| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
I cheated on my b/f again and this time I'm afraid to tell him
Q. So I have been with my bf for 2yrs...Within that time we both have cheated...But were still together...I kno your prolly think why were together still..We both understand where were comin from when we both did it..I kno a relationship shouldnt be ...
A. 17 July 2010: It's the best thing really. ... (read in full...)
Ex will not give me permission to take our child away. Should I just do it anyways?
Q. I want to take my child away for a few months but Ex will not give permission. Should I just go and face the consciences when I get back? We are seperated but not legally. He is on the birth certificate. If anyone has been in this situation...
A. 8 July 2010: I was worried this might happen to you. A judge has the power to say no, if it an be proved that you are taking the child away. I've not heard of it being used all that often. Your ex is clearly being abusive in his manner, so there is an option for ... (read in full...)
If a man is using you for sex why would he keep on coming back even if he didnt get it every time?
Q. if a man is using you for sex would he keep coming back even if he didnt always get it and sometimes he did but it wasnt great? how do you tell if someone is genuine or a really good liar, i have to say he has a girlfriend and the rule of thumb is ...
A. 5 July 2010: A man doesn't need it every time if if gets it half the time from you and half the time from his girlfriend. He's most definitely using you, and in a very clever way as well. He keeps you guessing at all times, and preys on you when he wants. With ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my boyfriend?
Q. my boyfriend i going out with another girl from another state. when we first started going out he said that he had broken up with her.and then 2 weeks later he started calling me and telling me to break up with him. and i told him about all the ...
A. 5 July 2010: Dump him. Come on! He lied to you, cheated on you, then you went back and now he's cheating on her. Your friends are screaming at you to dump him. You're losing self respect and dignity every moment you're not dumping him. Just cut contact, delete ... (read in full...)
Am I making a big deal over nothing? I am consumed by his relatiomship with his ex!
Q. When me and my bf were together for 2 months, his ex started calling him. This is the woman he thought he would marry. He told me she called and they talked on the phone, and I wasn't mad. After another month he let me borrow his phone, and his ...
A. 5 July 2010: You've not really forgiven him at all. I think maybe you need look at your relationship and see where it needs more effort, particularly on his behalf. If you've not forgiven him, that means that there hasn't yet been enough effort by you or him for ... (read in full...)
Why did my work colleagues behave this way?
Q. Hi Cupids, mine isn't a love question but I'm annoyed at what's happened. At the weekend work organised a night out to somewhere me and my boyfriend had never been to so a girl who works with me and her BF said we could follow them - whic...
A. 5 July 2010: This reminds me of my old boss. He was an ass as well. That's pretty much it. The good news is you don't really have to do anything other than work with them, so leave it at that. ... (read in full...)
Does she still think of me?
Q. I recently (2 months) have broken up with my girlfriend over a very near 4 years, and well we broke up because she cheated on me, and the fact that after I gave her another chance she wanted to leave the relationship as she had no feeling ...
A. 5 July 2010: Sadly, I don't think so. When she cheated, she wasn't really thinking about you. I don't think she will be now, either. I never think about my ex unless I'm on here answering a question. That's the only time. I don't think she'll be thinking about ... (read in full...)
My internet love broke up with me and now isn't returning my calls!
Q. i meet a guy 3 months ago in a internet, and we chatted for 1 week than we fall in love, i don't what happens he don't talk to me much or don't come online much i got so upset and i write to him asking why is he doing this to me he reply he said its ...
A. 5 July 2010: I'm afraid you need to move on. For whatever reason, he's lost interest. You'll never know the whole story, sadly. He may have been married, he may have been speaking to several women. But it's clear that he has moved on already, which now means ... (read in full...)
He cheated because he was drunk and I cant get over it!
Q. Okay, so me and my boyfriend have been going out for 9 months...we started going out sept.7, 2009 and its now June.30, 2010... Back in Feburary he decided to throw a small party when his mother was away and get drunk...( one girl and 4 guys) well ...
