| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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How long does it take for genital warts to show up?
Q. If you have beed exposed to genital warts which i have (i knew he had them and it doesnt bother me because i love him but i still have to face the fact that i could have them) how long does it take to show up if you do have it and if you dont have ...
A. 30 June 2010: What Tisha says. Best answer on here.... (read in full...)
How long does it take for genital warts to show up?
Q. If you have beed exposed to genital warts which i have (i knew he had them and it doesnt bother me because i love him but i still have to face the fact that i could have them) how long does it take to show up if you do have it and if you dont have ...
A. 30 June 2010: They can show up within a few days, or it can take years. Herpes hides itself, and factors such as stress and diet can have an effect. Those who have less stress and eat healthily often have a far smaller reaction to herpes. So stay healthy, make ... (read in full...)
I have found out my boyfriend has been lying to me for nearly a year, I'm scared there could be even more he is hiding!
Q. Hi, I'm a little lost as to which dirction to turn. My boyfriend lied to me. Everyday, for nearly a year. He told me that he lost his licence because he never converted his international licence to an Australian one about 1 year ago. I recently ...
A. 30 June 2010: This man has no respect for anyone. He was caught drink driving, and was banned. He then lied to you. He then went out and drove without a license and was caught over the limit AGAIN. He now has a suspended sentence and several convictions, and had ... (read in full...)
Will he choose me in the end over his other girlfriend?
Q. im dating a guy who has a girlfriend already he's been with her for about a year and i knew but i let my feelings get in the way and i told him i wanted to be his girlfriend too. so we been dating a while im really falling for him and want him to ...
A. 30 June 2010: I think he's a man who is having his cake and eating it. You're being used, his girlfriend is being used. Even if he did leave her for you, the chances of it working out between you are roughly 12% or so. It's a well known fact that most men who ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is pregnate with another mans baby... what do I do???
Q. Me and my girlfriend really love eachother... A While back we split up.. and she was with another dude.. and didnt think we'd ever get back together, though she tried. We've been back together now for about two months.. and she just told me that ...
A. 30 June 2010: I think everyone here will tell you the same thing. You need to leave her. This is just such a mess, and I don't see this working out. She already has another child by someone else, which I can handle. But then she split up with you and rather than ... (read in full...)
Why did my ex treat me so badly but he's so good to his new g/f?
Q. My ex boyfriend was very abusive to me. In ways you would never want to imagine. I was such a great girlfriend ifelt like tho. I did everything for him too. Well now he has a new girlfriend and has never even threatened to do anything to her (not ...
A. 30 June 2010: I suspect it's because of her. Her reaction to you was very cold. She said you 'probably deserved it'. So we know that she's not any better than him, and that he will be aware that he can't be abusive yet because she's a bit too strong. You'll find ... (read in full...)
My lover who told he will marry me after 2 yrs is now calling me sister
Q. Hi everyone, I'm in love with my colleague for the past 8 months, i expressed him and he asked me to wait for 2 yrs, and he told he is facing some problems as of now so he asked me not to call or contact him for 2 yrs and i told him ok ,but we ...
A. 30 June 2010: You're wasting your life by waiting for this guy. You need to let him go. ... (read in full...)
I'd do anything to be with him!
Q. theres a guy i like and ive liked him for about 2 months but he already has a girl friend what should i do? ill do any thing to be with him!...
A. 30 June 2010: If he has a girlfriend, then let him go. You don't want to end up with a bad reputation as a woman who steals boyfriends, and you don't want to lose your dignity by chasing around after him and looking desperate. You need to remember your ... (read in full...)
We want to have a three-some but we both have conditions
Q. My husband and I were talking about having a 3 some. The problem is, I'm not comfortable with him being inside another woman, and he is not comfortable having a guy involved in any way.. I thought about just having a 4 some to make it even but then ...
A. 30 June 2010: Don't even bother thinking about doing it. It will go wrong.... (read in full...)
My ex cut out all contact, but I want him back in my life, either as friend or boyfriend. How to get in touch?
