| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
Boyfriend is looking at videos of him and his ex having sex
Q. If my boyfriend is looking at videos of him and his ex having sex should I confront him or leave? ...
A. 11 July 2010: To be honest, if I thought my girlfriend was doing that, I think it would hurt enough for me to leave. This isn't just porn, this is him watching himself with his ex. That's pretty degrading towards you really. I'm not sure it's worth talking about ... (read in full...)
Worried about meeting my online love!
Q. Hello, My older sister reccommended this site to me because I'm having difficulty deciding what I should do. I am 20 years old and the guy I am online dating is 19. We met on an internet chat room about 6 months ago. We talk online daily, have ...
A. 11 July 2010: Hmm. I'll be honest, this sounds a bit unsafe. I mean, men and women will both say things once they've earned each other's trust and are further along in a relationship. But this guy hasn't met you, and to be saying all this even after 6 months ... (read in full...)
He hates my children!
Q. my new partner hates my children!!! I have been with my partner for 3 years we have 2 little girls together. i was previously married and have 2 children with my ex wife i see them once a fortnight friday to sunday. when they come to stay all we do ...
A. 11 July 2010: This is a woman you should not be with. How dare she suggest that you don't love her if you see your old kids. I hate to tell you this, and you might not like it, but it's time to man up and kick this partner's ass out. Your other kids will hate ... (read in full...)
He doesn't know it... but I heard my friend jerking off!!!
Q. Ok so I (a girl) have a really close guy friend, who i secretly really like. We talk about anything. One night, I stayed at his house (just because) and we ended up sleeping in the same bed for warmth. So we talked for ages and I tried to get to ...
A. 11 July 2010: I'm afraid he's a horny young teenager with one thing on his mind. Sex. But it rather shows up as a guy that perhaps you shouldn't be sleeping with. Be safe. You don't want to wind up in trouble. ... (read in full...)
Should I ignore his ex and ask him out anyway?
Q. I am in love with a guy I have known for so many years and I think he likes me too. The only problem is, his ex-girlfriend is (or was, when she found out I like him) one of my friends. She is willing to do ANYTHING to stop me from being with him. ...
A. 11 July 2010: She is his EX girlfriend. And she is NOT a friend of yours anymore. So you have every right to ask him out. Who cares what she thinks. No one. ... (read in full...)
Can't seem to walk away from a man that I do not love.
Q. [OP original title] I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years but I know I am not in love with him. My previous relationship left a deep wound in my heart and he was the first person to make me feel whole again and something inside me just won't let ...
A. 11 July 2010: You must leave your boyfriend. You don't love him at all, and it's unfair to keep him around like a lap dog. He's just your safety blanket and nothing else. That's it. It'll only be a matter of time before you cheat with this other guy or another ... (read in full...)
Husband in Love with me and his old girlfriend, help
Q. My husband and I have been married 4 years separate for 3 years on and off. After all this time we have finally decided to give it a try again living under the same roof he moved back in to the home. I had kicked him out 3 years ago because he was ...
A. 11 July 2010: End it. He's made his decision, and his decision is her. He basically wants you to do his laundry and all the other so called 'duties' that he will think you need to do. He's also been on dating sites as well. He's got the best of both worlds, and ... (read in full...)
Will he end up drinking again?
Q. My boyfriend has been in prison since January 2, 2010. His parole hearing is coming up next month. He was on parole before I met him. The first two years of our relationship he has done great. Had a really good job and always was very helpful ...
A. 11 July 2010: I will say this to you. It could be that this is a problem that escalated so much that he has changed because of prison. However, I'm very sceptical of people changing (it takes years, not just a few months), so I would be very wary of him as to ... (read in full...)
I need help guys!!! How do I get him to like me more and ask me out?
Q. I have this friend who I really like. he's 15, and we talk to each other nearly every day. Sometimes he's really nice, and he'll hold my hand or stroke my hair, stuff like that, and he always hugs me. But some days he'll just ignore me and talk to ...
A. 11 July 2010: You're still young, and like all young women, you've got a lot to learn about men. The first thing you need to know about men is that when it comes to emotions, when it comes to seeing all those little hints and such, we're like a closed door. All ... (read in full...)
How to move on when badly hurt?
Q. Help! Since my boyfriend ended things suddenly three months ago I am getting more angry and depressed as time goes on, rather than feeling any better. I can look back now and see that he was insincere and didn't love me like he said he did. He ...
A. 11 July 2010: You're little last sentence is almost the key to this. You say you're sorry. Even though he's treated you this way, you're the one saying sorry. You have every right to rant, but you seem to think that it's wrong to, or that you shouldn't. The time ... (read in full...)
Is it better to be wanted or needed?
Q. Here's a bit of a hypothetical question which has been bugging me... In a relationship do you think its better to be wanted or needed? Why? ...
