| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
I really don't understand him, can anyone shed some light on his behaviour?
Q. ok there is this guy i like we are friends i know he used to like me. im not sure now. but lately he is doing things he never did before like always touching my leg. asks me if i would ever marry him we argue a lot and sunday he asked me why arent i ...
A. 17 February 2010: Sounds like he still likes you. If you fancy this guy, talk to him and go for it.... (read in full...)
Why is my friend ignoring me?
Q. me and my bff have known each other for a few years now. i recently asked her to junior prom and she said she's just going with her girlfriends. Now at school, she started acting different around me like she was uncomfortable and these past three ...
A. 17 February 2010: She just got a bit worried when you asked her out, that's all. Just give her a bit of space.... (read in full...)
Why would they label me a stalker?
Q. My nickname is Rocco I have talk to this girl and she labeled me a stalker the other day, meet her on myspace and we talked I got her digits and we would text I told her my school situation and she cracked a joke but then it was like we would te...
A. 17 February 2010: Her boyfriend got worried about you, so to get you to stay away she called you a stalker. You're better off not knowing this girl. Take my word for that.... (read in full...)
L love him but I think he is seeing someone else
Q. l love my boyfriend so much l feel as if he is seeing someone else he can take a week or two with out seeing me but if l ask him he keep on saying he loves me and he not seeing anyone else ...
A. 17 February 2010: You need far more facts than him just taking a week or two not seeing you. If nothing else, he doesn't seem that bothered by you. But you're basing this on too little. You need more facts.... (read in full...)
It hurts knowing she doesn't feel the same way anymore and probably never will again. What should I do?
Q. There's this girl that I've had a crush on for a long time. She knows I like her (and basically all our mutual friends), and for a brief time she liked me (I wasn't aware of this until it was too late) but I was too nervous to ask her out. She's one ...
A. 17 February 2010: You have a choice. You can either go for broke, tell her how you feel and see what she says, or you will have to slow your contact down with her so you can get over her.... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with the shape of my penis?
Q. hey everyone Im 15 and i have a... Different penis Its not like a banana like other guys and its not straight it almost looks like someones twisted it around It doesent stick out forward but kind of points to my left ear :s is there something wr...
A. 17 February 2010: You sound like a normal guy. ... (read in full...)
University break ups?
Q. Hello there Recently me and my boyfriend, of about 2 years, talked about what we were going to do for university,even though its about a year away from him actually going. we will be going to separate universities. He says that he wants us to break...
A. 17 February 2010: I know exactly what he is up to. What he wants is to be able to swan off, have sex with a load of different girls and then expect you to be sat there waiting for him when he gets back. You're right. If he did love you, he would give the relationship ... (read in full...)
How do I accept my gf's promiscuous past if I've only been with her?
Q. I've seen a few questions on here that are similar to mine, but I think mine has a special little twist on it. My girlfriend, whom I've been with for 6 years, has a very promiscuous past. Around 40 - 50, she can't remember exactly. And before her ...
A. 17 February 2010: She regrets it, she despises it, and she has given you her reason, which is entirely a truthful one. You have a girl in your hands who just wants to be loved. That's all. You have to realize that all people come with a past of some sort. Your past ... (read in full...)
Does this sound like the personality of a control freak, or a pathological liar?
Q. Hello everyone. I would really appreciate you helping me play psychologist here. I'm going to tell you about the guy I've been with for the past four years and I'd appreciate your thoughts on what you think about his characteristics, why he does ...
A. 17 February 2010: I wasn't surprised to find out that he had been juggling you with another girl to be honest. It sums him up. He had two girlfriends, he has a mother running around after him and he just seems to think he's King of the Castle. His problem is that ... (read in full...)
Lately it feels like we are drifting apart and I have no idea what is going on with him
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together so long that I really can't imagine life without him. He feels the same way and we've somehow managed to stay together going to two separate colleges for the last two years. Lately, though, it seems like we're ...
A. 17 February 2010: Talk to him and tell him you're worried that you're drifting apart and you would like to put more effort into it. Tell him you're worried and that you'd like to fix it. This is the time where you need to put effort in.... (read in full...)
Why do I "feel" pregnant?
Q. Me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time just after christmas, and the condom broke we tried having sex again and the condom broke a second time, he never came in me and we stopped right away, but i have been getting all the symptoms of being ...
A. 17 February 2010: It could be that you're so worried you're seeing things that aren't there. If you're worried, go and speak to the doctor.... (read in full...)
This is the last thing I want...but I feel jealous of his 3 year old daughter!
Q. I NEED HELP!!!! Seriously!! ok, im 21, and my bf is 23 Ok im gonna try n not make this too long.. But My situaton, me and my fiance are getting married next year, and we currently just got house together and its me, him and his 3 year old daughter...