A. 2 July 2010: 1 - I'm afraid you are being naive. If she came up with the idea, and he consented, then he knew what he was doing because she must have said something.
2 - His friends are lying that he's been faithful, because he's cheated.
3 - So what if he in... (read in full...)
Is he really interested?
Q. I apologize for the long drawn out question but I like to start at the beginning so it's easier to understand. I have been talking with a male coworker for the past couple of months, he does have a girlfriend. We email back and forth at work, ...
A. 1 July 2010: Come on. Wake up. He has a girlfriend. That's a good enough reason not to pursue this. You're being set up. ... (read in full...)
Who should buy the condoms?
Q. Hey, who do you think should supply a condom the boys or the girls? or should they take turns? Thanks....
A. 1 July 2010: It would be nice if you took turns, because you are both responsible. But in this world, you have to look out for yourself, so ALWAYS have spares for yourself. You don't want to end up forgetting and making a mistake.... (read in full...)
Should I send his gifts back to him now that we've split up?
Q. I was with this guy for 2 and a half years, it was a serious relationship so we bought each other stuff like you do, but in the last 6 months things got very rocky and during that time we split up and got back together a total of 4 times. I cheated ...
A. 1 July 2010: Forget the presents, and just continue to move on. You should pay the money back though. I'd suggest personally posting it through his door, and having no contact.... (read in full...)
Driving fears and how to combat it???
Q. Hey guys, this might sound like a silly problem, but any help and advice will be much appreciated. I just got my driver's license and a car. I've been driving around for a few days now and i am quite nervous! I drive okay but people are so ru...
A. 1 July 2010: It's just a matter of experience. Your nerves will start to disappear as you become more and more used to driving. You'll get there.... (read in full...)
I know I will end up getting hurt by this married man but part of me wants to know how it would feel to make love to him!
Q. I'm in love with a married man that I have been dating now for two months. we never slept together,but I'm planning on sleeping with him soon. I'm a little afraid because I think I may get hurt.I know the easy thing would be to run away now! but a ...
A. 1 July 2010: You would rather cheapen yourself, lose self respect and possibly assist in hurting a married women because of this selfish man, than find a nice single man who will actually love you? Read all the posts on here about women who have been used and ... (read in full...)
Why does my ex husband always take his girlfriend's side over me and our children?
Q. please help,i was very happily married for 21 years to a wonderful man.one day he came home from his work and told me he didnt love me.two weeks later he walked out on me and my 3 kids.its been nearly 2 years now and he still lives with his parents ...
A. 1 July 2010: Do you remember the day that he came home, said he didn't' love you and such? Well that said all you needed to know about his character. He does it, because he's a stupid man being led by his penis and not his brain. But he'll come to regret it. In ... (read in full...)
How can I let her know she is an annoying friend without being harsh?
Q. I go to a big church, I'm single and don't have many friends. I met this girl who's 5 years younger like two years ago, but now we are getting to know each other better. Even though she is married with two little ones she feels kind of lonely too ...
A. 1 July 2010: I think the problem here is that you're both two very lonely women who have just found each other. But she has become very dependent on you. Have patient with her. I think she knows that she's a bit of a pain at times, but she's just desperate to be ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being the bad guy when I am only trying to help her!
Q. So my girlfriend and I have been living together for 2 years. We were friends first and then she left her boyfriend for me. For the first 6 months or so it was great we were all lovey-dovey and really great together, nothing but happiness. By now ...
A. 1 July 2010: Stop putting yourself out there so much. You're acting more like a doting father than a boyfriend. Tell her to get her own act in gear. If she doesn't, end it. You need to let her do her own thing. You're a nice guy, but like all nice guys ... (read in full...)
Should I get back with him even though I think I might cheat on him?
Q. My ex and i are thinking about getting back together but i feel i get back with him im gonna be unfaithful because the reason we broke up was because he was constantly accusing me and to turn out he was cheating the whole time...and if i get back ...
