| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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My mum is eating herself into an early grave... how can I get her to change?
Q. Please help. I'm really worried about my mum. She's been overweight for as long as I can remember but I'm really starting to worry about her health now. She's very heavy - she must be obese although I'm sure she doesn't realise this or is in denial. ...
A. 3 January 2010: Look beyond the eating problem to what is really wrong. Maybe she's suffering from depression or something? The eating might be for comfort more than anything else. Try talking to her about how she feels about life instead, maybe she will open up ... (read in full...)
Ex just looking hotter and hotter
Q. well i still having strong feelings for my hot ex gf and every time i see her i just get depressed and sad because shes getting hotter every time and she has a bf tho but i feel she still likes me butt i was her first bf and she wants to see whats ...
A. 3 January 2010: There will be an even better girl out there for you somewhere. You must try to move on from her. ... (read in full...)
He seems to sway towards being friendly but then gets upset about past arguments!
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles. I have posted here before and got some helpful advice so I'm back again! I'm really confused about the behviour of my ex. We split up about a year ago but stayed in touch. During arguments he has threatened to change his phone ...
A. 3 January 2010: There is a saying, it goes like this. If you want to know a man, speak to his first wife. She has said he was controlling, but at the same time she remained closed to him. So it's safe to say there were serious problems on both sides. That's a ... (read in full...)
Afraid 2 have sex with virgin gf
Q. my girlfriend of 3 months is a virgin. i am not a virgin and hav been in 1 relationship so far in my life. im not looking for anything 2 serios yet due 2 my former heartache but my gf keeps pestering me for sex n im afriad 2 give it 2 her. if i take ...
A. 3 January 2010: If you don't want to marry her or be with her, then please don't take her virginity and end it now. She obviously thinks you two have a future, but if you take her virginity and dump her later, she will feel used. I think you should reconsider this ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend just left for army training and its killing me... any one been in my shoes or could just give me some advice?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for just over 3 months now, i know it doesnt seem long but you know when you have that connection that is soo strong and makes you feel like their the one, well hes that guy. Any way he just left for ar...
A. 3 January 2010: I'm not in this situation, but I'm sure every army wife and girlfriend feels this way. I'm sure the British army has a support network, so maybe ask your boyfriend about that, or have a look on the internet. Then you can talk to women who are in the ... (read in full...)
My lover wants to be watched!
Q. hi i have been in a relationship for the past 18 months and we have both fallen in love with each other very much so. our sex live is wounderful and we are exploring each other. a few weeks ago whilst having sex i asked about what her fantasy was,...
A. 3 January 2010: This sounds like a fantasy that shouldn't happen. She said it was her fantasy, but even she seems unsure about it. I think both of you need to be very sure you want to do it before anything is arranged. ... (read in full...)
My family frustrate me. How do I handle their taunts?
Q. God im so angry! My job is high pressured, i work in a contact centre in customer service making outbound calls, my targets are high and on average a day i speak to 80 -90 people. Calls are recorded and it quite a strict place. Anyway today at...
A. 3 January 2010: I worked in sales for a year. I know how high pressured this work can be. You work hard, you need sleep. It#s not your job to run around after your mother's friends. And if your brother joined in, why can't he do it? Don't do it. Just say you ... (read in full...)
Afraid boyfriend will leave me if I don't have sex
Q. I'm scared that if i don't have sex with my boyfriend he will leave me. He's not pressuring me into anything, but it does make me wonder weather this is the only thing he's interested in? He's already done it with his ex girlfriend when they were ...
A. 3 January 2010: Apart from it being illegal until you're 16, if any guy ever pressures you he's not worth your time. Wait until you are ready. ... (read in full...)
How can I make things better between us?
Q. Help me please, i really cant stop thinking about this guy, i met him in may last yr and swapped numbers, then stoped talking then in october, we started talking again, and hit it off really well, i met him 3 times and slept with him twice, the ...
A. 3 January 2010: You have been used. He used you I'm afraid. I am sorry. Now you need to move on, or you'll become obsessed with him. If he was truly interested, he would have got into contact with you. You need to move on. ... (read in full...)
