| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
I don't feel any attraction towards my husband any more...
Q. I do not feel any physical/sexual attraction to my husband... I cringe when he touches me.... There was never strong passion on my side, but rather a marriage of convenient timing and my biological clock that was ticking. Now after 10 years of ...
A. 18 July 2010: Sorry, my answer was cut off.
What I was saying that to be having with an 18 month affair with a man who is married and you know won't leave his wife, is really the death of your marriage. You need to leave your husband. He does deserve a woma... (read in full...)
What is this guy on????
Q. I wanted to know if its disrespectful when you just met a guy gave him your number then 3 hours later the first call he's calling you asking if i wanna go sauna with him and his male friends??? i said no i aint gonna go sauna with you and your ...
A. 18 July 2010: If there was ever a guy who is just desperate to get you into bed, this is the guy. All he's after is getting you into bed, and that's it. There's no romance here at all. Nothing. You can find a better guy. ... (read in full...)
I don't feel any attraction towards my husband any more...
Q. I do not feel any physical/sexual attraction to my husband... I cringe when he touches me.... There was never strong passion on my side, but rather a marriage of convenient timing and my biological clock that was ticking. Now after 10 years of ...
A. 18 July 2010: An 18 month affair? That's the death. End it. ... (read in full...)
I'm growing bored of my boyfriend...
Q. I've been dating my bf for 2 years now. I've grown bored of him. I had an emotional affair for 4 months, but ended it when I decided I wanted to stay loyal to my bf. I've tried to rekindle the romance, I've tried special dates, new activities, ...
A. 18 July 2010: Let's face it. This guy isn't the one. You had an emotional affair, and even when you stopped that, the romance had gone. He's not the one, and you should let him go so he can find someone else who will love him, and you can find someone else who ... (read in full...)
What I told my teacher was totally confidential. Is she allowed to tell anyone?
Q. okay this is more just about me getting closure but im fourteen and i got pregnant when i was thirteen, the day after my fourteenth birthday i told a teacher at my school that im close to and she tried to convince me to get an abortion but i said ...
A. 18 July 2010: I just checked the law for you.
1 - Teachers are not bound AT ALL by confidentiality laws. There are no laws that promise confidentiality. In other words, they can inform others about what is happening if the feel the need to.
2 - By law, the... (read in full...)
Why he left our friendship for his girlfriend's selfish insecurities?
Q. Just as I was having the most spectacular day, my friend (guy) MSN's me saying we can no longer interact over MSN and of course, that ruined my day. I didn't want to get emotional over It 'cause I knew that wouldn't change anything. I kept needling ...
A. 18 July 2010: Push came to shove, I'm afraid. And when that happens, the girlfriend wins. If she doesn't, then the relationship is effectively over. For the sake of his relationship, he did the right thing. This girl clearly did not know that you and he were ... (read in full...)
Help! I would like to know where I stand with him... but how can I put it to him?
Q. Hi i have been texting this guy i met on a nite out for the last two months its all goin well, i have met up with him a few times and we have gone for dinner ect and we have slept together. He is the one to text me every day so we talk all of the ...
A. 18 July 2010: Ask him where he sees this relationship going, and listen carefully to what he says. That's the only real way. Just sit down with him and ask him where he sees the relationship going. ... (read in full...)
Condoms! We don't use them, why do you have them?
Q. Serious problem! I've been in a relationship with my guyfriend for the last three years, and during this time we have never used condoms during intimacy. A couple of weeks ago, I discovered condoms in his nightstand, and he hurriedly rushed over ...
A. 18 July 2010: I've got a bad feeling about this one. Way to many excuses, all too quickly. As soon as you'd seen them, he closed the drawer and then suggested that there was no one else. He said they were old condoms, and then went on to change his story and that ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with him, but he's still with his girlfriend!
Q. im in love with my boyfriend but he still has a girlfriend i knew he had a girlfriend before we got together but i let my feelings get the best of me and started going out with him anyway.. he tells me he's not happy with her anymore and what they ...
A. 18 July 2010: You're not his girlfriend. She's his girlfriend. You're just his bit on the side. There's no easy way to say that at all. But you're being used here. He's a cheat, and will always be a cheat. He's cheating on her with you, and he will cheat on you ... (read in full...)