A. 1 July 2010: If you think for one second that you might cheat, then don't go back to him. You'll only hurt him and end up looking bad. He cheated on you, so he's not worth your time. But to go and get so called 'revenge' by cheating won't achieve anything and ... (read in full...)
He says the problems in our relationship are my fault!
Q. Last night my partner really made me feel like a terrible person. We have had a lot of stress since we moved back in together, his son, money, lack of job (on his part) his mother being an alcoholic, my own chronic illness. He has seemed to just get...
A. 1 July 2010: I'd just leave him. You've just done a degree, and you're searching for a job. This is your moment to get away form the man who is dragging you down. It's not the other way around here. He's blaming you for everything. Well, sorry, but he's placed ... (read in full...)
I'm Pregnant! Should I tell him now or wait till he returns?
Q. I've just found out I'm pregnant, which I can handle, as it's my second child. Though I'm worried about my partner. We live long distance, have only been dating a month, and this will be his first child. He is about to go fight forest fires for the ...
A. 1 July 2010: He needs to know. ASAP. He needs to know before he goes away. ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my b/f again and this time I'm afraid to tell him
Q. So I have been with my bf for 2yrs...Within that time we both have cheated...But were still together...I kno your prolly think why were together still..We both understand where were comin from when we both did it..I kno a relationship shouldnt be ...
A. 1 July 2010: End it. Just end it. Neither of you love each other to commit, and now you've cheated again. There's nothing there at all, and both of you are going to get reputations for being untrustworthy. There is no trust or commitment here at all. It's time ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose him, what should I do?
Q. hey there i have a question well,i've been datin my bf for 8 months..but this moth his been acting mess up wth me he accused me of talkin to guys n of seen sum other guys..me n him have no trust when we started dating a month later he cheated on me ...
A. 1 July 2010: Come on, this guy accused you of cheating, then cheated on you. There's no real redeeming quality in him. He's just a cheat. You can do better. No matter how much you love him, he's not suddenly going to turn into a better guy. He's just going to ... (read in full...)
It seems my partner is possesive, forceful and wants me to have a baby even though I'm not ready, what should I do?
Q. hi... am really in need for some advice ...have slept with my b/f who is 23 years older then me and actually enjoyed it but since then he is forcing me to move in with him ....when he first asked.. i asked him to give me some time but he is forcing ...
A. 1 July 2010: End it NOW. This guy is seriously unstable. He is possessive, he's forcing you to move in, he's trying to make you have a baby. At 23, he's already had a marriage and 3 children, and has left them all. You need to end it with him now. No if's, no ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband treat me this way when I do everything I can to keep him happy?
Q. I dont understand why my husband cheats lies and stopped have sex with me or treats me like a slave i do everything i can to keep him happy???????...
A. 1 July 2010: You're sinking and sinking here. He cheats because he can, he treats you badly because he can, he has no sex with because he can. And he can, because you try even harder to make him happy. I'm sorry but this man does not love you at all. You need to ... (read in full...)
Why am I so picky when I really want a relationship?
Q. ok so I feel super ridiculous because I see all of my friends and stuff with their boyfriends and stuff and I can't keep a guy to save my life. A lot of guys like me but I'm super picky..and when I do like someone I get tired of them and move on ...
A. 1 July 2010: I don't think you're ready to have a relationship at the moment. It's good to be picky to an extent. But when you're going from one guy to another and just getting tired, even when they're good, they maybe you need to slow right down and focus on ... (read in full...)
I feel like I made a mistake but I'm doing all I can to make it up to her, why is she still acting this way?
Q. Alright ladies. I need a little bit of help figuring this one out. So my wife is a big fan of the twilight series. (big surprise right?) Anyway, I was on my way home from work around 6:00 and I told her I wanted to take her to see it tonight. ...
A. 1 July 2010: You were just unlucky. That's all there is to it really. 45 minutes early is still pretty early, to be fair. She was probably just annoyed that she didn't get to see the film after making effort to go out. It happens. Chalk it down to experience, ... (read in full...)
