| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Smelly problem!
Q. So I'm with this guy and I really like him. I've been with him for 5 months but recently he has started asking me to do stuff with him. I don't mind as I feel ready I'm just really nervous about doing anything as it will be my first time (for ...
A. 16 February 2010: Your doctor will have seen everything all before. But you need to go because it could develop into something very nasty. Better safe than sorry. ... (read in full...)
I don’t know if we’re only playing games right now, but I know I want to fall in love with my boyfriend's friend
Q. Dear cupid, I met someone a few days ago, but we’ve been always known each other by face and name, since we go to the same college and he’s a close friend of my boyfriend. A Friday ago, my thesis group had an overnight stay at his place becaus...
A. 16 February 2010: Have you heard of the saying 'out of the frying pan and into the fire'? Basically, it means that you're jumping from one bad relationship into the arms of a man who isn't all that great either for doing the dirty on his friend. You know you need to ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to slip a note to a married lady letting her know I find her sexy?
Q. Is it Ok to slip a note to a married lady letting her know you find her attractive and sexy?...
A. 16 February 2010: No. She's married. When she's single, fine. ... (read in full...)
My brother caught me watching porn, should I talk to him about this?
Q. ok so it was about 11:00 at night it i had the week off of school due to snow and i was watching porn. all of a sudden my 18 year old brother comes in and asks what is this. i really didnt know what to say. well its been a day now and i dont think ...
A. 16 February 2010: I would just say that you're sorry he saw it then just let it slide. It probably just came as a bit of a shock to him that you were watching it, that's all. ... (read in full...)
Nothing seems to be working when I try to work on our relationship, and now we are fighting in front of our children
Q. i am 31 years old and a mother of 2 toddlers, their father and i live together. he has not had a stable job in the past 4 years. we once had an amazing connection and relationship but now it is sabotaged by a drug and gambling habit he has. i have ...
A. 16 February 2010: But he's not the great man he once was. He's a gambling drug addict who argues with you in front of your little girls. The question now is do you value your children's future. Because if you do, you need to leave. You don't want them growing up in a ... (read in full...)
I'm already worried about the size of my penis even though I am not planning on having sex until I am married!
Q. I know I might be to young to worry about this, but I'm 17 years old and I'm a virgin and I don't really plan on having sex untill I'm married, but I need an opinion from a woman, my penis is about 6 inches long when erect, is that too small??...
A. 16 February 2010: No, you're perfectly fine. That's average. So it's not small. ... (read in full...)
My wife has admitted having an affair and wants to save our marriage, but all my trust for her is ruined
Q. I recently learned that my wife was seeing someone else through people that I work with. She admitted to having an affair, and I have been on a roller coaster of emotions for about a week now. We've been married for almost 5 years, we have 2 young ...
A. 16 February 2010: Well the affair would have continued if you hadn't found out. That said, a lot of things have come out that no one likes and let's not forget your two little girls. Now you say you want to forgive her, so I figure you still love her. And if you ... (read in full...)
Do I still have chlamydia?
Q. I went to the doctor today (February 15) got treatment for chlamydia. So i took the pills. I went out to eat at the mall. Then later my boyfriend called me over and i promised myself i wasnt going to have sex. Unfortunately it happened, we had ...
A. 16 February 2010: Not only will you probably still have it, but so does your boyfriend. He needs treatment, you need treatment and don't have sex until it's cleared. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend attended a "filthy" lap dancing club..and had a dance!
Q. Hi everyone ... Please read my story , because I just dont know what to do and Im constantly privately in tears . I found out by pressuring one of the guys ( and thats a story in itself ) That my b/f of 3 1/2 years attended a " filthy " lap d...
A. 16 February 2010: Yeah, I have to say that this is a little more than an average visit to a club. I think if he was willing to do this with another woman and pay for it, you would be better moving on. ... (read in full...)
Not sexually attracted to my girlfriend anymore
Q. I am a 23 year old male who is a collegiate athlete and never had any kind of mental or physical problems in my life. No trying to boast but I am not an ugly looking guy and my gf who i have been dating for 8 months exclusively and been with for ...
A. 16 February 2010: This is proof that she is not the one and that you're not ready for a relationship. Let her go and find someone who does love her while you spend time on your own life. ... (read in full...)
I told his fiancee we had an affair out of anger!
Q. I had an affair with a man who was in engaged. He is from Italy and is here for work and his fiance is and has been in Italy which I'm sad to say made it easier. When we started hanging out he didn't tell me but after I found out it was so hard to ...
A. 16 February 2010: You have paid the price for having an affair with a man who is engaged. Granted he didn't tell you, but you could have ended it when you knew. You thought you could handle it and you've now found out you couldn't. You have also learned as many other ... (read in full...)
