| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Does cheating count when your a kid still?
Q. So, I'm 16 and I've had a boyfriend for quite a while now. Things are good we care about each other and everything but here's the thing, I recently got a job about 3 months ago and since then I've made good friends with a boy who works there. We ...
A. 28 June 2010: If you think you're right to have a boyfriend and cheat on him, then tell him what you've been up to. I think you'll find that will cause him to leave. Seriously, if you want fun, let your boyfriend go. Your reputation as a cheat will stick with ... (read in full...)
I accidentally told my husband's family that he abused me and now everythings messed up, how can I fix this?
Q. Hi. My husband recently has gotten a little physcally abusive, and has forced blow jobs on my a couple of times when he was drunk.. I guess I wanted to get it off my chest, but I was just going to deal with it. I already forgave him. But then las...
A. 27 June 2010: Sometimes you have to step out into the unknown to make more progress, or get away. No harm in stepping out into the unknown. You're too nice to be stuck entrenched in abuse for the rest of your life. The unknown will do you good if you want it to. ... (read in full...)
Where are all of the men?
Q. I am 34 years old, and despairing of ever finding my Mr Right. I thought I had found him, but just before Christmas we split up. It really sucks being single in your thirties. Everyone of my local friends has settled down now, meaning tha...
A. 27 June 2010: My words of wisdom are these. I wanted a girlfriend, and tried hard to find one. I didn't get anywhere, so for a while I decided to just focus on my own life and do my own thing. Then one day, whilst minding my own business, a woman walked into me ... (read in full...)
I accidentally told my husband's family that he abused me and now everythings messed up, how can I fix this?
Q. Hi. My husband recently has gotten a little physcally abusive, and has forced blow jobs on my a couple of times when he was drunk.. I guess I wanted to get it off my chest, but I was just going to deal with it. I already forgave him. But then las...
A. 27 June 2010: We are caring. :). But you do need to care for yourself as well. You have had a very hard start to life, but in no way does that mean you need to accept it. No one has to accept anything. I have a friend who was raped, and I know three siblings who ... (read in full...)
Help! I'm afraid there's some physically wrong with me!
Q. hey. I wanted to ask is it natural for 16yo virgin boy, after getting an erection twice in 40min. period, not to get fully erected again when there's naked girl laying beside you and you're touching her? Because it has happened to me and I think ...
A. 27 June 2010: Your penis needs a rest sometimes. It's natural for him to lay down his arms and take a break! Don't worry so much. ... (read in full...)
I accidentally told my husband's family that he abused me and now everythings messed up, how can I fix this?
Q. Hi. My husband recently has gotten a little physcally abusive, and has forced blow jobs on my a couple of times when he was drunk.. I guess I wanted to get it off my chest, but I was just going to deal with it. I already forgave him. But then las...
A. 27 June 2010: You didn't do anything. I'm actually quite concerned about you, as much as your father in law, because it seems as if you can't see your husband has done something that is really wicked. Being sexually abused is a big thing. That's why there are ... (read in full...)
Should I date another guy to help me get over my ex?
Q. do you think i should find someone to help me to get over a guy faster? the guy is doing his own thing, what should i do? plz help...
A. 27 June 2010: No, it won't work. Certainly meet new guys, certainly meet new people, start new hobbies and really throw yourself into your own life. But don't date another guy. You should never enter a new relationship with someone before you've gotten over ... (read in full...)
Help! I don't think I'm as good as his ex!
Q. I cant help but compare myself to my boyfriends ex girlfriend. And he can tell whats going on and we keep growing apart. he says i dont need to amount to her. but i want to be better than she was. she is beautiful and has a great personality... i ...
A. 27 June 2010: You are better. He's going out with you, not her. It didn't work out with her, but it is with you. Why would you want to be like an ex that he had? It didn't work out. If you start to be like her, he'll dump you. He doesn't want her. He wants you. ... (read in full...)
I accidentally told my husband's family that he abused me and now everythings messed up, how can I fix this?