Is she having an orgasm?
Q. I just want to know how do I tell when my girlfriend is about to have an orgasm or is busy having one, because most of the time when i give her oral sex, her body shakes and she tenses up for a moment then releases and she moans alot, is she ...
A. 3 January 2010: Yes, she's had an orgasm, and the reason her legs are lame is because of the intense blood flow. ... (read in full...)
Sex with my husband is almost zero! Help!
Q. Hi, I don't understand what's happening with me and my husband. We been married for only 2 years, his 20 years old and i'm 23. I feel as if he's changed, when we were boyfriend and girlfriend before, we were so active with making love. But now that ...
A. 3 January 2010: Talk to him about it. Tell him hoy you feel. He may just have settled into marriage a bit too much and needs to be reminded you need attention.... (read in full...)
Does he want a second date?
Q. I am so nervous about this that I can't sleep. I went out with a really sweet guy who I really like a lot, but I'm afraid that he doesn't like me as much as I like him. We had a great conversation and lots of flirting, but nothing more tha...
A. 3 January 2010: Yes, ask him. He might be shy. Maybe he thought the same as you did. And at least he did respond to you. Ask him out again and see what happens. ... (read in full...)
Curious about sex!
Q. Whats the right age to lose your virginity? I am 15 am I too young?!? How do I masturbate? (women)... What does sex feel like for a women? what am i letting myself in for?I don't want to have sex till I am 19 am i frigid?I want to have sex but ...
A. 3 January 2010: I'm a guy, so some of those I can't answer. I can tell you that in Britain it's illegal for you to have sex under the age of 16, and after that the most important thing is that you have sex when you're ready and when you're with a guy who truly ... (read in full...)
He seems to sway towards being friendly but then gets upset about past arguments!
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles. I have posted here before and got some helpful advice so I'm back again! I'm really confused about the behviour of my ex. We split up about a year ago but stayed in touch. During arguments he has threatened to change his phone ...
A. 3 January 2010: If you want the truth, I think he's a mess and I don't think it's advisable for you to have a relationship with him again at the moment. I'm not even sure if he really knows what he wants out of it all. Perhaps he hasn't really got over his nasty ... (read in full...)
Every time we meet we hook up but why doesn't he make a proper move?
Q. Iv had my eye on this fella iv known for quiet a while. There is amazing chemistry between us, we seldom see each other but over the last few years every time we have met we have hooked up. We got "reaquinted" :) over xmas (i hadnt seen him in ...
A. 3 January 2010: If you're having sex when he sees you, then he's just using you. Other than that, he could just be shy. I think you need to talk to him about it all. But remember what I said. If when you get 're-acquainted' you're having sex, chances are you're ... (read in full...)
He's kept everything from his relationship with his ex
Q. Basically, I have the decition of dating a man. He is everything i like. Funny, smart, attractive, sweet, ect. The whole pacage. My mother loves him, but has no idea what is going on with me and him. We spend just about everyday togeather, and each...
A. 3 January 2010: The age gap isn't a problem if there is true love and both of you are putting effort in. The problem is that he seems like he is on the rebound. I think it always takes time to get rid of personal items. He may not want to get rid of everything ... (read in full...)
Lonely, lost and confused
Q. This is long and confusing and hard to put everything into context but in a nutshell - i am totally confused about my feelings i keep having about my brother in law. History - I have been with my current partner for 15 years, we met at high scho...
A. 3 January 2010: I think that BIL represents an escape, and I think that's why you like him. He's been good to you, and you haven't felt that for a long time, so you're attracted to him. Don't worry, it's natural. That is only part of the problem though. Thankfully, ... (read in full...)
Is he only interested because I am unavailable?
Q. I am in an unhappy relationship for over 7 years. Have a child but do not feel relationship is going any where. Have developed a crush on another man who knows my bf. Whenever I see him he acts nervous and keeps staring at me when I am not lo...
