| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Preventing pregnancy
Q. Am I right that it's possible to get pregnant without penetration? What should I look out for to prevent these little accidents? What time about during the menstuation cycle is it least likely to get pregnant?...
A. 8 February 2010: They can be exceptional at the right times. Always make sure that you and your boyfriend wash your hands after, and make sure you use protection. ... (read in full...)
Why does he resent me so much?
Q. I'm sick of this situation. My boyfriend gives me crap about my past almost daily! I have done nothing wrong, I've been faithful, I don't flirt, etc. Yet he resents me a lot. It's like if I had cheated on him and he resented me for that. Except I ...
A. 8 February 2010: I think you need to lose him to be honest. He's clearly very insecure and has problems he needs to address before he can make any woman a good boyfriend. You've done nothing wrong, yet he is giving your grief and heartache. You're going to get hurt ... (read in full...)
I feel insecure in this relationship...
Q. We have been dating for almost three months and are close although we are at different periods of our lives. We have known each other for quite some time and work together very well. I am ten years younger than him and now just settling in conf...
A. 8 February 2010: It is still a little too soon for anyone to making complete life plans. It's only been three months, so you really need to give it more time. At six months, you will need to have your 'future' talk again and this time see what he says. ... (read in full...)
I wonder if she is going to break my heart again in this never ending cycle...
Q. About two years ago, i was in a relationship with a really great girl. i mean this relationship was so good, it was hard to believe. i truly believed this person was my soul mate. well, i was planning on asking her to marry me, when she started to ...
A. 8 February 2010: Of course she will break your heart again. She's already hurt you THREE TIMES! No, you shouldn't take her back at all. ... (read in full...)
What the hell do I say to his guilt-trips???
Q. My boyfriend and I were together for two years. Then we broke up for a year. And now we've been back together for two months (and counting). During the time we were broken up, I had a one-night-stand (which means I did NOT cheat as we were broken ...
A. 8 February 2010: For God's sake get rid of him. He's being pathetic. You weren't together, which would suggest there were problems beforehand anyway. He will always be like this, and at some point, you will become resentful towards it. You just can't stop it, and he ... (read in full...)
Preventing pregnancy
Q. Am I right that it's possible to get pregnant without penetration? What should I look out for to prevent these little accidents? What time about during the menstuation cycle is it least likely to get pregnant?...
A. 8 February 2010: Just don't get any sperm near your vagina at all. ... (read in full...)
Is it true partners who hurt you are who you really want?
Q. Is it true even if someone hurt you a lot in a previous relationship and you put a lot of your time and your energy into it and than it ends. So both of you start dating again or maybe only one of you does but is it true that you miss this person...
A. 8 February 2010: No. I can honestly say that I do not miss my ex at all, and she cheated on me on my birthday. The reason is I have met someone far better. There are a few who don't get over it. But most do. ... (read in full...)
I missed him and want to check if he's okay...
Q. I have offered my man a break as to be honest he was in a bad place with work and housing problems. The problems... met him on a dating 5 months ago and we were getting on fine. Used to text him to check he is alright but it is doing my head in as ...
A. 8 February 2010: I would suggest texting him once a week to see how it's going, then gently make it twice a week and so on. He should be clear about where he is in a few months, and if he's not then it's time to move on. ... (read in full...)
How do I bring it up to her that I'd love to try oral sex?
Q. I am in a long distance relationship and we are very sexual whenever we are together how do i tell her that i want to try oral?...
A. 8 February 2010: I think you're best off gently being honest with her about it. That's the only way she can know. ... (read in full...)
He wants me to go through with this 3-some even although I'm not really that keen!
Q. A few weeks ago my fiance started texting me asking what I thought about threeseomes. I told him right away that I wanted to do one, thinking that he was talking about a FFM threeseome. I love to pleasure him and turn him on and he has told me ...
A. 8 February 2010: You know that in your heart this is something you don't want to do, even if that fantasy in your head is still there. Tell him no and focus on your relationship. Clearly if he continues, then you need to accept it's over and move on. ... (read in full...)
Is this a man who knows what he wants and should I just live my life and see what time brings?
Q. Hello I have been dating this man, I asked about our future together he told me leave it to time but keep contacting me. Is this a man who knows what he wants and should I just live my life and see what time brings?...
A. 8 February 2010: It depends how long you've been dating him. It sounds like he's not all that clear, but if he's a good guy then it's worth giving him more time. Clearly though, further along the line (another few months), if he's still not sure you need to start ... (read in full...)