A. 11 July 2010: It's better to be wanted. That denotes love, affection, care and such. When you're wanted, you'll also be needed as well anyway. But to be needed alone is dangerous. Either the other person is terribly insecure, or they're taking you for granted. ... (read in full...)
He keeps checking out other girls when I'm with him!
Q. I've been living with my boyfriend for about five years. My problem is when we are out together I always catch him checking other women out and I know guys and women will check a good looking person out but it bothers me that he does this when I'm ...
A. 11 July 2010: This doesn't mean he's not trustworthy. As you've realized, everyone will check someone else out at some point, basically because it's natural to. What it does prove, however, is that he's somewhat tactless about it all. I think you can just speak ... (read in full...)
He got really mad with me and now won't answer my calls! Help!
Q. I am with my boyfriend but another guy fell for me. I introduced him to my prince to stop him from disturbing me but he said if can never forget about me in front of my boyfriend and another girl he was then dating. My guy asked me to stop seeing ...
A. 11 July 2010: I'd give him a few days to take all this in. I'm afraid from his perspective, it doesn't look good. This other guy liked you, and your' boyfriend felt threatened enough that he asked you not to see him and then you did. So he's probably thinking ... (read in full...)
Which should I follow... my mind or my heart?
Q. I don't know which one should I follow... my mind or my heart??? I know in my mind that she's really not for me. My mind always tells me to leave her because I know in the future she will be gone for me, We're not happy any more and we're always ...
A. 11 July 2010: You need to listen to your head. Your head is saying she's not the one, neither of you are happy, you're fighting, there's jealously. To be honest, this is a toxic relationship that seems to be going no further. Listen to your head, leave her and ... (read in full...)
Help!!! Am I still a virgin??? What should I do?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. We love each other. We've being practicing oral sex but always with my pants on. He does not want to have penetrative sex with me before we get married. Even though he sucks and squeezes my breasts, he ...
A. 11 July 2010: You are a virgin until you have sexual intercourse, which means a man's penis must enter your vagina. So yes, you're still a virgin. ... (read in full...)
Is this man I really liked a con, sex addict and fraudster?
Q. hi i just got back from turkey i fell in love with a beautiful man working on beach and in bars. he wrote me a note to meet him that night, i was shocked as i had not really spoke to him i went and he told me a story about someone conning him for ...
A. 11 July 2010: Girl, wake up! This man is taking your money! He's a crook. No wonder he's deleted you. You said no. Just forget him. ... (read in full...)
Is my husband's workload killing our sex life?
Q. Can too much work on computer kill sex drive? My husband works 14 hours a day,7 days a week. And he is totally non sexual ,and when he tries sex, he gets some erection,but losing it,at penetration. Now I know,it sounds weird,but I thought maybe it ...
A. 11 July 2010: If he's just sat there doing nothing but working on a computer for that amount of time, then it will be part to blame for your lack of sex life. An active, healthy man tends to have an active, healthy sex life. He needs to come off that computer and ... (read in full...)
Is my husband's workload killing our sex life?
Q. Can too much work on computer kill sex drive? My husband works 14 hours a day,7 days a week. And he is totally non sexual ,and when he tries sex, he gets some erection,but losing it,at penetration. Now I know,it sounds weird,but I thought maybe it ...
A. 11 July 2010: If he's just sat there doing nothing but working on a computer for that amount of time, then it will be part to blame for your lack of sex life. An active, healthy man tends to have an active, healthy sex life. He needs to come off that computer and ... (read in full...)
Do I risk losing the relationship with my family and my kids for a relationship with him
Q. Hi, I left my fiance, 5 year relationship because id had enough of his anger and violence. He didnt hit me but did a lot of yelling, broken many things, thown things at me, attacked his kids when enraged, kicked property etc, lost the respect of ...
A. 11 July 2010: Have you ever heard this line?
Mother is the word for God on the lips of every child.
I forget who said it. But it basically means this. Your first duty in life, is to protect your children from men like this. That is your DUTY. If you go ... (read in full...)
Should I confront him about the Viagra?
Q. Hi, I am a 20 year old female. I've been with my boyfriend for about 10 months now. He is absolutely wonderful and I love him. Our sex life also has been good but there were couple times he had some trouble performing. A few days ago, I found pre...
A. 10 July 2010: Not a good idea. It would seriously damage him if you said anything. Let him come to you, if he wants. If you say something to him, it could make him feel worse. When he is ready, he will say something. ... (read in full...)
My mom doesn't like me dating my friend!
Q. A month ago I started a rebound relationship with my best friend. it was a mutual rebound but in the past month we started falling for each other. Then he found out he was moving, and moved about a hour away from here. The only problem is, my mom ...
