| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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He did not even tell me her got back with his ex!
Q. I have a guy friend that i've been foolin around with for 8 months and i really like and i wish we could be together but he has a girlfriend/babymama and when he's with me sometimes he does'nt even go home that nite...he spent time with me 4 my ...
A. 10 February 2010: I have hear this all before. If he was that into you, he would pick you. Don't fall for the male trick of telling you you're the one but still living with her. His child would be fine even if he left, as the child gets to see all the problems at ... (read in full...)
Are we heading back to rekindling our affair? I want it back but I don't want to look foolish if he is no longer interested
Q. I think he started flirting with me again. I am married and developed a flirtation/friendship with a single guy who happened to be my daughter's teacher last year. We moved to the next level and had sex a few times throughout the summer. He broke ...
A. 9 February 2010: If you want him, divorce your husband. ... (read in full...)
What would be an appropriate valentine's day gift for a fwb?
Q. I'm going to be spending valentines day with my closest friend. he and I have been real good friends for 3 years but have been fwb, too, for the past year and a half. we both agree that we're closest to each other of everybody we know. he's really ...
A. 9 February 2010: You could get him a card and go out for a meal. But to get something personal might cause problems if all you want is an fwb relationship. ... (read in full...)
I stayed up all night plotting and rehearsing revenge on my hubby for watching porn! But I watch it myself!
Q. I did a google search to see if I could find some answers to something that's been bothering me. I am 8 months pregnant, and my husband told me last night that he had been looking at porn again. We have an open relationship, and really don't keep ...
A. 9 February 2010: Well first of all you have recognized that there isn't a thing you can do since you watch it yourself, which is a good thing. I guess you feel bad because you just want to the only woman he sees as attractive. What you have to remember is that he ... (read in full...)
No matter how well I treat her she cant be happy!
Q. I am 22 years old as well as my girlfriend. we have been dating sense we were 16. our relationship was amazing for the first 2 years and the physical side of the relationship was great, then she became more and more distant and the intamacy just ...
A. 9 February 2010: The time has come to move on. Her problems run so deep that for you to stay is going to end up with you even unhappier. You aren't doing anything wrong. This is about her and her own feelings. It's best for you to move on. ... (read in full...)
What would be an appropriate valentine's day gift for a fwb?
Q. I'm going to be spending valentines day with my closest friend. he and I have been real good friends for 3 years but have been fwb, too, for the past year and a half. we both agree that we're closest to each other of everybody we know. he's really ...
A. 9 February 2010: Nothing if you are just a friend with benefit. Maybe just go out for a meal or something. But if you are just a fwb, then keep it low key. ... (read in full...)
My husband get's mad when I wont have threesomes. How can I get out of this?
Q. I caved to a threesome with my husband, and I don't want to do it again ....but he gets mad and insists that we do. How do I get out of this situation?...
A. 9 February 2010: You've made a huge mistake doing it the one time. You tell him straight that you won't do it again. If he persists, then you know he doesn't care about how you feel and you must end it. ... (read in full...)
He does not talk to me in person, only by email. Is he too shy or what?
Q. There is this guy in my school, he's in two of my lessons, and I think he likes me, but I'm not too sure. When we're in our computer class, he e-mails me (he always starts convos first-I never do, too scared XD) and we often have funny and quiet ra...
A. 9 February 2010: Yes, he probably is shy. The other problem is that your friendship has been started over the internet, rather then in reality. You need to speak to him. Be brave. ... (read in full...)
I just think if a guy likes u he will be in touch everyday! am I wrong? Do I need to be more patient??
Q. I was wondering if anyone could share some opinions on this and if i'm expecting too much! Ok so met this guy (kinda knew who he was before but not really to chat to) he took me number, we were texting all week he was always asking question...
A. 9 February 2010: I can. Just from your description, this guy sounds like he's only really interested in anything casual. He's a bit of a player by the sounds of it, and doesn't seem totally interested in you. He got bored far too quickly, and it sounds like he's ... (read in full...)
