| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
Is he keeping these past 'sex texts' as a trophy or something to get off with?
Q. About 6 months ago I found very explicit sex texts on my husband's phone. The texts were between him and his (female) boss. I filed for divorce (because of this and his controlling/bullying behavior)but put the proceedings on hold because I was ...
A. 10 February 2010: Clearly something is wrong if he's kept the phone with the texts on it. Sit down again and tell him what you found. See what he says. ... (read in full...)
I am letting my jealousy ruin our marriage
Q. Im a jelous person and i dont want it to ruin my marriage. Well i get upset and jelous if my husband give attention or talks alot to other women! I do not know why i do it... Please can someone give me advise what could i do to make it better. ...
A. 10 February 2010: Ask yourself why you feel so threatened. Have you been hurt before? Are you happy with yourself. You need to look at yourself and ask yourself why you are jealous. ... (read in full...)
Do you think my boyfriend cheated on me?
Q. One night my boyfriend an a few of his mates wen to this girl house an they stayed there all nite an most of the morning there was a few other girl there aswell,he told me who was there an i believe him,until 6 months later one of his mates let it ...
A. 10 February 2010: You need to know more facts before you can make any decision. I would suggest that you spends more time quietly checking around to find out what happened. You simply don't know enough yet.... (read in full...)
He treats me like crap, lies, and breaks up with me all the time, ... but he is a good guy at heart.
Q. It's kind of a long story but I guess you should know everything before you can really advise me. I started dating my boyfriend in June of 2008. Now it is February 2010. In that time he has broken up with me twice and we have taken a break tw...
A. 10 February 2010: No he's not a nice guy. Read what you've written. You've had numerous breaks because of him, he's called you a jerk, he's called you jealous, he treats you like crap, he lies and he talks to other girls. The list is endless. I am a nice guy, and I ... (read in full...)
She has threatened to file sexual harrasment charges against me because I don't want to become her boyfriend.
Q. i met a girl on a dateline and she wants a boyfriend but i dont want a girlfriend and she told me that she go to the law and file sexual harrasment against me because i dont want to be with her and she wont stop texting and call me...
A. 10 February 2010: God, a bunny boiler. You're in an unsafe situation here. The good news is because she's effective stalking you and blackmailing you, the evidence really won't go her way. Keep every text she sends, every letter, every voicemail. Keep everything you ... (read in full...)
Sexual partners are shocked over how wet I got. Is this normal?
Q. I'm 18 and recently tried to have a threesome with some friends (that drunk night) They both were shocked at how wet I was; even when not arroused and how smoothe my lips were. Just wondering...is it normal to be that wet or smoothe?...
A. 10 February 2010: You're perfectly normal. But don't allow yourself to be used. ... (read in full...)
My dream guy gets angry when other men call me.
Q. I just met this guy barely a month,he's my dream man. The only problem he has is that he gets angry wheneva a guy calls me,i dnt know what or how to pls...
A. 10 February 2010: That means that he's controlling, manipulative, jealous, insecure and dangerous to you. You tell him to stop getting angry with you, and that you have the right to have male friends. If he still acts this way, dump him. ... (read in full...)
I am 16 and my voice has not broken nor has my penis grown.
Q. (Mod Note - OP's own title) Well I am 16 turning 17 on May 21st cant wait for it really but.. I am planning on going out more once I get a stable job and a car or bike most probably will be thinking more and more of having sex around that age. ...
A. 10 February 2010: The best thing you can do is see the doctor to rule out any hormonal problems. The doctor has seen it all before, so there's no real need to be shy about it. But you need to see the doctor really. ... (read in full...)
Is it bad that we talk about sex? I think he is trying to get in my pants!
Q. theres this guy that i like and am getting to know.chatting.. and gong on dates with..this guy says he wants to love me..treat me like a princess etc: hes really sweet..and gentleman.. and he keep asking me if i like him and what i think of...