Q. Hi. My husband recently has gotten a little physcally abusive, and has forced blow jobs on my a couple of times when he was drunk.. I guess I wanted to get it off my chest, but I was just going to deal with it. I already forgave him. But then las...
A. 27 June 2010: You were sexually abused. Yes it's a big deal. The worst thing I've seen on this site since being here is the lack of respect that women have for themselves. So many women on this site accept appalling treatment. He abused you, it is a big deal. You ... (read in full...)
Does cheating count when your a kid still?
Q. So, I'm 16 and I've had a boyfriend for quite a while now. Things are good we care about each other and everything but here's the thing, I recently got a job about 3 months ago and since then I've made good friends with a boy who works there. We ...
A. 27 June 2010: You're cheating. Have the respect for your boyfriend and let him go. Then go and have fun. If you don't, and you continue to cheat, then your reputation will be tainted and he good guys will run a mile away from you, even in 10/20 years. ... (read in full...)
I want a divorce, but I know he won't accept it!
Q. Hello I want to leave my husband, i dont love him anymore (we dont have children and we're under 30) but I'm very scared of his reaction and our families, I want to know if I choose to hide for sometime will i have problems with the law? it is ilega...
A. 27 June 2010: Woman's Aid, like said below, is a good start. Another start would be this
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
and make an appointment to see them. They offer totally FREE advice and may be able to help with housing, divorce law and such. ... (read in full...)
Should I try to get him back?
Q. i broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago because the was no trust in the relationship. he is 4 yrs older then me but i really think i`ve fallen for him. when i got with him it for a bit of fun then it got serious. i duno what to do i want him...
A. 27 June 2010: No. There was no trust before, so there won't be any now. All those problems will still be there. He won't have suddenly changed and neither will you. You two broke up for a reason. You dumped him for a reason. There was no trust. You have done the ... (read in full...)
I accidentally told my husband's family that he abused me and now everythings messed up, how can I fix this?
Q. Hi. My husband recently has gotten a little physcally abusive, and has forced blow jobs on my a couple of times when he was drunk.. I guess I wanted to get it off my chest, but I was just going to deal with it. I already forgave him. But then las...
A. 27 June 2010: His father is protecting you. And rightfully so. You're being abused here, and it needs to be sorted out. ... (read in full...)
She says she's too in love with her boyfriend to let anything happen with me!
Q. I'm in love with my friend and she's in love with me but she says she loves her boyfriend too much to let anything happen. what should I do?...
A. 27 June 2010: You retain your dignity, self respect and reputation by accepting she has made her choice and backing away. ... (read in full...)
How in the world am I supposed to "catch" this one, or not let him slip through my fingers?
Q. Forgive me if this is a little long. I met the most amazing man in the world! He gave me faith in men and relationships again. He's extremely romantic, very sweet, and just all around an awesome man. He's extremely gorgeous too, so he's like the ...
A. 27 June 2010: TELL HIM. :). That's the only way. There's no use in being scared not to tell him, because that's precisely the thing that is getting in the way. If he lives that far away, there's no way he will click that you like him this much unless you tell ... (read in full...)
How can I get to enjoy time spent on my own?
Q. My boyfriend and I spend a lot of time together, so, like most people, after a few days he needs some time to himself. I totally respect this and when he needs it I let him have it. However I will never understand why people like to spend time on ...
A. 27 June 2010: Hobbie, hobbies, hobbies. I'm another person who enjoys being alone at times. If you don't like being alone, then perhaps it means that you're not investing enough time in yourself. So, when you're alone, do something you truly enjoy, whether it's ... (read in full...)
Am I the only guy who prefers petite women?
Q. I'm just wondering why it is that most men prefere big breasts as oppossed to small breasts, the women in porn and magazines reflects that men are more sexually aroused by big breasts and i'm just curious why that is? I'm more sexually attracted to ...
A. 27 June 2010: I've been out with curvy girls, thin girls, tall girls and shorter girls. I personally prefer a curvy girl who isn't too tall and is a bit older. I have a friend who is very tall and likes his girls to be tall (almost as tall as me, and I'm tall). I ... (read in full...)