A. 10 July 2010: A few years ago, I didn't listen to my mother over something. I paid the price, and she could have said 'I told you so'. Fortunately, she didn't. I hate to tell you this, bit more than frequently mother's are right. If she doesn't trust him, there ... (read in full...)
Does anyone out there ever look at their life& realise this isn't what your life was meant to be like?
Q. Does anyone out there ever look at their life and realise this isn't what your life was meant to be like? I'm 27 and am probably going through some life crisis lol! The thing is I know what I DON'T want out of life but I don't know what I ...
A. 10 July 2010: You're not the only one. I'm next to broke. So I'll be starting from the bottom floor all over again. I'm afraid it's very much a case of taking a deep breath and stepping out into the unknown. Some people do it and it works out, some do it and it ... (read in full...)
He wants friends with benefits but I'm a virgin. Do I tell him?
Q. I'm 20 and part of me is worried I'm still a virgin but the other part i don't care and it's something I am proud of because I have done it out of choice. I don't want to lose it in a one night stand even though theres been several oppotunities. I ...
A. 10 July 2010: If you do it with this guy, to be honest, you'll have wasted your time keeping it. Here's why. You say he's just broken up with his girlfriend. Well, that makes you his rebound. He's just after sex, and just after using you. You know you want to ... (read in full...)
She keeps requesting me as a friend on Facebook, and I keep denying her, but she's persisting! What is she thinking?
Q. Alright to make this short and quick as possible, my ex dragged me on with her for 6months. I basically waited for her. I decided to move on and so I'm like alright imma just delete her off facebook and I did this was like a week ago, and like a ...
A. 10 July 2010: She's thinking that you're still the man who can be dragged along. Some people do this. I wouldn't bother with her. Continue not to take notice. ... (read in full...)
Do I risk losing the relationship with my family and my kids for a relationship with him
Q. Hi, I left my fiance, 5 year relationship because id had enough of his anger and violence. He didnt hit me but did a lot of yelling, broken many things, thown things at me, attacked his kids when enraged, kicked property etc, lost the respect of ...
A. 10 July 2010: I can solve this puzzle now. Why would you go back to a man who attacked you verbally, attacked his kids and possibly even your children? Why? Because you think he will change? Because he promised? In five years he didn't change. You know the ... (read in full...)
How do I express the things I didn't get to say to my ex?
Q. I still have some anger and things i left unsaid to my ex. My mom suggested writing a letter. I'm considering writing a facebook message and sending it to him, just to express how I feel so I don't have to bottle the emotions up. Does it seem like a ...
A. 10 July 2010: I'm not sure sending him anything would be a good idea. Try writing a letter to him, but instead of sending it, burning it. The relationship between you is over, and the worst thing to do is then send a load of anger over the computer towards him. ... (read in full...)
Why he doesn't want to be in a relationship?
Q. This guy is single but doesn't want to be in any relationship right now. He was on the process of divorcing his wife and he was discussing with me how he lost that trust to women. We are friends or a little more than friends but we're not in a bf-gf ...
A. 10 July 2010: You'll find that it is a mixture of both the divorce and losing trust in women. Both these things need time, I'm afraid. What you don't want is to be his rebound and wind up getting used. Right now, this guy needs your support as a friend, not as ... (read in full...)
I'm just "not in the mood" very often!
Q. I have been married for eight year.I have three kids.For the last two year I have been having Problems with my husband.I simple don't feel like having sex very often.Maybe four to five times a month.My husband is a wonderful man and he means the ...
A. 10 July 2010: You have three kids for starters, so I'd be willing to bet the following things.
1 - You probably bear the brunt of the childcare and chores, meaning you're tired.
2 - You and your husband are not spending enough quality time together that doe... (read in full...)
Why is his main priority hanging out now?
Q. So its abit of a complicated situation but basically me and my best guy friend flirted alot and i liked him more then a friend, he hadnt had a gf in awhile and often told me he felt lonely, and then one day he got a gf. we didnt see each other for ...
A. 10 July 2010: I think he likes you more than he is letting on. The problem is that he has a girlfriend, so you'd be best to steer clear of him. ... (read in full...)
Why does he think he can treat me like something he just scraped off the bottom of his shoe?
Q. why does he think he can treat me like something he just scraped off the bottom of his shoe? everyday i leave the house at around half nine he will hit me with a nasty name or just try to star a conflict between us. after i have been out gone to ...
A. 10 July 2010: He will do it, because you are accepting it. That's how abusers start. A man (or woman) will be slightly abusive to test the waters and see how you respond. If you take it, they realize they can do more and more. That's what is happening in your ... (read in full...)
She keeps running from me to other guys and back again. What do I do?
Q. A girl and myself started dating 4 years ago. We dated for 3 years and I decided to propose, I did and she accepted. She had became my the beat friend i had ever had and def wanted to spend my life with her. However 3 months after I proposed I found ...