A. 3 January 2010: He likes you, but he knows your boyfriend and he knows you're unavailable, so won't move on it. I think you need to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel in your relationship though. Maybe you cab make it work and fix it, or maybe it would be ... (read in full...)
She is 34, I am 21, and I am in love with her!!!! what shal I do? any Advive pls??????
Q. hi all, I met a girl who is almost 10-12 years older than me. But through our communication we both feel that we have many things in common, and there are small differences which we can adjust. But I haven't still spoken of my feelings to her and ...
A. 3 January 2010: So get to know her. I'm going out with an older woman, and to be honest she's the best thing that happened to me. Take the chance.... (read in full...)
Why am I having these dreams? What do they mean?
Q. i have been having these dreams lately about this man i never really noticed who he was until i thought about it deeply, i remember this man from when i was seven i remember the police interviews with the camera's in different of the rooms and some ...
A. 3 January 2010: You need to ask your parents what has happened to you in the past. I can't jump to conclusions, because I don't know any facts, but it sounds as if something happened to you when you were younger. I know you don't want to upset your parents, but ... (read in full...)
How does the zodiac sign picese attract another picese with bipolar?
Q. Theres this boy... he is really hot. He's 14 and his zodiac sign is a picese. i just would like to know how i could make him fall in love with me. we happen to both be the zodiac sign. i just need somebody to help me figure out how i could make him ...
A. 3 January 2010: Just talk to him, smile at him, get to know him. ... (read in full...)
We only have sex about 3 times a month, help!?
Q. Hi all. This is my first question so bear with me. I'm in a relationship with my fiance and have been for 4 1/2 years. We have a 2 year old child together and a mortgage and share pretty much everything. I Love her and she loves me. I couldn't i...
A. 3 January 2010: I think you do need to talk to her about it. Well done for trying to be more romantic and spontaneous. Don't give that up. A kid doesn't end your sex life, but it could be that she's very tired, or she's worried about her body or anything like that. ... (read in full...)
Should we continue to disobey her parents?
Q. So, there's this girl (i am a girl too), there is a bit of distance, but in the end, i feel that its a minor problem. Basically, this girl and i have just been talking for a few months. We realize it would be sort of hard to officially label ou...
A. 3 January 2010: You are both you are, and nothing can change that. If her parents can't accept her for who she is, then that's their problem. You have to do what you both feel is right for you. ... (read in full...)
Involved with a guy but I like his housemate more! Why doesn't the latter want sex?
Q. I was having friendly sex with a guy i then meet his house mate. We get on really well, and we made out like teenages. There are a few problems. He says he dosnt want a relationship. He had a bad breakup but it was afew years ago and he dosnt want ...
A. 3 January 2010: It might be two things. First of all, you've been with his housemate, so maybe he just doesn't' want to go there and cause problems. Secondly, maybe he just needs more time to get over this other girl. Probably best to leave him alone at the moment. ... (read in full...)
How can I keep friends that will make me happy?
Q. i have a group of friends that lately have been treating me horribly i cry all the time. so i decided that i would stop being friends with them and they dont seem to care which hurts me even more. i tried making new friends so that i have new people ...
A. 3 January 2010: First of all, stop worrying. You're a teenage girl, and just about every teenage girl goes through something like this. You're not alone. You made the right decision getting rid of the old friends who weren't treating you well. These new friends ... (read in full...)
Horny around my 17 year old sister!
Q. I am a 15 year old male. And I have started to get horny when I am around my 17 year old sister. I don't know if I should keep hanging out with her or if I should stop until these feelings pass. Please help....
A. 3 January 2010: The way to stop it is to go out with friends and meet other girls in particular. ... (read in full...)
Why be so disrespectful towards me if u claim to like me?
Q. if he claims he likes me why does he disrespect me? today a guy i dont even date embarrased me in front a group of people. the thing is since 2008 we have liked each other on and off. well today was his birthday n he asked me if he can cop feels on ...
