he liked me, what should i do?...
A. 1 January 2010: Well now run a mile, because he's not worth it. Sounds like he might be playing you instead. ... (read in full...)
My gut's telling me something's wrong, is he cheating on me?
Q. So I was at my boyfriends [c] last night for New Years, and he had 1 friend over [d]. To me C was acting kind of funny, he was more .... affectionate, he seemed to want more love. D has always cheated on his girlfriends, I'm afraid thats a bad ...
A. 1 January 2010: You're trusting instinct when you need proof. So you need to find some really. However, if he has cheated before, there is more of a chance he is cheating now. ... (read in full...)
Will he ever get over his past hurt?
Q. I hope someone can help me. I have met an amazing guy over the last few months. Everything has been going great. We had a temporary split for a couple of weeks as he had confidence issues and said he needed to sort himself out. We got back togethe...
A. 1 January 2010: This guy has too many unresolved issues to make him worth your time I'm afraid, no matter how much you love him. You could be waiting for hundreds of years and he still won't change. He clearly isn't over his ex, and until he is, he isn't worth your ... (read in full...)
Blast from the past..let it go?
Q. i met this guy about 5yrs ago he had seperated from his wife, we began as friends and over the course of a year became more than friends, 18 months ago without any explantion he stopped talking to me returning my calls text ect then on xmas eve i ...
A. 1 January 2010: Move on from him. Unless he's contacting you or getting back to your texts and calls, he's just not worth the bother. ... (read in full...)
Sister doesn't realise hes bad, what can I do?
Q. hello, i am 15 years old and my sister is 17. she has started seeing this guy from her work who is 26, the age gap doesnt bother me but what does is the fact that hes just not good and i know it. not only does he have 2 kids from 2 separate previ...
A. 1 January 2010: You can't do a thing I'm afraid. Sometimes, people have to live by their mistakes. Just be a good sister and be there for when it goes wrong, because it will. He'll use her, then leave her. Or worse still he'll make her pregnant then leave her. We ... (read in full...)
Why should I be faithful when he'll just cheat again?
Q. i am in a relationship of 8 years and 2 kids with him and i recently found out that my fiance was cheating on me with a couple other females at his place of work. It really hurt me, but we decided to try to work it out. now i find myself resenting ...
A. 1 January 2010: He has cheated with a few women, and has done it several times. Why would you want to stay with him anyway when he clearly isn't committed. Then you decide you might want to cheat yourself because you think he will again. Either sort it out, work ... (read in full...)
He left me with no means of closure. Help!
Q. Well, here I enter 2010 with a broken heart after a three year relationship and a year and a half or marriage. My husband was suppose to join me and my family for Christmas. I left early due to my brand new born nephew and my love was suppose to ...
A. 1 January 2010: There's no chance he will come around I'm afraid. You married a man who simply wasn't up to standards, and he couldn't even tell you he wanted a divorce to your face. Frankly, that shows how pathetic he is. Get a lawyer and get all you can out of ... (read in full...)
Make the first move? Or let him?
Q. Hi cupids, I have a work related dilemma on my hands. My collegue and I have been friends for years we knew each other before I started working with him. The last year or so we have been spending some time going out visiting places we both h...
A. 1 January 2010: If you both like each other, and you're both single, why not talk to him and see where it leads. ... (read in full...)
Is It Possible For An Older Lady To Find genuine Love????
Q. Can An Older Woman Find Love? Most men prefer younger women thats a fact however I Who would love to find romance-its not a cse of being desperate I am divorced and not looking for marriage but a few dates would be nice Come on guys PLE...
A. 1 January 2010: I can reassure you, since I'm seeing an older woman. Yes, there are guys who prefer older women, or women their own age. You just have to be yourself, be confident and a guy will find you. ... (read in full...)
He said he'd make me have sex with him
Q. ok so me and my bf had been going good since 8-7-09 and i know alot of people will say well your not in love but we were. Then last night came and i got 15 text messages saying so very mean and uncomfortable things about me and him having sex. Well ...
A. 1 January 2010: Break up now, don't waste another moment with him. and make sure your parents see the text as well. He effectively said he you wouldn't have sex, he'd rape you. Don't even consider staying with him. ... (read in full...)
She forces me to wear condom and I always lose my erection
Q. okay picture this... me and my girl are messing around im getting turned on she is ready for me i am hard as rock and then i go for the condom. in thre time it takes me to get the condom, put it on and start tryinf to go in i lose my stiffness. I ...
