| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
Should I keep trying to call after the fight?
Q. My GF and I (4 years, getting shaky) had a fight via Instant Messenger (don't ask) a few days ago. I called her immediately after with no response. I waited a couple of days and called her again, today--no response all night. What's the dea...
A. 24 February 2010: Wow. I would take your side since she CHEATED and made promised that she's not kept. Come to think of if, end it anyway since she's probably cheating again anyway. There are far better women out there.... (read in full...)
We have been together 2 years but she wont give up her boyfriend because she wants kids of her own
Q. ok i have a girlfriend who also has a boyfriend. me and her have been going out for just about 2 years now and now want her all to myself. i have tried to tell her that i dont want to share her with anyone anymore but she said that she wants k...
A. 23 February 2010: My advice is to get away from her. She wants kids? Why not from you? And if she always wants a man in her life and thinks that kids are the answer, that's a really big Red Flag. Run a mile.... (read in full...)
I enjoyed our day of sex at the hotel despite both of us being in relationships, but now he has become distant. Was it just the thrill of the chase or did I not live up to his expectations?
Q. I am soooo confused! After a lot of flirting, sexting, and finally making out, I slept with my co-worker. He pursued me for a long time, I was supposedly this dream of something he could never attain. We spent an entire day together at a hotel. ...
A. 23 February 2010: You have paid the price. He never wanted you for anything other than sex, and now he's had it. Go home to that husband you claim to adore and work on your marriage. Your co worker doesn't care about you at all.... (read in full...)
Can we ever get back what we had or am I just wishing?
Q. i have this problem i have a kid with a man when i was 18 he didnt see the child again till he was 10 we slept together again now we are going to where he lives again for the first time in 7 years. to make the story short i cheated on him is why we ...
A. 23 February 2010: You're not going to get more. He's just going to use you for sex. I think you are better off focusing on yourself. ... (read in full...)
Has shaving given me a rash or have I caught an STD from his pre-cum?
Q. I recently decided to shave my vagina to see how it would work, especially since my bf and I became sexually active. The first time I shaved it was all good, when I shaved it again and rash has started to form and its really itchy. My boyfriend and ...
A. 23 February 2010: It could be either. Go to a doctor and get checked. And for God's sake stop having unprotected sex. ... (read in full...)
How can I cheer her up and show her I do trust her?
Q. Hello well Me and my girlfriend been dating for 2 months and we're having a really great relationship right now, then one day I ask her will she ever cheat on me? She said no, but she said "what would you do if I do? never know right?" well then i ...
A. 23 February 2010: You've got a lot to learn about woman and relationships. The number 1 thing on the list is never ask a question that's this silly. You asked her once, and she answered. Then you asked again the next day and she got annoyed. Then you actually tried ... (read in full...)
I told her how I felt about her and things have become weird between us, will things ever improve?
Q. I recently told feelings to my friend who is engaged (She lead me on, she is a very good friend of mine, and I have always been there for her when she needed me), after telling feelings to her she said that she does not want to talk to me, then ...
A. 23 February 2010: Don't contact her at all. She's engaged, and to tell her how you felt at this point was a dangerous move. Give her all the space and let her contact you. ... (read in full...)
I have not had my period this month, does this mean I am more likely to be pregnant?
Q. i have had my period twice last month in January and this month in February i havent yet to get my period dose that mean i more likely to be pregnant...
A. 23 February 2010: If you've been having unprotected sex , there is always a chance.... (read in full...)
Can I wear the same jeans again for a third date or will it look bad?
Q. I am seeing a guy i met online for a 3rd time..he seems really open and interested..we met saturday night for a drink and then he offered to go to dinner and then we got another drink afterwards at a different place and then he drove me home..and he ...
A. 23 February 2010: If he's wanting a third date, then he likes you already. From a male point of view, I'd say that he's more interested in you than clothes. Chances are he won't notice something like jeans. He'll be more interested in you. ... (read in full...)
Whenever he has a relapse it really weighs on my mind, how can I cope with these feelings?
Q. I have a friend who I am very close to. He is a drug addict, but often times stops using 'for good', with the help of rehab or 12 step programs, only to relapse eventually. Each time this happens, my heart sinks and I do not like the way he acts ...