Is there anything we can do to keep him from getting sore?
Q. Hi all my partner and i have been together for two and a half years now and have a six month old daughter. He is 20 and i am 19, I have really been enjoying sex lately and want it all the time, we have had it the last 2 days but only once per day,...
A. 18 July 2010: Without changing position, you'll find that it'll get a little sore. Might be an awesome position, but if you want sex more often, you need to change position. ... (read in full...)
We just got married, but he doesn't want to have sex every night!
Q. My husband of only 2 weeks doesn't want to have sex every night, Is this normal?...
A. 18 July 2010: At his age, more than likely. (I'm assuming he is also in his 50's)... (read in full...)
We just got married, but he doesn't want to have sex every night!
Q. My husband of only 2 weeks doesn't want to have sex every night, Is this normal?...
A. 18 July 2010: At his age, more than likely. (I'm assuming he is also in his 50's)... (read in full...)
I regret not giving him my virginity. We broke up so how can I get him back?
Q. My boyfriend has left me for another girl, as i did not satisfy him sexually. We have been together for 9 months and all i have given him was 2 blow jobs which i did reluctantly. His last attempt to have sex with me was rejected by me. Thereafter he ...
A. 18 July 2010: Why do you want him back? All he wanted was sex. That was it. He was just after sex and nothing else. If you let him back into your life and give him sex, he'll just use you like this other girl and leave you when he gets bored. If he had loved ... (read in full...)
How can I make her feel lucky and not trapped in our relationship?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for close to 4 years. She recently broke up with me. She says she always feels trapped and "obligated" to talk to me. She's broken up with me in the past (about 3times). Everytime she does she says she "needs ...
A. 17 July 2010: You do need to cut contact, and you can do it. :). You really need to. You know what will happen if you don't. She'll come back, you'll let her in, then in a year, she'll end it again. That's how this is going to play. ... (read in full...)
How can I make her feel lucky and not trapped in our relationship?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for close to 4 years. She recently broke up with me. She says she always feels trapped and "obligated" to talk to me. She's broken up with me in the past (about 3times). Everytime she does she says she "needs ...
A. 17 July 2010: You can cut her any time you like. I think you're choosing not to because you think she will change. Well, she won't. And the longer you continue with her, the more you waste your own life. Call her, tell her that it's over and you never want to ... (read in full...)
How do I know if it is worth it?
Q. *OP's Original Title* Background: i just got out of a 14 yr abusive marraige and ended up re-connecting with an old friend - we hit it off perfectly and became lovers. When we are together it is the most wonderful feeling. I have never felt lov...
A. 17 July 2010: Oh dear. I think you've gone from one abusive man to another. It's quite common. I think you need to be alone, right now, focusing on yourself and your kids. But don't continue with this guy. You've just come out of one abusive relationship, and ... (read in full...)
How can I make her feel lucky and not trapped in our relationship?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for close to 4 years. She recently broke up with me. She says she always feels trapped and "obligated" to talk to me. She's broken up with me in the past (about 3times). Everytime she does she says she "needs ...
A. 17 July 2010: This isn't your problem. This is hers. She's not ready for a relationship in any way. You're more like the safe bet. When she feels lonely and vulnerable, she'll always come to you. But when she's in too far, she'll go away again. This is now the ... (read in full...)
My boss is married and we had a short affair.. I'm confused and just want closure.
Q. Hi, I'm a single mom 3 years ago. After what happen to me to the father of my baby it happen second time around but this time i was falling inlove with a married man and they dont have child since his wife cant give him a child that he want. At ...
A. 17 July 2010: You have been used. Completely. That's your closure, and this is the price of having an affair with a married man. The only real way to lesson your pain is to change jobs. Other than that, you're just going to have to go into work every day and bit ... (read in full...)
Should I just pretend I don't know about my husband's one night stands as long as he comes home after the fun?
Q. My hubby treats me and the kids very well..we have been a loving couple for years. Recently I found out that even before we were married, he has been out for monthly one night stands (he usually says he is out entertaining clients when he comes home ...