Why does he hate me when I love him?
Q. My boyfriend says he loves me but I'm sure he hates me :(. He loses his temper over the smallest things, and tells me I'm shit, worthless and don't care about anything. Sometimes he gets violent as well. For example he's always pressuring me to ...
A. 16 February 2010: You're right. He doesn't love you at all. A man can be measured by his actions, and his actions say that he is a violent domestic abuser who takes pleasure in hurting you. Get away from him. You can find a much better guy elsewhere. If you love a ... (read in full...)
I really think that I could fall for this guy. Problem is that he's not sure what he wants!
Q. So I'm separated from my husband. We still get along, we just realize it isn't going to work. I have this male friend who I've gotten close to since. We live in separate states, I've visited him and he's visited me. We talk all the time, he calls me ...
A. 16 February 2010: Slow right down with him and spend more time getting to know him. He seems like he's not ready for a relationship yet. Give him time, have some fun for yourself since you've just separated from your husband. Don't jump into anything with this other ... (read in full...)
He has asked me to marry him after all his revelations, I have no idea what to do!
Q. About 4 months ago, the man I had been with for about 4 or 5 months, sent me a text message and told me that he had met someone else...yes, a TEXT message! At the time, he had been out of state for about 2 month for his job, but we continued our ...
A. 16 February 2010: So here we have a man who dumped you by text for another woman, cheated on you on the night of your birthday with your best friend, and has now proposed marriage after one day. Cut him out of your life entirely. He hasn't changed at all. I promise ... (read in full...)
I'm ashamed of myself for wanting to steal another man's girlfriend, but I cant help feeling this way!
Q. having a little problem here. im working with this girl and we are extremely close. honestly I do have very strong feelings im not sure what this is I just know that I love being around her and just talking with her. but there's a problem she has a ...
A. 16 February 2010: I'm not sure whether you do love her or whether she seems like an escape from your problems with drink. You need to address that first. If she wants you, she'll come by herself. But sort the drinking problem out. ... (read in full...)
Nervous about having sex for the first time with my new guy....
Q. I'm meeting this guy again on Friday and the way things are going I think we might end up having sex. The problem is I'm generally quite tight. My ex-boyfriend used to comment on it, and it didn't bother him because I loosened up after a while but ...
A. 16 February 2010: There's nothing wrong with you at all. You're going to be fine. Just relax. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend found my fetish through my computer history, now I'm worried she will never be able to get over this!
Q. Hi, I'm in a horrible situation and its killing both me and my gf. I've been in a relationship for two years now and despite what I'm about to say, I've never been happier, I can imagine not growing up and living my life with my gf, my freinds s...
A. 16 February 2010: They can with a lot of work. It's only been a few days since she found out, so it will take a lot of work and explaining. She can get over this if she and you put effort into it. Clearly if she does leave, you will need to move on. ... (read in full...)
Torn between my ex and my new boyfriend....
Q. i went out with this guy for 4 n half years and he cheated on me twice and continuously broke my heart, In the end he left me to be with the girl he cheated on me with, that was nearly 5 years ago and since then they have had a child together. ...
A. 16 February 2010: You have a new boyfriend who hasn't hurt you and is great. You have an ex who cheated twice, has a baby with another woman who he is willing to DESERT. The truth is you need to cut your ex out permanently and leave your boyfriend and really think ... (read in full...)
Where does the loyalty lie?
Q. my friend was not loyal to me i cheated on my girlfriend and he chose to be with her by confessing to her....who is right here..........
A. 16 February 2010: You cheated. Your own fault. Don't cheat again.... (read in full...)
He broke up with me because some other guy claimed he'd had sex with me! I don't know what to do, I'm still in love with him....
Q. hi, am 18. i dated a guy for like 3 months we loved each other, and things were going fine till an unknown guy showed up and started claiming to have had sex with me on all occasions.that he should stay clear off me.initially i told him was a virgin ...
A. 16 February 2010: Well if your boyfriend doubts your word, it really isn't going anywhere. Your best bet is to move on. If this other unknown guy turns up again, tell him to clear off and warn him that you will call the police. ... (read in full...)
Can anyone help me with my doubts about counselors?
Q. Can someone please enlighten me? I am very skeptical about the role of counselors in helping with marriage problems. Several people in reply to my posts have suggested seeing a counselor to get things out in the open and get answers to quest...
A. 16 February 2010: If a person won't tell the truth when you want them to, then it's not worth fighting for because you will lose. The point of the counsellor is to get everything out in the open. All feelings and all the truth. If a spouse won't tell the truth, then ... (read in full...)