A. 17 February 2010: The first thing you need to remember is that she is also feeling jealous of you. Remember that she has probably had him to herself, and is now worried that you are taking him away. When you look at it from her angle, you'll see that what you need to ... (read in full...)
I need some advice on how to end this nightmare
Q. I am in a bad spot in my life right now. Everything seems to be going wrong in every direction. I am divorced over 45 and not happy. I started seeing someone who what it thought was getting out of his marriage but over 2 years later he still hasent. ...
A. 17 February 2010: You need to step right back from everything and spend time on yourself. This man who is still married isn't going to leave. You're just a mistress to him. You need to stop seeing him and you need to cut all contact. Then sit down with a piece of ... (read in full...)
How do you get over losing the only person you have ever been with who made you feel comforted just by sleeping next to you?
Q. how can one reconcile with losing the only one they've ever been with who they felt unquestionably comforted by the act of sleeping next to? maybe that seems like a silly question to you, but the loss is a big deal to me and i don't know if i'll ...
A. 17 February 2010: You will find something, but it will just take time. You need to throw yourself into your own life again. Go out, meet people, enjoy doing your own thing and really just spend time loving yourself and having fun. One day you'll meet an even better ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to watch a sex video of his friend, is this bad or not?
Q. i m in a long distance and committed relationship.recently i and my bf were chatting through sms and when we were talking,he was telling me that how he knows some guys who cheat their gf by keeping hidden cameras and taking video and selling them.i ...
A. 17 February 2010: No, it's not good. And if his friends are like this, he probably is too. Dump him.... (read in full...)
I know she has feelings for me too but she has a boyfriend!
Q. hi I wrote last night , title:I'm ashamed of myself for wanting to steal another man's girlfriend, but I cant help feeling this way! too clarify I am not trying too use her to stop my drinking problem. she knows I have a drinking problem and has ...
A. 17 February 2010: It makes no difference. Unless she leaves him for you, this is something that won't happen. Because if you stole her, or she cheated with you, you couldn't ever be sure about what she would do in the future. She needs to leave him first.... (read in full...)
She has made me feel like some sort of sex maniac just because my penis touched her!
Q. So I was hanging out with my girlfriend of a couple of years watching some TV. She asked me to give her a massage. This is kind of a turn on for me, I admit. She pointed out something on TV, I wasnt' paying attention so I leaned forward. When I ...
A. 17 February 2010: There are serious issues in your relationship if your sex life has dwindled and she is making you feel bad over this. It's hardly surprising that you had an erection if you were turned on by her. I think more than anything you both need to sit down ... (read in full...)
I feel like I am second best to his ex!
Q. I am engaged. We have been friends for several years, but always had a thing for each other. He was with his ex... and I was with mine for about 4 years, but we remained friends throughout that whole time. My fiance ended his relationship with his ...
A. 17 February 2010: This is the price of taking on a man who has a connection with someone else. Of course without her everything would be perfect. But she's there, and so is his child. And they're not going away. If you think he will suddenly stop trying to keep on ... (read in full...)
Curious about moral convictions on sex....
Q. Curious about moral convictions on sex. I was raised Christian, and sex outside of marriage is a sin--period. What are others' thoughts? Thanks so much! --GG...
A. 17 February 2010: I was also raised as a Christian. But I believe that there are far worse things than sex out of marriage. ... (read in full...)
I just want to change his feelings towards me and make him stop cheating
Q. the guy i have been messing with for 7 months has finally asked me out.but i really think he has another girl on the side.but i really want him to love me and be faithful.i dont know how to make him feel that way.i want to make him jealous without ...
A. 17 February 2010: You have a huge amount to learn about men if you're asking about how to change one. The is one huge rule about men that you must never forget.
You cannot change a man. He must change himself.
You are wondering about how to change him? You can'... (read in full...)
Drop everything and go for love, or work out what is already there...
Q. hello everyone, im kinda stuck in a situation that almost everyone one here can relate to on either side. Ive been together with my wife for 6 years now and have been married for a little over a year now. We have gone though tough times and I have d...
A. 17 February 2010: It's just sad that after all the effort your wife has put in you couldn't have come clean. I'm not sure you've been putting as much effort into your own marriage as you should, and in many ways that's the problem. You cheated once, and now you're ... (read in full...)
Is my mum right - should he grow up and provide?
Q. Hi there. My boyfriend is 35 and I am 26. My mother doesn't think he's good enough for me, for very old fashioned reasons. Now I'm beginning to think she's right. Or am I being shallow? My boyfriend worked but kept dead end jobs until he was ...