A. 1 January 2010: I'm sure there are other guys out there who have the same problem. You just have to keep trying with those condoms. She's worried about pregnancy and such. And I bet you would prefer a condom to a baby coming along suddenly. ... (read in full...)
How do I go about a relation wit a gul who always find fault with most things I do
Q. I met this gul 2 months ago. A friend of mine introduced me 2 her and so we became friends, along the line, i started developing feelings for her, i tried as much as i can 2 beat off my feelings but the more i try, the more my feelings for her ...
A. 1 January 2010: You can't change her. All you can do is listen to her. Instead of trying to change, her, get to know why she is cynical. Maybe her past isn't happy, and she needs to be understood. ... (read in full...)
Into me? Or is it just for sex?
Q. okay guys, here's the deal, there is this guy i have known at least since i was 10 years old most likely longer and we just ,in the past couple of years, started to be friends and we were always picking on each other just for fun and then he went ...
A. 1 January 2010: First of all, give yourself a break. Guys will like you! So don't put yourself down.
This guy sounds like he might like you, but he's just moving a bit too fast. So I would suggest that you say to him you'd like to get to know him more first befo... (read in full...)
He told my ex he likes me...
Q. theres a new kid in my school and i really like him, my ex was talking to him and said he liked me, what should i do?...
A. 1 January 2010: For your ex to say this new kid likes you, then the chances are he likes you. Why don't you talk to him and see what happens?... (read in full...)
Happy New Year!
Q. HAPPY NEW YEAR to all readers, Aunts, etc.! It's been a very good year. Please don't be in agony if your New Year's eve love dream doesn't happen tonight-- it's just one long evening, and I get nervous, too, but try to be philosophical. Just r...
A. 1 January 2010: Happy new Year to you too. x... (read in full...)
Just friends when he thinks the woman is sexy?
Q. Can a male and female just be friends if he thinks the women is sexy?...
A. 31 December 2009: She's a bit more than a friend. If he could have sex with her, he would. ... (read in full...)
Lost my virginity I need help please
Q. ok i lost my virginity yesterday early in the morning around 1 or 2am in the morning me and my boyfriend want to have sex again but will it hurt worse the second time or not?and will it be hard for it to go in even though i already had sex once?...
A. 31 December 2009: It will hurt a few more times yet, but it will get better. Just tell him to be gentle and make sure he spends time on you, and you'll be fine.... (read in full...)
Unsure what to do...pregnant at 15!!
Q. well without a doubt im pregnat. 15 years of age thats the bad thing about it. with me being sexually active i had only one partner wich is my boyfriend. we have been together for two years now, and we always used a condom. i just dont know what to ...
A. 31 December 2009: You have no choice but to tell your parents, because they're going to notice that you're pregnant at some point. The worst thing to do is to keep this to yourself. Either that, or go straight to the doctor and speak with them. ... (read in full...)
She says shes tried to be friends but just doesn't understand me
Q. I have recently fallen out with a female friend. I've known her for around 8 months. I did like her as something more, but she rejected me. Since, it's been a bit difficult being friends, but it was working out. We got on great the last times we ...
A. 31 December 2009: There is a very high chance that now she is dating someone she has decided to move on. You need to move on too. You're too hung up on her, and it's not healthy. ... (read in full...)
What deos it me when a guy says he doesn't want a relationship?
Q. ive been talking to this guy i met on plenty of fish.. on his profile it says hes looking for dating.. he calls me alot even though hes on holiday.. he have good conversations and make eachother laugh.. but he says hdoesn'tnt want a relations...
A. 31 December 2009: He is telling you he's not interested. Sorry. Now you need to be brave and move on.... (read in full...)
How do I find a good strong man?
Q. How can I find a good, emotionally strong man for a shoulder to cry on, hold me, listen, etc? I'm 5oish woman in southern California, USA....
A. 31 December 2009: Shania is right. Take it from a guy that the most terrifying thing in a woman is a lack of confidence. Men aren't all that great with emotions, and we have enough of our own to worry about. You will find guys who'll listen, and who will care for ... (read in full...)
I don't like the person I've become since I've gotten married
Q. Let me set the stage for anyone who's reading: I've been married for 10 years with children. My wife and I got married at a very young age because of our first child or should I say, I married my wife because of our first child. After that...
A. 31 December 2009: If you don't love your wife, don't stay married to her. First of all because you will eventually find someone you do want to be with and end up having an affair, and secondly because children are very perceptive and your children will pick up that ... (read in full...)
