| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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How Can I Break Them Up?
Q. The guy I have like 4ever is dating some freshmen (we are juniors)that he only met a week ago, its obvious hes rebounding from his last gf cause they only broke up a month ago. I stayed out of his last relationship and let it take its course but ...
A. 30 December 2009: You're not being judged. You're just setting yourself up for more heartache. If he wanted you, he would be with you.... (read in full...)
Can I ask why he's suddenly become very consistent with the condoms or not?
Q. Let's skip the safe sex talk cause, yeah I know better but anyway... I've had a friends with benefits relationship with this guy for the past 5 months. He's overall a decent and respectful guy and we used to see each other at least once a wee...
A. 29 December 2009: It could be either. Maybe he's worried, or maybe he has slept with someone else. But I would say don't ask. You are only a friend's with benefits, not his girlfriend. So I'm afraid you kind of have to accept it. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for me to be so afraid of his penis?
Q. So I've been seeing this boy for while now, and thing are starting to get intense, sexually. He rub me and makes me orgasm, but I'm too scared to do anything to him. I don't know what's wrong with me but every time I touch his penis I get jumpy and ...
A. 29 December 2009: Yes, perfectly normal. I'm sure if you ask a lot of women they'll say they were scared of their boyfriend's penis at first. Just relax and if you're not ready, then you're not. ... (read in full...)
Am I living in a little world of my own? I want to have a baby...
Q. Hey Cupid, I just need some advice. I will put the picture together for you.. Im 20 years old and am from and living in the UK. My boyfriend who i have been with for just over a year, is in the US Navy and living in california with work. We fly to s...
A. 29 December 2009: Kind of, but don't worry about it. You've done all the research with documentaries, baby books and you've even seen that your sister has a had a baby, so well done for finding out abut things. What you haven't checked is the finance and the ... (read in full...)
The perfect relationship
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 7 months now....and well were perfect for each other. I mean we both make each other feel good about ourselves, for example I am kinda fat and she is too but i tell her she is beauitful everyday cause I think so, ...
A. 29 December 2009: No, you won't get bored. What you have to realize is it isn't perfect. At some point, you'll have an argument, and you'll have to work it out. At some point, one of you might feel a bit bored, so you'll both have to put more effort it to each other, ... (read in full...)
My gf lied and cheat on me back in hometown
Q. Hi Cupid, I've been going out with my philippine gf for 6 months now and we have lots of great time together. lemme introduce herself first. as i did before in my previous post, i will do it again here. she have a kid in philippine when she was...
A. 29 December 2009: You need to get the hell away from this girl now. Dump her immediately. She's using you for money.... (read in full...)
At first I found him rather repulsive but now I like him
Q. Well there was this guy that I used to find repulsive but he started to change his attitude and I became attracted to him. We started to have some kind of connection but there was one problem there was a girl he was already hanging out with only ...
A. 29 December 2009: You don't have to tell him a thing. There's really only one way to ever get over someone, and that's to immerse yourself in something else. Go out with friends, focus on your school work and your own life in general. The other thing you have to ... (read in full...)
We won't be getting back together and it hurts
Q. Well, ok... I am in love with someone and I never felt this way about anyone in my life. We broke up and we are still really good friends but we have talks. We still love eachother and still tell eachother we love them. My only problem is that we ...
A. 29 December 2009: You wish he was nothing but yours, which is lovely. But the more you help him, the more you tell him you love him, the longer it will take to get over him. He likes this other girl, so now is the time to back off and try to move on. It will take ... (read in full...)
Trapped! What do I do about him?
Q. Dear Cupid, Recently, I went to my friend's church. I met a guy there. Let's call him Bob. He gave me his number after the service and ever since We've been talking. At first, things went great. He is such a sweetheart. Always calling me cute ...
A. 29 December 2009: This guy cheated on his ex girlfriend, who no doubt dumped him for it, then dumped you on Christmas Eve. He wasn't worthy of a first chance to be honest. Men are great at saying things, but our actions speak louder than words, and this is how you ... (read in full...)
My ex keeps texting out of the blue.
Q. I broke up with my ex over a year ago. I have to admit, she is the only girl I have ever loved. But I don't mind being single and she never seemed to really commit after a year and a half. Early on after the break-up she would ask me to dinner and ...
A. 29 December 2009: She's just toying with you, like a cat with a ball of string. If she really loved you, she'd be with you, and of she was really with someone else, she wouldn't be talking to you. What's happened is she left hoping to find someone else and hasn't, so ... (read in full...)
How Can I Break Them Up?