Will I ever find anyone, male or female, who loves me for who I am?
Q. Heyy, Well the thing is I'm a really self-conscious person, I hide myself a lot (mostly my face) and I freak out when I'm standing with or next to a boy or a girl (I'm Bisexual) I know I'm not pretty, and I hate it when person tell me otherwise...
A. 27 June 2010: You will find someone, but not right now while you're esteem is so low and you're so self concious. The problem with having low self esteem, is that it acts as a ball and chain, just dragging you down. Good guys see that, and avoid it. It scares us. ... (read in full...)
Sick of hearing all my friends' sex stories!
Q. All my friends ever talk about now were 18 seems to be sex, we've all had it but I haven't for ages and it just makes me feel so undesireable, how can I not be so affected by tem all just alking about their boyfriends and sex? It just makes me feel ...
A. 27 June 2010: Desire and sex are two different things. You're getting them mixed up. Okay, so your friends go on about sex. You don't really know whether they're telling the truth though. My experience with people is the more they go on about it, the less they ... (read in full...)
I've never followed 'the rules' of 'womanly' behaviour is this wrong?
Q. The rules book stated that a girl should be reserved, not too chatty, not trying at all to entertain actually but thats a personality trait of mine, i LOVE TO ENTERTAIN, i make ppl laugh, im extremely bubbly and sometimes too hyper. I enjoy being ...
A. 27 June 2010: Stop worrying so much. That's the thing that will make men wary of you. We'll like the rest, just not the worrying. Quit worrying, and stop thinking about rules. ... (read in full...)
Too shy to have sex because I'm worried about the size of my penis...
Q. Hi. I'm 16yo. My penis is something like 5.7 - 6in long when erect. I'm still virgin.. I had maybe 7 chances to have a sex with girls but I didn't do it because I'm too shy and I don't want to get embarrassed when they see my small penis. I know ...
A. 26 June 2010: You're a normal average guy. But you're picking the wrong girl to fancy. She's been at it since she was 14, and is looking to cheat on her boyfriend? You need to find a better class of girl, and get to know her first. There's nothing wrong with you. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to cum really quickly for your first time of getting intimate?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I've grown really close to my girlfriend over the last few weeks and we recently started experimenting with each other - taking steps. Today, we went to third base, she gave me a hand job, at which point I was very VERY turned o...
A. 26 June 2010: Yes, it is. Perfectly normal. Just relax. ... (read in full...)
He's okay with casual sex, I'm not. Should I stop dating him?
Q. I saw this guy that I know. He asked for my number,so since he wasn't dating anyone and I wasn't I did. When he called we talked and he said he wanted to take me on a nice trip. He has been trying to have sex with me, but I'm not ready to be in a ...
A. 26 June 2010: He's looking for sex. You're looking for more. He's either looking for someone else in the meantime. All he wants is sex. Really, that's a good enough reason for you to move on. Find a guy who isn't just out for sex. This one is... (read in full...)
How does nipple color determine how she is in her sexual life?
Q. hiiii all once aging i want to know sm thing ... may be its can be funny question...but i want ans... different-different women have different-different color of nipple of Brest… So my question is if sm women has light Pink color o...
A. 26 June 2010: Nipple colour has nothing to do with anything.... (read in full...)
How do I tell him to get lost good and proper?
Q. my boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago fine fine can handle it not! worst still he rings me every three days now i got him tickets to a concert he and i wanted to go to for his birthday and he said he would bring a mate i eas hoping he would ...
A. 26 June 2010: Ignore all calls, all messages. Everything. Cut him out of your life. Try anything else and you'll never get over him. You're no longer together, and it's time for you to just cut all contact and move on. Send one last message saying goodbye, then ... (read in full...)
Will anger management help my husband?
Q. Can anger management help a husband who has been abusive when frustrated, angry, or hurt? It has gotten worse over the months and I think it will just get worse without some kind of help. Is it a long process?...