He cheated because he was drunk and I cant get over it!
Q. Okay, so me and my boyfriend have been going out for 9 months...we started going out sept.7, 2009 and its now June.30, 2010... Back in Feburary he decided to throw a small party when his mother was away and get drunk...( one girl and 4 guys) well ...
A. 1 July 2010: He and three other guys invited one girl to a party. They wanted to use her, and the fact is the drink had nothing to do with it. They all wanted to use her and they did. All of them. They didn't even use protection, so she could be pregnant, or ... (read in full...)
Ex will not give me permission to take our child away. Should I just do it anyways?
Q. I want to take my child away for a few months but Ex will not give permission. Should I just go and face the consciences when I get back? We are seperated but not legally. He is on the birth certificate. If anyone has been in this situation...
A. 30 June 2010: The only way is to go to court and hope the judge allows you to do it. It will depend on why you want to take the child away, so the reason needs to be a very good one. If you just take the child, you'll wind up in prison for kidnap and you'll lose ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I'm not pleasing my boyfriend enough in bed!
Q. i dont know why but im worried im not pleasing my boyfriend enough in bed. he seems happy with me, he gets an erection just by me kissing him and he never loses his erection, is that a good sign ? and he usually always climaxes when we have sex...
A. 30 June 2010: Oh yes, he's enjoying it. He's perfectly happy with you. Stop worrying about it.... (read in full...)
The sex in our relationship is too good to lose......
Q. hi, my boyfriend and i have the best sex i have ever had in my life. always passionate and honestly he is pretty kinky, bit of a freak. but.... i think we've broken up tonight.!! we fight so much now we barely have any sex, but is more intense ...
A. 30 June 2010: "I am really hurt, but knew it had to end. He keeps lying and I just don't trust him any longer"
Yes, that's more than a good enough reason to end it. Your relationship was totally toxic, and if you hadn't ended it,, you'd have just ended up even ... (read in full...)
My husband feels more like a friend to me than a lover, and now I have met someone else....
Q. I am 31 and have been married for 7-years. Our relationship is good – we talk, laugh and generally get on well. The problem is that I feel we are more friends than lovers and for the last 4-years we have not had sex. 6-weeks ago, I met another man ...
A. 30 June 2010: End it with the new guy, go back to your marriage and work on it. You have a good time with your husband, and he seems like a good man. You seem to have come across that moment in your marriage where you need to kick it into gear again. Go out on ... (read in full...)
Why is my girlfriend so secretive over her phone?
Q. Hello. Ok let's get into this straight away. I am in a relationship and its going well. We are in love and going to be having a baby in Oct. Not married but we are strong how we are. I Don't know why but my GF always has a secretive mind. For...
A. 30 June 2010: Well, the cat is out of the bag I'm afraid. So it's back to my plan, where you do a bit of very discreet investigating.... (read in full...)
How long does it take for genital warts to show up?
Q. If you have beed exposed to genital warts which i have (i knew he had them and it doesnt bother me because i love him but i still have to face the fact that i could have them) how long does it take to show up if you do have it and if you dont have ...
A. 30 June 2010: What Tisha says. Best answer on here.... (read in full...)
I am worried my colleague is suicidal, what can I do?
Q. Afternoon aunts and uncles. I need some advice about a colleague of mine. Over the last few months she keeps talking about suicide and killing herself. She even asked what is the best way to kill yourself. At first I thought it was just attenti...
A. 30 June 2010: Go to this site
http://www.samaritans.org/
and just have a read at what it can offer. I've been there before and it offers a lot of information about suicide, and not just for suicidal people. It can offer help for people who think that someo... (read in full...)
Why is my girlfriend so secretive over her phone?
Q. Hello. Ok let's get into this straight away. I am in a relationship and its going well. We are in love and going to be having a baby in Oct. Not married but we are strong how we are. I Don't know why but my GF always has a secretive mind. For...
