| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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My girlfriend dumped ME, but she gets pissed when I go out or leave a comment on Facebook!
Q. Hey My ex gf broke up with me two weeks ago because she thinks she should be single but still tells me she loves me, doesnt want anyone else and doesnt want me to find anyone else. She also questions me if i go out anywhere and gets jealous if ...
A. 23 February 2010: You're still clutching at straws. All she says is that she sees you back together. And given her behaviour so far that means nothing. Your best bet is to leave her out of it. All she wants is control over you. She doesn't want anything else. ... (read in full...)
Everyday I wait for a call from him, and wait and wait ..
Q. Hey Guys, Thank you for this site cuz whenever I have problem, everyone is trying to help me.. I have problem with my bf whom I havent seen him since he went to his country for 2 weeks because sickness of his granddad. I know its really hard for ...
A. 20 February 2010: Don't break up. He won't be cheating. He just needs your patience. You are his girlfriend.... (read in full...)
I wonder if my ex would have loved me more if I had been beautiful
Q. I might not be doing myself a favor by dwelling on this, but dwell I will. My ex who I am still getting over, used to tell me out of all the girls (more than ten) he's ever been with, he only fell in love with two of them. He talked about them by ...
A. 20 February 2010: No, he wouldn't. If it didn't last between all those other women, it wouldn't have lasted between you two either. I think it's more likely he's a bit too superficial for his own good. Let's face it. If he really loved those other two girls, why ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend complains and accuses me of cheating
Q. My boyfriend is STILL complaining about me being too loose down there and accusing me of cheating. I have tried desperately to no end to tighten my vaginal muscles; ben wa balls, smart balls, china shrink cream, tighten her uo sure grip gel, ...
A. 20 February 2010: You know he doesn't love you. And you know in your heart that your relationship won't change. It won't change, because this is the man he is. The man he was before was nothing but an act. Now I know you have low self esteem, and I'm sure that's ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want love, he just wants sex!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. We are both in our late 20's. One of my problems is that he wants to have sex all of the time but is not affectionate. His complaint is that our sex life has become boring. He wants to have ...
A. 20 February 2010: You need to teach him and tell him what you want from him. And if nothing changes, you'll know he doesn't care. ... (read in full...)
I know I can't make him love me but it still hurts
Q. I'm confused about my situation. I'm trying to give up but I can't What would you do? I'm a girl in love with her best friend. We have gone out before (On and off for about 4 years) But this stop last year and we became best friends. I dump him ...
A. 20 February 2010: Sounds like all you girls fancy a guy who doesn't care about any of you. You and he were on/off, so he wasn't Mr Right for you. He and your friend went out, so he wasn't Mr Right for her either. You would do better to just focus entirely on your own ... (read in full...)
He wants to come first, over my child
Q. I am a single mom with a 4 year old son. My boyfriend has a small issue of me not putting my son to bed before 9pm, so that we could have sex. We don't live together, we live 15 minutes apart. The thing is that he sometimes gets tired at 8pm and he ...
A. 20 February 2010: Of course your child is number 1. Any person will understand that. Interestingly, I do't think an early bedtime is such a bad thing, but for a different reason. If you don't have a timetable now, come the future he will not go to sleep. My mother ... (read in full...)
Doesn't he love me anymore?
Q. My husband of 5 yrs (been together for 11 yrs) has become increasingly uninterested in me and our marriage over the last 7 yrs. I'm not really sure if he is having an affair, although a lot of the circumstances surrounding us appear that he could ...
A. 20 February 2010: I'm afraid it sounds like he's not interested. It's terribly sad, of course. But you're obviously a good woman and it would be sad for you to live your life with a guy who doesn't care, when there is another out there who can love you. I think you ... (read in full...)
I have just discovered my husband is cheating with escorts
Q. Just found out my husband has been cheating on me with escorts. I still love him and want to work things out. Am I wrong for feeling this way?...