A. 26 June 2010: Not unless he knows he has a problem. And by the sound of it, he does't. And yes it is a long process. Years. No one changes overnight. Also, it now depends on the level of abuse you have to endure. You shouldn't be at there taking all this from ... (read in full...)
Should I write a letter to end things with him? Or just forget about it?
Q. Hi I had dated this guy and because of some things on both our parts , we kind of broke up. I tried very hard to work things out but he would always be mean to me, so I decided to accept that he didn't want the relationship back, but everytime I ...
A. 26 June 2010: Nothing would make a difference to him. I think you should just move on. ... (read in full...)
My wife had sex with her cousin and wants a divorce
Q. My wife a couple months ago found out her cousin on the other side of the country had cancer and wanted to go see him. Well they were never close but I didnt understand why but I let her go, she came back a week later and started fighting afterwar...
A. 26 June 2010: My advice to you is to get a lawyer double quick. If she still wants to be with you, you really need counselling to get to the bottom of this. Could it be that her staying at home has got to her? Of the baby is causing her mental strain. I'm not ... (read in full...)
My wife has been having an affair, I want his name and details
Q. My wife was caught having an affair by his wife, a couple of days later I caught her out, she admitted it and said she didn't love me anymore, she has since changed her mind but refuses to give any details about the affair, I have said as a minimum ...
A. 26 June 2010: More important is WHY she had the affair in the first place. Whoever the guy was, he is not to blame and knowing his name won't make this any better, nor will his details. What is more important is you find out why she had the affair in the first ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a jealous cheater
Q. No matter what i do he still cheat on me.my boyfriend of 1year and some months wont stop cheating on me i dnt know why and the funniest thing is that the girls according to him cant be rated with me yet he cheat. am a beautiful girl,sex...
A. 26 June 2010: Dump him, dump him, dump him. Take it from a man. This guy will not stop cheating, and will certainly not change. Why settle for a fifth rate boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
It seems he doesn't want to help financially, am I expecting too much?
Q. So, I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 months, we're extremely close, and I love him a lot. I just have one minor issue that keeps coming up. I had major surgery a few months before I met him and then upon returning to work, I was laid off due to ...
A. 26 June 2010: At 5 months, it probably is too soon for him to be paying utility bills. But he did promise, and a man who doesn't live up to his promises isn't necessarily one to be trusted. Watch this one carefully. ... (read in full...)
I've never followed 'the rules' of 'womanly' behaviour is this wrong?
Q. The rules book stated that a girl should be reserved, not too chatty, not trying at all to entertain actually but thats a personality trait of mine, i LOVE TO ENTERTAIN, i make ppl laugh, im extremely bubbly and sometimes too hyper. I enjoy being ...
A. 26 June 2010: Who cares about rules? Men don't want robots. We want A WOMAN. Men are attracted to different women as well. Some like reserved, quiet women. Others like outgoing women. So just continue to be yourself, and you'll find the right guy. Don't be ... (read in full...)
I'm starved of physical affection in my marriage, help!
Q. I've dated my hubby for a really long time and got married last year.he,s perfect. Does everything a husband should do. Provides for me, helps me out as best as he can with everything and anything, he genuinely loves me I know, The problem is he is...
A. 26 June 2010: Maybe he's not seeing you as a woman, but as the mother of his child instead. Men can get that way sometimes. For some, the idea of having sex with the woman who was pregnant and gave birth to a baby can have a bit of an effect. I think the best way ... (read in full...)
He keeps cheating on me and lying about it, why?
Q. I have been dating this guy for almost a year now. It is very clear that he and I have a lot of passion for one another. We have everything in common and spend a lot of time together. To make a long story short ... I started noticing signs here and ...
A. 26 June 2010: He's doing it because he can. You stay, he knows you'll stay, so he does it. What's wrong with him is that he's just a pretty cold, immature uncaring man. I would strongly suggest to you that you get away from him one way or another. You're wasting ... (read in full...)