A. 30 June 2010: I have to say, there does seem to be something a miss here. I can understand the texts being a little secretive (you are allowed privacy). But when she's meeting these 'friends' and not even telling you their names, something could be a miss. I ... (read in full...)
I don't think she's going to let me be a father to my baby1
Q. Ok, I am going to be completely honest here. I was dating this girl for about 5 months but have known her for almost 8 years and she is now 11 weeks pregnant and we are no longer together. Before we broke up, she moved to west virginia to help out ...
A. 30 June 2010: You need a lawyer, and you need to prove the child is yours. That's what you need to do here. Only a lawyer will be able to tell you what rights you have and what you can do. ... (read in full...)
He won't let go of his ex!
Q. What to do about a b/f that won't let go of his "ex"? I feel like I'm always living in her shadow, a continual ghost who still walks amongst us and he gets mad when I make references to her (usually during a fight) yet I know it's because I see the ...
A. 30 June 2010: If you're finding secret photos tucked away all the time, and the most he has to say is that you're just jealous and doesn't do anything to help, then maybe this guy just isn't worth your time. You've been going out with this man for 8 years, and he ... (read in full...)
16 with a 7 month old baby, but my mum says I cant be with a guy who is 21! Is this true?
Q. ok im 16 and i have a child thats 7 months old and i really like this guy but hes 21 and my mom said i couldnt be with him is that true? i didnt know because im emancipated....
A. 30 June 2010: You need to find out what the law is in your state. Laws change from state to state. So whatever US state you're in, you need to find out what the law is for you. ... (read in full...)
I came in between 2 friends without ever meaning to!
Q. A former friend hated me when I started dating his best friend. I found out he had a crush on me which may be why he hates me so much. I've never done anything to hurt him but he blames me for my bf not wanting to hang out with him. My bf said he ...
A. 30 June 2010: You haven't ruined anything. Why are you blaming yourself? What kind of a friend is this guy anyway? He's just turned against you and your boyfriend for no other reason than his own selfish interests. He didn't say a word about fancying. Instead, he ... (read in full...)
She keeps changing her mind how she feels about me
Q. "O, swear not by the moon, the fickle moon, the inconstant moon, that monthly changes in her circle orb, Lest that thy love prove likewise variable."(romeo and juliet) I'm completely in love with this girl and i know she likes me but she's always c...
A. 30 June 2010: Nice quote. Sadly, you'll remember that Romeo and Juliet was also a tragedy, as your relationship with this girl is. And your girl isn't even committed either. On/off relationships never work. Never. There isn't a person I know who has had an on/off ... (read in full...)
Will my second chance end before it has a chance to begin?
Q. After not talking or seeing an ex I cared about for over 10 years we recently reconnected with each other. By chance both of us are currently single but she is going through a divorce right now. We started talking and it as if we were never apart. ...
A. 30 June 2010: Stop everything and give her time. She's going through a divorce, and rightfully needs to make sure things are right for her and her son first. Her son must come first in all this, no matter what. He will be hurting, and the last thing he will want ... (read in full...)
I don't want to fight anymore with my best friend over the guy I like!
Q. Hey, I'm like kinda confused, and Sad and A little mad about this problem. My Best friend, Means everything to me, I would do anything for her. I like this Guy, that she doesn't like. And Honestly, she doesn't have to. it doesn't both...
A. 30 June 2010: Why are you texting a guy who is a liar? Why are you setting yourself up for pain? You think it's ridiculous for her not to like him and be mean about it? Yet you text a liar. That makes little sense. You're looking through rose tinted glasses at ... (read in full...)
How long does it take for genital warts to show up?
Q. If you have beed exposed to genital warts which i have (i knew he had them and it doesnt bother me because i love him but i still have to face the fact that i could have them) how long does it take to show up if you do have it and if you dont have ...
A. 30 June 2010: They can show up within a few days, or it can take years. Herpes hides itself, and factors such as stress and diet can have an effect. Those who have less stress and eat healthily often have a far smaller reaction to herpes. So stay healthy, make ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
