| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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His penis won't stay in!
Q. Hi, this is to anyone who can help. I have recently started dating a new guy and we have had sex twice and had a problem. When he first inserts his penis for what feels like 10 mins it just wont stay in. He was on top and when we got going we ...
A. 17 February 2010: Perhaps he's thrusting too much. It really is nothing to worry about at all. So don't stress. ... (read in full...)
He claims he loves me but won't leave his long distance girlfriend.
Q. It's been just over a year since I found out the guy I was dating had a girlfriend. We had gotten pretty serious, exchanged the I love you's etc. Then, one night I stopped by unexpectedly and caught him on the phone with this woman. She does not ...
A. 17 February 2010: Sorry, but you're the mistress here. He's not going to leave her. He could leave her any time he likes. Unless he leaves her, you don't stand a chance. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't make eye contact during sex. Any guy's opinions?
Q. My bf used to eye connect with me atleast once during sex now its like everytime i try to get that one connection he closes his eyes or puts his face on the side of mine. i have alot of different thoughts to what this might mean, but i want to her ...
A. 17 February 2010: Not to put a fine point on it, but he might just be focused on having sex. Either that or he's a little embarrassed to make contact whilst he's doing it. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about at all. ... (read in full...)
He flirts with my best friend! How can I deal with it?
Q. How do i stop being jealous of my ex boyfriend flirting with my bestfriend?...
A. 17 February 2010: I think you need to cut contact with him as much as possible. Limit everything you can to avoid being near him. And also spend some time on yourself as you try to get over him.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend spent more on his ex than on me!
Q. hello I was wondering if someone can help me. My bf had an ex who he was with two years and he spent over thirthy thougsand pounds on her to make her happy and he doesnt spend that much on me...does that mean he doesnt love me as much? He spent ...
A. 17 February 2010: It means he's probably broke or that he is worried about spending that much on a woman again until he is sure the relationship is going somewhere. Have patience and see where this all leads. ... (read in full...)
Is my ex boyfriend over me? Or is he just acting like it?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me last Friday, and we decided to still be friends (even though I still have feelings for him) and I've tried talking to him about what went wrong and talking about the good times we had in the beginning. But he's told me ...
A. 17 February 2010: Sorry, my first answer was sent to early. What I was saying was that he has made it as clear as he can that your relationship will go no further than just friends. I think he wants you as a friend, but is clear nothing else will happen. You need to ... (read in full...)
Is my ex boyfriend over me? Or is he just acting like it?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me last Friday, and we decided to still be friends (even though I still have feelings for him) and I've tried talking to him about what went wrong and talking about the good times we had in the beginning. But he's told me ...
A. 17 February 2010: He has told you that you need to move on and let it go. And he has said he can't be happy with you. He can't be clearer. ... (read in full...)
How to set it straight to a man who is overly sexual?
Q. I met a guy online. He's going through divorce. His divorce isn't finalized yet. He's a US citizen but has international business in Filipine. He came to CA to visit me and took me to Seattle for a week. We did make out, but didn't have sex. ...
A. 17 February 2010: He sounds like a man who just wants sex and nothing else. He doesn't seem to care much for the trail of women who are hurt. I think you might be better finding someone else to be honest. ... (read in full...)
How do you break up with someone you don't want to hurt?
Q. I am with a guy that I love so much, but he is 22 and im 23 and he has so much to learn about relationships and is so immature when it comes to certain things. Hes selfish in bed, we have never been on a date (we also live together)he doesn't make ...
A. 17 February 2010: You can't 'not hurt someone' when breaking up with them. All you can do is sit down and tell him that you don't feel it is going any further, and that it's best to break up. Be clear, concise and calm. No emotion. You just have to do it as quickly ... (read in full...)
Have a new boyfriend but now my ex is back in the picture! What can I do?
Q. well it all really started last year. i finally got my first boyfriend. things were going great until summer came around. one day me and him went to the beach for our friends' birthday party. well the whole time we were there we got to tlk like ...
A. 17 February 2010: Your ex is an ex for a reason. It wasn't working out. Leave him in the past. As for this new guy, think very carefully about whether you want to be with him or not. Maybe you would do better to spend time alone and work out what you really want.... (read in full...)
She moves very fast...should I run?
Q. So... I met this girl online on a dating chat site. The kind where you have your own avatar and walk around a virtual world and etc. We have been together on this site for about... 2 weeks give or take. spending upwards of 8 hours a day with each ...
A. 17 February 2010: Big Red light, flashing with several alarms. 2 weeks is way too soon to be talking about love and a baby together. You've not even met in person! This requires a lot more time before you go any further. Be careful. ... (read in full...)