A. 23 February 2010: It is clear now that he won't change. Addictions are very hard to beat, but if all he is doing is going and failing, knowing that you'll still be there, then it's time for you to move on from this friend. I know that's hard, but it will be much ... (read in full...)
He said he could feel the same way about me, but now he is with my new best friend!
Q. Hello, I'm Jodie and I'm fifteen. I moved schools at the start of January and I've started to chalk into my friendship groups. But there is a boy there that I would say I am now very fond of, and maybe even love if I thought about it enough. I to...
A. 23 February 2010: I think he was letting you down gently. And if you're only fond of him, then he's not the guy for you anyway. It will be hard for you, but as long as you continue with other friendships and just throw yourself into your own life I'm sure you'll be ... (read in full...)
How do I ease my feelings of guilt?
Q. So,I did some bad things. i been dating my boyfriend for over a year now . .well for a few months i was seeing another guy.what i mean by that is that i would hang out with him. without my bf knowing. and just talk. i didnt think i was cheating bec...
A. 23 February 2010: In a way, you did cheat. This was more of an emotional thing than it was physical. but stop spending so much time dwelling on it, because your boyfriend will soon pick up that something is wrong. And you are right, if your boyfriend found out he ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex and now she is pregnant
Q. ok so my boyfriend of about 7 months cheated on my with his ex. they had sex and now she's pregnant . I can honestly say he was my first love so I can't hate him . but I'm mad at him . I can't get over the fact that he cheated . I need advice o...
A. 23 February 2010: You need to move on now, before you get hurt even more. This isn't something you will really be able to cope with at this time. Now should you. He has cheated with an ex, which means he still loves her, not you. He has got her pregnant, which means ... (read in full...)
I feel so helpless, my boyfriend has had to leave to continue access with his daughter
Q. This is a difficult one. Me and my partner have recently seperated but still love each other very much. We had been together for 6 years and lived together for four. I have 2 daughters and he has one that lives with his ex. His daughter had been ...
A. 23 February 2010: He is being blackmailed by his ex and won't stop it. That's the problem. He won't lose his children, because he can take her to court and get access. Unless he stands up to his ex, you and he, or he and anyone else don't stand a chance. He's just ... (read in full...)
Should I keep trying to call after the fight?
Q. My GF and I (4 years, getting shaky) had a fight via Instant Messenger (don't ask) a few days ago. I called her immediately after with no response. I waited a couple of days and called her again, today--no response all night. What's the dea...
A. 23 February 2010: Give it another couple of days, then if she hasn't responded send a letter to her. If she still hasn't responded after that, let her do some running after you. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend dumped ME, but she gets pissed when I go out or leave a comment on Facebook!
Q. Hey My ex gf broke up with me two weeks ago because she thinks she should be single but still tells me she loves me, doesnt want anyone else and doesnt want me to find anyone else. She also questions me if i go out anywhere and gets jealous if ...
A. 23 February 2010: You're still clutching at straws. All she says is that she sees you back together. And given her behaviour so far that means nothing. Your best bet is to leave her out of it. All she wants is control over you. She doesn't want anything else. ... (read in full...)
DOES he have another woman and is playing games with me?
Q. I recently made a post regarding my situation about my 35 year old guy who acts like he has a curfew. I tried asking to go to his house and he did give me excuses and he still has not spent a night yet, and i do feel like he has a another women ...
A. 22 February 2010: I remember your post. Always measure someone by their actions. He tells you he loves you, but his actions say that he is using you. If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you, no questions asked. He would just be with you. As it is, he's ... (read in full...)
Addicted to an affair - how can I break free?
Q. I've been involved in an affair with an man I've known for over a year now. I am so attached to him, but when I rationalize it I realize I'm not in love with him. It's more like an addiction... and I want to break free from this. I've tried to ...
A. 22 February 2010: Delete his number, delete his email. Delete everything. The moment you get a call from him, tell him it's over and put the phone down and delete the number again. I assume he's the one that's married and you're not. If that's the case, he is not in ... (read in full...)
Heartbreakers...??
Q. Please i need help.... my boyfriend says he is still in love with his ex girlfrnd, even when she clearly told him she was not in love with him... he says he can't fall in love with me because he believes all ladies are heartbreakers. He said he is ...