Q. It is my ex-boyfriend's birthday in a couple of days and part of me wants to wish him a happy birthday but I just cannot decide what to do because we aren't in contact at all. Part of me wants to get back together with him, but another part of me ...
A. 30 June 2010: When a man cuts contact, he cuts contact. A while back when things ended between my ex and I, I cut contact with her to get over her. Your ex boyfriend has made a very permanent gesture, and his family have done the same. And, if you notice this ... (read in full...)
He had a bet that he could last a month without liking me!
Q. the guy i talk about (pretend name) - S, not the nicest looking, on the chubby side. the girl who i mention - L, a mental girl who asked him for sex when he was 10 and then asked a girl for sex. okayy x soo. this all started back in january...
A. 30 June 2010: Oh sweetie, please ditch this useless little boy. You've admitted that you've treated him badly, but you both worked hard to overcome that. But for him to actually put a bet on with a friend and then go out of his way to really hurt you is very ... (read in full...)
A fairytail in the making
Q. Was very much in love with my high school sweetheart, we broke up after being together 3 1/2 years. We both went on with our lives and got married. I am recently divorced after 22 years of a unhealthy marriage. Never forgot my highschool ...
A. 30 June 2010: You need to back away from this guy and let him make his own decision. Married men can be brilliant at lying and telling unsuspecting women what they want to head before using them. He is a married man, he has kids and a wife. No matter how much he ... (read in full...)
After eight years he says we're just close friends
Q. Please advise me what to do! No matter what I do, my boyfriend seems to think we're just very close friends. But that is not how it appears to me or to other people! We've been seeing each other since 2002, and he practically lives at my apartmen...
A. 30 June 2010: You're doomed to be unhappy with this guy. Not only has he cheated, he is now saying that you're basically just friends and there is no sex life either. I know you and others seem to think there is some sort of future between you, but this is fast ... (read in full...)
How can I get my boyfriend to take pictures with me for facebook?
Q. Dear Cupid, I know this sounds sooo soo stupid and its a really stupid thing to ask. But I see some of my friends on facebook who have pics with their boyfriends really cute ones...Im just wondering how do I get pics with my boyfriend and how do ...
A. 30 June 2010: Just ask him. I'm sure he won't mind. ... (read in full...)
Who has gone too far. Me or Him???
Q. what the?? OK so I'm 29 and my boyfriend is 44. he has many girlfriends and is very social, and i love this about him. we've worked in the same salon together for 8 yrs, been living together 1 of the 2 yrs we've been dating. generally very happy. ...
A. 29 June 2010: You love him. It's not stupid at al. Everybody does it. But you are right, it does have to end. You cant' be second best for the rest of your life. That would be a waste.... (read in full...)
I feel guilty and terrible because I gave oral to a guy while drunk. Any advice?
Q. basically I'm feeling incredibly guilty because I gave head to a guy last night. Im quite young so that was my first time... He was one of my best friends but he also went out with my best friend for a little bit a couple of months back. I feel so ...
A. 29 June 2010: 1 - Lie about what happened. Just say you don't have a clue about what happened.
2 - Do not get drunk again. You can't handle your drink and this proves it.... (read in full...)
She is immature and controlling and I don't know if I want to be with her anymore
Q. I started dating this girl about 6 months ago, not long after we started dating I found out she had a boyfriend. She said it was nothing serious and she was just waiting on the right time before she dumped him. I thought that was okay. But then she ...
A. 29 June 2010: You need to dump her. You just need to get away from this seriously troubled girl. ... (read in full...)
My best friend set me up and I am scared he will blackmail me
Q. my bestfriend told me that his cousin is all over him and demanding him to sleep with her, one night he said that she's at their house and he cant resist her anymore and he's so turned on, he said he needs help. i suggested him to mast. maybe he'd ...
A. 29 June 2010: Well you've learnt an important lesson here, and that is that you must never trust a guy who's in a relationship when he's talking about sex. I don't think that he will try to blackmail you at all. He has a girlfriend, so that would ruin him. I just ... (read in full...)