A. 10 February 2010: Just keep on dating as you are and see whether he can stick it out. That's the only really know whether he is interested only in sex. Continue with the dates and continue to get to know him and see what happens.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always talks about sex and treats me like an object. How can I get him to stop?
Q. I have a boyfriend who only talks about having sex with me. I feel it's disrespectful and he randomly pulls out my shirt to look down it. How do I get him to stop?...
A. 10 February 2010: Tell him straight to either stop, or you'll dump him. And mean it. Clearly if he doesn't stop, then he doesn't respect you enough. ... (read in full...)
I hate his 4'9, fat, annoying girlfriend and want him to break up with her for me.
Q. dear cupid, im really in love with this older guy! his name is jake, only he is 19. and im 14. but he's so hot and he is always flirting with me! he is my neighbor, and whenever my parents go out they ask him to watch me, and whenever he does, he...
A. 10 February 2010: First of all, you'd really be too young as you're under the age of consent. Secondly, he's got a girlfriend, and not matter how much you hate her, he is with her. Don't try to split them up, because if you do, you'll look bad, and later on he'll ... (read in full...)
My sex addiction is leaving me spirtually, physically, mentally and financialy exhausted. I need help to stop this!
Q. Im 28. A husband for 3 years. A father for 2 years. Im a sex addict. I have been for 10years. I use prostitutes. Not so long ago i confessed all to my wife who somehow stuck by me and eventually forgave me. Recently i started again. Crazy thing is i ...
A. 10 February 2010: The sexual abuse will have something to do with it. If you are serious about keeping you family and solving this problem, then you need professional help. Go and talk to the doctor. Also get yourself tested for STD's in case you've caught something.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants sex for Valentine's Day but I don;t know how to tell him that I think we are too young.
Q. im 15, i just turned 15, me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 3 1/2 months, things have moved really fast for us, we kissed after 2 days, made out after one week and started 'doing stuff' after about 2 weeks, since valentines day is coming ...
A. 10 February 2010: Just say no. ... (read in full...)
Is he just a regular horny teenage boy or something more?
Q. im 15, me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 4 months. i love hanging out with him, but it seems like whenever we go to his house he just wants to do 'things' like he doesnt even want to be with me. but i do things (not sex) with him to ...
A. 10 February 2010: You're supposed to talk and spend time together, not just do 'things' at his house. Yes, he is no doubt a horny teenager, but you need to tell him that unless you spend time together doing other things, there's no point in you being together. ... (read in full...)
He denies sending dirty pics of himself to another girl, ... but I saw them with my own eyes!
Q. Their is this guy that I had been dating for about 14 months.... I love him to Death and care about him so much. I left him about month ago due to finding dirty messages on his phone sent to another girl and messages on his computer to his ex (the ...
A. 10 February 2010: This guy is so full of crap. He sent those pictures, and you saw them. And he's still lying. You can do without him for sure. He did it once, you forgave him. Now he's done it again and he's sat there lying to you about it. Find a much better guy.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not like me to smile at anyone.
Q. my boyfriend doesn't like it when i smile at people and he told me that he doesnt like it and he always fight with me so help me what should i do? ...
A. 10 February 2010: Seriously dump him. To stop you smiling is a whole new low.... (read in full...)
I am exhausted by the intense highs and lows that come with my boyfriend! Do all couples go through this?
Q. I am so confused. Been with b/f 5 years and they've been rocky years. He's short tempered and impatient and it causes us to have alot of fights, but he is aware that his personality is very intense, and he does apologize and he's good at doing a ...
A. 10 February 2010: He might have bipolar. ... (read in full...)
Could it be? A...Soulmate?
Q. Hi, I'm Kajimaru, and I wanted to ask a question. There is a boy who I am interested in. Lets call him 'Tatsuno'. Tatsuno has everything in common with me. Even before I knew him, there was always his name in my mind...His real name, of course. So, ...