I'm more interested in foreplay than penetration is this wrong?
Q. ok so it seems like i am more intrested in foreplay than sex and more intrested in doing things to give my gf pleasure instead of having her do something to me. is that strange? is there anything abnormol or wrong about that?...
A. 26 June 2010: Not at all. You carry on. I'm sure she appreciates it. ... (read in full...)
He acts like he wants me but makes no moves, is he just being friendly?
Q. So I've finally gotten closer to my guy friend and flirting was so casual that I never noticed he was hinting at me, but he tells me he likes me and thats it. I don't understand him. He calls me babe, we can act like a couple, we constantly flirt, ...
A. 26 June 2010: How are you acting towards him. Maybe he's looking for some sign in you that you like him. It seems as if he likes you, but if you might be sending him mixed messages. And like most men, he won't see past them. Try talking to him more and carefully ... (read in full...)
He promised to stop taking drugs, but I caught him getting high, how can I leave him?
Q. hi, I'm new to this and ive never asked for help on a website before but I'm desperate for advice. its a bit long, so please bear with me. tonight I was out with my best friend, while we were driving we passed my boyfriend's apartment. I decide t...
A. 26 June 2010: Ask yourself this. Instead of it just being him on drugs, imagine that he spikes you drink, or pushes you to take them. Imagine, worse still, that you stay with him and he dies. Or that you have kids and he dies. Or that when he's high he cheats. Or ... (read in full...)
What do I do, he wants to break up!
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for 1.5 years. Things were going really great until I left the country for 3 months because of school. I came back thinking everything was the same.... and is not. He suggested to break up with me.I panicked and he ...
A. 26 June 2010: Please stop being so stubborn with this guy. He wants to break up, but is a coward and won't do it himself, so he's pushing you to do it. You're now just being used and you're allowing it. There is no way that this will be worked out, because he ... (read in full...)
In love and hurt. Do I move on? Please help.
Q. So I am 16 years old. And I have already fallen really hard for a guy. We knew each other since we were 13 and 14. Best friends and all. We just told each other last January that we liked each other. That June we started going out. I fell in love ...
A. 26 June 2010: I'm afraid he's not coming back. He's made it clear he's not coming back. At his age, he probably has no real idea about commitment, or how much he has hurt you. He just doesn't. And to them break up with you only to go out with another best friend. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's behaviour is outrageous
Q. This is the third time me and my girlfriend have been together. Each time the relationship started i approached her and we talked things out and everything always starts off great. The first time I broke up with her she didn't like my friends ...
A. 26 June 2010: You need to end this. This girl is boderline. She's not perfect for anyone at all. She's round the twist and needs professional help. Sell those film rights and make a run for it. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to live a life of instant gratification since he learned his mum was gay
Q. I am 21. I dated my boyfriend for 7 years and it was never an on/off type of thing. We talked all the time about marriage, kids, and the life we would have when we were older, but we didnt want to rush anything because what we had was good and we ...
A. 26 June 2010: I'm always sceptical of people getting back together later on. It rarely works out. Your boyfriend has been through a bit of a shock, and it will have permanently be a changed person. I think if you sit there waiting for him, you will eventually be ... (read in full...)
He stopped calling out of the blue
Q. I met this guy four years ago at work( he was a client). we started talking but didn't get together until last year. the realtionship started off great for the first 5 months and out the blue he just stopped coming over and he stopped calling. He ...
A. 26 June 2010: I'm really sorry, but I think this coward has dumped you and didn't have the nerve to say it. The best thing you can do now is just end things with him and totally cut contact. Delete his numbers and his contacts, and start to move on by going out ... (read in full...)
Ideas for an atypical date?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a bit, we're both in college and I want to do something that isn't a typical date. I want us to sneak out of our houses at night (trust me not to do anything bad and whatnot) but to watch the stars or ...
A. 26 June 2010: So why don't you go out and just watch the stars? Worked for my girlfriend and I. You could try a midnight picnic. ... (read in full...)
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