| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Do you think people can really change? Can we really forget the past and move on??
Q. Sooo a lot has happend in the last year, in fact a lot has happend in last 6 months to be honest, so here goes - last september my boyfriend of 6 months decided to end it with me, we had been through a lot miscarriage, lies and whole lot of rubbish, ...
A. 7 February 2010: Sometimes people can change. It's rare, but they can. This is interesting because normally a man suddenly changes for the worst, where as your had changed for the better. I think you can afford to stay with him and trust him, working out problems as ... (read in full...)
Does sex ruin relationships?
Q. does sex ruin relationships? me and this girl love each other ... we had sex and we slowly drifted appart but i love her so much and she still loves me a little so would not having sex be better?...
A. 7 February 2010: You also have to talk about it. Maybe neither of you know what to do or say next. So sit down with her, tell her you feel as if you're drifting apart and tell her you want to make it better. ... (read in full...)
Everyone hates my bf - now my ex bf.
Q. I didnt see myself searching for relationship advice on the internet but im desperate. im 23 and my bf is 25 we been together for almost a year. living together under my moms roof. we both love each other alot were pretty content besides for a ...
A. 7 February 2010: They took him to jail for outstanding warrents? He was taken away because of other warrents? Your family are right! Okay, I can handle him to going to jail once. But he got so angry and out of control you had to call the police and he was then ... (read in full...)
Sex is not working out for us. Why is that?
Q. well im fat and me and this girl went to have sex... it was my first time but not her first... she was tight but not tight tight... but she hadnt had sex in like a month... she was on top and we couldnt get it in... i couldnt get fully har...
A. 7 February 2010: Sounds like you were just worried a lot to be honest. Just relax a bit more about it all. ... (read in full...)
What is wrong with this guy, ..he seems to have two faces.
Q. i met the guy called Ray(fake name) at youth club. we got to know each other little bit and bit.then we shared a contact number. we see each other once a week cuz youth club start on friday. ray is friendly,caring and funny guy when he texts ...
A. 7 February 2010: It's easy for a person to talk when they don't have to see you. It's not so easy when they do see you. I think he is shy. Why don't you ask him to meet and gently talk to him about himself. Then you'll know whether he's shy or just not interested. ... (read in full...)
I've just been given the brush off, or is it true he needs space?
Q. Met a man been together 5 months he lives 200 miles away haven't met up yet. Yes it was an online meeting. Been texting and talking over the phone. Talked to me christmas and new year and while on holiday also speak to him a lot at night. I do ...
A. 7 February 2010: Give him the space he needs, but just text him once in a while to see what's happening. You'll soon know whether he's interested, because he will either reply and more detail, or he won't reply at all. ... (read in full...)
I care about people a lot. But I'm feeling exhausted and am wondering...will anyone ever be there for me?
Q. Um, well...okay, I'm an agony aunt on this site, and I'm going through a difficult time. I like to help people. I care about people a lot. But I'm feeling exhausted and am wondering...will anyone ever be there for me? I try to help on this sit...
A. 7 February 2010: I have often found that if you give too much, you are the one who ends up burnt. It's happened to me before. It doesn't even stop me helping either. The answer is yes there is someone out there for you, because I did find someone. You're not alone ... (read in full...)
My husband cheated and called ME a psycho, now he won't leave her!
Q. My question is regarding my reaction to my husband sleeping with another woman. I found out he was seeing this woman from work and I knew he was going to her place so I kept calling and texting him all evening to find out where he was and what was ...
A. 7 February 2010: Bunny boiler actually is the term for the psycho lover, not the wife in despair over her husband. This was an attack on you because he knows he's the one in the wrong. You've not done anything wrong at all. So stop doubting yourself and be strong. ... (read in full...)
Ideas on teenage dating sites?
Q. Anyone got idea's for a teenage dating site? Im not too young to date and dont tell me to not get involved with guys cuz ive never had a bf and im ready. thxx. ...
A. 7 February 2010: The internet isn't a safe place to meet guys at your age. You don't want to end up in the arms of a paedophile. If you want a boyfriend then meet guys your age at school. But the internet just isn't safe enough for a young person. ... (read in full...)
My husband accuses me of giving him an STD.
Q. please help me. i always have pimples in my vigiena.the pimples always appeared and afther 2 or 3 day it disappeared.six month a go i married.i did not tell my husband about that . now he came to know that i have pimples in my vigiena.the problem is ...
A. 7 February 2010: Have yourself checked by a doctor. Then you'll know what it is. If it's not an STD, then show him and dump him. ... (read in full...)
