| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Is he just using me when he feels the urge?
Q. I had great, great sex with a guy I've met online, and we seem to get on well. After sex he doesnt just disappear but hangs around and chats, and we both feel at ease with each other. But then he disappears! I texted him after 2 days later and s...
A. 21 February 2010: This has 'married man' written all over it. Either that or he's just having sex with lots of women. ... (read in full...)
A few to get your teeth into...
Q. Hello guys. I've been with my boyfriend for a year, it's all been well and good so far apart from two factors which are really getting to me. My boyfrined has a real issue with family. He just can't grasp it because he never really had one....
A. 21 February 2010: This is all linked into the same thing. First up, a man will never open up until he himself understand how he feels. Which is why he won't open up to you or see your family. He doesn't really know how he feels about it all. All he knows is it feels ... (read in full...)
Hanging out with a shy guy- does he want to be friends or date?
Q. I met a guy two weeks ago from a dating site. He invited me to go out with him and his friends. I had a fun time and he was attractive and nice. I didn't feel much of a spark but we also didn't have any time alone together, so I was willing to ...
A. 21 February 2010: I think you're best asking him. Usually when a guy asks you to meet his mates he's looking for something a little more serious. No harm in asking him how he feels and whether he'd like to just go on a date with you. You'll soon know where you stand. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's father is horrible! Should I stay with her or let it go?
Q. Help! im 17 and have girlfriend who i think is the best. and we've been going out for 5 months now. It's all going pretty well but 1 things holding me back with her. Her father! I had heard horrible things about him before i started going ou...
A. 21 February 2010: Yes, stick with it. He's just a controlling bully. I think you'll find her mother is probably terrified of him, not happily married. She'll nearly been 18 if she's the same ages as you and will be able to make her own decisions. Just be there for ... (read in full...)
She left me to find herself. Should I stay with her as friends or try and get her back?
Q. My girlfriend and i broke up a week ago. She told me she wanted a break to find herself. She has recently started seeing another guy. She said she wants to be friends with me still and cant imagine not talking to me.She has told me how she is ...
A. 21 February 2010: You're better off moving on from her. It was a lousy excuse for her to break up on. ... (read in full...)
Am I too young for a 17 year old boy?
Q. Im 14 year old girl and I like a 17 year old guy and he says he likes me but says I'm too young. Am I too young?...
A. 21 February 2010: He's told you the truth. You are too young for him, because if anything like sex should happen, he'd go to jail. Respect yourself and continue to focus on your own life for now. Your Mr right will come alone.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is in Canada and I feel like I have been forgotten!
Q. I feel really bad but, I am really jealous of my boyfriend and selfishly hurt. I want him to have fun with his new experience in Canada and meeting friends and all that jazz it's just, he's having so much fun that he doesn't have any time for me and ...
A. 21 February 2010: Get back on the phone to him and SAY to him (not text) that you feel like this. Tell him you feel neglected and that you wish he would just speak to you more. Tell him exactly how you feel. Then see what his reaction is to you. If he's still not ... (read in full...)
Being opposites used to be great, now our relationship is falling apart!
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for over a year, but only had 'title' for eight months. We are complete opposites, but in the beginning that was the best thing because we learned from one another's experiences. We both used to party once in a while, ...
A. 21 February 2010: This is the problem with opposites. It's true that opposites attract, but not that they stay together. You need to have things in common with a partner other than sex. You've now found that you've since you've moved away and it's just the two of you ... (read in full...)
I wish we could reverse roles so she would know what it feels like to be cheated on
Q. How do I React? My girlfriend came out to me that she’s been speaking to another guy for the last two months. She’s met up with him couple of times too. She told me that the reason she never picked up when I called her was because she was o...
A. 21 February 2010: You're not over acting at all. In fact, you've been very kind to her. My girlfriend cheated on me on my birthday, so I cut all contact. She tried for ages to get back in contact. But there was no way I as ever going to let her back in. Anyway, I ... (read in full...)
I couldnt talk online due to power failure but she thinks I was ignoring her
Q. i loved with one girl with whom i just talked in the phone. she knows that i love her and she too loves me but couple of weeks ago she called me online but there was no electricity because of which i could go but she thought i ignored her, plez help ...
A. 21 February 2010: If she is getting worried about this one little thing, then you need to worry about whether she is worth having as a girlfriend. That's not love. That's a bit controlling and a bit obsessive. Don't waste your time explaining it over and over again. ... (read in full...)
She still think's I'll do anything for her, but I wont
Q. alright so I have an ex girlfriend problem like many people do as well. This girl has most definetely got my heart for all the wierdest reasons. But About a month and a half ago we broke up because she wanted to be single or didnt want to be very ...