I'm 16, and my 20 year old boyfriend has 3 kids, am I in over my head?
Q. I am sixteen and seventeen in under a month. I am with a guy who i've been with now over a month he is 20. And even though it's only been a month i am really falling for him, he is amazing when i'm with him he makes me feel happy. The only problem ...
A. 31 December 2009: He has children with two other women and he's only 20? I'd say rethink this, because he doesn't seem like a reliable guy. How long until you have a kid with him and he wanders off or something. the other thing is you need to accept now he has kids ... (read in full...)
Am I just someone who occupies his time?
Q. i've beendealing with guy for 5 yrs but he has a girl who he lives with and has a 14 yr old son . he doesnt trust me but he doesnt want me around other guys or even talkin to guys. what i want t know does he hav feelings for me or am i jus someone ...
A. 31 December 2009: He lives with another woman, he doesn't trust you but doesn't' want you even talking to other guys? I would run a mile now. Clearly there are issues in his life he needs to sort out before anything else. ... (read in full...)
He wants to be with me 24/7
Q. I need some help my boyfriend follows me every were evan if I go in the kitchen or to my bedroom iv evan spoke to him about it and he's says he's wants to be by my side 24 7 but I need my own space and can't evan have that I think he's obsessed and ...
A. 31 December 2009: Really slow down and talk to him. This could turn into a seriously dangerous controlling obsession if you don't talk to him about it now. You need to explain that you need your space, and you need to be firm. ... (read in full...)
Emotional affair with your boss
Q. Hi. I filed a HR report against my boss. THis is a retail environment. We previously had an 'emotional affair', as is called these days. He actually wanted to be friends in spite of my HR claim. He tried being my friend again, but he ke...
A. 31 December 2009: He's obsessed, which is affecting your career. Go back to the HR department, make another complaint and warn them if it continues you'll sue for sexual harassment. At times like these, you have to be tough. ... (read in full...)
I want my cake and eat it too. Why not he has!!!!!!Help
Q. I got married young and Iam very confused about what to do at this point. My husband and i have been married for 7 years and its been a ride. He has hurt me in the past in which i forgave him.Now he is giving me his all (i think) Now I have a lover ...
A. 31 December 2009: You can only have one other the other, or you will lose them both. If your husband finds out, which he will eventually, he'll leave you. And no doubt your lover if just using you for sex because he knows you're not totally happy in your marriage and ... (read in full...)
Speedo watcher
Q. I am in love with a guy at the gym who wears speedos! I can't take my eyes off him when he gets in or out of the pool. He is tall and thin but looks incredible in those skimpy speedos. When he gets out of the pool, I have asked him some question...
A. 31 December 2009: I'm sure other girls do. All I can say is ask him out, but please remember there is more to him that just skimpy speedos! Good luck :)... (read in full...)
I love her but her behaviour and mood swings are making me question it all, please help!
Q. I need some really good advice. Please... My fiance and I have been engaged for about 6 months. We met one year ago. I realize most people will think that was way too soon to get engaged. It was a little fast but i don't regret it. I love her d...
A. 31 December 2009: Some women can suffer very badly from hormones, but she sounds like there's something that's really getting to her. All I can say is get talking to her about how she feels and listen. Something might come out, it might not. but she needs to open up ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend appeard to throw up after I told him about my past! Why??
Q. ok so last night i was on the phone with my boyfriend and we were talking about something, and he asked for a pic of me in a new shirt i had told him about wearing it and a thong only, i told him maybe then asked for one of him in boxers and asked ...
A. 31 December 2009: To be honest he sounds really immature. I'm not entirely sure why he felt like he had to throw up, but asking you for a picture and then suggesting he send you a picture of his d**k is quite immature. I think he has some growing up to do to be ... (read in full...)
Small sharp pain in my left ovary, is this a sign of pregnancy?
Q. I have this sharp small pain in my left ovary similar to what I used to get at the beginning of my last pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage last June.. is this one of the early signs of pregnancy? Has anyone experienced a similar pain b4 finding ...
A. 31 December 2009: Well it might be. I know a woman who had the same kind of pain as you, and it turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy. I think you should see a doctor, because it could be dangerous, or it could be something else.... (read in full...)
Attracted to another guy, but I love my boyfriend, help!
Q. I need help. I have a boyfriend who i have been dating for 11 months. i love him so much and i really don't want to lose him but a few days ago i went to my friends birthday party and there was this boy there who i have met a few times and have ...