Jekyll and Hyde, Narcissistic Personality Disorder? What is this about?
Q. I never left him, everytime I do it just falls apart but I have changed . I was right of being suspicious about the other woman. He plays away, he has sexual affairs yet he tells me I am the only one he loves blah blah blah.. I know him well l...
A. 9 February 2010: My Dad has narcissistic disorder, and it really does affect everyone around them. It's so exhausting and continually wrecks your esteem. It will date back to a particular moment in your husband's early childhood where mentally he became jealous of ... (read in full...)
I really care about her and would like to know how she feels.
Q. ok i have this girl and i was her first well that was the one and only time we had sex then i move away i'm back now and she has a kid (not mine) and a old man and we have became really good friend like so good we talk ever minent we are alone if ...
A. 9 February 2010: She spends a lot of time talking to you, so why don't you take the chance and ask her. If you don't say something, you'll never know. ... (read in full...)
Am I just being paranoid that he will use me for sex due to the way I have been treated in the past?
Q. ive been getting to know this guy.. he calls me a lot.. and he actually does call me when he says he will:) the thing is he keeps asking me if i like him..i like talking to him.,,hes good looking, sweet..he seems like a gentleman.. b...
A. 9 February 2010: It's normal to feel like this if you've been hurt. In fairness, perhaps it's good that you do. That way, you will spend more time getting to know him first. He sounds like a good guy, but you need to get to know him more. Spend time talking and ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or should I go?
Q. I recently wrote about finding condoms in mine and my bf's car and how he bought them for us and forgot them there. I also mentioned texts between him and some girls were, well lets say he crossed the line.(8 mnths ago) Well what if I do get ...
A. 9 February 2010: If it had just been the condoms, I would say maybe you could stay. But there have also been the texts as well. All right, they were 8 months ago. But it seems to me there are a few issues here. I think in truth you might be better moving on. Even if ... (read in full...)
Are we heading back to rekindling our affair? I want it back but I don't want to look foolish if he is no longer interested
Q. I think he started flirting with me again. I am married and developed a flirtation/friendship with a single guy who happened to be my daughter's teacher last year. We moved to the next level and had sex a few times throughout the summer. He broke ...
A. 9 February 2010: It's not whether he's interested. This now comes down to a choice you need to make. Because at some point, you are going to be found out either by your husband or even worse, your daughter. You need to decide whether you want to work on your ... (read in full...)
I made out with my friend and now he has stopped calling me!
Q. hi, am very distrubed, i had a friend, we have been together for aby 6 months, no sex but be shared good times together, but one day, we decided to make out for the FIRST time, and after that, he never called again. i called and texted him, he ...
A. 9 February 2010: I would suggest sending him a letter telling him you are disturbed by his sudden lack of contact, and that you really would like to talk to him and find out what is wrong. If you still get no reply, then you need to move on for your own sake. ... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and my bf has a 16 year old daughter who is doing everything in her power to split us up.
Q. my boyfriend has a 16 year old daughter. i'm 19 and he's 50 - she's had a problem with us being together for the whole year and a half we've been together. at first i tried to get on with her but she started being devious and trying to get him back...
A. 9 February 2010: Keep every text and message you receive. Do not contact any of them again. This is just mind games by two very bitter women who just don't get that he's moved on. Keep everything they send you as evidence and have nothing to do with them at all. ... (read in full...)
I cant get motivated to go to school.
Q. I never want to go to school. I mean, when I get there, the lessons aren't so bad. I just can never motivate myself to get up and go! It's not becuase I'm tired in the morning, I just feel whats the point? And I know I should go, I really ...
A. 9 February 2010: Well first up, your parents will be the ones who get into trouble if you don't turn up. To be honest it sounds like you might be depressed. In general, how is school? Are you being bullied, or have you been bullied? Or is the work getting you down?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got another woman pregnant!
Q. I've been living with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. A few months ago, I found out that he got his officemate pregnant.She was on her 5th month that time. I know that this is mainly my guys fault, but I found out that the girl knew all along ...