A. 10 February 2010: How very sweet. But there is more than having a few things in common to being soul mates. You need to spend more time getting to know him. A lot more time.... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend becoming agressive?
Q. My boyfriend and I live together and we both go to the same school, he's 20 and I'm 19. So the other day we were kissing on the bed, just messing around. When all of a sudden he pins me to the bed, I tought okay.. but idk.. he did it like really h...
A. 10 February 2010: Well, he might just have felt a huge amount of passion moving through him, and he did stop. But if it happens again, consider leaving. Watch him very carefully. ... (read in full...)
Am I losing interest in my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. He says he loves me and he never wants to lose me and wants me to tell him I love him but I just can't find the words. Lately I feel like I'm not as into him and I think about other guys and how my ...
A. 10 February 2010: Everyone is telling you that you can do better. And he does sound like he's really immature. I think perhaps the time has come to move on. ... (read in full...)
How do I accept the fact that she's going to mess with other guys?
Q. me and my ex have broken up from a 1 year relationship and she tells me that she loves me so much but she just doesnt think she's ready for a committed relationship yet and that she doesn't want to hurt me no more and i treat her so good, better ...
A. 10 February 2010: By cutting her entirely out of your life and moving on. That's how. If she really loved you, she would be with you. Personally, if I were you, I'd never have anything to do with her again and find someone else to love. That's what you should do. ... (read in full...)
I treated her bad and cheated on her, ... now I am losing her. How can I win her back?
Q. i am a male 32 yrs old and in a realationship for 6 years with a beutiful woman and i have 5 kids , 2 that are with her and i have treated her bad most of the time and i cheated on her last year and was so quick to have given up on us and now she ...
A. 10 February 2010: Well I won't lie to you, your chances are slim. I say that because if she was here asking whether to stay or leave, I'd tell her to leave. That said, all you can do is talk to her and show her you've changed. Tell her you will do whatever it takes ... (read in full...)
My husband treats me like a man, ...I want to be treated like a woman!
Q. Hi, well see my problem is my husband treats me like one of his buddies, like talk to me like one joke with me (depending what mood he is). And will tell me take this or carry this not like a book like heavy stuff chairs from upstairs to down ...
A. 10 February 2010: Errm, to be honest, he sounds like he's a bit too into himself. This is a guy who shouts the word 'drink' at you, and you give it to him or he gets bad tempered. This is a guy who tells you to take heavy things around, and whom you clean and cook ... (read in full...)
My mum found condoms in my dad's bag and was in tears all night. Should I tell him!
Q. I'm so sad right now. A few hours ago, my mom spoke softly to me that she found out something about my dad. She found condoms in his bag yesterday. She told me that she cried the whole night. I don't think she confessed to my dad yet but soon..she ...
A. 10 February 2010: Your mum is the one who needs to tell him what she found. It needs to come from her. The best thing you can do is be there for her and just listen. ... (read in full...)
He did not even tell me her got back with his ex!
Q. I have a guy friend that i've been foolin around with for 8 months and i really like and i wish we could be together but he has a girlfriend/babymama and when he's with me sometimes he does'nt even go home that nite...he spent time with me 4 my ...
A. 10 February 2010: I have hear this all before. If he was that into you, he would pick you. Don't fall for the male trick of telling you you're the one but still living with her. His child would be fine even if he left, as the child gets to see all the problems at ... (read in full...)
I feel to dependant on him, it's making me insecure.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months now and things are great between us but recently I've realised that I'm too dependent on him. I used to hate school and was the first to take a day off when I wasn't feeling quite 100% but since he came in...
A. 9 February 2010: By doing some other things. Start a new hobby, focus on schoolwork a bit more. Anything. The more you do by yourself, the more independent you will become. The when you do see your boyfriend, the time will be even more meaningful.... (read in full...)
Peer pressure about sex, should I give in?