He told me he just wants to get laid and not have to work for it! Should I leave him to find someone better suited to me?
Q. Ok so I have been dating a 22yr old guy now for about 7-8months and I am 23. Our sex life had not been very exciting so I finally got the courage to bring it to his attention recently. He only ever is either on top of me or me on top of him, those ...
A. 17 February 2010: He's lying. He won't change, he's just saying that. If he was going to change, he would have done before. Leave him.... (read in full...)
She had sex with other guys while we were broken up! This bothers me! Help!
Q. About six months ago, I broke up with my fiance, high school sweeheart and first girlfriend. A couple of months later, we still weren't talking and I missed her as a friend but was too stubborn to admit it. I then got into a bad relationship with ...
A. 17 February 2010: You and your ex didn't work out before, and you won't now judging by this. Remember you broke up with her, so she was entitled to do what she wanted. I just think you're walking straight back into a mess. ... (read in full...)
Am I financially looking after my ex?? My new partner seems to think so!
Q. I am seperated and filing for divorce. I left over 2 years ago. I have numerous assets in many forms. I have numerous trusts. The family home is in a trust. I had built a small fortune while with my soon to be ex wife. I have been trying to get a ...
A. 17 February 2010: No disrespect to your new partner, but she is living in a dreamland. You were married to your wife and you have children with her. That means you have to pay maintenance whether anyone likes it or not. You're not looking after your ex, you're giving ... (read in full...)
Should I take her back after all she put me through?
Q. Hi, this is a long story but here it goes. I met this girl almost a year ago (we were both 20 years old) and we became really great friends for 4 months. I ended up asking her out and we hit it off after a slow start. She ended up telling me she ...
A. 17 February 2010: She is an ex that clearly has issues she needs to deal with before she is suitable for anyone. Of course her being raped is terrible, but at the same time before she can be a suitable girlfriend, she must attend to that and at least come to terms ... (read in full...)
My Prince Charming says he'll only stay with me if I give our baby up for adoption.
Q. Hi, i am 18 years old, i am having a baby, i am 17weeks today, me and the father are together but he says he will be with and stay with me if i give the baby up for adoption, and if i keep it he will leave, I am stuck in a rut and im not sure what ...
A. 17 February 2010: He's not Prince Charming if he's forcing you to do this. He's not. If you put your baby up for adoption, in a few years you will really resent him for making you do it. No decent boyfriend would put the woman he loves in this position. Ever. He's ... (read in full...)
GF cheated - kick her to the curb, am I over-reacting?
Q. I am so hurt right now. My GF cheated on me and the guy she cheated with has pictures of the event. Even more embarrassing and adding insult to injury is the fact that she let him take her anally, which she has never allowed me to do even thoug...
A. 17 February 2010: Ask her why she cheated. Then decide. You need to know her reasons. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend can't perform in bed as good as he thinks he can.
Q. I just started having sex very recently.My Boyfriend and I have had sex a couple times and everytime it was bad. I cheated on him with a friend who I asked to teach me how to ride and perform fellatio and some other basic positions and the sex was ...
A. 17 February 2010: Well, if you're cheating on him to learn and if you're dreading having sex with him, end it. You don't love him, otherwise you wouldn't have cheated and you wouldn't be dreading sex with him. End it because this is going nowhere.... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and just found out my husband have been cheating for two years!
Q. I have been married for almost 7 years and I am 8 months pregnant. We have two daughters and a baby boy on the way. Three months into my pregnancy I found out my husband has been having an affair with a co-worker for two years. She is almost 20 ...
A. 17 February 2010: Of course this couldn't have come at a worse time. Though this may sound mad, don't be too quick to throw the towel in on this relationship just yet. You're pregnant, and you have two other kids. I'm not saying stay just for the kids, because if ... (read in full...)
He told me he just wants to get laid and not have to work for it! Should I leave him to find someone better suited to me?
Q. Ok so I have been dating a 22yr old guy now for about 7-8months and I am 23. Our sex life had not been very exciting so I finally got the courage to bring it to his attention recently. He only ever is either on top of me or me on top of him, those ...
A. 17 February 2010: You know where you stand with him. He doesn't care about anything but himself. Dump this man and find a better guy. There are guys out there who do put effort in.... (read in full...)
Do I go to the American embassy to get the ball rolling in plans to migrate to NY from the UK
Q. Who do i go to help me get the ball rolling with plans to migrate to new york. The American embassy? i have no idea how to set up accommodation there what to do job wise i just know that that is where i want to live! i'm 18 and i would like to be ...
