| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I need to know how I can find out how he feels about me.
Q. Hi am looking for some advice. I am a 27 year old Single mum of 1 and I met a 24 year old guy about 6 months ago. We work together and get on really well. In the last few months we have been flirting etc and about 2 weeks ago as we were dancing at a ...
A. 4 February 2010: Well if he's very slow to make a move, it's less likely he's there to just use you. I think you need to continue to get to know him, meet with him and just talk. Get to know him, make sure you like him and make sure he's a good guy, and if he's ... (read in full...)
We talk a lot online but face to face it seems he doesn't want to talk
Q. So, I have this best friend who is a guy that I have been really good friends with for about 5-6 months. As you have probably guessed, I have really fallen for him and basically just want to know if you guys think he feels the same because I'm ...
A. 4 February 2010: He's shy, so make a point of talking more to him face to face. A lot of guys are shy, and hide behind technology nowadays. So the best way to get to know him is ask to meet him and just talk to him. Ask him a few questions about himself and see ... (read in full...)
I feel I am no longer the light in his eyes
Q. Hi all, My partner and I have been dating for just under 2 years now. When we first met, he was loving, attentive, told me I was the woman of his dreams and lit up whenever he saw me. he did all he could to make me happy. I know that this is par...
A. 4 February 2010: You haven't done anything wrong, so don't' apologize. He even still does little things for you that shows he loves you. Speak to him about it. Tell him that you're a little worried he's pulling away and you want to re-ignite the relationship. ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to be glad he is not somebody other girls would be all over?
Q. When it comes to height and weight, I'm right smack-dab in the middle of all that is average for someone my age. I'm just under 5'5" and 117 lbs. My boyfriend of over five years, however, is not what you would call "petite". He has a foot of height ...
A. 4 February 2010: This is more to do with your own insecurities than anything else to be honest. I think your confidence in yourself is very low, so you're looking elsewhere to feel good. The best thing you can do is become more confident for yourself (which is ... (read in full...)
I am falling for a married man
Q. Hello, I would like to have your advice on this situation and please don’t judge me if possible. Well, you will agree with me that we have little control over our feelings. At my place of work, there is a man who really turns me on. I have a crush ...
A. 4 February 2010: You need to focus on your life, get out there and meet new people. If he started an affair with you, chances are it would only be for sex and you'd end up hurt. Look at your life, and go out and meet people, start a new hobby that takes you mind off ... (read in full...)
I need some direction in life
Q. hi im nina... there are alot of things happeneing on my mind and i dont know what to do. i dont know what i want. i mean im really confused and adding on that i cant think straight in my business class (im taking a diploma on it) so its importan...
A. 4 February 2010: Do what your heart tells you. If you want to go back to the coast and study and live, then do just that. Start thinking about what you want to do as a career, research companies that might be able to help you at some point. Take up a new hobby that ... (read in full...)
He has unresolved issues with his ex, who seems a really nice lady
Q. Hello. I have just started seeing a guy who is a divorcee and after he split up with his wife he had a long partner for about 8 years. He is 51 years old with a grown up sone at college. I am a bit worried because of the way he talks about his ex ...
A. 4 February 2010: I think it's well worth you backing away here. You don't want to end up just being a rebound girl. Continue to see him sometimes, but explain that you think until issues are resolved you think you should take it slow. ... (read in full...)
Why is he blanking me all the time?
Q. I really like this person , im madly in love with him. We have both admitted how we both like each other but for the past couple weeks everythings been going downhill. We hardly talk to one another and when we get the chance hes always avoiding it. ...
A. 3 February 2010: You have to leave him well alone. He's avoiding you and blanking you, which is a coward's way of saying he's just not interested in you anymore. Time to move on, no matter how much it hurts.... (read in full...)
How can someone get over someone?
Q. How can someone get over someone when it hurts really bad? I'm in deep pain.. I hurt and I feel my life is on hold. I just miss him all the time and he doesn't want to even talk to me. He doesn't respond to my calls or texts.. He took advantage of ...
A. 3 February 2010: Delete his contact numbers, his emails, everything. Then focus on your own life and really throw yourself into friends, family, work and hobbies. To stop feeling this way, you must end contact first. ... (read in full...)
Did he have sex with her before coming to see me???
Q. My boyfriend usually takes around 10-15 minutes to orgasm. But the other day he came over after meeting with a girl and when I tried to give him oral sex.. he said his penis was sore... so he wanted just normal sex.. but once we had sex he orgasmed ...
A. 3 February 2010: I do't think he did. He came too quickly I think. If a guy has sex before, chances are he won't want sex after and he won't come that quickly. Clearly if there is any other proof though, then be aware. But if it's just that, it's unlikely. ... (read in full...)
Can anyone guess what’s going on in his mind? Does he actually like me?