A. 3 January 2010: He fancies you, but I think he's too immature to bother about, and frankly he sounds like he's only interested in sex. If he keeps trying to feel you up, slap him hard around the face and tell him to get his hands off you. A man who doesn't listen ... (read in full...)
B/friend's parents HATE me!
Q. I have been dating my bf for a year now, and his parents are an issue. His mother more so, in the beginning she wouldnt let us hold hands in her house. She says she likes me and when I go over, shes always glad to see me. Untill my bf and I fought...
A. 3 January 2010: Clearly his mother has a problem with her little boy becoming a man, and she's worried about losing him. It's a well known fact that the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship is the most strained of all. But you don't' have to take this at ... (read in full...)
He said it wasn't him but the booze!
Q. I have been bestfriends with this guy for a year in a half. He always had feelings for me but I never really had feelings for him. He was always there for me and I could always vent to him. 3 months ago k found out he was moving 2 1/2 hours away. We ...
A. 3 January 2010: You've already forgiven him too much. He made promises and broken them, he has a problem with drink and now he's cheated on you. DO NOT take him back. You're too good for him and he clearly has no respect for you at all. He didn't even invite you to ... (read in full...)
I was the rebound guy
Q. First post on a site like this. Any thoughts would help. I admittedly was the rebound guy. I was single and confident when I met her and simply looking for a good time. We had an amazing summer together while she was home from school. She's 2...
A. 3 January 2010: She has low self esteem, and he treats her like rubbish so she went back to him because in her mind she wants to be the women he changes for. It would make her feel better. The reality of course is that he won't change and will be left hurt. But you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me he doesn't want a relationship in college. what should I do?
Q. So, heres the deal. I'm a junior in high school. My boyfriend is a senior. We have been dating for 6 months. Our age never made a difference at all, until now. He's starting to get serious about college, and it has brought up questions about our ...
A. 3 January 2010: He's not committed to you, and you are to him. That's not a good sign. He'll either dump you or cheat on you. I think if he has said he doesn't' want a girlfriend while in college, it would be better to leave now before you get hurt. ... (read in full...)
Small hard bump inside me?
Q. Hi. I'm a 15 year old girl, and I've never had any sexual relations other than a simple peck on the lips with anyone. I recently found a small, painful bump on the right side of my privates. It's not in the vagina. When I feel it it's like a ...
A. 3 January 2010: Go to the doctor. I wouldn't have thought bath salts would cause this. ... (read in full...)
I'm scared if I say no he'll dump me!
Q. Im 16 and my boyfriend is 17 We had oral sex once and now he seems too want it alot... Sometimes i want it (because it feels good) but at the same time i dont want things to get out of hand but im scared that if i say i dont want too he'll dump me ...
A. 3 January 2010: If he dumps you because you say no, then he's not worth your time. Don't be pushed into anything you don't want to do. ... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend. Is he not falling for me because he's afraid he'll get hurt?
Q. Well, I like a guy. This guy has a girlfriend. Their relationship is fairly new. I'm almost positive that this guy has feelings for me. He talks to me much more than he does his girlfriend, and we flirt often. Well, I think that the reason he isn't ...
A. 3 January 2010: You could either take a chance and tell him now, or you'll have to move on. the problem is he already has a girlfriend, and he may just fancy her and not you. If he did fancy you, then maybe he would be with you. Certainly don't wait around though. ... (read in full...)
Will he take my letter the wrong way?
Q. if i give this letter to him is he going to take it the wrong way? i dont want to leave him..its supposed to be more of a wake up call or a warning.. "i think we both know how much i love you and that my intentions in where this relationship is ...
A. 3 January 2010: The thing is, according to that letter you've already asked for him to change his behaviour and he hasn't. So you're having to ask twice for him to change his behaviour? That's twice too much given that he's supposed to care about you. And that's ... (read in full...)
15 and pregnant. HELP!
Q. Im 15 And Pregnant, i really need help. So please tell me what you think i should do....
A. 3 January 2010: Before you do anything else, make an appointment to see a doctor and get a full health check. In Britain it's free and confidential. When you've done that, speak to the doctor about help in how to tell your parents and the father. They can offer ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems more concerned with getting his ego boost from this older woman rather than considering my feelings in all of this!