A. 20 February 2010: You need to find out why he did it, then you need to find out whether he is sorry. Then you need to decide whether or not he will do it again. Don't just jump back in. He now needs to prove his worth. Take your time understanding why he's done it, ... (read in full...)
Everyday I wait for a call from him, and wait and wait ..
Q. Hey Guys, Thank you for this site cuz whenever I have problem, everyone is trying to help me.. I have problem with my bf whom I havent seen him since he went to his country for 2 weeks because sickness of his granddad. I know its really hard for ...
A. 20 February 2010: The big secret about men is this. When we're hurting, we retreat into ourselves. He does love you. Really he does. He sent you the Valentines gift and did call. What he needs right now is for you to have patience. If his Grandfather brought him up, ... (read in full...)
My coworker having an affair reminds me of my husband's past affair and I'm hurting again. Help?
Q. I have been married for 8 years. During the first year, my husband had an affair on me. Since then we have moved forward and are back on track. It's been 7 years and I have not thought about the past until 6 months ago. I work with a girl who is ...
A. 20 February 2010: This doctor, like your husband, probably doesn't care about the woman at all. The majority of men who have affairs do it for nothing other than sex, and the mistresses frequently end up deluded and hurt. When push comes to shove, married men tend to ... (read in full...)
Love or an obsession?
Q. Can love be easily confused for an obsession?... I love my bf to death and he feels the same about me but we fight a lot and feel strong feelings of leaving one another but the same about our love. Could we be obsessed with one another, comfortable ...
A. 20 February 2010: If you're spending every moment with each other, if you're jealous when you're not together, if you're always going out together and if you're always checking up on each other, that's obsession. If you're happy, if you're spending most of your time ... (read in full...)
How can I know if my boyfriend didn't enjoy sex without asking him?
Q. How can I know that my bf din't enjoy sex without asking him...
A. 20 February 2010: I'm sure he did enjoy it. But if you are worried, what you can do is ask what his fantasies are, and ask what he would like to do with you that would make sex more enjoyable. That'll open him up a bit more.... (read in full...)
Since I have a girlfriend the thrill to masturbate is gone. Is this normal?
Q. Since I have a girlfrriend (we do not do anything sexually except hugs and kisses, we're 16 and i'm a virgin) the thrill to masturbate is gone. It's like i don't want to masturbate anymore. Is this normal? Or is it because I miss her because I ha...
A. 20 February 2010: No, it's pretty normal actually. You're more focused on her that you are yourself. You're normal. ... (read in full...)
How can you hurt someone you love so much?
Q. is it possible for my boyfriend of seven years to love me but yet he cheated on me got another woman pregnant he tells me and everyone around that he loves me but i am really hurt and scared that its just words because how could you hurt someone you ...
A. 19 February 2010: He doesn't love you. His actions say that he doesn't. Be brave and move on from him. It's more likely he's just using you. ... (read in full...)
Sweet girl with secrets, what should I do?
Q. *OPs own title* I have been with my girlfriend for nearly four years. We were very exclusive, very quickly. Early on in the relationship I found out that she had been talking to her ex on the phone regularly, and even that he had tried to talk her ...
A. 18 February 2010: I agree with you. There is a lot going on here that's too secretive, and I think before you can let it drop or confront her, you need to find out more.... (read in full...)
Am I wrong and a terrible person, or is he just as much at fault?
Q. I have a question. But first I suppose I will have to give a perhaps long back up story. My boyfriend, or ex now, have been dating for 2 months. Within in the first month we moved in together. It was soon. I typically move in that soon but I just ...
A. 18 February 2010: You're not bad. This other guy was only interested in sex. You're clearly far better without a man in your life like this. I'd just cut him. All he was interested in was sex and control. He didn't care about who you actually are at all. Everyone ... (read in full...)
Is this what younger girls are like these days??
Q. Can some of you please explain the mind set of today's young women in their early 20's? I am in my mid-30's and have recently entered the dating scene. Although I am 35, I am in great physical condition and most people say I look 25. I married my...