Got back with my ex because I thought he'd changed... but he hasn't!
Q. Me and a guy have been together for like a year. We met at a party and got totally involved in each other although he was in a relationship with someone else but he told me he would break up with her and that he doesn't contact her anymore.. ...
A. 8 February 2010: Leave him, and this time don't go back. ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being so jealous and why am I so jealous with my boyfriend?
Q. Hello, I am sooooo jealous with my boyfriend, and I dont know why. I Have never been jealouse with any of my past boyfriends. I started being jealous with this boyfriend at the 5 month mark I'd say. We've been together for 9 years now. And I get so...
A. 8 February 2010: This isn't about him checking out other girls, this is about your own insecurity. He can't help it if there are naked women on TV. So see a counsellor and get talking, otherwise you will lose him. There is something that is getting to you. ... (read in full...)
What do you men really find a sexy attribute in a woman you want to go long term with?
Q. Hi so I'm wondering... I'm a nice looking girl so I've been told. I've been in a long relationship now and still happy but curious so a question for the guys. What do you men really find a sexy attribute in a woman you want to go long term with? ...
A. 8 February 2010: Confidence is very sexy. ... (read in full...)
I found condoms in his jacket but they're NOT ours!!!
Q. So me and my boyfriend been together for 3 year we have a real rocky past but for the last 4 months I feel like we have really connected. Until I found condoms in is jackets. They're not ours so I confronted him about it and he gave me stupid ...
A. 8 February 2010: If they not yours, and he's given a load of stupid excuses, he's either cheating or thinking about cheating. That's a good enough reason to let him go. ... (read in full...)
I love him to pieces, but he treats me like I'm worthless...
Q. Hi guys, I hope you can give me some insight on how to deal with this. I absolutely adore my boyfriend to pieces, but he's stopped making me feel good. we used to be SO close it was sickening. A year later and hes just... blah! He doesn't ...
A. 8 February 2010: You have to end it. All the love in the world won't change this guy, and you can clearly do better. ... (read in full...)
He cheated, she forgave him, now he is cheating again in a long term serious affair
Q. A friend of mine caught her husband after he had a weekend fling with a woman he'd met through an intimate encounters website. He said he's made a mistake. They went for counselling. She forgave him. Now she's just found out that since then he has ...
A. 8 February 2010: Forgive once, never twice. He has failed her twice, and that's too many times. Tell her to walk away and explain that he has had his chances. ... (read in full...)
I fancy a work colleague but I'm married and don't know how much longer I can keep this in.
Q. I dont know what to do, I have fallen head over heals for a a woman at work, she has no boyfriend / husband, but I'm married and have been for nearly 10 years. I've told no one, not even the woman at work about this, but its eating me up like crazy, ...
A. 8 February 2010: Go home and work on your 10 year marriage, which clearly needs some work on it. ... (read in full...)
My familys not letting me have a proper relationship with a black boy?
Q. Well bassicaly this is a horrible experiance, im 17 and ive been with this black boy for about 4 months now, And he has not even met my family yet, well hes met my mum and my mums ok with it shes says it my life etc.. but my DAD and his side of ...
A. 8 February 2010: You like him, that's all that matters. So just tell your father. Whatever he says, who cares? It's your life, you're an adult and your happiness is all that matters. ... (read in full...)
We agreed to stick to oral, but I am wondering if he really wants sex after all.
Q. My boyfriend and I (He's 21, I'm 20) are really quite close. We've been best friends for about 6 to 7 years, and we started getting close just last summer. A lot of crap happened in between, but to make a really long story short, we started dating ...
A. 8 February 2010: He wants it, but he is committed to his religion. Have patience. ... (read in full...)
What to do when you were fooled once again?
Q. (Mod Note - OP's own title) Well, The story is damn long, but I'll keep it simple: I fell in love with a girl that hat a boyfriend. She ended falling in love with me. 2 weeks later her boyfriend broke up, and 3 days after that, we were coming t...
A. 8 February 2010: She doesn't deserve any words at all. Say nothing to her. Silently collect your things and just leave and move on. Just ignore her. ... (read in full...)
They all stalk me because they think I am so hot and want to be with me! But they don't answer my msn messages!
Q. okaii : so this is kiind of a weiird thing but ... its been bothering me , lol , so my brother plays travel hockey , and hes one year younger than me , so on his team there is guys his age and my age . so we have been on two hockey tourname...