A. 9 February 2010: The truth is you are just too good for this guy. You really are. Even after all that you've said and been through, he still allows himself to be photographed, and she has said that it's safe to have sex, so she is still interested. The blunt truth ... (read in full...)
My mum is flirting on the net, do I tell my dad?
Q. i am seeking advice on wot to do. here goes-my mom an dad have been parting and getting back for about 2 years. her version is he`s got a fancywoman. his version is she is meeting men off the internet. my husband spent 3 hours fixing her laptop ...
A. 9 February 2010: Remember that you still don't know whether your father is seeing another woman or not. You have only proved that your mother is lying. You tried to tell your mother, so this time tell her again straight you saw the conversations on the internet and ... (read in full...)
I'm being abused by my husband but have no where to go. Should I leave or stay?
Q. hi, my husband has only increased his drinking since our marriage 8 years ago. he has quite grand ideas about himself and considers himself to be a blessing to humanity. He started physically abusing me from the 3rd month of getting married, even ...
A. 9 February 2010: You are better off leaving and just getting as far away as you can. Otherwise he might start hitting your child, or he might kill you. ... (read in full...)
What motivates a guy to be nice to his ex?
Q. Hi, Aunties! Thanks in advance for reading-- I'm just wondering what motivations a guy might have to be abnormally nice to his ex. He never tends to be as nice or sweet or thoughtful as he's being, except when he pretended to love me. Could it ...
A. 9 February 2010: It's more likely he's just trying to keep you on a leash. You're better off just having as little to do with him as possible.... (read in full...)
She's married, she's 36, and my teacher. But I love her!
Q. I am in love with my English teacher. I don't know what to do. She is married and like 36 and has 2 kids but I can't stop thinking about her. I try to stand close to her and sometimes even just touch her by mistake but not really. I even told her I ...
A. 9 February 2010: This is a crush. Enjoy it but accept nothing can happen, and even your teacher has told you to be careful. ... (read in full...)
He flips out everytime I mention our future!
Q. I've been in a committed relationship for three years and my boyfriend and I live together. I've never, ever rushed him into anything or put a time line on our relationship, but whenever I try to just approach the topic to just see if we want the ...
A. 9 February 2010: He's not interested in commitment. This is the sign of a commitment phobe. End it and move on from him, because you will be wasting a huge amount of time with this guy. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend lets people walk all over her. How can I change this?
Q. ok, so i have a kinda Big problem here. the thing is that my gf thinks that its her goal in life to make everyone happy and please them all the time, even though she says she doesnt know why she thinks that, but she still feels she Has to. one of ...
A. 9 February 2010: You can't do a thing to change it. Her need to make everyone happy comes from her needing to feel cherished and appreciated, because it's clear her home life is a bit difficult. Basically, she wants to be loved. So rather than try to change her and ... (read in full...)
Will it be a mistake to have sex with my sister-in-law?
Q. I have a sister in law whom is living with us in the same house. She wears clothes where her nipples are visibly mark, wears shorts where her most private part is also marked. I can't evade fantacizing her. Whenever the door of her room is open, I ...
A. 9 February 2010: Yes, you are making a mistake. Don't even think about it. ... (read in full...)
My ex and I still talk but I don't know how he feels about me. How can I find out?
Q. ok ...so me and my ex still talk and stuff but we r not 2gether anymore ... every now nd then i spend time with him ...nd have the greatest time ever... he still tells me he loves me but ..we dont talk as much as we did b4 ...only when he bas...
A. 9 February 2010: He told you he loved you, so he probably still does. ... (read in full...)
I want paybacks on my best friemd!
Q. wow my "bestfriend" has always screwed things up for me but i always forgive her becuz she can be nice sometimes. she has started rumors and made fun of me and stabbed me in the back so many times i lost count. its too much stress when we fight and ...
A. 9 February 2010: Don't try to get even. If you try that, you'll end up looking bad. I think if she is treating you this badly, it's better to just end contact with her. Tell her you will no longer tolerate being treated this way and for your own sake you have to ... (read in full...)