A. 18 February 2010: I know so truly wonderful girls my own age (early twenties) who don't act this way. Some do because they think it's normal. Don't give up, just make sure you take your time getting to know women. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend dumped ME, but she gets pissed when I go out or leave a comment on Facebook!
Q. Hey My ex gf broke up with me two weeks ago because she thinks she should be single but still tells me she loves me, doesnt want anyone else and doesnt want me to find anyone else. She also questions me if i go out anywhere and gets jealous if ...
A. 18 February 2010: Just block her and tell her to get out of your life. This is just emotional abuse. No one who loves someone treats that person this way. She's just having a power trip. Tell her to clear off and get on with your own life. You can find MUCH better.... (read in full...)
Should I trust that he won't cheat when he travels again? Or tell him to pack his bags?
Q. I am in a dilema and not sure if it is the end of the line for me and my partner. We have been together for 5 years now and during this time I have a couple of other occasions to doubt him but somthing has happened again. He travels abroad a...
A. 18 February 2010: You found texts, you then found the condoms, now you've found this. That's three chances you've given him. And that's enough. This time end it.... (read in full...)
He forced himself on me, but I love him even more now! Should I dump him?
Q. sooo this is going to be a long. ahh i dont know where to startt.. alright im 15 and my boyfriends 21. we've only been dating for almost a month on the 24th. i made it clear that i was a virgin and he understood that. he told me that he used to do a ...
A. 18 February 2010: He raped you and you won't tell your mum? Not only should you take a test, but you should also get checked for STD's and call the police... (read in full...)
I tried to make him jealous, but now he thinks I'm really with my male friend!
Q. me and my long term boyfriend had a petty argument,neither would back down. we have our ups and downs,all is fair,we are as bad as each other. i thought i would play a little game to get him jealous,basicaly,i walked past the building site he`s ...
A. 18 February 2010: Ooops. I think you may have blown it with this one. A lot of women of all ages have tried to make a man jealous, so don't kick yourself too much. It doesn't work sadly, it simply sends us away. I think women seem to think a man will suddenly realize ... (read in full...)
What are the signs that he has another girl?
Q. I talked to my crush/friend by text last night and he replyed three times. I don't think its another girl that he likes. What are the signs that he has another girl? I don't think that he lost interest in me but it could happen and I don't want it ...
A. 18 February 2010: Well stop texting him and get talking to him. If you think there is someone else, find out. If there is, then you're too late. If not, you need to talk to him a lot more and get to know him and how he feels. You won't know anything if you don't step ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a boyfriend of 5 years to refuse to go to my Aunts funeral?
Q. My aunt just died yesterday. I'm just wondering if it's wrong for my boyfriend of 5 years to not want to go to her funeral with me? This is pretty much all new to me. I have never been to a funeral or known someone close to me that has died. I am 27 ...
A. 18 February 2010: You're right to start second guessing. I'm sorry, but I get the feeling this guy might not be worth your time. He needs to be there for you. ... (read in full...)
Sweet girl with secrets, what should I do?
Q. *OPs own title* I have been with my girlfriend for nearly four years. We were very exclusive, very quickly. Early on in the relationship I found out that she had been talking to her ex on the phone regularly, and even that he had tried to talk her ...
A. 18 February 2010: Hmm. I think her jealousy and quick reaction to your suspicions are a big indicator that you're not the only guy she's seeing. I really find it very unlikely that he's just her business partner. There are a few too many things going on here. Maybe ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a boyfriend of 5 years to refuse to go to my Aunts funeral?
Q. My aunt just died yesterday. I'm just wondering if it's wrong for my boyfriend of 5 years to not want to go to her funeral with me? This is pretty much all new to me. I have never been to a funeral or known someone close to me that has died. I am 27 ...
A. 18 February 2010: Well in that case remind him that he is your boyfriend and you need him there. Sounds to me like he's happy for the good times in a relationship, but not bothered when that bad times come around. A relationship can't work if you don't accept a ... (read in full...)