A. 17 February 2010: In this day and age, it's not a man's job to provide for a woman. But I do see where your mother is coming from in a different way. She thinks he should be providing for you. I think that though it's not his job to provide for you, it is his job to ... (read in full...)
How can I get over someone that great? Will I ever find someone better?
Q. Hello everyone. For a while now I've been struggling after my first love broke up with me. It was a two year long relationship that was undoubtedly amazing. However, I made a horrible mistake and was unfaithful. After I told her, we both cried all ...
A. 17 February 2010: You've already made progress, even if it feels as if it you haven't. All you can do is continue to go out, meet new people and you'll get there and find someone else. It'll just take more time.... (read in full...)
I don't want any of these guys that are asking me out I want one that makes me excited!
Q. Hi, I'm a little bit worried because for the last few years all the guys that have asked me out or shown interest in me I haven't found attractive. I don't know if its beacuse I am obviously getting older and the dating pool is getting smaller ...
A. 17 February 2010: You are right. You can't just make yourself fancy someone. However, you can make it that you meet other guys. Start a new hobby or a class where other men are so you have something in common with them and just get to know other guys. If you want a ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he just end things with her right now if he wants to get back with me?
Q. My ex and i split 5 months ago. he had feelings for someone else so i left him. the thing is we never stopped keeping in touch, he tells me he loves me every day and recently said he wants us to get back together. however he's been in a relationship ...
A. 16 February 2010: Because he doesn't really know what he wants. If I were you, I'd cut contact with him. How long until he changes his mind over you too?... (read in full...)
He's clearly not into me any more but why?
Q. Hi Guys I AM PUZZLED?!? I was seeing a guy that I really liked for about a month and then went to Thailand for three weeks. We live 10 minutes away and the sex was amazing. We spoke whilst I was away and he said he missed me, then when i return...
A. 16 February 2010: You may have been sleeping with him too early without getting to know him, and now he's moved on. Always spend time getting to know a guy first so you know what he really wants.... (read in full...)
Friend says my girlfriend cheated, she says she didn't, who should I believe?
Q. I think my GF cheated on me while skinny dipping. I had to work that night and she went out with some friends and ended up at a pool party. According to a mutual friend that was there, as the night progressed and people drank more the swimmer...
A. 16 February 2010: Well, you're the most patient saint on this site. I mean that. I wouldn't trust her in a million years after her behaviour at that party. No way. I think your friend told the truth. I think your girlfriend is lying.... (read in full...)
I just can't take much more of this sneaking around.
Q. Please no judgment or negative comments. I have been married for about 5 years and about a year ago my husband’s best friend started to be real friendly with me. My husband’s best friend is nowhere near my type. He is not something I would be ...
A. 16 February 2010: Oh dear. He has you wrapped around his little finger. Of course he has no feelings for you. Look at the facts. He's already a player, with 5 kids with 3 women. He has another girlfriend who he is cheating on. He is doing the dirty on his best friend ... (read in full...)
Trust is a big issue in our relationship, and that's what we're lacking.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 6 months. Trust is a big issue in our relationship, and that's what we're lacking. I can’t really say that we both started off the wrong or right foot. At the very begin of our relationship, he ...
A. 16 February 2010: Hm. So him seeing someone else was fine, but you seeing someone else wasn't. And now he's moaning about it and continually throwing it into your face. There's too much hypocrisy here, let alone the lack of trust. To be honest, here we are six months ... (read in full...)
To engage or not to engage...
Q. Here's my situation. My bf and I have been together for 3 years. We're both in our mid 40's so it's not like we're young and inexperienced with life. We've both been married before and I have kids. I feel it's time to step up the relationship and ...
A. 16 February 2010: Whoa. You're putting him in an impossible situation here. I'm sorry to say but he is right. If you don't trust him, then it's not worth getting engaged. Look at it from his point of view for a moment. You don't trust him, yet you say if he marries ... (read in full...)
Hen nights/batchelor parties
Q. Ok, even though im not yet getting married because Im obviously too young right now. But I was wondering... Do the girls always go to male strip clubs and guys always go to girl strip clubs for the bachelor party or whatever? Cuz I always see that ...
A. 16 February 2010: Not always. But quite a few attend strip clubs. It's not something that always happens, and it's not something that has to happen either. ... (read in full...)
Torn between boyfriend and ex...
Q. I'm currently with my boyf for the last year and a half and I do love him, he's kind and thoughtful and secure. My ex from a few years ago is now back on the scene, we kept in touch in dribs and drabs but hadn't seen each other in years, but are d...
A. 16 February 2010: If we're being honest, your current boyfriend isn't the right one for you if you are going to meet up with an ex behind his back to see how you feel. The kind thing to do would be to leave your boyfriend now before he gets hurt and attend to your ... (read in full...)