Does having a drivers license - or not - affect getting dates?
Q. will not having my drivers license in a rural town affect if girls will date me? Due to slow and unmotivated parent still dont have it. Its the root of much of my hesitance to date, does it matter?...
A. 9 February 2010: It will matter if you can't see them. If you can see the girl often enough, and you're both happy, then you should be all right. But clearly if you can't see the girl, you're going to find it more difficult. ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if an old flame actually likes me or just wants to be friends...?
Q. i met up with an old falme on saturday night for a quick drink, but now im getting mixed signals. How can i tell if he actually likes me or just wants to be friends...? after meeting with him i went out with a couple of girlfriends, i texted him ...
A. 9 February 2010: I think he is interested. But you need to take it slow and continue to get to know him to be sure, because just now he's seemingly insecure and you've heard he might be seeing someone else. Just take it slow. ... (read in full...)
He did not even tell me her got back with his ex!
Q. I have a guy friend that i've been foolin around with for 8 months and i really like and i wish we could be together but he has a girlfriend/babymama and when he's with me sometimes he does'nt even go home that nite...he spent time with me 4 my ...
A. 9 February 2010: You're fooling around with a guy who has a girlfriend and a child. What did you think would happen? You are the mistress, that's all. He doesn't love you, he was just using you. A man has a mistress so he can use her. He doesn't have her there for ... (read in full...)
Do guys kiss and tell?
Q. if you kiss a guy or he kisses you, will he go and tell everyone about it? is it possible if i ask him not to tell, that he won't? please help me (im 15)...
A. 9 February 2010: If he's a young immature guy, he might. If he's young but mature, he might not. I never did because I was mature for my age and didn't need to say anything, but there were some guys who did. It depends what this other guy is like. If you ask him not ... (read in full...)
Why does he ask for my help then insist I am wrong?
Q. What do you make of this frustrating situation? My b/f and I took a road trip recently. He set GPS to destination, yet still insisted that I read the map. When we stopped for lunch he glanced at the map and pointed out a small highway that looked ...
A. 9 February 2010: Not all men are like this. I think he was doing it to undermine you and to make himself feel better and more manly. I think if he's doing this a lot, you need to move on and find a better guy. ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend such a control freak??
Q. Why are men such control freaks? I can't stand it! My boyfriend is so bossy it drives me nuts. Yet God forbid I ever make a suggestion about anything he hasn't thought about in that "brilliant" mind of his, and I am "nagging" him! WTF! How do you ...
A. 9 February 2010: Errm, hate to tell you this, but most guys aren't control freaks at all. I'm certainly not. And there are a lot of friends I have who aren't as well. So dump this boyfriend and identify why it is you pick bad boys, because if you're meeting one bad ... (read in full...)
I can't choose between the nice man and the emotional one!
Q. I broke up with a lovely man who treated me well, but didn't have much in common with me. It was a hard decision but I felt I really needed more of an emotional connection. I started seeing another man and we became heavily involved. I am absolutely ...
A. 9 February 2010: The nice guy isn't right because you think he's boring. And the nasty guy isn't right because you'll get hurt. So neither man is right for you, and you would do better to keep looking. ... (read in full...)
He won't discuss Valentine's Day and I feel like he doesn't care anymore.
Q. My boyfriend and I are complicated right now and we are trying to fix things. weve been together 4 years now. its almost valentines day and he hasnt said anything to me about going out. i already got him a gift and a card, and im just waiting for ...
A. 9 February 2010: It's not wrong that you want him to ask you out at all. There is a possibility that he's planned something and wants it to be s surprise. There is also a possibility that he has planned nothing. I think you need to wait to see what happens after ... (read in full...)
The thought of her doing that with another guy disgusts me!
Q. I need your opinions. So last night my fiancé was giving me head. As I was about to finish, I pulled it out of her mouth and finished on a towel. She seemed surprised and asked why I didn't finish in her mouth. I said I didn't know, I didn't t...