How do I carry on after my partners affair?
Q. after being together for many years,i found out that my partner had been having a sexual affair with a female work colleague of his.this occurred as i was recovering from breast cancer.previous to this i thought we were happy in our life.obviously ...
A. 18 February 2010: There was a man who lives in our street who's wife had cancer, and he had an affair. Asked why by someone, he simply said that he felt alone and needed support because he was working so hard supporting his wife. Now that doesn't excuse the affair, ... (read in full...)
Would he be turned off me if iI told him the truth?
Q. ive been single for 14months i get alot of guys cos guys think am cute and sexy.. but they just want me for sex.. and obviously i didn't give in and they've all disappeared.. i like sex when am in a relationship and in love. and ive ...
A. 18 February 2010: He's more likely to think you're a gem and he'll secretly be very impressed and proud. Don't worry for a moment. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a boyfriend of 5 years to refuse to go to my Aunts funeral?
Q. My aunt just died yesterday. I'm just wondering if it's wrong for my boyfriend of 5 years to not want to go to her funeral with me? This is pretty much all new to me. I have never been to a funeral or known someone close to me that has died. I am 27 ...
A. 18 February 2010: Some people don't like going to funerals because it scares them. Some have bad memories. Some feel it's wrong to go to a funeral of a person they don't know. But I know one thing. If my girlfriend needed me to go with her, I'd go. Talk to him again ... (read in full...)
What is meant by "make my move"?
Q. Okay, before you read this, check my previous question called "How can i make a move without embarassing either of us?" or something like that. Bascically everyone has told me to "make my move", but what is meant by this and how do i go about it. I ...
A. 18 February 2010: I think you would be better asking her out to a film or something first. To ask her out straight away might make her nervous or something. Take her out for a date and if it seems like it's gone well, ask her for another and see where it leads. After ... (read in full...)
Is he intentionally being cruel to me?
Q. I'm so upset right now. My ex was brn premature, like i was, and he was born with one leg shorter than the other, and he also has scoliosis in his back, so he has a lot of pain. He found out this week that its so bad now that he might need a ...
A. 18 February 2010: Depression is like a fog. Right now he has nowhere to turn, except to you. And he is so full of hurt and anger that all he can do is vent it at you. Depression is something that needs to be faced by the person suffering. Give him space to work ... (read in full...)
How can I tell I'm in love with someone I'm not with?
Q. *OPs own title* Hi:)im a 15 year old girl, and i've liked the same guy for almost a year now. me and him are REALLY good mates (he's like my best friend) and he knows i like him, and he's recently told me there may be a chance between us. im pret...
A. 18 February 2010: You know when you're in love. You just know it. You might be in love, or you might just have a strong crush. The only real way to find out is to really get to know him, and if possible date him. If it's just a crush eventually it will wear out. If ... (read in full...)
My parents have been married 25 years and now suddenly my dad seems to be bi and cheating on my mum!
Q. Ive just found emails that my dad has sent and received from various men, and there sexually explicit. My parents have been married 25 years and now suddenly my dad seems to be bi and cheating on my mum. I have no idea whether he has done anything, ...
A. 18 February 2010: I would doubt this is something that has happened suddenly. People don't suddenly turn gay. It's more likely he's always felt this way and has only just made a move on it all. He needs to tell her, and if he doesn't, I think you should. She needs to ... (read in full...)
What if she spreads a disease to someone and I date them?
Q. So, this girl that im not really too good of friends with but talk to her, she keeps having sex with all these guys in my school. i honestly dont doubt she will get some type of disease from doing it so many times with so many diff. guys! i tell her...
A. 18 February 2010: Well, what's more worrying is that all these guys are using her. So trust me when I say you won't want to date them anyway. Really get to know a guy, spend time understanding who he is. You'll be fine. And make him work for your attention. If you ... (read in full...)