Oral Sex Odour - Is it normal?
Q. hi, so the thing is that when i give my bf a blow job his cock smells HORRIBLE, like really nastly, kinda like fishy or of pee a bit..... is that normal?? thankyouu x...
A. 7 February 2010: No. Not at all. His hygiene is poor if it's smelling that bad. ... (read in full...)
My mom found my boyfriends underwear and freaked out!
Q. I asked my boyfriend if i could have a pair of his boxers, i usually used them to sleep in. My mom didn't know i had them, but she knew my boyfriend. I'm really not close to my mom, so I never told her me and my boyfriend were boyfriend and girlfrie...
A. 7 February 2010: Perhaps this is the moment to get closer to your mum? You say you've never been close, well this might be the time to try and get close to her. I don't think she will stop you if she knows he's a worthy guy. So why don't you introduce him to her?... (read in full...)
During his time of need, he reached out to his ex!
Q. We've been having problems already because of me not being able to trust him. However, he got into a car accident yesterday, he called me to be there for him; however, he contacted his ex through text messaging. It's a big thing and I want to be the ...
A. 7 February 2010: The text that says it all is the one that says 'she was the one he let get away'. That's all you need to know. This isn't about him wanting her to feel bad. This is about him wanting her back and he thought the crash would be enough. There is never ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or is my partner actually taking the piss with me?
Q. Basically, I feel my partner is taking advantage a little bit... for example, tonight, he was going out with his friends, which I was absolutely fine with, obviously! But 2 hours into the night, he says he's bored and wants to see me, which i ...
A. 7 February 2010: He's taking the piss. Play harder to get. When he says he wants to see you, say you're up to something. See what happens. If he still doesn't put enough effort into it, then get away from him. ... (read in full...)
I want to work at it and she is very negative and seems mentally already checked out!
Q. 47,wife 46 married 24 years, 3 kids 20,18,14. Recently entered AA, now sober for 2 years. Spouse says I have withdrawn and she has fell out of love with me but still loves me. said she has put my attempt to be happy 1st at her expense. I have been ...
A. 7 February 2010: Your wife is clearly going through a huge crisis at the moment. You have admitted that you haven't really been there emotionally, and have been an alcoholic, you've admitted that you've moved and she doesn't like the location, and you've said her ... (read in full...)
Does her having large sex toys mean she is not happy with me?
Q. I have been with my partner for 8 years and I have always assumed we both enjoyed sex, but I have recently found a very large dildo and 2 large vibrators which she has obviously been using, to be straight about it I feel she does not enjoy sex with ...
A. 7 February 2010: No, nothing like that. She's just after some fun for when you're not there. Vibrators can give quicker orgasms than sex can and such. I don't think it's anything to worry about. Maybe ask her about it if you're worried, and ask what you can do to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend just dumped me and I may be pregnant.
Q. im 15 an i went out with this guy for almost a year, weve had sex an the last time we wernt as carefull. i got my period after but it was a few days late and it was alight pink at first but than was a redish brown and wasntas heavy as usual. ive ...
A. 7 February 2010: The very first thing you need to do is see a doctor and find out whether you're pregnant or not. Then you can make other decisions from there. You need to know whether you're pregnant or not. ... (read in full...)
Is he stalking me... Or am I just delusional?
Q. There's a guy I know who seems to follow me around campus. We're both in college and have very different schedules. I'm not sure if he's actually following me, so I can't make any judgements. But he always seems to find me (just to talk). I have...
A. 7 February 2010: It's more likely he fancies you. ... (read in full...)
I've been in my relationship for a year now and feel I have lost my identity. What's happening to me?
Q. I feel like i lost my identity along the way , i'm not sure how or why but around 2 years ago i was -someone- i had my interests i had my bass lessons i had my books that i read i had my own style that just came so natural , people would notice me ...
A. 7 February 2010: What's happening is that you've become to dependent on your boyfriend. You have given up all your hobbies and friends to be with this guy. That's not a healthy relationship. You need to get back out there with interests and friends again and make ... (read in full...)
How can I get my mom to let me date a boy who isn't Jewish?
Q. I'm Jewish, but I'm not into my religion as much as my mom is. My mom wants me to date a nice Jewish boy but all my friends are different religions. To top it off, there are NO Jewish boys here! We have had arguments on this topic before and she ...
A. 7 February 2010: Sadly you can't just get your mother to change her mind. She is obviously well into her own ways. However, as there are no Jewish boys there it's going to be difficult. At this time, you can't make her change her mind. All you really need to ... (read in full...)