Q. The guy I have like 4ever is dating some freshmen (we are juniors)that he only met a week ago, its obvious hes rebounding from his last gf cause they only broke up a month ago. I stayed out of his last relationship and let it take its course but ...
A. 29 December 2009: You can't for two reasons. One, he will hate you for it when he finds out you broke it up. And two, because he's into this girl and not you. He might be on the rebound, but imagine if you break them up and he does come to you. Sounds great, except ... (read in full...)
Are these signs that he likes me or just doesn't want to be my friend?
Q. me and my guy best friend are really really close. when we started the new school year he used to find me in the halls and talk to me and always wanted to hug me. when i would see him in his class he would always wave and smile at me. recently ...
A. 29 December 2009: It might be that he fancies you and is now very shy and confused about it all and how he feels. Sounds like you really like him too, so maybe just try talking to him and say you've noticed you've been drifting apart a bit. Hopefully he'll open up a ... (read in full...)
How do I stop negative thinking and enjoy dating?
Q. When I first meet a guy I'm really confident. But if it goes to the next level, like going on a date, I start to get insecure! I always think that there is someone better out there for him and why is he wasting time with me? The guy I'm going out on ...
A. 28 December 2009: You need to look at your life and ask yourself why you're so insecure and why your esteem is low. Have you been hurt before, or bullied? You're a lot better than you think, you just don't know it yet. Take a look at your life and ask yourself why it ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting about fiance and texting?
Q. Am I overreacting because I called this women and asked her why she was sending my fiance text messages inviting him to the movies and thinking of him while she is having christmas dinner. I called and asked her she said that he didn't tell her ...
A. 28 December 2009: No, you're not. She has told you all you need to know about your fiancé. You now know he has been lying. I would think very carefully about whether you want to marry this man. ... (read in full...)
Do girls like having sex as much as guys do?
Q. hello everyone; i am a male, 25.. and i am still a virgin... and i always wonder if girls like having sex as much as guys do...; talking of asian girls they are very shy and find it immoral to talk about sex..; it doesn't seem that they enjoy doing ...
A. 28 December 2009: They do when a man spends time on them, listens to them and cares for them. Have patience and show her you care.... (read in full...)
How can one define beauty and how did its pursuit get so destructive?
Q. We largely agree that true beauty comes from within and superficial pulchritude fades with time...However, since young women are constantly being bombarded with images of gorgeous people who relentlessly seek to sell us the promise of looks, ...
A. 28 December 2009: There is no way to define beauty. Beauty is what we make of it. I might think a woman is beautiful, someone else might not. It all depends on what we see and what we like. Sadly, the pursuit of beauty comes down to two things. One is men, the other ... (read in full...)
What does it mean in HIS eyes?
Q. When a man introduces you to his childhood friends as HIS GIRL...even though we have not talked about a relationship together, but we're moving towards that; what does that mean in his eyes?...
A. 28 December 2009: It means the chances are he wants you as a girlfriend. When a man introduces you to close friends, you're usually something special. Maybe talk to him about how he sees the relationship. ... (read in full...)
Does masterbation cause health problems?
Q. hi there again, this time i want to ask that do masterbration effects health?? I mean i masturbrate 2-3 times daily and day by day i am feelling weaker! I asked a friend and he told me that masterbrating too much can also cause AIDs! So i want to ...
A. 28 December 2009: No, not at all. You'll be fine.... (read in full...)
Secret shopper?
Q. Hi.I was wondering if any of you have heard of a job called secret shopper ?. Is it a genuine job ?. It sounds very interesting but I want to make sure that it's genuine. Has anyone here ever done that kind of work, or known anyone who has done it ...
A. 28 December 2009: I know someone who's done it. You basically go around shopping for the best prices, and finding out about the service shops offer and such. It is genuine, and I'm sure for shopaholics can be fun. So good luck.... (read in full...)
Why has he not responded?
Q. I've had a thing for this guy for about 6-7 years and a few weeks ago he finally had me over to his place. After having 2 beers he finally told me how he felt about me and I was like wow. He felt the same way i did. He is now being weird and still ...
A. 28 December 2009: You're a lovely girl, so don't think it's you, but this guy isn't sweet really. He was after using you for sex and nothing else. A guy can be measured by his actions. He didn't offer you dinner, he offered you two beers at his place. Move on from ... (read in full...)
Do I sound like a prude for not wishing strange men crawling into my bed uninvited?
Q. Hey everyone. Insight requested just to make sure I am not crazy. I am single and not in a terrible hurry to find anyone even though eventually I would love to. I have been hanging with a crowd of people for almost a year and everything was going ...