Q. I am 21, and my bf is 25. We have been together for about 10 months now. When we first met, I remember him telling me that he usually goes for "older women" and has never dated someone younger. I felt a bit insecure and on edge because of that. ...
A. 3 January 2010: Well it does, depending what he's been up to with her... (read in full...)
Help! Did I cheat on my boyfriend!
Q. i have recently started seeing this guy who i really like and finally we've moved a step further and decided not to see anyone else and see how it goes. i am 100% faithful id never cheat on anyone. my family is pretty messed up i didnt know my dads ...
A. 2 January 2010: Well stay strong,get checked and if you ever need to talk about anything, we're all here. ... (read in full...)
Falling for a taken man
Q. so my situation is this, i met a guy while i was still in a relationship (that was already falling apart), this guy and i had sex it was AMAZING!! at first i thought its just for fun. I break up with the bf since it just wasnt working out. I ...
A. 2 January 2010: Yes, easier said than done. Just focus on your future and ask yourself what you want from life. Do you want to be second best to a married man who is using you, or can you see you deserve better and deserve a man who will adore you.... (read in full...)
Help! Did I cheat on my boyfriend!
Q. i have recently started seeing this guy who i really like and finally we've moved a step further and decided not to see anyone else and see how it goes. i am 100% faithful id never cheat on anyone. my family is pretty messed up i didnt know my dads ...
A. 2 January 2010: I wasn't saying you were a nutcase. I was saying that if you try to bury it, when you get older, it might suddenly come back. However, you must do as you want to. Though I also have to say make sure you're not pregnant by this other guy, and make ... (read in full...)
Is he taking advantage of all the freedom I give him?
Q. so my boyfriend spends a lot of time with his friends playing football, video games and other stuff, but i think he spends to much time with them and not enough with me sounds crazy right, well i do things with my friends but he hardly do anything ...
A. 2 January 2010: To be honest, I think you really need to talk to him about how you feel. He doesn't sound like he's into you at all. There is something wrong when a guy would rather spend time playing football, video games and such when he has a girlfriend he's ... (read in full...)
Help! Did I cheat on my boyfriend!
Q. i have recently started seeing this guy who i really like and finally we've moved a step further and decided not to see anyone else and see how it goes. i am 100% faithful id never cheat on anyone. my family is pretty messed up i didnt know my dads ...
A. 2 January 2010: You can't just forget about it. A woman I know did that. Ten years later, she tried to kill herself because of depression. If nothing else, please get counselling. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems more concerned with getting his ego boost from this older woman rather than considering my feelings in all of this!
Q. I am 21, and my bf is 25. We have been together for about 10 months now. When we first met, I remember him telling me that he usually goes for "older women" and has never dated someone younger. I felt a bit insecure and on edge because of that. ...
A. 2 January 2010: No, I don't think you are over-reacting at all. I have a thing for older women, so I never go for younger girls who I'm not interested in just for this reason. Let him have his married woman. Find a guy who really does love you instead.... (read in full...)
Falling for a taken man
Q. so my situation is this, i met a guy while i was still in a relationship (that was already falling apart), this guy and i had sex it was AMAZING!! at first i thought its just for fun. I break up with the bf since it just wasnt working out. I ...
A. 2 January 2010: You've seen the problem. If he really liked you, he'd be with you. As it is, he's just using you. End it and move on. ... (read in full...)
Help! Did I cheat on my boyfriend!
Q. i have recently started seeing this guy who i really like and finally we've moved a step further and decided not to see anyone else and see how it goes. i am 100% faithful id never cheat on anyone. my family is pretty messed up i didnt know my dads ...
A. 2 January 2010: You didn't cheat, but you do need to tell someone about this. I'm pretty certain what he did was illegal. Never meet him again, and also get yourself tested by a doctor for STI's and pregnancy as soon as you can. ... (read in full...)
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