What sort of weight do guys like for a girl?
Q. Okay, i just want to know what weight guys like. im 5'2 and around 109lb.. is that fat to you guys? i mean i have curves and crap and i feel fat around my friends cause the havnt hit puberty yet and their like 75-95lb.. does it make me fat? i mean i ...
A. 16 February 2010: Your body has a long way to go before it is finished growing. And a guy will like you for who you are. Stop worrying so much and enjoy being a teenager instead. There is nothing wrong with you. Your body is going through a lot of changes and won't ... (read in full...)
He used to like me but his friends still tease him about me! What's going on?
Q. Would a guy's friends still tease him about you and make jokes about him to you if he had stopped liking you? I know he used to like me, but now I'm not sure what's going on....
A. 16 February 2010: Maybe he still likes you. Or maybe his friends are just a bit immature and this is all just males making fun of him. Those are about the only reasons really. ... (read in full...)
How can we go back to being best friends after we broke up?
Q. So my boyfriend and best friend broke up with me a month ago he is still my best friend. Any one have any idea or advice on how to get over the fact that we are no longer together and for us to go back to some sort of friendship and be able to live ...
A. 16 February 2010: You're treading down a very upsetting path if you still truly like him and you want to be friends. Because the pain won't go away, you won't get over him and he won't suddenly come back to you. If you stay friends, I think you're going to end up ... (read in full...)
Teenage confusion over 3 guys.....
Q. Heeey everyone , soo , i kinda like this one guy , and i dont think he has any idea that i do , usually he gets the girls he wants , so because he hasnt hit on me , does that mean he has no interest on me ?? should i "chase" him ? do some guys like ...
A. 16 February 2010: SLOW DOWN! :). You're a lovely girl, but to be liking three guys like this means that none of them is the right one, and that you don't know them enough yet. Spend more time getting to know all these guys before you do anything else. There are to ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend I am too young to have a baby?
Q. my boyfriends want to have a baby but im only 14 and his 13 we dont even live in the same town, i want to have his baby but not this early. i need help what should i do...
A. 16 February 2010: Tell him you're too young and that you don't have enough money and that it is illegal. Bear in mind that this guy doesn't seem like the 'one' as well. He seems to want far too much far too soon, and I think you might be better finding another guy. ... (read in full...)
Is it a good thing that he has not asked me about this note my friend sent him, or is he just oblivious to my feelings for him?
Q. I don't know what to think. This boy "Joe" is really oblivious. I mean, he's busy and everything but really oblivious. We have good chemistry and everything, but sometimes I feel like he's not interested or he just doesn't care. My best friend...
A. 16 February 2010: He might be very shy, or he might be totally uninterested. To be honest, it sounds like he's not interested. Even a very shy guy shows more interest. There is clearly only one way to truly find out and that is to talk to him. If you want to know ... (read in full...)
I nearly pass out when I go to finger her! Help!
Q. Scenario: i'm getting 'close' to a girl and I go to put my hand downstairs but my heart races, so fast that I nearly pass out. What do I do? I have serious nervous issues, it's not that i'm afraid that i'll do it wrong, i'm not sure what it is. ...
A. 16 February 2010: It's just nerves. You won't get it wrong. I would slow down a bit and maybe ask her what she would like so you know you're doing the right thing. ... (read in full...)
She and her Mother are turning me against my own family! Help!
Q. Recently I got introduced to a girl who is still in her school.She is average in looks.But, somehow she and her mother focred me into this relationship.I feel her mother has used some technique that I am totally mesmerised.It started only as ...
A. 16 February 2010: Walk away and cut all contact. You're only as memorized as you allow yourself to be.... (read in full...)
Saying anything makes my situation worse..what can I do?
Q. Hello. My issue is that my boyfriends mother hates me and he wont tell her how she is affacting our relation ship only that she has been stressing us out. When in all reality she has been making him wonder if we shouldnt even be together. Along with ...
A. 16 February 2010: Unless he tells you what the problem is, and unless he stands up for you, this relationship won't go much further without you feeling very unhappy and resentful. He's your boyfriend and he should be at least standing up for you. ... (read in full...)
Is this a rebound relationship or something else entirely?
Q. My ex and I were together for nine years and have one 5 year son together. We never got married (he never asked). He moved out on Valentines Day last year but had been emotionally detached for months. He started dating one of his patients (openly) ...
A. 16 February 2010: Cut contact. It's clear that unless you do, you're going stay hurt for a lot longer. Be brave and cut contact with him.... (read in full...)
Smelly problem!