A. 28 December 2009: For some reason, when everyone is single, they're happy single, yet when they become a couple, they suddenly have to make sure everyone else is in a couple. You're not prude at all. You're a lady. Stay that way and keep your morals. You'll feel a ... (read in full...)
Best friend has alienated me
Q. when i was at school i felt like i had friend, but now i have left because i needed a job, my once best friend has alienated me, and now i feel like i have no-one in my life, i feel so lonely, i have no idea what i have done to her, what can i do?...
A. 28 December 2009: Well I am sorry for you. I'm sure you must feel alone. She may be distancing herself from you because you've gone away and she doesn't want to be hurt. Is there any way you can talk to her?... (read in full...)
2 periods in October and none since, am I pregnant?
Q. hey im a 16 year old girl and i am always feeling sick all through out the day an through the night to and really tired all the time just always feel like sleeping i had 2 periods in october but since then i havent had one am i pregnant?? please ...
A. 28 December 2009: From what you say, it's very possible. I think you need to get yourself tested as soon as possible.... (read in full...)
Do girls flirt by actions rather than words?
Q. There's a girl in my church. She started coming to our church about 2 years ago. I see her 2-3 times a week at church, but we don't talk much apart from that. I kinda like her but haven't told her that yet. I'm 21 and a bit shy and quiet, she's...
A. 28 December 2009: Yes, girls do flirt through actions, and it can be confusing. She's flirting with you because she wants your attention, so if you like her, get talking to her. Good luck. ... (read in full...)
Do I tell her that I know she's lying?
Q. Right, the names Darren, 16 years old. I really need your help! Please! Well me and my former partner broke up a few months ago, over trust issues between one another after a year and a half of being a couple - and there was other people in the sp...
A. 28 December 2009: Exit. She could be a compulsive liar. Time to move on and find a girl who won't hurt you and lie to you like this. You now know you cannot trust her at all. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is texting multiple women
Q. so i know it was wrong but i went through my boyfriend's phone and i found that he has been texting multiple women, before he used to call me when he was at work but he stopped, that is what got me suspicious( he works at night) one call he talks to ...
A. 28 December 2009: He's using you, like he will use all those other girls. You went through his phone and you found the truth. He is playing you and other women. Tell him, dump him. Never go back to him.... (read in full...)
Affair with college tutor
Q. So heres my question, I've been having a year long affair with my college tutor. It was great at the beginning all the excitement and stuff that came with it. Yes he is married and she is another tutor at college. And yea they both teach me. It r...
A. 28 December 2009: He's used you and wants to continue using you. And to be having an affair with a student is illegal. You have to tell someone if you want it to end. He has used you. ... (read in full...)
I'm 20, girlfriend worried she's pregnant and I'm not ready to have a kid!
Q. I had unprotected sex with my girlfriend once 'cuz I ran out of condone that day, but I took it out when I came. I was in a worry since after that time. Now, my girlfriend said that she hasn't have her period yet, and it is already time for her ...
A. 28 December 2009: She will have to take a test. And if she is pregnant, you have a duty to her and the child. But you need her to take a test so you can find out.... (read in full...)
Which protection is safer?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for a year now. I've decided i want to loose my virginity to him. when we started talking about what protection we would use we had an issue. for my first time i want a guy to cum inside me, but of course i ...
A. 28 December 2009: Good for your boyfriend. The safest contraception is using both the pill and a condom. The pill to prevent pregnancy at about 98%, the condom to ensure there are no infections and to help back up the pill. Use both. your boyfriend is right. ... (read in full...)
I think I have a split personality
Q. Hi, I think there is something wrong with me. I have split personality's. It sound's strange but true. One day I can be the most happiest person alive. I talk a lot sing loads, I buY lot's of nice expensive things for myself and I become very sel...
A. 28 December 2009: It could be that you're suffering from depression. I think you need to talk to your doctor, because it can be controlled. Don't be afraid. This is normal in quite a few people, so there's nothing to worry about. ... (read in full...)
His ex had a baby and now everything is all messed up
Q. i met my bf 3 mnths ago,and we were so in love and talked about a future together,everythin was fine ,then he found out his ex has had a baby 3 mnths ago and ius saying it is his,he says he needs time to sort his head out till after the dna test,but ...
A. 28 December 2009: I'm afraid you have to give him time. He's got a lot to think about. Give him time, and see what happens.... (read in full...)
He likes me but he has a girlfriend
Q. So, there's this boy named Nathan I like very very much. I used to go to school with him, but i transfered. It's about 4 years later. We've been talking and hanging out, a lot. It's been at least 10 times. It's not just for an hour or two, it's all ...