A. 17 February 2010: I would suggest the first thing you do is speak to someone at the embassy to see what you have to do to qualify. Please don't be put off if they say that it won't happen yet. I tried to emigrate to Canada, but they won't take me because of lack of ... (read in full...)
There is a chance my girlfriend could be pregnant, is there anything I can do or say to help?
Q. I have been seeing this girl and she thinks she might be pregnant, I did what i thought was right and reminded her that I love her and that no matter what happens i will be there for her, is there anything I can do or say to help? she says i keep ...
A. 17 February 2010: The first thing that needs to happen is that she finds out whether she is pregnant or not. There isn't anything else you can say or do until you know for sure whether she is or not.... (read in full...)
Why has he started talking to me again all of a sudden?
Q. What would make someone that you like start talking to you again? He wasn’t talking to me online for a long time he wouldn’t text or talk to me on any social network. I haven’t did much in that time I only gave him a present for Christmas and gave ...
A. 17 February 2010: Maybe he likes you and just wants to get to know you more. You need to think whether it's worth getting to know him or not. If he's hurt you before, be careful. If not, why not get to know him and see where it leads.... (read in full...)
Catholic girls are supposed to be saints, but I have ended up getting pregnant at 15
Q. Ok im 15 and pregnant.. But Im also Bi.. but Idk what I should do.. because I was raised to be a Catholic girl... Catholics are supposed to be "saints". I need advise, but dont need to be judged.. Please help?...
A. 17 February 2010: No one is perfect. You've made a mistake, and at least you're trying to fix it. Religion is often used and abused by others. Don't worry about that. Just speak to a doctor and ask for advice on what you should do from him, or maybe from a ... (read in full...)
I don't enjoy sex anymore, will this cause problems in my relationship?
Q. I think I need help sometimes if I'm having sex with my lover I don't anything and I thing that will cause problems into our relationship I don't know what to do...
A. 17 February 2010: It will cause resentment. You need to find out about your own body and experiment a bit more so you know what works for you. The longer you do it but don't enjoy it, the more you will become resentful. Then you might not want to do it, and he will ... (read in full...)
Does a relationship goes with money or not?
Q. Hello everyone, i have a problem. there is one girl. am older than her. am 23 and she's 18. we met on the internet. we are planning to see each other. we supposed to see each other on valentine day but she disappointed me. when am calling her, she's ...
A. 17 February 2010: I think this is a girl you need to avoid. Sounds to me like she's after money and nothing else. Cut contact. ... (read in full...)
I'm scared my insecurities will ruin my relationship, how can I overcome this?
Q. hi, i am 19 years old and i have just found the most perfect guy for me, i have never felt like this before and i know he is the one for me. i have completely forgotten that other attractive guys exist because i only have eyes for him. howeve...
A. 17 February 2010: You need to find out why you feel so insecure. Has someone hurt you, or deserted you? Once you know why you you feel so insecure about this, you'll be able to understand yourself more and you'll be able to fix the problem. Look very closely at ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him that this has hurt my feelings?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. Due to a compulsory year abroad as part of my uni course we have been in a long-distance relationship since October. I thought so long about whether I should go or not because I knew I would find ...
A. 17 February 2010: No, you're not. Sadly he's still a young guy, and perhaps doesn't see you as the priority. I think you should gently speak to him again and just say that you're a little hurt he spent all the money and didn't see you. See what his reply is and ... (read in full...)
Am I just fooling myself trying to believe that he is not cheating?
Q. I have been married for 5 years. Husband is from a different counrty and speaks excellent english. We have had a great relationship I thought. I have been back and forth from the US to his country and last year when i returned to his country, I ...
A. 17 February 2010: I'm sorry, even with all this I am still sure that he's cheating. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has caught me flirting online, and now he hasn't spoke to me for over a month!
Q. question to the guys. my boyfriend of four years has caught me flirting online. its not the first time and we always broke up because of it. i never cheated i did it for a laugh when he was at work,i did text them but never met any. i denied it and ...
A. 17 February 2010: But you've done it before and broken up because of it. He's given you another chance and you've still done it. You lied to him as well. Stubborn isn't the word. Hurt is. You flirted with guys online and you texted them and broke up. You've continued ... (read in full...)
Does he find me sexy or is he only touching me because he would feel bad turning me down?
Q. The other day i went cinema with a group of friends i sat next to my ex, we flirt with each other but he's a bit hesitant and says he would never want to take advantage of me so he pulls back sometimes. Theres nothing wrong with friends flirting he ...
A. 17 February 2010: He is your ex. He is an ex for a reason. It didn't work out before. If you continue with this, you'll end up used and hurt. ... (read in full...)