A. 10 July 2010: You've become the comfort blanket to this girl, or the lap dog. I don't mean to make you feel bad there, but that's what you are to her. Every time it goes wrong with a guy she likes, she knows that My Loyal will be there, so she comes running. Then ... (read in full...)
Does anyone out there ever look at their life& realise this isn't what your life was meant to be like?
Q. Does anyone out there ever look at their life and realise this isn't what your life was meant to be like? I'm 27 and am probably going through some life crisis lol! The thing is I know what I DON'T want out of life but I don't know what I ...
A. 10 July 2010: Yep, I'm in the middle of that because my company is going broke thanks to the recession. I know how it feels to know that all your plans are going nowhere. If you're feeling that bad, then it's time to look at changing direction. Because when I ... (read in full...)
No contact will he ever come back to me?
Q. Is it possible that my boyfriend of five months who stopped answering my calls or calling me for three weeks now return to me. Or does this mean he is gone for ever? We did not have a serious problem what happened is that he just stopped taking my ...
A. 10 July 2010: When someone stops contact, it's usually very definitive. So I'm sorry to say that the chances are he will not come back to you. But if he just stopped taking calls and such, maybe he's not that great a guy. If he wanted to end it, he could have ... (read in full...)
Can I buy stuff online without my parents knowledge?
Q. I love my mum,shes wonderful but there are some things that you just cant tell your parents no matter how close you are. My mother has an ebay acount,I'm under 18 and need to buy a breast binder for personal reasons,This isn't something my mum will ...
A. 10 July 2010: You need to be an adult to buy on Ebay, and nearly any other online store. Don't trust the Tiawanese online shop, as it could be a scam. If you're desperate, trust in your mother and tell her what you need and why. But don't trust an online shop ... (read in full...)
Tensing during masturbation?
Q. is it normal to tense your muscles even knees when you masturbate? so you can ejaculate...
A. 10 July 2010: Yes, perfectly normal. You're a normal guy. ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me, but also loves his girlfriend? Help please!
Q. hey guys, hope you can help me in my situation.??Basically me and this guy have known each other for 4 years, we always liked each other, but knew we couldnt do anything about our feelings. We were always very very close mates and always there for ...
A. 10 July 2010: He has a girlfriend. As long as he has a girlfriend, you don't stand a chance. You need to let him go and start getting over him. You couldn't trust him if something happened while he was with her, and even if he left, you'd probably find that he ... (read in full...)
He won't move out and the police don't help..how do I evict my 46yr old drug addicted roommate?
Q. Please help with this problem. I live with a guy who smokes crack frequently. It didn't start out this way years ago when I met him. He was in AA and clean. He started this, unbenownst to me at the time, when he took his first drink again after ...
A. 10 July 2010: If he's smoking crack, have him arrested for that. ... (read in full...)
He's begging to come back but I just don't have the strength. Any comments?
Q. I have been married for almost 17 years, but have been separated for the last 12 months. I separated beacuse I just could not take anymore, the lies, the secrets, etc... He just was not a man, I mean in taking care of the house or me. nor was he a...
A. 10 July 2010: I have only one comment. Don't go back. ... (read in full...)
Can my parents take my phone?
Q. I know this is not a relationship help request but I would like to know... Can my parents take away my phone if they didn't pay or it and I did with my own money...
A. 10 July 2010: Yep, then can. Until you're an adult, it's their rules. ... (read in full...)
Guys, why don't you just call?
Q. I need male input - why do you all of a sudden disappear? and are there certain rules to follow when texting/calling a girl? this baffles me! I did not come on too strong nor talked relationship, ex, or sexual. what's the deal?...
A. 10 July 2010: It depends on the guy and it depends on what he's feeling. Some guys won't disappear at all. Others will.
Basically, the first general reason is this. Women (in my opinion) can really look at their own emotions very quickly, and are often sure abou... (read in full...)
Why did he sleep with her?
Q. *OP's Original Title* Okay well my ex boyfriend and I broke up. Why is because he wanted to do things that i didnt and anyway he crashed my facebook and put all over it that i am goin gay and im a slut and everyting like that. Well know he claims ...
A. 10 July 2010: The connection you feel is probably more like a death row inmate who is sat in an electric chair, not the connection two people who love each other should feel. Look at this list.
1 - He wanted to do things you didn't.
2 - When you did break up... (read in full...)
Is this man I really liked a con, sex addict and fraudster?
Q. hi i just got back from turkey i fell in love with a beautiful man working on beach and in bars. he wrote me a note to meet him that night, i was shocked as i had not really spoke to him i went and he told me a story about someone conning him for ...
A. 9 July 2010: He is a BIG fraudster. Cut all contact. Immediately. ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