A. 17 July 2010: And if he comes home with AIDS? Or gives you the HPV virus that leads to cervical cancer. Or if he comes home and says that he's got another women pregnant and has to sell the house, the car and leaves your kids stuffed?
Basically, he doesn't love... (read in full...)
My husband left me but why doesn't he initiate divorce and what am I entitled to?
Q. my husband of 21 years walked out on me 19 months ago because he had a mid life crises,he lives with his parents but has a girl friend 13 years younger than himself,she has a 3 year old son (not my husbands). i would like a divorce,he does nothing ...
A. 17 July 2010: First of all, don't wait for him to initiate the divorce. He may not be doing it because he doesn't want to be seen as bad or something. I don't know. But you have just reason to initiate a divorce yourself, in that he left you. As far as rights go, ... (read in full...)
I wonder why my ex can be so nice to his new girlfriend, while I am just someone he cheated on and dumped.
Q. I recently met up with a friend of my ex whom i broke up with almost a year ago. He has cheated on me with another girl who is currently still his girlfriend. His friend said that they have just bought an apartment together. The first thing that ...
A. 17 July 2010: I bet he was nice to you as well first. That's how it starts. Oh yes, he's being nice now, in the first year. But in five years, will he still be nice to her? Who knows.
More importantly, why are you contacting him? You must have hear the sayi... (read in full...)
I cheated on my b/f again and this time I'm afraid to tell him
Q. So I have been with my bf for 2yrs...Within that time we both have cheated...But were still together...I kno your prolly think why were together still..We both understand where were comin from when we both did it..I kno a relationship shouldnt be ...
A. 17 July 2010: It's the best thing really. ... (read in full...)
How can I fix things between us and kick this other girl to the curb?
Q. so ive been with my boyfrined, Scott for over 4 months... im always worried about him cheating, but its never really bugged me, cause i never thought hed do it, well there was this girl Bella, that i askedt o him to stop talking to, he did, and then ...
A. 17 July 2010: He's got you both, that's why. Twice the slave work, all the sex, all the fun. No he doesn't care. You can't tell. No one can tell. He's faking care, that's for sure, but like a lot of women before you, you're not really looking at the facts. This ... (read in full...)
Why do you men act like this the morning after?
Q. I am so sad. This is what happened yesterday. I am traveling now, in a small town, where i only know one person. He took me out to this upscale place. We are just friends, i know him for 15 years, so when we are out we can do whatever we want. ...
A. 17 July 2010: But the friendliness was merely a cover. One night stands, by definition, aren't about mornings after and being kind. They're about sex, and that's it. You will meet men who are happy to talk the day after. You will meet men who don't give a damn. ... (read in full...)
2 buddies with boyfriends and me single!
Q. I have a problem with my friends. We were 3 close friends till 6 months ago, till they found boyfriends. Now they have dates and i'm single, so we do not spend that much time together. Of course I have other friends but they are not only childish ...
A. 16 July 2010: Well, the time has come for you to get out there and make a few more friends. You're right not to go out with a guy who you don't love. That's a good decision. So, instead, focus on your own life. Start a new hobby, go out and meet new people, start ... (read in full...)
I forgot the real date of his birthday!!!
Q. What should i do now? July 16th is my boyfriend's birthday but i thought it is july 17th. On july 16th, he had to go to another country for a few days and we would not be able to contact each other by phone or email so in our conversation, i said ...
A. 16 July 2010: God, you're making a big drama out of this, aren't you! First up, you're not the worst girlfriend in the world. I got a great present on my birthday a few years ago when my girlfriend cheated on me. So you're not the worst by a mile. Look, it's your ... (read in full...)
His friend has ruined our chances of ever getting together!
Q. Hey.... I really like this guy but i dont think he likes me because i used to date his best friend and i broke up with him and he told the guy i like that im mean and im an idiot and stuff like that and i think he believes him.. I have known him ...
A. 16 July 2010: I don't think he would go out with you anyway. He'd see it as stabbing his friend in the back. This is one you need to let go. Nothing will come of it. You can try to prove it all you like, but if he's a good friend, he won't go out with his best ... (read in full...)
Confused and torn, help me get over my past mistake!