A. 21 February 2010: You can't make someone change. She has to change herself. That means you are better off moving on from her. If she wants to be single, her loss right? Be brave and move on. Don't be her doormat, because other people who are more important will lose ... (read in full...)
How honest should you be without risking losing a relationship?
Q. So i just have a basic question. I understand and am all for honesty in relationships, and believe honesty is always the best policy. So if you love someone so much and you dont ever want to lose them, are their limits. And of course its not ...
A. 21 February 2010: It depends on what that one thing is. From my point of view, if that one thing is something very serious, you need to tell that special person. Because if that one thing is serious and it's going to hurt that person, then perhaps they're not that ... (read in full...)
I am finally pregnant, how come we are not more excited?
Q. Hello Aunts and thank you in advance for any advice. Well Im 24 years old my husband is 27 and we have been married for 2 years. Well this week i found out I am pregnant this will be the first child for both of us. I was shocked to find out I was ...
A. 21 February 2010: I think you sound shocked more than anything. People take pregnancy in different ways. Sometimes a person hears that they should be jumping around. You're nervous. Your reaction is in fact more normal than anything else. Also, remember it has been a ... (read in full...)
On facebook I messaged a guy, but he never responded
Q. I message this guy on Feb 11 from facebook right, and he haven't response to it.I message him because we would just both stare at each other without smiling or even speaking, and I thought maybe if i message him it would break the ice. He even ...
A. 21 February 2010: Don't take it personally. He either didn't respond because he just didn't know, or he didn't respond because he's not your Mr Right. This is the problem with sites like facebook. They take everything away from the real world. If you like him, try ... (read in full...)
We are flirting on facebook, could he be interested in me?
Q. So, This guy my sister used to talk to and never dated but just really were close, added me on facebook and we started talking. We flirted and it was cool. I used to have a major crush on him lol. But he has a gf and they dont really see each oth...
A. 21 February 2010: First of all, you're a bit too young (you're under age and in school), secondly he was close to your sister (that could add problems further along), and thirdly, he has a girlfriend. Three good reasons not to bother with him. You don't either want ... (read in full...)
I focus on the negatives but want to make my relationship work
Q. The story (I'll try to be brief)... My boyfriend who I loved and was crazy about, broke up with me around April 2009 after being together for several months. We had been dating long distance for a few months prior to the break up, as he was away o...
A. 21 February 2010: I didn't mean to be so blunt. but I thought if I was you'd see the light. You'll be able to fix it so long as you address the times you were hurt before. Good luck. ... (read in full...)
I'm almost 40 and want another baby..when does menopause start?
Q. problem. im 39 and soon will be 40. im dying to have a baby again. my youngest child is 13. im capable and got enough income to provide for a new baby. the problem is im scared. does anybody here can give me advice. i dont know if im still capable ...
A. 21 February 2010: You should see a doctor. They can give you the best advice. The menopause starts at different ages for different women.... (read in full...)
He has hit me and his ex told me he was abusive...how do I approach it with him?
Q. I just found out that my current boyfriend who has been suffering from depression and unemployment hit an exgirlfriend (a few years ago) of his multiple times, 'for no reason'. I've asked him if he's ever raised his hand to another woman an...
A. 21 February 2010: You don't tell him a thing. You leave. You now know what is coming if you stay. You will end up dead or very injured. Leave. ... (read in full...)
First time sex... I don't know whether I should do it or not.
Q. Hi, my question is on first time sex and its not going to be easy to answer, but basically I was wondering whether I should do it or not. I know this must sound a little odd, but I was watching a Family Guy episode last night (don't knock it, it a...
A. 20 February 2010: If you were ready, you would be very sure of yourself. If you wish to wait, then wait. The right guy will understand.... (read in full...)
Everyday I wait for a call from him, and wait and wait ..
Q. Hey Guys, Thank you for this site cuz whenever I have problem, everyone is trying to help me.. I have problem with my bf whom I havent seen him since he went to his country for 2 weeks because sickness of his granddad. I know its really hard for ...
A. 20 February 2010: Don't break up. He won't be cheating. He just needs your patience. You are his girlfriend.... (read in full...)
After doing some research I've discovered my ex was a narcissist
Q. Hi all I'm looking to hear from people who either have had a personal experience with a narcissist or have some psychological experience and can give me their opinions. So I've spent the majority of my adult life with, from what I've read, is ...
A. 20 February 2010: He sounds like a spoilt brat to me. Narcissists are far more extreme in their ways. They create a whole new persona for places like work. And he would have moved you in with him and then controlled you. His boss would never have fired him because ... (read in full...)
The married man I love pretends to be busy and wont talk to me
Q. Im in love with a married man who is 10 years elder than i do. I had recently broke up with a guy.. soon after my break up this man came in my life ( we knew each other even before my break up but we got close to each other after my break up) This ...