Q. So I'm with this guy and I really like him. I've been with him for 5 months but recently he has started asking me to do stuff with him. I don't mind as I feel ready I'm just really nervous about doing anything as it will be my first time (for ...
A. 16 February 2010: Go to the doctor. You might have an infection or something. Don't feel bad or be embarrassed. Just make sure you're healthy. ... (read in full...)
Please help and suggest something about this guy I love...
Q. yesterday was valentines day. and it was all very freakn perfect! me and my boyfriend went to the movies but the problem was my sister. she came along. my mom made me take her since she was going to be all alone. now me and my boyfriend are 15 and ...
A. 16 February 2010: You're still young and from your reaction to this you still have a lot to learn about men. He is NOT the one true love. No one in the world who treats you this way is the one true love, and everyone else on here will agree with me on this. He ... (read in full...)
Will you say a prayer for us please...?
Q. Me and my fiance have been trying to conceive for 7 months.. We hope that we've done it this month.. We really do.. But i feel the need that if someone were to pray for us, for the miracle of life, then it'd help us, so please, say a prayer for us? ...
A. 16 February 2010: I pray for you that this time you find out you have a little bundle of joy on the way :). Good luck!!... (read in full...)
I need boys opinions on make up!
Q. Heya, this question is mainly aimed at boys :) is it true that boys prefer girls that wear no makeup than ones than wear quite a lot? or is it okay if we still wear a little but it looks natural? thanks...
A. 16 February 2010: Better to wear a little that looks natural that plaster yourself with it. Too much make up just makes a girl look terrible. ... (read in full...)
1 month late... BABY????
Q. ok so i am a month late. i took 2 at home pregnancy tests already. when i was a day late and 2 weeks late and they both came out negative but now im a month late and nothing. me and my bf dont use pertection. he uses the PULL OUT METHOD? i want to ...
A. 16 February 2010: Yes, there is a chance. You may have taken the tests too early. And the pull out method isn't a method either. People are usually lucky if it works. You need to go to the doctor and tell him/her you're worried. Then you will be able to find out. ... (read in full...)
Could we be brother and sister???
Q. Hi there, im only 15 and ive become really close to my friend and we are like big bro and sister. I've been told that my mum cheated with his dad before i was born and i want to know if he is my brother. my mum wont tell me and his dad wont tell him ...
A. 16 February 2010: The interesting thing is that neither of your parents will actually tell you whether or not you are related. You could try talking to the doctor and getting a DNA test?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says my work dress is too Sexy !
Q. Hi everyone .. A problem about the clothing I wear to work. My boyfriend says that the clothese I wear to work are too sexy and too revealing . BUT THEY ARE NOT! I do like tight body hugging dress / suits which suit my figure, but Im very care...
A. 16 February 2010: This is classic controlling behaviour. First he will tell you how to dress, then he will tell you what friends you can and can't see (if any), then he will slowly control everything else. So maybe move on now.
And also, if you are wanting othe... (read in full...)
Weird Ex Situation, Please Help Me.
Q. My ex has been acting so weird lately, we were hanging out and everything was good. Then she started hanging out with some friends from school and ignoring me. Then one day she came to my house with a car full of her friends. She told me she ...
A. 16 February 2010: Either her friends are making the decision for her, or she now has a boyfriend. The best thing you can do it leave her in the past. She is an ex, and is not interested. To sit there hoping she will come back is now just a waste of him. You have to ... (read in full...)
Ex texts me out of the blue, maybe he is just lonely?
Q. Today an exboyfriend got in touch with me and i havent spoke to him for a few months as it ended when he decided he was still in love with his ex. I can't help but think he wants us to get back together after telling me he'd have me as i was ...
A. 16 February 2010: He's an ex for a reason. Leave him in the past. You don't want to end up used.... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend is stuck in my head! Help!
Q. Hello all.. Just the other day I broke up with my boyfriend because he ws using me. but now I can't seem to get him out of my head! i know i shouldn't get back with him he only wants me sexually and that is not what im looking for in a relationship. ...
A. 16 February 2010: The thing about getting over people is it takes time. It will take more than a few days to get over him. Give yourself time and love, and stay strong for yourself. You'll get there.... (read in full...)
Did I really break her heart?
Q. so i have hurt a girl and maybe got her heart broken dunno and after that she doesnt want to talk to me anymore or even answer my sms, i sent her apology letter but she didnt change and still doesnt want to talk to me,, one month after i sent her a ...
A. 16 February 2010: Girls have a habit of giving men the silent treatment before attempting to make them jealous and such. I think this girl is attempting that with you. She doesn't really want you to go with anyone else. Instead she wants you to regret what you've ... (read in full...)
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