I feel like I am getting the blame for his past bad relationships. What do I do?
Q. Im in love with a man who is scared of getting hurt, when we are together we have lots of fun and do everything except have sex. He says he doesn’t trust women and doesn’t know if he ever will again. Iv been hurt too and as far as I know iv never ...
A. 7 February 2010: I think you need to talk to him about his past hurt. That will give you a clearer indication of how he feels for those that hurt him, and also give you a clearer indication of how he feels for you. He might open up and tell you everything, and then ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid he will leave me because I am too clingy.
Q. My Boyfriend just told me he is afraid that I will become too clingy. I feel as if i lost almost all of my friends because I work too much and a certain situation that makes things akward. When he told me i need to hang around my friends more it ...
A. 7 February 2010: I think your boyfriend is worried that you are becoming reclusive and isolated. He can see that you need to be out with your own friends doing things at times. It's not healthy for a relationship for you to never go out with friends, so it's ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I may have texted too much and scared him away!
Q. Met a man online. Thought he was great got on really well. Has a very stressful job. Used to text him and he wouldn't answer me so I would text him again he would answer with something like, yes still alive, just stressed and thatv would be it. So ...
A. 7 February 2010: Either he has another woman somewhere, maybe even a wife, or he's so into his work he's just not worth your time anyway. Back away and give him space, and just be aware of any of these problems arising in the future again. ... (read in full...)
My sister physically attacked me when I am 7 months pregnant!
Q. Im 7 months pregnant I still live at home with my parents and sister and lastnight I had a row with my sister and she physically attacked me. My parents are standing up for my sister saying that ' I shouldnt hide behind my pregnancy as a way of ...
A. 6 February 2010: Maybe stay with a friend or something if you can?... (read in full...)
It creeps me out that he keeps trying things when he thinks I'm asleep!
Q. I really don't know where to begin but my boyfriend does things to me in my sleep, for example last night he wrapped my hair around his penis and started masterbating. He also puts his hand down my pj's and feels around but I don't let him achieve ...
A. 6 February 2010: Erm, not to put a fine point on it, but why have you not dumped him. Seriously, it's clear he has no respect for you if he's wrapping you hair around his penis and starts to masturbate. He's just abusing you. This is how women end up being abused in ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to kiss a girl's breast during sex or foreplay?
Q. I want to ask a question about this. It confused me sometimes whenever i want to do it. The thing is that i want to suck or kiss my girl friend breast during sex or foreplay, i wonder maybe i might taste the milk during sucking or kissing her ...
A. 6 February 2010: If your girlfriend isn't pregnant or breastfeeding, it'll be fine.... (read in full...)
He never told me he wanted to be just friends! What do I do?
Q. Hello, Please help I had a relationship with a man for 1 month and 2 weeks .He told me that he is looking to settle down with a woman and that iam what he is looking for. So he always tells me to send him e-mails or call him .One day we went out ...
A. 6 February 2010: This sounds like a guy who wasn't that into you to be honest. I think if he contacts you again, you would do better to tell him that you are moving on. From what you've said this sounds like something that will never move beyond casual. ... (read in full...)
Do "mansluts" ever change or will he always be like that
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles Ok so, last night i was at a party, i had my eye on a guy on the guestlist. I went too the party and actually met him he seemed nice and after a few drinks we pulled. He is however what one may class as a "manslut" but i ...
A. 6 February 2010: You know he won't change. It takes a huge amount of will for a man to change, and at his age he will only be interested in getting with as many women as he can. If you think for one moment he will change for you, then you will get hurt. ... (read in full...)
He dumped me for another girl so why does he keep texting me?
Q. My ex broke up with me for another girl, but keeps texting me asking how I am and how school is and I don't reply coz I don't think it's fair. Anyway, yesterday he text me while I was in college saying 'Hey. did you send me an e-mail? x' and I...
A. 6 February 2010: You're being kept around as a back up for his entertainment. Cut him out of your life and move on. ... (read in full...)
The last thing I want is babies but that's all he wants!
Q. Hi, Im 27 and been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. About 2 years ago the topic of children has come up and i am 110% sure i never want to have them-i dont like children and i made it very clear to him. He however wants children and being the on...
A. 6 February 2010: The good news is there are men out there who don't want children themselves. The bad news is, your boyfriend doesn't sound like he's one of them. If you are sure you don't want children, and you think he does, it is best for you to let him go and ... (read in full...)