I cant help but feel like I got myself into another horrible situation way too soon
Q. I don't even know where to begin... but I am in need of advice... Back in June I had left my fiance of 3years because I didn't feel he was the one for me, and he was becoming overly possessive and controlling, to the point where I would get "punishe...
A. 16 February 2010: Run a mile. He's just using you because you pay the bills. There is no effort from him at all. You need to move on from him too and spend some time being single and thinking about what you want from life. ... (read in full...)
I can't walk away but I don't want to be his little bitch either!
Q. Ok so here's the deal; I like this guy a lot. And I'm really comfortable with him more than any other guy. We went out twice before and he ended up lying to me both times. The first time he cheated on me and the second time he told me he loved me ...
A. 16 February 2010: Well you better walk away, or he will continue to walk over you. He has cheated twice, so he won't stop now. He doesn't care about you and he doesn't love you. Move on and focus on your life. ... (read in full...)
What can these guys online give her that I can not?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a girlfriend problem. We've been seeing each other for about a year now, but lately I've seen a different side to her. She's always been a little edgy when it comes to my exes, never wanted me to talk about them. But now all she ...
A. 16 February 2010: If she's touching herself whilst online with other guys, that's cheating. This is about her being very controlling and very insecure. You've spoken to her, nothing has changed. And she is know questioning you about everything because she is wrong ... (read in full...)
Should we have an open relationship or find the elusive spark?
Q. Married nearly 13 years. 3 children. Nearly divorced a couple of years ago but we went to counseling for 18 months, and now live together peaceably, but the spark went out years ago. I’ve been fantasizing about an affair for some time. I’ve c...
A. 16 February 2010: First up, no affairs. That will only make this a lot worse. More than anything, you both need to sit down and start working on this again. Your wife seemed bothered when you checked up on her, so she cares. Your best bet is to get back to working on ... (read in full...)
Smelly problem!
Q. So I'm with this guy and I really like him. I've been with him for 5 months but recently he has started asking me to do stuff with him. I don't mind as I feel ready I'm just really nervous about doing anything as it will be my first time (for ...
A. 16 February 2010: Your doctor will have seen everything all before. But you need to go because it could develop into something very nasty. Better safe than sorry. ... (read in full...)
I feel I am second best to her ex....
Q. My gf is still in love with her ex to the point she will cry if he dont pay attention to her in a dream, i can understand why to an extent as he committed suicide about 2-3yrs ago, we have been together almost 10mths and i am being put second best, ...
A. 16 February 2010: He committed suicide. It's not like he cheated and left her. He just committed suicide. She's probably still very hurt, she's lost and she probably blames herself. She will never get over him, as such, but she will come to terms with it. The problem ... (read in full...)
Fiance makes sex seem like a daily chore....
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for a year now. he recently just asked me to marry him...i was shocked, surprised and happy. but now im questioning it. for a year its been me begging for sex. i enjoy sex, its a stress relief and it feels good. ...
A. 16 February 2010: This is interesting. Have you ever read about all those housewives who do all that work at home, and their husbands then complain that they're not into sex. What's happening here is the reverse of that. Your boyfriend is tired. He does love you, he ... (read in full...)
I really want her back but she wants to have a large single social life, should I text her or continue to give her space?
Q. Hi, my girlfriend and i have been dating for almost two whole years i am seventeen and she is sixteen. recently she told me that she did think she wanted to date anymore and needed to find herself. She states hat she doesnt want to look back at her ...
A. 16 February 2010: She has spoken, and her words were that she wants to be single and have a large social life over a boyfriend. You're not going to get her back, and the best thing you can do now is move on. She has already moved on, since she was willing to dump you ... (read in full...)
I don’t know if we’re only playing games right now, but I know I want to fall in love with my boyfriend's friend
Q. Dear cupid, I met someone a few days ago, but we’ve been always known each other by face and name, since we go to the same college and he’s a close friend of my boyfriend. A Friday ago, my thesis group had an overnight stay at his place becaus...
A. 16 February 2010: Have you heard of the saying 'out of the frying pan and into the fire'? Basically, it means that you're jumping from one bad relationship into the arms of a man who isn't all that great either for doing the dirty on his friend. You know you need to ... (read in full...)
Smelly problem!
Q. So I'm with this guy and I really like him. I've been with him for 5 months but recently he has started asking me to do stuff with him. I don't mind as I feel ready I'm just really nervous about doing anything as it will be my first time (for ...
A. 16 February 2010: Go to the doctor. You might have an infection or something. Don't feel bad or be embarrassed. Just make sure you're healthy. ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