Q. Ok at my age not alot of the people i know are still virgins i sort of am. but its like it dont matter. it feels like if i have sex then i wont be invisible to them anymore. mu girlfriend want to have sex but i think its abit early. but do...
A. 9 February 2010: Yes, it does matter. You're still underage apart from anything else. Wait until you're ready and of age, or you might end up really regretting it.... (read in full...)
Are we going out? Will he formally ask me out?
Q. OK here goes, I really like this guy and introduced myself to him, a shy foreign exchange student. We started talking a lot in outside his classes or the library and after one amazing conversation, we exchanged number. I initiated that. The first ...
A. 9 February 2010: Why don't you be brave and ask him? That's the only way to be sure. We could say yes, but he might say no. Only he knows the truth, so talk to him about it :). And good luck. ... (read in full...)
Cheated on, wanting him to change, and continue to give him the chance!
Q. [paragraphs inserted by mod for ease of reading.] I met this great guy in the army little under a year ago. We stayed up all night talking when we met and had every thing in common, it was perfect. We started seeing each other every day and soon...
A. 9 February 2010: He's cheated, he's lied, he's cheated some more. He's not even that into you anymore. Get away from this man. You can do so much better. He wont' change. ... (read in full...)
How can I get boys to be interested in me instead of just slaggy girls?
Q. heya, I am pretty confident and love to have a laugh. Sometimes i feel like im really not popular with boys and if i am, its because they want me as a friend. They seem to love all the slaggy girls who will do anything for them. There is this gi...
A. 9 February 2010: You don't want to attract these guys. They are only using the other girls because they are out there doing anything for the guys. Keep your self respect and just continue to be yourself. You'll meet a far better guy who won't use you. ... (read in full...)
My wife cheated on me and I think she's still with him. How do I prove my worth?
Q. My wife cheated on me and I think she's still with him. I begged her to give me another chance, but she said she didn't know if she could make us work anymore. She thinks she's in love with the new guy and has said that sex with me had become ...
A. 9 February 2010: The sad truth is that you're trying your best and it's still not working. You both need to sit down and you need to ask what you can do to make her stay, and she needs to be honest about all this cheating. If it still doesn't seem as if she's making ... (read in full...)
My husband wants me back, he says he's stopped drinking. He's had several chances, do I give him another?
Q. i have been with B since i was 19 and he was 20 . are relationship has always been a little rocky we have 2 kids and been married for 8 years i have son from a previose relationship and he never treated him like his own . he is an alcholic and i ...
A. 9 February 2010: You are in love with this new guy who has already proved he is better than your ex. I think if you go back to your ex again, you will only be let down. Yes, you have a family with him, but he can still be a good father without you being there. Stay ... (read in full...)
Are backstabbers better than being alone?
Q. Ok, this seems unimpornant, I know. But I'm really having problems with it. I feel like all of my friends are backstabbers. They don't really care about me at all, and I feel like they don't want to be around me at all. I don't know how to h...
A. 9 February 2010: Never have friends who are backstabbers. Trust me, being alone is better than being betrayed all the time. Try to make new friends elsewhere, such as clubs, or even with other students. ... (read in full...)
HELP!! I had uprotected sex after two weeks of taking the pill!
Q. Me and my boyfriend had unprotected sex on saturday night,, eventhough he didnt ejaculate in me im concerned i could become pregnant as im only on my first packet of logynon contreceptive pills. Along from this i had sickness and diarhea on monday- ...
A. 9 February 2010: There is a very small chance. It's too late for the morning after pill, so it might be worth going to the doctor and getting checked. ... (read in full...)
Are we heading back to rekindling our affair? I want it back but I don't want to look foolish if he is no longer interested
Q. I think he started flirting with me again. I am married and developed a flirtation/friendship with a single guy who happened to be my daughter's teacher last year. We moved to the next level and had sex a few times throughout the summer. He broke ...
A. 9 February 2010: If you want him, divorce your husband. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has repeatedly looked up pictures of a girl he knows. Sometimes while looking at porn!