I'm married, will be a father in a month, but can't control my feelings for the receptionist at the gym.
Q. Hi Everyone, I am a new member on this site. I am married now for 8 months almost and we will have a baby soon. We dated for only around 1.5 years before we decided to get married. I go to this gym everyday and have started liking a girl at th...
A. 6 February 2010: Move to a different gym for a start, then get working on your marriage. If you've only been married 8 months and you're already going through this, something is wrong with the marriage. You have said your wife is possessive and doesn't give you ... (read in full...)
I consider touching oneself as a bad thing.
Q. Here we are, I and my boyfriend had a phone sex which something I wasn't even heard about before i just read somewhere and realized it yeah I'm old fashioned so what, don't you think he should tell me that he want phone sex before started it with ...
A. 6 February 2010: The idea of phone sex is that you DO touch yourself. Touching yourself isn't a bad thing. But clearly if you are uncomfortable with it, don't do it. ... (read in full...)
Can I trust my girlfriend?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend almost 14 months, she attracts a massive amount of attention from other males, a wee while ago she left herself logged into a social networking site, and when i realised she was still logged in i took a little look in ...
A. 6 February 2010: She didnt' reply to these other guys. So you have no reason to distrust her.... (read in full...)
My b/f likes to admire other girl's looks
Q. Dear Cupid, How am I supposed to feel about my fiance talking about another female? This includes whenever I'm around him/when I'm not.He has even talked about how good another girl looks when I was on the phone with him one night. He was having a...
A. 6 February 2010: If he's bragging or boasting about other women, and then has the nerve to stand there, smile at you and say "what", then he is REALLY not worth your time. Dump him and find a guy who will respect you. ... (read in full...)
I want to make sure I am prepared but what size condoms should I buy
Q. I was always told that in situations, not to rely on the guy to always have condoms. And I'm with it, being independent and what not. But I have a question. Since all guys are different, like when I compare my ex to the guy I was recently with, they ...
A. 6 February 2010: Just get averaged sized condoms. Most guys are average.... (read in full...)
Do "birds of a feather" always flock together?
Q. I met a guy over the internet, and I like him very much, we have already set a date to have a coffee or something next week... Untill now I haven`t found any big red flags,and we have been talking a lot, and everything is great so I was feeling ...
A. 6 February 2010: Chances are if his friends are involved with the police, he is as well. Stay well away.... (read in full...)
Why wouldnt my b/f give us another chance if we ever broke up?
Q. Dear Cupid, Me and my fiance have only been together for about 1 1/2 or 2 years. Of course we have our ups/downs like every body else. But, he says that if we ever break-up he will never come back to me.He said if we break up for any reason at all. ...
A. 6 February 2010: He's simply saying that if it went wrong, he would know you are not the girl for him. And he's right. If it did go wrong, then it wouldn't work out again. ... (read in full...)
Why do I always feel lonely?
Q. Is anyone happy in th world at all? I have study about loneliness and it says that people gets lonely 48 times in a year. Is that true? How come I am always lonely even with my own husband who does reject and has not make love to me in almost 14 ...
A. 6 February 2010: Your lonely because your husband is rejecting you. It's not enough to have someone around you, they need to be showing you they care for you and love you. I would suggest talking to your husband, because to have been in a marriage without sex and ... (read in full...)
Should I give my ex's best friend a chance?
Q. Hi, I'm 15 and my boyfriend and I of one month broke up earlier today. This is our second and last break-up, we broke up last Tuesday (though the whole process was three days)and we decided to get back together this past Monday. I'm hurt but deep ...
A. 6 February 2010: I would suggest that this is all way too soon for you, and that this older guy, like your ex, is more interested in using you than he is in being with you. and let's be fair, at the moment you're not really over your ex. Move on from both these ... (read in full...)
Our first time and she says she didnt feel me
Q. Me and my girlfriend had sex for the first time and she said she didnt feel me inside? I'm to small or whats wrong with me?...
A. 6 February 2010: There's probably nothing wrong with you. The fact is you're not old enough to be having sex, so your body won't be fully developed yet. ... (read in full...)
Our friend just got a new girlfriend and none of us like her!
Q. my best guy friend just got a new girl friend and none of our friends like her. she's just awful and she's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had.we all love him and would hate to see him get hurt. we were wondering if there was a way to break ...
A. 6 February 2010: You can't do anything. All you can do is wait for it to end and then be there for him when it does. People have to make their own mistakes to understand themselves. Let him make his mistake. ... (read in full...)
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