Spending time with 2 men, and I can see my future with both of them! What should I do?
Q. I've been thinking a lot lately...this man I'll call Edward really likes me and has mentioned marriage and kids both jokingly and seriously. I like him but, I made sure not to get too close...he's turning forty this year and I'm nineteen. He lives ...
A. 29 June 2010: Neither man is right for you. If you ever have trouble choosing, it means that neither choice is right, and there is a third elsewhere that is. I think you need to spend time alone, focusing on yourself and your own life.... (read in full...)
Why did my ex decide to help us move in together? I don't understand why he wanted to insert himself into my life like that!
Q. My last ex boyfriend (I ended things, if it matters) and my current boyfriend work together, and although they know each other quite well, they are not anywhere near friends. This past weekend, I moved in with my current boyfriend, and he asked some ...
A. 29 June 2010: I suspect he did to for a certain amount of closure for himself. Maybe seeing you and your boyfriend move in together has helped him to get over you, or something like that. I wouldn't read too much into it. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to date a guy who is 3 years younger than me?
Q. is it wrong for a 16yr old girl to date a 13yr old male...
A. 29 June 2010: I would suggest to you that at your age, it's the wrong move to make. If it was reversed, there would be real questions. And if you were bother over age, it wouldn't matter. As it is, you could be treading a dangerous path. You don't want to end up ... (read in full...)
I don't know what to say or do but I don't want to lose her!
Q. I started seeing a girl over 2 years ago and fell madly n deeply in love with her and was pretty sure she felt the same upuntil last week. She recently moved house and was havin a few beers at home with one of her male house mates and they ended up ...
A. 29 June 2010: Nearly all of us have been in this situation. I remember having a conversation with my ex years ago, where she stated she was worried that she had feelings for her ex. Like the nice guy, I said it would be okay and gave her a bit of time. A week ... (read in full...)
How do I convince him to have a baby?
Q. I have been with my partner since Christmas 2009 - we both have children from previous marriages - my son is 5 and his son is 18 but his son suffers with Dyspraxia. I always said that I wanted two children but obviously with my marriage breakdo...
A. 29 June 2010: All I'm saying is he has made his decision. One thing that I have noticed on this site is the amount of women who try to change men or change men's minds. It never works. Women need to steer clear of attempting to change men. Your husband has said ... (read in full...)
Do you think I should try to regain the friendship with my ex without telling my boyfriend?
Q. What do you consider cheating? I'm sure this is a common question but I have a particular situation in mind, and I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend in the slightest. We've been together for 14 months, and are completely in love. Recently, ...
A. 29 June 2010: No, I do not. For a good reason. You're willing to deceive your boyfriend, and you know it will hurt him to know y're speaking to an ex again. You're going to hurt your boyfriend and deceive him. That's a bad sign on your behalf. I know that 99% of ... (read in full...)
I am only 15 but what do I have to lose if I have a baby?
Q. Help!! My boyfriend and I have been wanting a baby were emotionaly prepared for one i dont go out cuz i dont get along with people especially girls i dont drink and smoke anymore cause i hate it and i no pretty much everything on how to raise a baby ...
A. 29 June 2010: House, car, career, holidays, approx $150,000 to $200,000 per child until they're 18, freedom, sleep, rest days. The list is endless. Too many teenagers like to think they're ready. None of them really are. The big issue is the money. The fact is ... (read in full...)
My best friend cant seem to get past the first date, and I have run out of things to say to him to make him feel better!
Q. Hello, this is a question, not regarding me but my male best friend. Isn't it odd, how you cannot be an agony aunt to yourself, but everyone comes to you with their problems and you can solve them. Well now i have failed. My friend, him ment...
A. 29 June 2010: I would suggest that he's either coming across as far to desperate to find a girlfriend, or he needs to look at the type of women he's attracted to. Women will smell his lack of esteem in himself, so he will scare the good ones and make only the ... (read in full...)