Q. Hey. I need some help. I’ve been talking to a guy on msn as mutual friends for over a year and I’ve fancied him since. He’s the first person I’ve proper liked. I didn’t see him much but by now I see him every day. There’s a problem though. ...
A. 3 February 2010: The best thing to do is to ask him to meet up in person and just get to know him a bit more, like whether he has a girlfriend or not. If he doesn't, tell him you like him and really want to get to know him.... (read in full...)
We arranged to meet Sat night and I have not heard from since.
Q. i am so confused. i was txting wat i thought was an honest decent man for th last six months. he would txt me ever spre moment he had every morning day and nite without fail. i felt something forhim and was re he felt it too. he coudnt wait to meet ...
A. 3 February 2010: I think you'd do better to let it go. ... (read in full...)
I waited 3 months for a dinner reservation in a top restaurant and my bf has just cancelled out. Is it ok to take another man to not miss out on the dining experience?
Q. A while back I booked a table at the supposedly best restaurant in the UK and it took me 3 months and a cancellation to get in. My b/f has known about it for weeks and how excited I am about it. Today he texts me to say that the mother of his child ...
A. 3 February 2010: I know you're cross, but this is something you could let get really out of hand. The fact is he wants to see his child, and his child comes first. You would do better to take a female friend, because if you take another male and try to make a point, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 16 months continuously sends friend requests to models, adult film stars, etc. Should I be worried?
Q. Does anyone have any insight or advice about this: my boyfriend of 16 months continuously sends friend requests to models, adult film stars, etc. He doesn't know these women personally. I am a little concerned, and wonder if I should be worried ...
A. 3 February 2010: I would suggest to you that though this is more about fantasy, it's pretty clear that he's not nearly into you enough. I would talk to him about it and say that you need to know where this relationship is going.... (read in full...)
Should I confront my bf's female text buddy over flirty messages?
Q. I have founds some texts on my bfs phone and to cut a long storey short from a female he apears to have met online or through a friend (as she doesnt know how he looks), although the conversation is flirty its not sex-chat, and its unclear weather ...
A. 3 February 2010: No, not the woman. Either she really doesn't know you exist, or she doesn't give a damn. And yes, it will get back to him. You're far better off asking him about her. The problem here is your boyfriend. He's been texting one woman, and has now been ... (read in full...)
I think my bf's Aunt wants to have sex with him.
Q. I'm in a real relationship for the first time and have a three month old. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now. But whenever he goes near his aunt, I feel like they might start something. It's not like they are blood related or ...
A. 3 February 2010: I don't think anything will happen between them. You have real facts or anything, just an idea that because she said she liked his butt she fancies him. She may have said that just for a joke. If you're worried, ask your boyfriend for some ... (read in full...)
I want to marry her but don't have the nerves to ask!
Q. I love my girlfriend more than anything else and I want spend the rest of my life with her, but I'm don't have the guts to ask her to marry me even though I'm fairly sure she would say yes. She makes me smile when no one else can she is always t...
A. 3 February 2010: If you've not quite got the nerve yet, then chances are you're not ready. Give it more time.... (read in full...)
I have never had a gf I don't think I have the courage to ask any one out... can some one help me?
Q. ok well im 13, atheist, and i have grown up closer to girls than guys, so i know alot more about jr. high/ early highschool feelings and though processes than most other guys (yes i grew up with a single mother) i have one friend that is ...
A. 3 February 2010: You're 13, so slow down. There's no rush. If you like both, then you don't fancy either of them enough to make them a girlfriend. Slow down, take your time and then when you meet a girl you really like you'll know to ask her out. ... (read in full...)
Was he looking at porn or flirting on line befoe having sex with me?
Q. Ummmm, without trying to be too specific, I took a shower and then when I was done I went to my bedroom to put on clean clothes, and my man was in the room with something in front of the door, and when I walked in he was more then ready to get ...
A. 3 February 2010: Next time, ask him what he's doing, or look at the history. ... (read in full...)
He re-used the same condom. Will this make it less effective?
Q. i setp with someone for the first time last night, and he took the rubber off after, then put it back on about 5 mins later after through it on the floor. he didnt cum the first time because it was quick. but what are the chances of me geting ...
A. 3 February 2010: Apart from being VERY unhygienic to use the same condom that has been on the floor, the condom is weaker. Never re=use a condom.... (read in full...)
MY bf of 8 years just up and left to another country without telling me.
Q. I have been in a relationship for 8 years. I've done everything for him. He left in the beginning of January to his sister in another country, without even notifying me. I heard it through the grape vine. He hasnt contacted me up to now. I've...
A. 3 February 2010: I hate to tell you this, but this is the best thing that could have happened. You're free of a guy who is an alcoholic, doesn't care for you at all and blames you for everything, and even blamed you for not having things in his life. He's perfectly ... (read in full...)