A. 8 February 2010: Let them do a little chasing. ... (read in full...)
He tells me I am hot so why aren't his friends all over me?
Q. Heeey ! 3 kso i love thiis websiite ! alright , well i was seiing thiis one guy once and he is prettyy much one of the more popular kiids , and were not seiing each other anymore , but were stiil really good friiends , and idk but i thiink he stii...
A. 8 February 2010: They're his friends, so they wouldn't touch his ex. And remember that every guy has different tastes as well. ... (read in full...)
Self absorbed spot light seeking friend is being a bully.
Q. My friend is self-absorbed. If she doesn't have the spotlight for even one moment, she'll try to find a way to get it back. She'll even go as far as interrupting two people talking, to get them to pay attention to her. She brags about how all these ...
A. 8 February 2010: She's really very insecure and unhappy with herself. The way she compensates for that is to bully those around her. You could sit down and ask her what the problem is that she always has to act this way and put you down. Clearly though if nothing ... (read in full...)
I told him he has to be out by March but I want him out now!!!!
Q. I have a huge problem ! My boyfriend and I broke up I called it quits after 5months. He was living with me and my son and I told him that he has to give me half of my rent which is 400 my rent is 700 no problem he has been doing that. Latley we have ...
A. 8 February 2010: If he's paid the rent, you may have a little more trouble getting rid of him. But if you really want him out, speak to a lawyer about it. They'll tell you where you stand. And who cares if he has nowhere to go. That's not your problem. ... (read in full...)
I want to break up but he has paid for the holiday!
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for about 18 months, were both 19 years old, and I used to love him very much, but I just don't anymore. I've thought about it long and hard and I'm pretty much decided that I want to break up with him, but there's a ...
A. 8 February 2010: Well it would be a bit terrible to go on holiday with him only to break up when you get back. And if you want to break up, then that's your own business and has nothing to do with anyone else. You are an adult, you can make your own decision. If you ... (read in full...)
Do you think she is actually committed to me?
Q. Ok so here is my question. I am enaged to the woman of my dreams, love her very dearly. Recently I feel as though she is not committed to me in our relationship. I recently had a good friend's fiance ask her some questions. My boys fiance asked her ...
A. 8 February 2010: I would have to say for her to be covering her ring up and to allow men to hit on her so much is worrying. Clearly there is no reason for her to cover up the ring. And if there are other problems, which there clearly are, perhaps this is the time to ... (read in full...)
Can I take the morning pill again after a few weeks and could I be pregnant?
Q. I've just started to get intimate with my boyfriend, we haven't had sex yet but we have done oral and foreplay. 2 days ago, after I performed foreplay on him, he came, quite alot. I got it on my hand and he got it on his. I was fully clothed ...
A. 8 February 2010: There is always a chance of you getting pregnant if he has sperm on his hands and he then fingers you. If you are worried, take the pill again. Then go to the doctor and get yourself on the contraceptive pill as well. ... (read in full...)
How do I know what his sexual fantasies are, and do I tell him mine?
Q. Im 23 and my partner is 26 we have been together for 3yrs and are both madly in love but our sex life needs a bit of sparking up but how do i know what he is into, what his fantasies are and how do i let him know what mine are with out bluntly ...
A. 8 February 2010: Ask him and talk to him about it. That's the best way to find out. ... (read in full...)
Let's play a game! Who is more attractive?
Q. Im the poster of the unattractive black women post (Go back and read it. Great Posts) and I think we are not seeing eye to eye, so lets play a game. For men, choose one of the following women and explain why you would date her over the other (...
A. 8 February 2010: Kate Winslet because she has curves. ... (read in full...)
Help!!! How do I ask him out?
Q. ok so there is this boy i have liked for nearly a year now and i wrote on here a few times about "should i wait" and "i dont know how to ask him out" but im tired of waiting i just want to get it over with so how should i do it because, i dont have ...
A. 7 February 2010: You need to get to know him more, so ask him for his msn or something. Don't just jump in like your friends suggest, or you might find yourself in a mess. Ask him for msn, or give him your phone number and get to know him more first. ... (read in full...)
Should I make contact with him again or just move on???
Q. Hi everyone i would like to give thanks in advance for the advice that is given. I was seeing a guy called liam over the summer of '09 and it ended as he wanted to get back with his ex (he was still in love with her). So that ended and then i ...