Q. My boyfriend has repeatedly looked up pictures of a girl he knows. Sometimes while looking at porn, other times while not. We broke up over it a year ago, but I just found him doing it again recently. Does this mean he has feelings for her? I know ...
A. 9 February 2010: Porn is one thing, but looking at pictures of a girl he knows whilst looking at porn is another. You've already broken up because of this, so it's obvious to me he doesn't really care for you that much and he's really into her. I think for your own ... (read in full...)
Men have a natural hatred for me!
Q. (Mod Note - Op's own title. Text edited for clarity) can some one be a born reject.guys have always being rejecting me since i was 18 yaers old. that its is me not you routine. the rejection towards me is aggressive, they've treated me like ...
A. 9 February 2010: I think because you feel so bad about yourself, you're attracting bad guys. Sadly, bad men see underconfident women and take advantage of them. So the counselling is a very good start. You need to build up your own esteem and focus on your own life ... (read in full...)
I can't seem to read guys feelings
Q. Sounds vague but you all sound so experienced with men and women relations. I'm kinda cold and never notice these or never bother to actually..but is it possible for a guy to harbor feelings for you and yet u never see him or are in touch. is it ...
A. 9 February 2010: Yes, it's very easy for a guy to have feelings and hide them. Especially if he is worried about getting hurt. So if you like a guy, don't be afraid to talk to him. ... (read in full...)
What would be an appropriate valentine's day gift for a fwb?
Q. I'm going to be spending valentines day with my closest friend. he and I have been real good friends for 3 years but have been fwb, too, for the past year and a half. we both agree that we're closest to each other of everybody we know. he's really ...
A. 9 February 2010: You could get him a card and go out for a meal. But to get something personal might cause problems if all you want is an fwb relationship. ... (read in full...)
Is it illegal to sleep with my Uncle?
Q. Is it illegal to sleep with my muums brother who has a different mum and hes the same age as me?...
A. 9 February 2010: Yes. ... (read in full...)
I stayed up all night plotting and rehearsing revenge on my hubby for watching porn! But I watch it myself!
Q. I did a google search to see if I could find some answers to something that's been bothering me. I am 8 months pregnant, and my husband told me last night that he had been looking at porn again. We have an open relationship, and really don't keep ...
A. 9 February 2010: Well first of all you have recognized that there isn't a thing you can do since you watch it yourself, which is a good thing. I guess you feel bad because you just want to the only woman he sees as attractive. What you have to remember is that he ... (read in full...)
What would be an appropriate valentine's day gift for a fwb?
Q. I'm going to be spending valentines day with my closest friend. he and I have been real good friends for 3 years but have been fwb, too, for the past year and a half. we both agree that we're closest to each other of everybody we know. he's really ...
A. 9 February 2010: Nothing if you are just a friend with benefit. Maybe just go out for a meal or something. But if you are just a fwb, then keep it low key. ... (read in full...)
Are we heading back to rekindling our affair? I want it back but I don't want to look foolish if he is no longer interested
Q. I think he started flirting with me again. I am married and developed a flirtation/friendship with a single guy who happened to be my daughter's teacher last year. We moved to the next level and had sex a few times throughout the summer. He broke ...
A. 9 February 2010: It's not whether he's interested. This now comes down to a choice you need to make. Because at some point, you are going to be found out either by your husband or even worse, your daughter. You need to decide whether you want to work on your ... (read in full...)
He did not even tell me her got back with his ex!
Q. I have a guy friend that i've been foolin around with for 8 months and i really like and i wish we could be together but he has a girlfriend/babymama and when he's with me sometimes he does'nt even go home that nite...he spent time with me 4 my ...
A. 9 February 2010: You're fooling around with a guy who has a girlfriend and a child. What did you think would happen? You are the mistress, that's all. He doesn't love you, he was just using you. A man has a mistress so he can use her. He doesn't have her there for ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