A. 9 February 2010: You're not wrong for feeling the way you do. But you have to remember this is all something that happened in the past, and she is now with you. I know my girlfriend has been with other guys but I just don't ask about what happened in her past, ... (read in full...)
Is he a pedophile for dating a 13 year old when he was 17?
Q. I am in a relationship with an amazing, mature and positive guy, who is also my age (27 -28 years old). We are inseparable and I feel happy when we are together. When we are apart (we live in different countries) for longer than 3 weeks, say, I ...
A. 9 February 2010: Whatever he says, it was statutory rape as she was under 16. And he knew about it, which would be enough to make me worry. ... (read in full...)
My fiance tried to sleep with my best friend! Should I leave him?
Q. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-has-lied-and-cheatedand-yet-can-be.html Above is a link to my situation. I am still with my fiance. I am writing this to tell all women to GET OUT when someone cheats. IF you read the above, and think I ...
A. 9 February 2010: Whatever happened between your fiance and best friend is now irrelevant. You could sit there analysing everything, and you will still not know what the truth is. So first of all stop looking for the truth and accept what has happened. The point of ... (read in full...)
Has having a long distance relationship ruined my chances for a normal one?
Q. So I have a pretty big dilemma. Let's call my boyfriend- B Question. What should I do with my relationship? I feel stuck. The past six months or so I can't help the feelings, or lack thereof I feel towards B. We have been together for more t...
A. 9 February 2010: He is right not to take a break and get back together with you. No man wants to be hanging there in limbo while the woman he loves is off with other men. Having and LDR may have very much made this relationship harder to stay with at the moment. ... (read in full...)
He seemed shocked when I asked him to cum in my mouth! I thought this was common.
Q. Ok im really confused becuase i thought guys like it when you let them cum in your mouth. I never did it before and my bf asked me where he should cum and i said my mouth cause i wanted to taste it for myself. He seemed shocked kinda and i asked him ...
A. 9 February 2010: Relax, you're not weird or anything like that. Not all guys like to come in a woman's mouth, and most women don't like having to drink it. He was probably just a little surprised, that's all. ... (read in full...)
Is Facebook reflecting how I fail socially in the real world?
Q. Sorry, but this is post about using a social networking site to validate my worth as a human being. I am on facebook and I am not popular on there, nor am terribly popular in real life. I'm like a leper of facebook actually. Less than 30 friends and ...
A. 8 February 2010: I'm not even on facebook. I have about five very close friends and that's it. You could have 1000 friends on facebook, and it would prove nothing. Friendships in the real world are what count. ... (read in full...)
He says all he wants in life is sex!!! Does this mean he doesn't care for me any more?
Q. Hi everyone, i am 18 and have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. I love him very much and always have, we`ve had our ups and downs but are still together. He is the first and only person i have ever slept with. However he never says "I love ...
A. 8 February 2010: This means mentally he is unprepared for the world of relationships. If all he wants is sex, chances are he didn't really love you in the first place anyway. Best to move on now before you get really hurt.... (read in full...)
He only says nice things to me when he's smoking weed...
Q. i have been with my boyfriend over two and half years, i love him so much but he smokes weed all day which doesnt really bother me but it seems now thats hes only ever nice to me when he is high, when he hasnt had any weed he is really angry with me ...
A. 8 February 2010: No, not at all. He calls you names and tell you you're ugly when he's sober. What use is that? None at all. He doesn't' care abut you at all. ... (read in full...)
Preventing pregnancy
Q. Am I right that it's possible to get pregnant without penetration? What should I look out for to prevent these little accidents? What time about during the menstuation cycle is it least likely to get pregnant?...
A. 8 February 2010: They can be exceptional at the right times. Always make sure that you and your boyfriend wash your hands after, and make sure you use protection. ... (read in full...)
Preventing pregnancy
Q. Am I right that it's possible to get pregnant without penetration? What should I look out for to prevent these little accidents? What time about during the menstuation cycle is it least likely to get pregnant?...
A. 8 February 2010: Just don't get any sperm near your vagina at all. ... (read in full...)
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