A. 7 February 2010: Stop going back to ex's who aren't there for you. Liam left you for and ex, then came back and used you. Aidan just stopped contact. Quit allowing yourself to be treated this way by crap guys and move on and find a good one. Neither cared about you ... (read in full...)
I feel neglected by him...
Q. My boyfriend lied to me about going to work, he said he had work from 2 to 5 and lied about it instead i think he went to his friend's house and played video games, he came over at 5 and stayed the rest of the night acting all affectionate so i knew ...
A. 7 February 2010: If he's lying, then something is wrong. You are right to give him space to go out and have fun, but if he's lying, what's the point. I suggest you really talk to him about it and tell him you feel neglected because of the lies and the time he spends ... (read in full...)
Dating but relationship is going cold...
Q. I'm seeing someone right now and for a while things were going great. But now things have gone kind of cold. We went out for a few weekends and she had fun but now she seems to be withdrawn and have a lot of stuff on her mind right now. About 3 w...
A. 7 February 2010: I'm afraid to say that this sounds like a situation where you would be better off moving on from her. It sounds like she has a lot going on, and if that it the case to stay and be unhappy would only hurt you more. ... (read in full...)
If he doesn't talk to you or call, is he not into you or just shy?
Q. After reading 'He's just not that into you' I was wondering, from a guys point of view, are all guys like this? For instance, Is it true that if a guy doesn't like you, he won't call/talk to you.... Or can guys be shy or whatever, like girls c...
A. 7 February 2010: Some guys can be very shy. I was. But you can be sure that even the guy who is most shy will look in your direction if he's interested. ... (read in full...)
Why would this guy stand up my daughter??
Q. this question is on behalf of my 18 year old daughter. She has had some very bad experiences with dating. A couple of weeks ago she had a former boyfriend "friend" her on facebook. He initiated all contact. He is in college away from home. He ...
A. 7 February 2010: I'm sad to say that the question was already answered. He was a player, he had kind of done this before and he was already an ex boyfriend. Sadly like so many women your daughter gave him a second chance, only for this to happen. I promise not all ... (read in full...)
His ex is ruining our relationship...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year and a half. Prior to our relationship he was in a very intense relationship with a girl named Erin*, their relationship ended, six months later we got together however she will not leave him ...
A. 7 February 2010: When a man tells you that you're stropping and when he says he'd rather miss another girl than talk to you, you can be sure you can do better. Go and find a guy who isn't so hung up on the past. ... (read in full...)
Will it get easier even although his daughter is there all the time?
Q. my boyfriend of 2 years has a 2 yer old daughter, i try my hardest to be a part of her life, play with her when she is around and i know it sounds selfish but i still cant get used to being number 2. I know its never going to change, but i ca...
A. 7 February 2010: I think you know in your heart that this isn't going to work out. You're not number 2 because he doesn't love you, you're number 2 because like a good father he is putting his child first. One day when you have kids, you'll do it too. Let's face it ... (read in full...)
Why does he constantly pick fights with me? Will he ever change?
Q. It seems like my bf is constantly picking fights. when we first started dating it was that he had problems with my sexual history (which isnt bad), then it was that he didnt like me talking to any guys even friends, having a facebook account, ...
A. 7 February 2010: Here we are two years later, and he hasn't changed. In two decades, he won't have changed. He's had problems with your history, he's had problems with your facebook account, he's had problems with your clothes, he wont' let you drink and I'm sure ... (read in full...)
I feel so stupid for falling for this idiot!!!
Q. I have just found out that a guy I have been kissing and having some fun with at work has a girlfriend and that he only gets with me because I am shy, have low confidence and he feels sorry for me, I feel so stupid for falling for this idiot, I knew ...
A. 7 February 2010: Maybe he is laughing, maybe they all are. But you have honour, and that is far more important. You now know he is a two timing loser. Retain your honour by ending it with him and finding a far better guy. ... (read in full...)
Do you think people can really change? Can we really forget the past and move on??
Q. Sooo a lot has happend in the last year, in fact a lot has happend in last 6 months to be honest, so here goes - last september my boyfriend of 6 months decided to end it with me, we had been through a lot miscarriage, lies and whole lot of rubbish, ...
A. 7 February 2010: Sometimes people can change. It's rare, but they can. This is interesting because normally a man suddenly changes for the worst, where as your had changed for the better. I think you can afford to stay with him and trust him, working out problems as ... (read in full...)
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