Guy sending me emotional messages but sleeping with someone else.
Q. I am in touch with a person younger to me who sends me emotional messages. He has been honest to tell me that he is sleeping with another girl. at times he has expected more commitment from me than i feel i should be owing to him. i do not know if i ...
A. 29 June 2010: DO NOT bother with this man anymore. In no way is he committed to you, and he's trying to use you and this other woman. He's not worth your time.... (read in full...)
What makes a man become violent in a relationship?
Q. What makes a man become violent in a relationship? my partner became that way towards me when our daughter was 2. It started with pushing and then one day we argued and he pushed me to the floor put his foot on my head leaving his boot inprint and ...
A. 29 June 2010: Every single one of those problems will have had something to do with his relationship with his father. A person's childhood is where they learn nearly all their behaviour. It is very rare that someone becomes violent due to their adulthood. It's ... (read in full...)
I want to do it with the right guy, and I'm not sure he is! Help!
Q. hey i am 16 and my boyfriend is 18. we've been together 6 months on and off he wants to go further but i'm not sure i kind of want to do it with the right guy and am not sure if he is. Help !!!...
A. 29 June 2010: If you're not sure he is the guy, that means he's not the guy. ... (read in full...)
I'm very worried about our sex life!
Q. Hi, Im 21 involved with a 29 year old guy, and im very woried about our sex life, Sometimes when we make love i became so dry that it hurts and he will take long to cum and when i tell him that he is hurting me he wont stop he just continue and it ...
A. 29 June 2010: If a man hurts you and won't stop, you need to leave him. Simple as that really. He's just hurting you. That's not a sex life, that's a form of abuse. I think you need to look at this relationship. You shouldn't be in it if you're being hurt like ... (read in full...)
How do I convince him to have a baby?
Q. I have been with my partner since Christmas 2009 - we both have children from previous marriages - my son is 5 and his son is 18 but his son suffers with Dyspraxia. I always said that I wanted two children but obviously with my marriage breakdo...
A. 29 June 2010: It may be a chance you want to take, but he has made it more than clear it won't happen. The vasectomy was meant to be permanent because he doesn't want another child. It's not the disability that worries him. He had his child, and just doesn't want ... (read in full...)
Who has gone too far. Me or Him???
Q. what the?? OK so I'm 29 and my boyfriend is 44. he has many girlfriends and is very social, and i love this about him. we've worked in the same salon together for 8 yrs, been living together 1 of the 2 yrs we've been dating. generally very happy. ...
A. 29 June 2010: Well, you suspected something and rightfully you've tried to find out. Now it would seem that you know the truth. He's most likely cheating. I think you just need to tell him and then end it. ... (read in full...)
Wifey or Home wrecker?
Q. I've been with my girl for 2 and a half years,but for 2 of those years she's been my side chick. To make a long story short, I caught feelings for her, left my girlfriend, and now we're official, but come to find she`s been a side chick before. ...
A. 29 June 2010: I think so. There are some women who feed off 'taken' men because it makes them feel better about themselves. More to the point, why did you cheat in the first place with someone like her. I'm pointing fingers at both of you here. ... (read in full...)
I want to stop being his victim and start living without fear!
Q. I'm just so stressed out, my husband was a serial cheater who I refused to call quits with as he always lied he's way out of every dodgy situation. I left him when I was pregnant and things went from bad to worse, with him getting violent ...
A. 29 June 2010: To have confidence, you have to have something to back it up. No one just 'has confidence'. Right now, the only reason that he can do what he does is that no one knows who he really is. So the best thing you can do is show them, literally. He won't ... (read in full...)
Should we sow our seeds first, then get back together?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over six years now. We love each other very much and work so well together. We have lived together for five years and have only ever had small fights that we worked through. I want to grow old together and have his ...
A. 29 June 2010: No, I don't think it will work. The truth is that if you really loved him enough, you wouldn't be feeling this way. Realistically, you can't just say to him that you need to break up, then go have fun and come back together. The mind may work like ... (read in full...)