A. 22 February 2010: You already have lost him. He's still in love with his ex and says that you are effectively the same as her. Until he faces his own problems and moves on from her, he will be useless as a boyfriend to you, and it's actually unfair of him to have you ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being a jealous girlfriend so I don't lose my boyfriend?
Q. I have low self esteem and feel extremely inadequate to be with my extremely accomplished boyfriend. Because of that, I am a very negative person and it is draining him, literally. He is positive and loves me very much but me being so negative and ...
A. 22 February 2010: There is a reason somewhere in your past that you are like this. You are right, you will lose him if you continue like this. You say he IS a booty man and that Brazil is full of booty. That's just an opinion of yours. He obviously cares about sex, ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend broke my trust; should I try and work it out or leave
Q. Ok at the start of my relationship my girlfriend cheated on me 6 months into the relationship. We broke up for about 4 months. Well we got back together on some rather strict rules, since I did not know if I could trust her she was to share all her ...
A. 22 February 2010: Money doesn't prove a thing. She could give it to you all. but she would still treat you badly, and she might still cheat. You have given her the chances. Let her go. ... (read in full...)
Should I feel so docile on these antidepressants?
Q. Hi ya I wrote on here a while ago asking advice. I now need more advice. I have started taking antidepressant at the recommendation of my doctor. But for the first week and a half i felt like all i could was just think about the problems. Now two ...
A. 22 February 2010: These are some of the side effects of anti-depressants. I think its worth going back to the doctor and telling him what has happened with the depressants, in case he can change them or something.... (read in full...)
How can I get my ex to start liking me again?
Q. I have a few things that I have been wondering about. Me and my ex dated for 5 months then broke up in november, we pretty much spoke everyday and were on again off again relationship until now. we have also been fighting a lot. She told me she ...
A. 22 February 2010: Trust me. Let her go. There is no way to get her back as a friend at this point.... (read in full...)
I don't know whether I should ask him if I have done anything or just leave him alone
Q. Hey just after a bit of advice. I met this guy about 6 months ago after seeing him around a bit. At first he was really keen texting me etc and went to his house a couple of times after meeting up out (didn't have sex though). Then he started to ...
A. 22 February 2010: Either attention for his ego, or he's just keeping you around in the hope you will have sex with him. But you know that since he is often with other women so you know he's not interested in commitment. ... (read in full...)
When we have a fight my boyfriend prefers to spend time with his friends instead of talking it out with me
Q. my boyfriend is almost perfect and we have great time.. sometimes he is the one how seems to love me more and he treats very nice to me.. BUT when we have a fight he becomes incurious and he seems that he doesn't really cares to work it out soon...
A. 22 February 2010: Welcome to the world of men. Lean this lesson. Men will not talk about problems until they are in the right frame of mind. It's not cruel, it's just the way we deal with problems. From his point of view, he will be hurt and angry and he has to ... (read in full...)
We stopped our affair because others began questioning our relationship... but neither of us wanted to stop
Q. I can't have her but I can't stop thinking about her. We had a friendship that turned sexual over the summer. It was wrong and crazy fun at the same time. It was something I never thought I would do, and I fought my feeling for as long as I could. ...
A. 22 February 2010: I always have a motto about people who don't leave their partners, then stop the affair and go back to the partner. They didn't love you in the first place, and you were nothing but an emotional rock. She used you to solve the problems with her ... (read in full...)
Should I just forget about my ex and go for his friend?
Q. Hey guys.. I just got my heart shattered on valentines day... My boyfriend cheated on me... And he told me on v-day;( but I still love him and care about him deeply... I don't know what to do.. Cuz know i'm starting to fall for his friend.....
A. 22 February 2010: What a lousy boyfriend to cheat on you and tell on you Valentine's Day. That's almost one of the lowest things I've ever heard. You need to spend time getting over him rather than going out with another guy right now. If you still love your ex, it ... (read in full...)
She says she cant live without me, but she doesn't want to take the relationship further
Q. Been with my girlfriend for 3 years now, she is 24. At first it was great, we saw each other all the time, we kissed and held each other a lot, we had lots of sex, we talked about the future and getting a place together. After a year and a half ...
A. 22 February 2010: Get rid of her. She's keeping you like a household pet and even didn't believe that you hadn't stolen stuff. Now I do appreciate that she was raped and that has had a serious effect on her, but it's no excuse to just keep you around like a pet. ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with an EXTREMELY insecure girlfriend?
