| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
Is it right that he leaves me hanging like this?
Q. My long distance boyfriend and I meet over the internet to talk. We had a huge row about a week ago, and we didn't talk for about a week. Then yesterday we got to talk again and things were fine. I had my hopes up that things were going better ...
A. 16 July 2010: LDR's take a huge amount of commitment. A huge amount. I've been in one with one girlfriend, and it didn't work out because she wasn't ready for something that committed. So it ended. I'm now in another, where we both work very hard to see each ... (read in full...)
Do I love him or am I just settling?
Q. So here is my story, I am 26 years old and my boyfriend of two years is 38. I am well educated, as are all my friends. My boyfriend , however, is a complete opposite. He never went to college and he has a really bad job that doesn't pay anything. ...
A. 16 July 2010: You already know, because you can't say to your friends that he's the one and that it doesn't matter what they say, and because you're having to ask our opinion. You've come here very unsure of how you feel, and your friends have picked up on it. ... (read in full...)
Is he really willling to wait for sex?
Q. I have been dating a guy for a month now. We fancied each other before he had the courage to ask me out. I have spent weekends with him and we seem to get on. Within a fortnight, he asked me to be his girlfriend. He has just asked me to meet some of ...
A. 16 July 2010: If he said it, hopefully he means it. To be fair, if he was just out to use you, I don't think he would have asked you to meet family, and I don't think he would happy to wait. I think so long as you continue to get to know each other and such, ... (read in full...)
On again, off again bf needs time, hanging with new girl, what do I do?
Q. okay so i met this guy almost two years ago, and we have been off and on, and im usually the one that breaks up with him, but he says he loves me and he acts like he does, but 2 weeks ago i broke up with him cause he was going to a new school, and ...
A. 15 July 2010: on/off relationships don't work, period. This won't work. This guy isn't interested in a relationship. He's just interested in notches on his bedpost. He doesn't even care that this other girl has a boyfriend. What a waste of time. No matter how ... (read in full...)
Only been with bf six months, have clymadia, how do I tell him??
Q. hi ive been with my boyfriend for 6 months now, i recently had a smear test done ive had urine tests before and nothing showed at all but now I have clymedia and i have no idea on how im going to tell this to him, i have no idea where i got it from! ...
A. 15 July 2010: There is only one way. That's to come out with it. You can't hint or anything like that. You need to sit him down and be honest. I'm sorry, but there is no other way. And he needs to know, because he probably has it and it could make him infertile. ... (read in full...)
How do I get my bf to be more protective of me??
Q. Dear cupid, I really want my boyfriend to be protective over me.. I know it sounds stupid but I really want him to be the protective type, He doesnt really stick up for me much like when other boys try to hug me he doesnt really care too much , b...
A. 15 July 2010: Maybe he's not the jealous type. If you don't want to be hugged, then don't let a guy hug you. You seem to be wanting him to be more jealous, not protective. And that's not a good thing. Because when a man gets jealous, there is no going back and it ... (read in full...)
He has problems, borrows my money, has fits of anger, is this worth it?
Q. Wondering if my boyfriend is going to be worth all the trouble he is causing. He's been in jail because his xwife lied, in court, about him sexually abusing his kids. He's had addictions up until a few years ago which have also gotten him in trouble ...
A. 15 July 2010: I fear you're being more naive than anything. And I think you know it a bit and that's why you're here asking. Please look at the facts with this guy. He's borrowing more and more money, and paying none back. He's got a shocking temper, which could ... (read in full...)
My best friend's bf kissed me plus, what should I do now??
Q. My bestfriend and I were supposed to hangout. It was gonna be her and her boyfriend me and my friend Brent. Her boyfriend was driving us. Both Brent and my bff had to cancel to do something else so me and her bf decided to just go hang at the mall ...
A. 15 July 2010: Stop seeing him NOW. First of all, you're stabbing your friend in the back. That's bad, and believe me that is something that will seriously leave your reputation damaged. If your friend finds out, you'll lose her and other friends, and no guys will ... (read in full...)
Does my man fancy me at all???
Q. Does he really fancy me? Hi! My fella is a typical man of few words - and doesn't like to show his "emotional" side! - I have often wondered if he really fancies me at all. Anyway - today I asked him what attracts him to me - thinking he...
A. 15 July 2010: I'm pretty sure he does fancy you, even if his way of showing it wasn't exactly the most romantic. ... (read in full...)