I told an engaged friend how I feel about her and now she does not want to talk to me.
Q. Friend of 2 and half years now, she moved to CA for pursuing PhD with her Boyfriend (Both American, they’ve been dating for 3 years before moving to CA). She became my close friend. I’ve been nice, kind and caring to her, always been there to ...
A. 3 February 2010: I'm really sorry, but she used you to make her boyfriend jealous so he would propose. That's the only reason she did what she did. And now she's pulling away because she's got what she wanted. This was all about making him jealous so he would ... (read in full...)
I became aggressive in trying to get him to like me and I tried sleeping with him but he could not perform
Q. I have liked this guy for over 15 years. We dated over the phone when I was in the 9th grade and he was in the 11th grade. We use to talk on the telephone about every thing we had the greatest conversations. After a while, this guy asked me to be ...
A. 3 February 2010: I think you scared him. Guys don't mind being asked out, but it can be very scary to have a woman acting desperate to get into bed (no offence, I know you like him). I think you'll find he's scared. Ask to talk to him, and explain that you fancy him ... (read in full...)
Why does he make sexual comments to me if he doesn't want to have sex with me?
Q. I have a friend of about one year. At first there was a little romance and a little sex but that all cooled by his choice because 1) I have herpes and 2) I am menopausal and he wants children (he is 15 yrs younger than me). I can clearly see his ...
A. 3 February 2010: He still likes it that he can get a reaction out of you. Maybe it gives him a kick, or maybe he just likes to see your reaction. If you want him to stop, best to tell him gently that if he's not interested in you sexually, there's no need for him to ... (read in full...)
Tips On How To Hook Up Smoothly
Q. So there's a really popular,sexy,beautiful girl at my school who's shown an interest in me. She's been going to all of my basketball games, both at the home court and away. We've gone on study dates together and I've gone to her house to study, ...
A. 3 February 2010: Stop avoiding her. You'll be pushing away and she'll be confused. You've got to just tell her you fancy her. Not easy, but you need to do it or you're going to lose her. She does like you, but the more you avoid her the more you are going to lose ... (read in full...)
How do I handle my online dating friend?
Q. I have recently joined a dating website and have started emailing a guy that seems like a great prospect. I was the one who first send a short "ice breaker" message to him and he responded very positively. We have since been emailing very lo...
A. 2 February 2010: He might be very shy. So try calling him and see what happens. ... (read in full...)
Does my husband want me to have a baby now?
Q. We've been married for 2 years but dated for 7 before and we're both 30 (knew eachother when kids) Hes the kinda guy who loves kids. Anyway basically whenever we are making out he always like rubs and touches my stomach and just like holds onto...
A. 2 February 2010: Maybe he does. Have you tried talking to him about it?... (read in full...)
What was so wrong with wanting to have a future with the man you love and discussing it?
Q. Me and my man have split up after a year together. I felt he didn't want the relationship to progress, and proved myself right eventually... i think? I can't get over it though. I couldn't understand why he never asked me as a plus 1 to a wedding ...
A. 2 February 2010: It's pretty clear this is a man who has problems committing, and who probably was using you to be honest. There's nothing wrong with discussing the future with hi. It was a good job you did, because now you know who he really is.... (read in full...)
I don't think, I can forgive to my husband for his sexual let down.
Q. I don't think, I can forgive to my husband for his sexual let down. He totally cooled out a few years ago, and has problems with psychological erectile dysfunction. I mean he is healthy, but not able to hold an erection. But no diabetes or anything ...
A. 2 February 2010: You're keeping all this resentment in you rather than calmly talking to him about it. When he's not working, sit down and tell him that all these problems are now seriously taking their effect on your marriage, and unless changes are made, you will ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend lying about cheating on me?
Q. There are rumors going around that my boyfriend cheated on me... I am scared that they Aren't just rumors... What do I do? I already asked him and he said they weren't true but he has lied before... he can lie again. Do you think he is telling me ...
A. 2 February 2010: Stay silent now and watch every action he makes. You'll soon find out the truth. Watch for mysterious texts, times when he isn't with you and such. And ask around and find out why they all think he cheated and who with as well.... (read in full...)
Should I wait for him to sort his head out or just move on?
Q. My ex just split up with me, told me he didn't know if he felt the same way anymore and didn't want a girlfriend. We have been together about 5 months and it was a big shock to me. Though i do think he still cares about he told me he still really ...
A. 2 February 2010: Move on. This guy doesn't want you, but doesn't want yo have you which is a sign of a controlling guy who needs help elsewhere. Focus on something else, like your work, or having fun with friends. But don't bother wasting time. ... (read in full...)
Would it be wise to meet with him again seeing as we want different things from life?