Q. How do I deal with an EXTREMELY insecure girlfriend? I am going to flat out say this, she is crazy. When I call her back to ask what is wrong, she pushes me away until we fight. But when I do not call back about something she then thinks "oh he d...
A. 22 February 2010: I have to say this would make me scared. All women tend to have a few insecurities, just as a few men do too. But this is serious. She needs to open up to you and tell you why she's so insecure. Chances are she has been really hurt before and is ... (read in full...)
I don't know whether I should ask him if I have done anything or just leave him alone
Q. Hey just after a bit of advice. I met this guy about 6 months ago after seeing him around a bit. At first he was really keen texting me etc and went to his house a couple of times after meeting up out (didn't have sex though). Then he started to ...
A. 22 February 2010: You're walking into a nightmare. He's not interested in any kind of commitment. Just seems like he's using you. Leave him well alone and find a better guy. ... (read in full...)
No matter what I do my wife never feels content, and now she is threatening a divorce. What should I do?
Q. I have a small online business so I work at home. I have a wife, a lovely 1.5 year old daughter and I love them very much. We moved to a new house out of state to start a new beginning with our daughter. As our new home is bigger, my wife would ...
A. 22 February 2010: Sit down with her and ask he what you can do to make it better. And listen to her. She sounds like she's feeling depressed and neglected. Sit down with her and listen to what she has to say. ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that because of my yeast infection stopping us having sex he will cheat on me!
Q. i have recently had a yeast infection and then i took the monistat one day thing and the symptoms started to feel better for like almost a week. while it was feeling better i had sex like one time and now i have one again . im currently using the ...
A. 22 February 2010: Seriously, if he cheats on you for this, he's not worth your time. Spend more time with him just doing couple stuff. ... (read in full...)
Three months on and I still have no closure...
Q. I am feeling more lost, alone and scared than I ever thought possible. I met my ex in October 2005 and started seeing him in October 2005. He moved to my city (6 hours away) in January 2006, and until November 2009 we had only spent one night ...
A. 22 February 2010: Marriage is a big step and can make a seemingly committed man show his true colours. Just because he lives with you as a boyfriend doesn't mean that he's not afraid of marriage. ... (read in full...)
What do I do to make things better between my daughter and I so that we can have a close relationship?
Q. I have made a mistake that hurt my daughter badly. It was 10 yrs. ago, when she was 10. This guy who was a 'friend' was coming up to our house. He was interested in starting a relationship with me and likewise. My daughter got a kind of like 'pu...
A. 22 February 2010: Took her first love away? Well, that's bordering on the pathetic. She has a very warped view if she sees it like that. You have two options. You can either talk with her and say that you are sorry that this happened, but that you would like a ... (read in full...)
How can I get my ex to start liking me again?
Q. I have a few things that I have been wondering about. Me and my ex dated for 5 months then broke up in november, we pretty much spoke everyday and were on again off again relationship until now. we have also been fighting a lot. She told me she ...
A. 22 February 2010: You can't. She has made it clear that it is time for you both to move on. So let her go. ... (read in full...)
What could be the reason for his non-commitment?
Q. i been dating this guy for a few months and we get along great he is a Libra and i am a Gemini, the problem is he claims he been hurt very bad in the past so he wants to take things slow, but he says he wants to be with me and calls me his ...
A. 22 February 2010: !!! ??? A curfew at 35. Just visiting for a few hours and then he goes home? Sure he's not married or still actually living with his ex? Because something is very wrong here. ... (read in full...)
Would it be appropriate to introduce him to some of my friends?
Q. I am in my mid thirties and dating again after divorce. A little on the rusty side when it comes to dating so hope you can help? I am in the early part of a new relationship with a great guy. We have just started spending the night at each others ...
A. 22 February 2010: I think the best thing you can do is ask him about it. Ask him if he would like to meet your friends and whether he would be comfortable with it. I think if he's a great guy and he's not just a commitment phobe he will be all right about it. Best to ... (read in full...)
I thought he had dumped me so I destroyed his records, and now I feel very guilty!