Can I put sperm inside me and get pregnant that way after we have sex?
Q. if my husband cums on my stomch can i use my fingure to but the sperm inside me will i be able to get preagan if i do it that way?...
A. 15 July 2010: Yes. But I do hope that you're not tricking your husband or anything. The best way to get pregnant is still to have him ejaculate in you. ... (read in full...)
What should I do if my partner is lying to me about guys she is seeing when I am not around?
Q. What should I do if my partner is lying to me about guys she is seeing when I am not around? I am either at work or in the evenings she will stay out late some nights. We know each other very well and have spoken about this but with no solution. ...
A. 15 July 2010: I'd be very suspicious, to be honest. Personally, given her response to all this, I'd secretly find out EXACTLY what she's up to with these guys. This sounds so suspicious. But you need to do it quietly, because you won't get an answer from her. ... (read in full...)
Why has my period late this month?
Q. Hi, I need some advice as I'm probably stressing over something I have no control over. My period is 4 days late. I'm not pregnant as I'm a virgin. I got all my usual symptoms- hunger, bloating, spotty skin, lower abdomen pain but no...
A. 15 July 2010: I would imagine the stress would be the problem here. ... (read in full...)
12 years and 4 kids.. now how did I go from the wife to the mistress?
Q. 12 years and 4 kids.. now how did I go from the wife to the mistress. We broke up 6 months ago due to him cheating with this 20 year female and now as we supposed to be trying to work things out he has moved her in with him. Now we took a step back ...
A. 15 July 2010: He's got his feet well under the table here. Basically, you're being used. And, to be honest, there is no fixing this. You might not believe in divorce. But he's using that against you. He's having his way left, right and centre, and you're now ... (read in full...)
My daughter's lie about her dad raping her broke up our marriage...
Q. Please help me on this.... How can you get your family back on track when a lie so big destroyed it. It started on 7/7/09. I've been with this man since I was 18 at that time I had 2 kids and later found out I was pregnant but not from him with my ...
A. 15 July 2010: I think your daughter, frankly, has been a disgrace and has made a mockery of women who have been raped. To be honest, from my point of view, there would be no way that I'd go back. And I don't think he will either. The kindest thing you can do with ... (read in full...)
Help! Why don't I want to have sex with my boyfriend any more?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together almost five years, and we're eighteen. We're both extremely happy and in love, and we know we will be together for a very long time. But fairly recently, I've stopped wanting to have sex with him and I c...
A. 15 July 2010: Maybe the problem is that you feel like it's a chore because he pressurized you, rather than something a bit more intimate. Perhaps you need more attention from him than him just having his way? You seem to be doing a lot of giving. Get him to do ... (read in full...)
Media teacher crush... Help!
Q. Ok, so I have a crush on my media teacher. He's absolutely gorgeous! I'm 15 and he's 24. So basically he knows I like him, it's a long story why but some people I was friends with found out and told him. It's been really difficult to cope with it ...
A. 15 July 2010: If he knows, it will affect him in the sense that he will now have to be wary of you. And his girlfriend will naturally be out to make sure you don't do a silly teenager thing and try to hook up with him. He doesn't think you're weird. He just has ... (read in full...)
After 10 years of being lonely I thought I had found the perfect man in my new husband, but now we are having so many problems I don't know what to do anymore...
Q. I married a male after my First hubby died. After 10 years of lonely times I found this one having all my desires, least i thought so. First he comes in, changes my home, re-decorated all to his liking. i paid for the re-decorations at my ...
A. 15 July 2010: I'm afraid I'm with married lady. This guy is a bit of a leech to be honest.... (read in full...)
Why do nice guys end up last?
Q. Hello ladies, I have a really deep question which I'm having trouble getting the answers. I'm currently 26, and I've had over 30 Relationships failed, I never gave up but I keep asking myself why. My friend (who is a gal) says that I'm "Too Nice", ...
A. 15 July 2010: I'd suggest that you need to look at the type of girl you're attracted to. I'm a nice guy, and I tried to be nice, but also interesting and such. But I never had any luck, partially because of shyness, partially because I ended up very hurt on two ... (read in full...)
She still loves the father of her child! I love them both but I don't want to be second best....
Q. Hi i have been with my gf for a year now and she is my world, she has a little girl of 7 months who i treat as my own. last night when putting the baby to bed i found a bit of paper on the floor and I read it, it was the start of a diary sa...