Q. i am a real pickle. i have been in a loving relationship with my partner for 3 years now and we are still going strong. back at christmas i had an affair with someone from uni. my partner knows and we have sorted all of this out. the guy i had an a...
A. 16 July 2010: I'm sorry to say this, but you don't love your boyfriend enough to stay with him. The time has come for you to be single again, and out there working on yourself. If you loved your boyfriend enough, you wouldn't have cheated, and you wouldn't be in ... (read in full...)
She's stuck up!!!
Q. Dear Cupid, this is a simple question. What does it mean when a guy tells a girl she's "stuck up".... thanks a lot =)...
A. 16 July 2010: It means one of two things.
1 - That she thinks she's better than she really is, and acts a little snobby towards others, or treats others as if they are below her.
2 - (and the more likely), is that he likes her and is annoyed that she won't gi... (read in full...)
I feel like she's tricking me into having kids...
Q. I have 2 questions: My GF is 40, never been in a committed relationship (just FWB) and wants to get married and have a family. I love her, but am getting on after a divorce and while I can see myself with her, just dont have the mindset to think...
A. 16 July 2010: You're really asking for it if you're having unprotected sex with her and you don't want kids. Depending on how healthy she is, the scientists like to say that there is between 1 10% chance and 25% chance that she will get pregnant at her age.
N... (read in full...)
Girlfriend of 5 years has become disinterested
Q. I'm a 27 year old guy and have been with my girlfriend for 5 years. We moved in together 2 years ago and for the first year everything was great, the 1st four years of our relationship was exactly what I wanted, we were communicative, we laughed, ...
A. 16 July 2010: I think you should end it. I get the feeling that this girl thought she was ready for real commitment, but she really just isn't at all. You're right, you do seem to be there just for the sex and nothing else. It's not fair of her to play you like ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend my ex was married?
Q. Hello I have got a new boyfriend who is very special to me, the problem is do i tell him that my ex boyfriend was married when he asks about previous boyfriends or do you think he won't ask me anything?...
A. 16 July 2010: Not a good plan. A woman who goes out with a married man is often seen as untrustworthy, as a 'player' would be in terms of men. So I wouldn't say anything about it... (read in full...)
Would this bet make a girl mad?
Q. Ok so my question is, would a girl (I`m dating) be mad if she found out about a bet I made with my papa(Grandpa). The bet was that I could wait to have sex till I`m married. The winner gets $500, I feel like I should keep it a secret when I get into ...
A. 16 July 2010: I wouldn't mention this bet. A girl could say that you were betting on her, and not on the act of sex itself. Don't breathe a word about it. If you win, say it was a present. But don't make her think she's part of a bet. ... (read in full...)
My mom found my birth control!!!
Q. Yesterday my mom found my birth control. She's very upset about it however, I am 22 and I don't see the problem in taking it. I am her only child and she has always been very overprotective of me, I don't think she realizes how old I am. I've never ...
A. 16 July 2010: You're 22, and you're making the right decisions about birth control. Your mother will just have to like it. End of. You don't owe her explanations, because you're an adult, and you're using contraception. I think this is very much a case of your ... (read in full...)
When I ask for affection my husband says "Don't you have something better to do?"!!!
Q. I eloped with my husband a year ago. We were really intimate and spent a lot of time together. But for the last six months he's been having one thing after another, a lawsuit, probation, his sister's lawsuit, his friends multiple bf problems. He ...
A. 16 July 2010: Rubbish. Even if you were stressed, that doesn't mean a guy don't hug you, or kiss you. And it certainly doesn't mean he'll say "Don't you have anything better to do". Sorry, but he is that cold. ... (read in full...)
I love her and my kids more than anything, but my trust has gone out the window
Q. I have been married for almost a year and have been with my wife a total of 5 years. We have 2 kids together 3 and 1. Well since february things havent been the same. She took a random trip with a friend out of town to get away and when she got ...
A. 16 July 2010: She must cut contact with this man. No amount of help will do anything unless she cuts contact with this man and focuses on getting this sorted out. She needs to cut contact with this man if she is serious. ... (read in full...)
Sex while swimming! Could I be pregnant?