A. 20 February 2010: He's not pretending to be busy. He really is busy. He has a child and a wife. You were a mistress. That's it. You have learned a lesson. Married men are off limits. Cut contact and move on.... (read in full...)
Since he cheated my life has never been the same
Q. I'm at breaking point and so is my partner. I don't know what to do anymore. He cheated at the begining of our relationship and I have obviously not dealt with it. My anger has grown to such a point that I don't know if it will ever get better....
A. 20 February 2010: This is something that should have been seriously addressed when it happened. I think the only option you have left is counselling. And if that doesn't work you will have no choice but to leave. I don't think there is anything else he can do to make ... (read in full...)
By accepting my wifes affair am I just prolonging the inevitable?
Q. Hi , i have been married for 12 years but this year i found out that my wife was having an affair . We are trying to work things out but she still wants to keep seeing the other man . I am not happy about this and at the moment it has been left that ...
A. 20 February 2010: You're second best. Why would you want to be second best? no one deserves this treatment. She doesn't really love you at all. Find a woman who does love you. Don't waste your time. ... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend but I am jealous of my male best friend's girlfriend
Q. I was in love with my best friend for 2 years or more, but then i just realized that he didn't actually love me as a more than a sister. So i tried to get over him and i did for a while and fell in love one of my friends and he asked me out one ...
A. 20 February 2010: No he doesn't have to know the truth. If you tell him the truth, your friend who told you won't like you, and your best friend won't like you either. Focus on your boyfriend. Don't say anything to your best friend.... (read in full...)
I got drunk and made out with another guy, and now feel guilty
Q. Ive been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. Right now were doing long distance and i see him every month and a half or so. i was basically with him all the time for the first month, then left for uni, came back and had a solid month with him, we ...
A. 20 February 2010: Given that a lot of people know about it, there is a high chance that someone will tell him. It would be better coming from you than from somewhere else. Things like this get around very easily, even of the other person is far away. He will find out ... (read in full...)
I feel I don't have friends anymore
Q. Hi, I'm 28 and I just realised that I don't really have any friends anymore. I have lived in my hometown all my life and had loads of great friends there. One best friend in particular, moved 200 miles away and he was like a brother to me. H...
A. 20 February 2010: You're just not meeting them yet. You're doing all the right things. Start another hobby or something, then you may have more in common with a few other people. You'll get there, it'll just take a bit of time. Don't worry. ... (read in full...)
He tells me about his beautiful girlfriend but never talks about his wife, could he be interested in me?
Q. I just want to know whether this married man loves me or not.. We've been good friends for sometime now.. we have shared almost everything.. he had a child few months back .. we both like each other.. more than friends.. to be frank i look good ...
A. 20 February 2010: No, not at all. He's just after using you like he uses this other girl and his wife. Don't go near him. ... (read in full...)
I read my boyfriends texts and now my world has come crashing down
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend now for neally 6 months, and I've trusted him untill now. Yesterday I was bored and I know it was wrong of me but I had the urge to see his texts. In saved messages I saw a text saying 'well you can see...
A. 20 February 2010: Slow right down. That could have been anything. Do you even know who it was sent to? At this time, you need to trust him. Cheating always comes out in the end one way or the other. But there is nowhere near enough proof of anything here. At all. ... (read in full...)
I agreed to move town when married but now I have changed my mind
Q. Hi can anyone give me some advice? I live in Wxxxxxm with my parents and my fiance lives in Wxxxxy which is an hour and a half away, we've always said that I will move in with him once we get married next year, but lately Ive change my mind and I ...
A. 20 February 2010: I think this is more about nerves. It's a big step for your both, especially you if you are moving away. Bur realistically, it's going to be very hard for him if he has his career. You should sit down and be honest. Tell him that you have been ... (read in full...)
Since my boyfriend cheated I don't feel anything during sex
Q. l think l have a problem about my sex life cos every time when lam having sex l don't feel anything at all this thing is started about 3 months ago when l found my boyfreind sleeping with other woman...
A. 20 February 2010: Well I'm hardly surprised you're not feeling anything. I'm a guy, but I know this. If a woman's head is not into sex because she has other things on her mind, she won't feel anything. He cheated on you, of course you're not going to feel anything if ... (read in full...)
He is rude and mean and in love with somebody else
Q. I have this friend.. And he is, well Just to get down to my point. Full on Emo. But I love him! (: I am the COMPLETE Opposite from him. But, we're like best friends:) -- I don't know wether my feelings for him, Are more then a friend. I want to fall ...
A. 20 February 2010: Well, you're a nice girl. But your love is completely wasted on him. He's rude, mean to you and you've spoken to him about it and nothing has changed. That's not a friend. You would do better to pull away from him. ... (read in full...)