A. 15 July 2010: Well, you now know the truth. And there isn't room in the heart for two. Some claim to love two people. I always thinks that means that the person doesn't love either enough to make it worth staying. I think you have to be honest with yourself about ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him how I feel on him or treat him as a friend?
Q. I'm a male and prefer guys. I got a new manager three months ago. He's a great and polite guy with lovely face. I've got feeling at him but he doesn't know. Although I believe that he only likes girls but I can't stop. One night, I just missed him ...
A. 15 July 2010: He he likes women, realistically you need to let him go. You'd be setting yourself up for so much hurt if you said anything, knowing that he wouldn't be interested. I think you need to treat him as a friend, and nothing more. ... (read in full...)
I use the morning after pill instead of contraception after sex, is this going to affect me in the future?
Q. Dear aunts..im in a LRR, but i see my boyfriend 2 or 3 times a month.we dont use a condom.i use morning after pils.my question is: are they not gonna affect me when the time of having babies has arived,like by 'washing away the sperm' ? Do y...
A. 15 July 2010: The morning after pill really is a last resort. At some point, this won't work. You need to get yourself on the Pill, and I would also recommend getting tested for STD's given that you've not been using condoms. You can't afford to put your health ... (read in full...)
I blocked him because it hurt too much to see him moving on with his life, but why has he now blocked me?
Q. On facebook, i block stuff off so I couldn't see updates about my ex. For the time being, it hurts too much to see him moving on with his life. I recently created an event of me going and clubbing and partying with friends, and i guess he saw it, ...
A. 15 July 2010: Because he is also moving on with his life. You made a decision to block your ex, and that's it. Realistically, it's the right decision. I know you're hurt, but you can't sit there worrying about what he's up to when you decided to move on, and you ... (read in full...)
Is it too late to call off the wedding?
Q. i'm 28 years old. i think i got myself into a situation. the person i married isn't very loving, very selfish and complains when he actually has to do something for someone that is sick, me. i am so mad at myself for putting myself into this ...
A. 15 July 2010: Call it off now. Better you call it off now than marry him ten divorce him and realized you wasted years of your life and a lot of money for no good reason. Get away from him.... (read in full...)
Is he really looking for a job?
Q. I met this guy about 2 months ago from the day we met we hit it off . The only thing stoping me to let my guard down and move it to the next level is he doesn't have a JOB ! I have ask him why he don't have a job he told me he has been looking and ...
A. 15 July 2010: Hmm. I was out of work when I met my girlfriend, to be fair. Had no car, no job. But was looking. She took me at my word, and I still have her over a year on (I do have a job now, but will have to change again shortly). It is hard out there right ... (read in full...)
Should I be her hero?
Q. If you could, take a few mins and help me be creative :) normally, i have no problems with girls what so ever. But... this case is different. Ive tried to date her in the past. Once sophomore year. Nearly worked, except best friend was an a...
A. 15 July 2010: A woman once said to me that her idea of a hero was a guy who could look at her in the morning when she was wearing no make up and still love her. We laughed at the time.
But the truth is, she made an important point in a jokey sort of way. Whil... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing by saying 'enough is enough'?
Q. i been with my boyfriend for 4years now.. we decided to move in 2gether wen i was 6mnths pregnant and the problem started wen i gave birth. he'd take all the money and gamble it and leave us with nothing for the whole week .. we both dont work s...
A. 15 July 2010: It depends on what you say by 'enough is enough'. If you mean that you will leave him permanently and never have him back in your life, then yes' you're doing the right thing. But if you mean that you'll just talk to him in the hope he will change, ... (read in full...)
Worried about germs - is this OCD?
Q. How can I deal with my wife's kissing. Yes I have been bothered by the fact that she has dated at least 5 guys. Thankfully she did not do the dirty deed with them. But I am somewhat of a germ-freak, and whenever I kiss her all I can think about is ...
A. 15 July 2010: I think it could be OCD. But only a psychiatrist would be able to tell you for sure. You should probably talk about this with someone, to see what it is. It might be insecurities, but it does sound like OCD to be honest. Like I said though, you ... (read in full...)
If I'm lucky my girlfriend and I have sex once a month
Q. My sex life has been on the decline for the past six months. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for approximately three years, and haven't had anything like this come up. Sure, we fight every so often but we are good at communicating with each ...