Q. Okay, So I had sex with my boyfriend while we were swimming. im on the pill i take it everyday at 9 sometimes 10 if i forget. we had sex 2 0r 3 days after i missed a pill due to the drug store closing. he pulled out before he came like i said we ...
A. 16 July 2010: Yes, you can get pregnant. Those sperm are just annoying little Devils at time. You need to make sure that you always keep up to date with contraception, or use a condom. ... (read in full...)
I feel such distance and we live in the same house
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for about ten years with short term break ups here and there. We were engaged last year. He took the ring back from me due to a large argument (long story) and I ended up leaving, I moved into my own apartment. ...
A. 16 July 2010: I think you're deluding yourself a bit with this guy. I know you love him, but this just isn't working out at all. You've had a few break ups before this, and then got engaged and now you're not engaged and broken up again. And to top it off, he's ... (read in full...)
Girls, what does it mean when my wife takes her sexiest panties for a girls weekend?
Q. My wife recently went for a weekend girls trip to Atlantic City. Her girlfriend is recently divorced and is on sort of a sexual rampage, where she has had sex with lots of men in what I would consider immoral circumstances (married guys, MMF, ...
A. 16 July 2010: I don't think that she cheated on you. In fairness, women are far better than men at hiding affairs and such. She wouldn't have left her underwear out for you two see, I don't think. That would have been too obvious. And she was honest about the ... (read in full...)
Why do you men act like this the morning after?
Q. I am so sad. This is what happened yesterday. I am traveling now, in a small town, where i only know one person. He took me out to this upscale place. We are just friends, i know him for 15 years, so when we are out we can do whatever we want. ...
A. 16 July 2010: Sorry, but this was a one night stand and nothing more. That's why he acted that way. If you're looking for care or real affection, don't have one night stands. They're about sex, and that is it. No care, no love, no affection, no reason to say ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my husband leave me alone about smoking?
Q. I'm a smoker, and my husband doesn't like it. I don't understand why he thinks he is allowed to tell me what I can can't do. He said he likes it better when I hide it from him, but I don't see the point in having something so stupid be kept a ...
A. 16 July 2010: I'm thinking that he doesn't want you to die of cancer. Whether you continue is up to you, of course. But I doubt he will stop hassling you about it. At least he cares. I saw my Great uncle die of cancer when I saw three, caused by smoking. I ... (read in full...)
When I ask for affection my husband says "Don't you have something better to do?"!!!
Q. I eloped with my husband a year ago. We were really intimate and spent a lot of time together. But for the last six months he's been having one thing after another, a lawsuit, probation, his sister's lawsuit, his friends multiple bf problems. He ...
A. 16 July 2010: I think you know being with this man was a mistake. There's no love here at all. It's just him getting he wants while you get nothing in return at all. This man is so cold that when you even ask outright for affection, you get no response other than ... (read in full...)
I love her and my kids more than anything, but my trust has gone out the window
Q. I have been married for almost a year and have been with my wife a total of 5 years. We have 2 kids together 3 and 1. Well since february things havent been the same. She took a random trip with a friend out of town to get away and when she got ...
A. 16 July 2010: You know the truth, don't you? I know you do. Because I do to. And I'm sorry for you, because you're being made out to be a bad guy while your wife and her friends are really the ones here who are full of it.
First of all, her friends are eith... (read in full...)
How can I fix things between us and kick this other girl to the curb?
Q. so ive been with my boyfrined, Scott for over 4 months... im always worried about him cheating, but its never really bugged me, cause i never thought hed do it, well there was this girl Bella, that i askedt o him to stop talking to, he did, and then ...
A. 16 July 2010: There was Rachel, there was Becky, there was Bella. And now he's left and you're pregnant. I think you're fighting a losing battle on this one. He's not been in this relationship at all. You're not doing anything wrong yourself, other than believing ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my b/f again and this time I'm afraid to tell him
Q. So I have been with my bf for 2yrs...Within that time we both have cheated...But were still together...I kno your prolly think why were together still..We both understand where were comin from when we both did it..I kno a relationship shouldnt be ...
A. 1 July 2010: End it. Just end it. Neither of you love each other to commit, and now you've cheated again. There's nothing there at all, and both of you are going to get reputations for being untrustworthy. There is no trust or commitment here at all. It's time ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