Am I just fooling myself trying to believe that he is not cheating?
Q. I have been married for 5 years. Husband is from a different counrty and speaks excellent english. We have had a great relationship I thought. I have been back and forth from the US to his country and last year when i returned to his country, I ...
A. 17 February 2010: You found the condom, you found the texts, you found the pictures of the woman posing by his car. Seems to me like he's cheating.... (read in full...)
For the guys: Is it a turn off for a woman to talk about her ex?
Q. Hi, my question is re talking about exes to new guys. I met this guy once and up til now we chat on msn at times ... but i made the mistake of talking about my ex who behaved very very badly ... it is still on my mind. Anyway this guy said to me ...
A. 17 February 2010: He has put the reg flag up that if you wish to have a relationship with him or anyone else, it's best to leave your in the past. He wasn't out of order and he clearly really likes you to have been so polite about it. He is worried that if something ... (read in full...)
We've only recently got engaged but I don't know if I want to be with him anymore
Q. hi well iv been with my boyfriend 2 years and we have a daughter together who is 11months old the thing is we keep arguing and i feel like im beginning to hate him i do love him and we got engaged a few months ago but im not happy anymore and i feel ...
A. 17 February 2010: End it now. This isn't going to work out if all you've done is argue, end it and get back together. He's not Mr Right. ... (read in full...)
How do I confront him and tell him how I feel? After 5 months of feeling this way I cant take it anymore!
Q. Hiya, Back in september, i posted a question on here about my attraction to my college friend called 'Im Stuck Between My BF And my College Friend' and how i already had a boyfriend.( I would just like to take this time to thank those people w...
A. 17 February 2010: You need to tell him how you feel now, before this other girl makes a move. There is no use in you sitting around waiting for him to give a hint. He's a man. He won't. You made the step of ending it with your boyfriend in September, which was a ... (read in full...)
What should I text back to him? I only suggested we go out more as a couple rather than staying in all the time and he has reacted really badly!
Q. a guy i met on plenty of fish website.. on out 1st time seeing each other we went for a Drive..but he wanted to come and hang out at my house i said no. he says he wants to come to my house and chill with me cos he has no money to take me...
A. 17 February 2010: Read the signs. He wants to use you for sex. Find a better guy.... (read in full...)
Will he please me or keep teasing me?
Q. I'm having an affair with a man who's been married for 16yrs. I'm not proud of it but, I can't stop myself.. I get near him and I'm instantly heating up and wanting him more and more. We have had 8 encounters set with his boundaries,he won't put ...
A. 17 February 2010: Because he's laughing at you. He's using you as far as he can and is just laughing at you and his own wife. Chances are he won't give you what you want because he knows what you want and prefers that you are his toy that he can play with. ... (read in full...)
Could you consider what happened to me as rape? I never actually told him to stop.....
Q. Saturday night I went out with some friends from work. After the bars, we went over to one of their houses for an after party. At about 4:35 I went to hang out with one of the guys alone. (No intention of sex, just wanted to make out). We were d...
A. 17 February 2010: You never told him to stop, so the law will say that you consented. However, since this has had such an effect on you, the best thing you can do is seek counselling and make sure that you are safe in the future. You need to seek counselling so you ... (read in full...)
My husband has left me for another woman, and now each time he visits his kids she wont stop calling him!
Q. My husband left me with another woman.were married for 10 yrs.and we have 2 kids.it's was hurt for me specially to my kids,he visit my kids sometimes but the problem is every time my husband is with our kids his mistress keeps on calling in ...
A. 17 February 2010: It's not your problem that his mistress continues to call. It's his problem. I would have a rule if he is in your house with your kids that if she rings more than once he has to leave. Don't be treated badly either. When he treats you badly, tell ... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend get another girl pregnant?
Q. so me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 yrs and 3 months off and on. when we broke up he slept with another girl. she is now going around saying shes pregnant with his baby but she slept with other people after and before her too. her ex told ...
A. 17 February 2010: There is only one way to find out and that's with a DNA test. However, I think you and he have serious issues if you are on and off and he is sleeping around so quickly. Seems to me like this is a doomed relationship. ... (read in full...)
I really don't understand him, can anyone shed some light on his behaviour?
Q. ok there is this guy i like we are friends i know he used to like me. im not sure now. but lately he is doing things he never did before like always touching my leg. asks me if i would ever marry him we argue a lot and sunday he asked me why arent i ...
A. 17 February 2010: Sounds like he still likes you. If you fancy this guy, talk to him and go for it.... (read in full...)
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