I really like this girl, but we've been friends for so long
Q. There is a girl I really like. The only problem is we've been friends for two years. I think she might like me but I'm not sure. What do I do from here?...
A. 29 June 2010: There's only one way, and that's to talk to her. You don't want to send any mixed messages if you're friends, because she will end up confused. You need to talk to her and tell her how you feel. ... (read in full...)
Will he ever grow up?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2years July frist he is a great guy but he won't get a job he won't get a drivers lisence . We moved in together and I pay all the and I'm 20 and he's 22. Will he ever grow up?...
A. 29 June 2010: Oh dear. You did the classic female thing and that that he would mature and change if you told him to. He hasn't. And he won't. You've gone and walked into it. You should never have moved in while he was like this. I'd suggest that you now set him a ... (read in full...)
How can I help the love of my life see his mother is abusive
Q. I was with the most perfect man for 2 years, until just over 5 wks ago when he ended out relationship. We were both madly in love and we got on perfectly, I have four children from a past relationship and he doesnt have any but he was cool with...
A. 29 June 2010: You may love him, you may want to help him, you may want to keep contact and you may even think you can handle his mother. But the fact is when push came to shove, he chose her over you, and has now made it clear that you're not a person he can have ... (read in full...)
He cheated and gave me a STD
Q. My boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me a couple months ago. We've been working on our relationship and trust but i recently found out I contracted a std that resulted in a early miscarriage. Since I have been faithful all 5 years, my boyfriend must ...
A. 29 June 2010: I'm not sure you should forgive a man who didn't even have protection when he cheated and did what he did to you in terms of the miscarriage. If my gf had no respect and cheated and gave me an STD, that would be a dealbreaker. It could have been ... (read in full...)
My wife is suddenly associating with her ex. I can't stand him.
Q. All marriages have their troubles. All of a sudden, my wife has started talking to her ex again. She knows I can't stand him. She has gone out with him and his friends on several occasions lately. She claims it's always a group and she's never ...
A. 29 June 2010: You need to do P.I yourself. This is beyond suspicious. I don't think you'll like what you'll find, but it's worth it.... (read in full...)
I haven't told my parents that I'm dating a 22 year old, they think he's a pervert!
Q. Heeyy im natasha im 15 yearss, im sorta in love with my boyfriend who is 22 years oldd he is a really nice lad and im really scared what will happen in the future. He is the same hight as me and looks after me really nicely. i no his family very ...
A. 29 June 2010: Would you honestly let your underage daughter see a man in his twenties? ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hates my best friend!
Q. I have a friend who's 26 years old and likes to hang out with girls who are nearly 10 years his junior (i.e., girls who are still in high school). Aside from this oddity, he's a great guy. My girlfriend, however, is starting to have problems with ...
A. 29 June 2010: Do you really want to know what your girlfriend sees? A paedophile. That's what she sees. Under-age teenage girls? What if you two had a daughter? Would you really be happy for him to be around her, given that he is a drunk, hangs around with ... (read in full...)
I want to stop being his victim and start living without fear!
Q. I'm just so stressed out, my husband was a serial cheater who I refused to call quits with as he always lied he's way out of every dodgy situation. I left him when I was pregnant and things went from bad to worse, with him getting violent ...
A. 29 June 2010: The best thing I ever heard was a woman who had the same problem as you. You know what she did? She recorded every conversation, every phone call, and even hid a camera in her living room and in her hallway to record what happened. She got all her ... (read in full...)
My wife is suddenly associating with her ex. I can't stand him.
Q. All marriages have their troubles. All of a sudden, my wife has started talking to her ex again. She knows I can't stand him. She has gone out with him and his friends on several occasions lately. She claims it's always a group and she's never ...
A. 29 June 2010: 2 weeks and she's been out with an ex four times. Her excuse is that she hasn't been feeling herself. She stays out all hours! I think you need to silently and quietly find out exactly what she is up to here, because this is as suspicious as it ... (read in full...)
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