A. 28 December 2009: You can't. And you don't want to either, trust me. This guy wants to use you and is using you. If he really wanted you, he'd dump her, wouldn't he? So before anything else happens, I'd suggest you tell him it's either her or you. He has to leave ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling very guilty about my boyfriend and work and feel so alone, please advise.
Q. hello all, ive let my problems pile up over the years and now ive got to sort them, i want to completely change my life because everything in it is wrong ive been in an on off relationship with my daughters dad for 12 yrs and im tired now he was ...
A. 28 December 2009: You sound like you really need to evaluate your life, maybe start over. Stop the relationship with your daughter's father. He's only hurting you and using you. And maybe think about retraining in a new job. People can let a lot of things get to ... (read in full...)
Why won't he answer me?
Q. The other day I asked my boyfriend what would he do with me if he could have me for one whole night and he said he didnt know and the next day when I asked him if he a different answer he said no and that he hadnt thought about it!i want to know why ...
A. 28 December 2009: Two reasons. One, he may be very shy about sex. Two, girls mature more quickly than boys so he may not have a clue about what he would do. Have patience. ... (read in full...)
Are the things he says to me normal? Do other women accept this?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. Aside from all of the false accusations of infidelity (that seem to be habitual for him...and kill me inside), he uses depression and unemployment as excuses for his harsh words about me, my ...
A. 28 December 2009: No woman on earth should be subject to this degrading and appalling treatment. Thank you for coming here. Now I will give you your advice. Dump this useless disgusting excuse for a man right now. I've never even spoken like that about my ex, and she ... (read in full...)
Getting your ex back through friendship - did it work for you?
Q. Hi, has anyone out there ever tried to win their ex-boyfriend by playing the friend card? Staying in life as a friend and hoping things take their natural course to reconciliation? thanks...
A. 28 December 2009: Yes, once. I didn't work. It almost never does. You need to move on, or you'll just be hurt for the rest of your life.... (read in full...)
He's making me feel guilty because he pays for me on dates!
Q. i've been in a relationship with a wonderful guy for over a year now. in the beginning of the relationship, things were fine. i was in high school and he was in college. neither of us were quite financially sound (hey, we're students), so it...
A. 28 December 2009: Move on from this guy. It's one thing to go dutch, but it's another to make your girlfriend feel guilty about it. You can do better than him. ... (read in full...)
Am I being used and should I move on?
Q. I’m a 43 yo female living with my boyfriend going on 3 years. I want to be married and have told him this. He told me he wants to marry as well but wants to make sure first. I wonder if he wants to marry at all now because I came upon some missing ...
A. 28 December 2009: To be perfectly honest with you I wouldn't be surprised if he turned out to be gay given some of this interesting behaviour. His behaviour suggests that he is using you, yes. And after 3 years, he should know if he wants to marry you or not. Move ... (read in full...)
Does he deserve a second chance?
Q. The other day I ran into the guy I was seeing over the summer. He ended it with me because he still had feelings for his ex. Well he went back to his ex and ended it agaaain with her. He has been chasing me ever since Aug. He said it was a big ...
A. 28 December 2009: Not a good idea at all. He left you for his ex, then came running back. What happens if she comes into his life again? He shouldn't have screwed up in the first place. I think you can do better if you want the truth. ... (read in full...)
Are these signs he has feelings for me?
Q. Ok so I really like this guy and he is my best friend. I really wanna know how I can tell if he likes me or not. So he told me last year that he liked me two years ago when we first met. So lately he's been flirting with me and treating me like I am ...
A. 28 December 2009: Oh yes, they are signs all right. Talk to him about it!... (read in full...)
Why does my girlfriend talk to her friends but not me?
Q. Why is my girlfriend not telling me things? She won't even tell me what is wrong. But she tells all of her friends. What do I do?...
A. 28 December 2009: There are some things men are not meant to know. Girl things! Don't worry, it's not that she doesn't trust you. It's just that her female friends can probably be of more help. Always ask her what's wrong she knows you're there for her, and always be ... (read in full...)
Taking a chance with a coworker?
Q. Thanks for your help in advance. My boyfriend lives with me (6m) we are happy. Now at work before I dated him I had this connection w a coworker(female). I really like her- I am very attracted to her. However she has never been straight forward...
A. 28 December 2009: Dump your boyfriend. You don't love him enough. The sit down and think about what you really want from your life. If you want to take a chance with her, go for it. But you don't really love your boyfriend, because if you did you wouldn't be thinking ... (read in full...)
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