Q. i have been seeing this guy for 2 and half yrs never met his family or children. he stays with me and goes home on a Wednesday to see his children, 2 weeks ago his mum died he never told me he hasnt been in touch at all. i sent him texts he hasnt ...
A. 22 February 2010: Errr. Not sure what to say on this one. I think you need to explain that it was a knee jerk reaction because you thought he had dumped you. Explain that you didn't know his mother had died and that because he hadn't replied or said anything at all ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be jealous of my boyfriend's ex or am I just over reacting?
Q. me and my friends we hang out in groups of couples and there are three of us . one of my friends tho happens to be my boyfriends ex girl friend. and the other day when we were leaving her house he hugged her and i jealous is that normal or am i just ...
A. 22 February 2010: This is why getting involved with friend's ex's is never a good idea. Naturally you will be far more sensitive to everything he does with her. That said, it's a little worrying that he hugs her and wants to hand out at her house. I think you should ... (read in full...)
Why are his ex's sisters acting like this when I had nothing to do with the break-up?
Q. hi, ive been seeing a guy now for about 9 months now. he broke up with his ex girlfriend about a year and a half ago, they had been going out for 6 years.'he told me he broke it off with her as it wasnt working out anymore. when we go out we alway...
A. 22 February 2010: It's easier to blame you and hurt you than it is to get to him. Ignore them. They're obviously so blinded they can't see who broke it off. ... (read in full...)
Does my cheating ex-girlfriend deserve forgiveness?
Q. So my girlfriend cheated twice, both times I felt like it was my fault... But I still couldn't believe she did it and she seems not to care. I told her things like, ''I knew you never cared about me'', ''how could you do this to me?'', ''I hate you ...
A. 22 February 2010: DO NOT go back out with this girl ever again and get her out of your life immediately. Do not have her as a friend, do not apologize. Just get her out of your life. This is a girl who cheated on you TWICE. She tried to blackmail you emotionally by ... (read in full...)
How do you know if a guy really likes you, and not just for your body?
Q. this guy stares at me all the time. he looks good to me, but im used to guys who say something to me when i walk by if they are into me. this guy i no went over to him and said he'd get the boy to come talk to me. they were watching me and ...
A. 22 February 2010: Get to know him over time. That's the only way. If after a while he's not interested, you'll know he was only interested in you for your body. If he sticks it out and gets to know you, you'll know he wants you.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend broke my trust; should I try and work it out or leave
Q. Ok at the start of my relationship my girlfriend cheated on me 6 months into the relationship. We broke up for about 4 months. Well we got back together on some rather strict rules, since I did not know if I could trust her she was to share all her ...
A. 22 February 2010: Leave her immediately. This has to end. She cheated. She then came back. Now she swears at you and hits you. She has set up not one, but TWO myspace accounts and has been in contact with her ex. Now there is a facebook account. She promised he would ... (read in full...)
What do I do to make things better between my daughter and I so that we can have a close relationship?
Q. I have made a mistake that hurt my daughter badly. It was 10 yrs. ago, when she was 10. This guy who was a 'friend' was coming up to our house. He was interested in starting a relationship with me and likewise. My daughter got a kind of like 'pu...
A. 22 February 2010: There are two things that can have happened. 1). This man who you live with abused her and she hasn't said anything. 2). She simply feels neglected (which may not make sense, but may be the problem). She has no right to treat you this way though, so ... (read in full...)
Three months on and I still have no closure...
Q. I am feeling more lost, alone and scared than I ever thought possible. I met my ex in October 2005 and started seeing him in October 2005. He moved to my city (6 hours away) in January 2006, and until November 2009 we had only spent one night ...
A. 22 February 2010: He's afraid of the commitment. If you're looking for closure, you won't get it. You're wasting time if you sit there looking for reasons. The reason is he is afraid of the commitment. The single best thing you can do now is move on with your life ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend dumped ME, but she gets pissed when I go out or leave a comment on Facebook!
Q. Hey My ex gf broke up with me two weeks ago because she thinks she should be single but still tells me she loves me, doesnt want anyone else and doesnt want me to find anyone else. She also questions me if i go out anywhere and gets jealous if ...
A. 18 February 2010: Just block her and tell her to get out of your life. This is just emotional abuse. No one who loves someone treats that person this way. She's just having a power trip. Tell her to clear off and get on with your own life. You can find MUCH better.... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