Q. I met a guy on the weekend, drunken girly night out, first night out properly since I split with my ex 2 months ago (I've been a total hermit but also had a promotion at work so been concentrating on that). I haven't really been interested in gu...
A. 2 February 2010: It will lead to you getting hurt, not him. He's after one thing, and that's sex. He's not bothered about kids or anything else like that. Leave it now and move on.... (read in full...)
Would you keep going back to a bag of nerves?
Q. ok. the guy knows im very nervous with men, he has been my friend for 5 years, always been good to me, he is very sweet he seems unhappy but wont talk to me, has a girlfriend, then one day out of the blue he shows more interest and you tell him no ...
A. 2 February 2010: I hate to tell you this, but you're being used. If you're a bag of nerves, you're an easy target for guys like this. He's cheating on his girl with you. He didn't dump her and come to you for a relationship. Quit seeing this guy, because all he's ... (read in full...)
My friend is being too obsessive
Q. Hello everyone, I have a problem, at school there's this girl who I was nice to and we became friends, but now she's too obssesive, she waits for me after every class, intimidates my other friend, make me feel really down when she always complaine...
A. 2 February 2010: You have to understand why she's like she is. She's latched onto you because she's so desperately insecure and just wants a friend. So before you push her away, just try talking to her and asking her why she feels that way. She's just terribly ... (read in full...)
Am I just their cook and cleaner?
Q. I have been with this man for three years taking care of his teenage son, cooking, cleaning, helping feed and so on, with the understanding when he turned eighteen this man and i would be alone. now i find he's going to be underfoot till who knows ...
A. 2 February 2010: Genuinely, you're too good for this mess. Ultimatum time. Tell your husband something has to be done about his son, or tell him goodbye. ... (read in full...)
Why do guys confuse women all the time! Come on guys, let me know your thoughts
Q. I am so very much confused. I am in a relationship that is not the greatest and hasnt been for such a long time now. Recently i have been talking to my partners brother a lot as i lean on him a lot for emotional support and he knows this, this has ...
A. 2 February 2010: Chances are he fancies you. So be very careful. And more to the point, look at your relationship and stop leaning on him for support. If this relationship needs fixing, then start fixing it. Or end it if it can't. ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for facial herpes to be passed to the genital region?
Q. Is it possible for facial herpes to be passed to the genital region?...
A. 2 February 2010: Yes it is. ... (read in full...)
How can I let her see texting her ex is hurting our relationship?
Q. lingering ex bf this girl I am dating tells me she isn't talking to her ex. I notice her texting someone who I am certain is her ex bf while we hang out but when I ask he about her relationship with him she tells me she doesn't talk to him. wh...
A. 2 February 2010: First of all, be 100% sure that she is talking to her ex. And I do mean sure. Then, tell her you've seen her texting her ex and see what her answer is. Of course, if she still lies, then you know she's still into him and you need to get rid of her.... (read in full...)
I asked my ex out and I'm not sure if she's interested. Help!
Q. well it's simple. I asked my ex out and i'm not sure if she's interested. Ok my ex broke up with my 6 months ago as of February 5th. yesterday I asked her to go to the movies with me this weekend. At first she said yes, but at the end of the school ...
A. 2 February 2010: Usually ex's are ex's for a reason. She doesn't seem all that interested, but maybe she's taking it slow. If she still doesn't respond about the movie, then leave her alone. ... (read in full...)
Do I like him or is it because it's the month I had my abortion?
Q. i got pregnent with my ex last year and he ended it, i had an abortion and it just seemed he didnt want to bother and was not there for me, but now i have strong feelings for him again. Do I like him or is it because it's the month I had my a...
A. 2 February 2010: This sounds like loneliness to me, more than anything else. I suspect it's all to do with Valentines Day and your abortion. This isn't about love at all. Just remember one thing about this guy. He left you when you needed him most. He's not the guy ... (read in full...)
I dated a known cheater and now he has cheated on me I have trust issues.
Q. I apologize if my question is long, but you must know all the details for it to make sense. I also changed the names of the people. Thank you for listening I really need advice. . Spencer and I met last year in May,(we have been together for alm...
A. 2 February 2010: He's a serial cheat. Don't sit there deluding yourself. He'll do it again. ... (read in full...)
I dated a known cheater and now he has cheated on me I have trust issues.
Q. I apologize if my question is long, but you must know all the details for it to make sense. I also changed the names of the people. Thank you for listening I really need advice. . Spencer and I met last year in May,(we have been together for alm...
A. 2 February 2010: You have learnt a sad but important lesson here. Very rarely does a guy change. You knew he was a cheat, but you took that chance. Surprise, he has cheated. In the future, really get to know a guy before going out with him. If he is a known cheat, ... (read in full...)
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