A. 31 December 2009: Maybe you don't love your boyfriend as much as you think if you're feeling this way, Look at the relationship with your boyfriend and decide whether you really love him and want to be with him or not. ... (read in full...)
We had sex, he pulled out, but could I be pregnant?!
Q. i had unprotected sex last night and he pulled out onto my backside... i was wearing a thong tho (he jus pulled it aside when we were having sex) and he got his cum on it. i didnt take my underwear off until about 30 mins later. i jus had my period ...
A. 31 December 2009: You could be, because pre-cum has sperm in it. You need the emergency pill within the next two days. And from now on please use contraception.... (read in full...)
I'm in love with twin brothers
Q. okay...so listen please, i am 15, and i am practically crazy over these twins. They are my age and i have known them since pre-kindergarten, or since i was four. so one of them is absolutely crazy over me and we are always looking for chances ...
A. 31 December 2009: He's using you. You wouldn't feel too good if someone was doing this to you and your sister. I think you need to focus on yourself for now.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mum interferes with our relationship
Q. I need help you guys, im 17 years old and my boyf is 21. He lives at home with his widowed mum due to money issues (ie. she has none because she retired very early and now needs his). Over xmas he came to us on boxing day while she went to a mates ...
A. 31 December 2009: It comes down to one thing. She has no one else in the world so is relying on him. She's probably terrified she will lose him, so controls him so her won't go. She will always be a part of his life, and until he is able to talk to her about it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps souvenirs of his ex
Q. Months ago, i found in my boyfriends room, cards and photos from his previous relationship. I asked him why did he keep them and he said "to remember the good memories". This hurt a lot but he eventually threw them away. He reasoning later was that ...
A. 31 December 2009: I think he was telling you the truth. Some people keep photos and such of ex's because of memories and to be fair he has thrown all those other cards away and is with you. However, clearly if you find something else you'll know he isn't over her. ... (read in full...)
Would you treat someone differently if they had acne?
Q. Hiyaa. Another question coz I am very self conscious. As you know, I'm 13. Be honest with me. If someone had acne, would you treat them differently, and would you notice they had it? :/ xx...
A. 31 December 2009: I had it and to be honest I didn't really care about it. Anyone who treats you different or judges you isn't worth your time. If you do think it is bad, you can do the doctor and get medication to help. But honestly, don't worry about it. ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting about my boyfriend's eagerness for a threesome?
Q. Am I overreacting when my boyfriend is overly enthused about a threesome? I mean, I brought it up, but I just wanted to see what he would say. Now its all he can talk about, and he wants it with my best friend who is prettier than me and has bigger ...
A. 31 December 2009: No, you're not being unreasonable. But you have opened a can of worms here. Tell him firmly that you will not have a threesome at all. ... (read in full...)
I recently found out that my boyfriend is married with kids...and dating other women!
Q. well i have a big prob i don't know what to do. I have been dating this guy for nearly year and a half now, About 8 months in the relationship i found out he is married and had kids. I was so upset. I asked him about it which he denies at first an...
A. 31 December 2009: Ask yourself this. Do you want to mean nothing to this guy, or something to the next? You know you need to get away from this guy, and the only way to do that is rebuild your life. You think you've messed it up. You haven't. This is now the time to ... (read in full...)
The player who fell in love
Q. okay so there is this guy and he told everyone of my friends that he liked me/loved me/would never get over me. he didnt know that i really liked him too but he knew i was attracted to him (we wanted to hook up) but since he told my friends, he ...
A. 31 December 2009: Unless he makes a move, you can't do anything. Unless you want to be brave and talk to him. ... (read in full...)
Sticky itchy clear dischage?
Q. I need help ive been having this sticky itchy clear discharge for a few weeks now ..... I dont have insurance to go to the doctor but my boyfriend wants to have sex. Does anyone know whats wrong with me or what i can do about the situation..... ...
A. 31 December 2009: I really think you need to see a doctor. You could have some sort of infection. Only a doctor could tell you what it is.... (read in full...)
She's controlling me with sex!
Q. So I am dating this girl and we have been have sex for a awhile but one day she randomly decided that she wouldn't have sex anymore because she's in a bad mood indefinitely. I feel its a power play on her part and so I told her to enjoy her time and ...
A. 31 December 2009: Perhaps she's checking whether you were using her for sex or whether you really wanted to be with her. If you really wanted to be with her, maybe it wouldn't have mattered so much. Maybe she's just not the girl for you. ... (read in full...)
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