Can I ask her to wait 18 months until I return?
Q. Okay so this is kind of weird. I'm a architect, lesbian and from manchester. 7 months ago I got talking to a girl on facebook (i didnt know her she's from london) she's gorgeous, we really clicked, and was talking every day for hours. I had a ...
A. 20 February 2010: She's said she will wait for you and has said she loves you. If she loves you and only wants you, there is no selfishness about asking her to wait for you. She wants to wait. So trust her and go for it with her. Because if you don't and she does ... (read in full...)
I want my ex back, she loves me but has married the father of her first child
Q. I am in love with my ex, who is the mother of my daughter, and who is also married. I am at a complete loss as to what to do. She tells me that she still loves me and wants to be with me, but I dont know if I should believe it. We split because I ...
A. 20 February 2010: Don't believe a word. You don't know that she won't use you. If she wanted you, she would have ended it and come back to you of her own accord. Don't fall for it. You'll never be able to trust that she won't do it to you. Instead focus on your own ... (read in full...)
I focus on the negatives but want to make my relationship work
Q. The story (I'll try to be brief)... My boyfriend who I loved and was crazy about, broke up with me around April 2009 after being together for several months. We had been dating long distance for a few months prior to the break up, as he was away o...
A. 20 February 2010: You're going to lose him again. He had to break up with you because you were starting those arguments and he didn't feel like you loved him. He said he tried to make it work. Maybe he did. You need to realize that he broke up because of this kind of ... (read in full...)
I am a touchy feely guy but sometimes she will turn her face away
Q. Im 16 years old and i am in a relationship with my girlfriend, she is 17 years old. we have been going out for almost 6 months, and i love her to bits, we are both emotionaly happy and in tune with each other but whenever i go to slide my hand down ...
A. 20 February 2010: You're coming on too strong. When a woman does that it's a clear sign she doesn't want it. Have patience with her and respect her, or you will lose her.... (read in full...)
Was she snogging for my benefit or did I over react?
Q. Hi, just want an opinion on this one. I was out last night and my ex was there. We don't really talk much these days but she is the sister of one of my friends so we will occasionally bump into one another. I went to the toilet and she was s...
A. 20 February 2010: It might very well have been malicious. But let it go. She's an ex and the worst thing to do is dwell on an ex. ... (read in full...)
I am considering dating while pregnant to someone else
Q. I met a wonderful amazing guy early last year and we hit it off really well. I thought he might have been the one cos we clicked so much. He sadly had to call us quits fairly early on in the relationship because he had very serious issues he had to ...
A. 20 February 2010: Well you actually sound very sensible, even if you don't think you are. You're right, you made a mistake with a man and now you have to fix it. So well done in that respect, and I wish you all the best there!
I think it's worth talking to the guy ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if a nice lady wants more than just a friendship?
Q. I am single man attracted to a lady with 3 kids. I have not dated her yet but have been talking with her off and on for about 6 weeks now. I have mentioned to her that kids are resilent and they are good to have around sorta my way to let her k...
A. 20 February 2010: Women and compliments are like fire and water. They love compliments, but they find accepting them much harder. Just because a woman is told her blouse is pretty won't make her believe it. But don't stop trying. Continue to compliment her as you ... (read in full...)
Sometimes I wonder if she even wants to be with me ...
Q. my girl and i are together and she says she has no patience for nobody and sometimes she gets mad at me and for me its like for no reason i dont like upsetting her but i also dont want her to act like that so much...and sometimes she dont even act ...
A. 20 February 2010: Ask her why she has little patience with no one. And listen. It could just be that she's so worried about being hurt she puts on this front. Ask her about it and really listen to her.... (read in full...)
I wonder if my ex would have loved me more if I had been beautiful
Q. I might not be doing myself a favor by dwelling on this, but dwell I will. My ex who I am still getting over, used to tell me out of all the girls (more than ten) he's ever been with, he only fell in love with two of them. He talked about them by ...
A. 20 February 2010: No, he wouldn't. If it didn't last between all those other women, it wouldn't have lasted between you two either. I think it's more likely he's a bit too superficial for his own good. Let's face it. If he really loved those other two girls, why ... (read in full...)
Everyday I wait for a call from him, and wait and wait ..
Q. Hey Guys, Thank you for this site cuz whenever I have problem, everyone is trying to help me.. I have problem with my bf whom I havent seen him since he went to his country for 2 weeks because sickness of his granddad. I know its really hard for ...
A. 20 February 2010: The big secret about men is this. When we're hurting, we retreat into ourselves. He does love you. Really he does. He sent you the Valentines gift and did call. What he needs right now is for you to have patience. If his Grandfather brought him up, ... (read in full...)
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