Does he love me, I wanna know, how can I tell if he loves me so .....
Q. hi, i was wondering how to really know if a guy i met last week likes me. i want a males prospective please. i met him last Thu. and the next day we went on the same mission trip. he sat next to me the whole time on the 7-8 hour rode trip. he kind ...
A. 18 February 2010: I think he does like you. Take it slow, get to know him and spend time with him. That's the only way to be sure of how he feels. You need to spend time with him and really get to know him. Then you will know the truth. ... (read in full...)
Why would she stick around with a guy who she knows is attached? And why would my boyfriend keep seeing both of us?
Q. Hi, This is a question I'm sure has been asked a million times.. but I'm sitting here distraught right now and I have to know. I'm a first-class girlfriend.. one of those extremely open, honest, caring and loving girls. One of those girls that ...
A. 18 February 2010: Because he's selfish and wants to use you both. You know you can do better. So go and do better with another man. There will always be men and women who cheat and treat people badly. There will always be men and woman who work hard and don't hurt ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant or have caught an STD?
Q. If I had unprotected sex but he didn't not produce inside me, is it possible that I can get pregnant or get an std?...
A. 18 February 2010: Yes to both. go to the doctor and get yourself checked. ... (read in full...)
Should I stop loving her because she might be a slut?
Q. I was in a relationship for four years we have been broken up for ten months and i still dearly love her but we were talking and we came across the subject of sex and she told me that she have had sex with two guys and i really love her but idk if i ...
A. 18 February 2010: No she's not a slut. Two guys in ten months is an average of one every 5 months. That's not a slut.... (read in full...)
Help - step parenting advice
Q. Am I doing the right thing? I am a step parent to a lovely 9 year old boy. My husband is away for a week and I am taking care of my stepson on his visits here. We have him twice a week and his mum lives down the road from us. His mum and her partner ...
A. 18 February 2010: I think you're a gem, and I think you're handling this perfectly. Boys find it hard to open up, so always to talk to your stepson whilst doing something, because males bond when doing something practical. You handled it perfectly. Make sure you ... (read in full...)
Why is he here with me when he has openly admitted he still loves his high-school sweetheart?
Q. Little back ground on us... My husband and I met on-line in spring 2005. We had a long distant relationship for a very short while before he asked me to move to Maine from Ohio to be with him, so I did... what did I have to lose right? I was single, ...
A. 18 February 2010: Why have the best of one world when you can have the best of two? I think you'll find that he's basing his reasoning on that. You're not stupid, you're in love. The problem is you are second best. And in truth, your love is wasted. Take a good look ... (read in full...)
Is a body fat percentage of 11% a turn off for guys?
Q. Am i too thin or muscly and does this turn guys on or off? Im 5 foot 3 inches, have a bmi of 20 but my body fat is really low at 11%. I am quite muscly because I dance and climb a lot, but is having so little body fat a turn off to guys? Also, do ...
A. 18 February 2010: You'll find any decent guy accept you as you are. You're worrying far, far too much. Guys are more likely to find your lack of confidence more of a turn off. I'm sure there isn't anything wrong. Ask most guys if they even know what BMI even means, ... (read in full...)
Is her water infection problems due to me somehow?
Q. My girlfriend keeps getting a water infection. I know its very common and easily treatable but i was wondering if it had anything to do with me. She first got one in december shortly after we started having regular sex. This was cleared quickly ...
A. 18 February 2010: It's possible. She should see a doctor, and make sure your hygiene is tip top. ... (read in full...)
We have set a wedding date and I am on probation for beating up a woman he had sex with
Q. Me and Alex have been together for 2 yrs in the second month dating i kissed another guy then around the 6 month i sent some (pics) to a different guy then we went to a club and i danced with sum1 he claims the guy was grabbing me but he wasnt ...
A. 18 February 2010: End it. This is doomed, I promise you that now. He never forgave you first time around for sending those pics, and now he has one this. This is doomed. End it and move on.... (read in full...)
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