A. 15 July 2010: Yep. Sit down with her and pretty much tell her the stuff you've just said. Tell her that you've noticed there has been a decline, and ask her if something is wrong. There must be a reason for it. And at your age, realistically you can't be expected ... (read in full...)
Trying to get over him, am I doing it right?
Q. My ex was a huge jerk to me, lied, was inconsiderate and never really was into me inn the end. I got so mad about things. And I keep looking up ways to get revenge and what i read the most was to just keep on living my life and seem just ok. I'm ...
A. 15 July 2010: No. You're doing the right thing. Revenge is a pointless thing really in a situation like this, as it would have just shown you up. So what if he saw it? Who cares? No one. Probably not even him. Get out there with your friends and have a great ... (read in full...)
I like him but I think he smokes pot
Q. I really like this guy but I think he smokes pot and what if I go back out with him and kiss him some day what should I do?...
A. 15 July 2010: He's not worth your time. ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions for overcoming shyness with women?
Q. what can i do to gain confidence with girls? as summer goes on i get closer and closer to going to college. one reason im not too thrilled about this is because i have no confidence when it comes to talking to girls. im very shy around everybody, ...
A. 15 July 2010: I was really rubbish with girls as well. So shy, it was actually crippling. I asked ten girls out while I was at school, and got turned down every time. I just didn't know what to say to them really. So to build up my confidence, I started going to ... (read in full...)
After finally convincing my boyfriend to marry me, I'M now the one having second thoughts!
Q. I am a woman who likes to live life according to plans. I had my next year all planned out and my heart set on it working out as so. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years. We just graduated from college and I have one year before ...
A. 15 July 2010: You two should not be getting married at this time. Period. You've spent all this time convincing him to do something he was't sure of, and now you're not sure of it. Neither of you are ready yet. He had to be forced, and you're having second ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried, or is it just curiosity?
Q. my eleven year old daughter was looking up quite a bit of pornography and lesbian porn on my laptop. should i be worried or is it just curiosity at eleven? when i was eleven... i was far from thinking about that. kids mature too fast. How shoul...
A. 15 July 2010: I think you need to talk to her about it. We had a question by a young girl on here who was only 13, and she and her friend had watched porn and were scared of it because they were worried that what they saw was what sex was. Of course, it's not. ... (read in full...)
Stuck in an abusive relationship for the sake of my kids
Q. Dear Cupid i am in big problem with my marraige, very unhappy and uncomfortable. I have been married for 11 years and have 2 little boys aged 28 months and 14 months old. we have always had our differences and rarely we could agree to a disagree...
A. 15 July 2010: Your kids will be far more damaged by you staying and living life like this, than by leaving. Your children need you to be happy and well for their sake. They don't need an abusive man in their life. He may well start to abuse them as well. You need ... (read in full...)
Is this really a healthy relationship?
Q. So, ive written a little before. My boyfriend and i have been together for 1 yr and 4 months. I just am not sexually attracted to him like i used to be. i love him, but i just feel like i can do better. is it normal to feel like ure settling? i dont ...
A. 15 July 2010: I think at your age, there is little chance that you're going to find the 'one'. I'm not saying it can't happen, but I'm saying that it's unlikely. Your case is just like this. You like the guy, but he's just not the 'one'. At all. He's just a ... (read in full...)
I just feel like I'm hanging around for him...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together a year and 3 months. Recently we broke up for two weeks. He came to me begging for forgiveness and said he would change for me and do anything. It has been a while and I haven't seen any change from what he use...
A. 15 July 2010: You're hanging onto a dream, like some many women before you who have sat there thinking a man can change. Change really does come from within, and this guy doesn't want to change. Empty promises, selfishness and the fact that he didn't see the ... (read in full...)
My partner's mother wants to move in with us even though she can take care of herself, and I feel as a young couple with young children we cannot deal with the burden!
Q. Hi all, need some much needed advice. I am 24 Ive been with my fiance for 7 years and we have a beautiful baby girl and I am due to have a baby boy in August. We recently moved home for a fresh start after I found out my fiance had an affair however ...
A. 14 July 2010: You don't let her move on. You're right, at this time you can't cope with her as well. My grandparents never helped my mother at all, and she just banned them because all they would do was sit there and take, take, take.
You fiancé needs a seri... (read in full...)
My partner's mother wants to move in with us even though she can take care of herself, and I feel as a young couple with young children we cannot deal with the burden!
Q. Hi all, need some much needed advice. I am 24 Ive been with my fiance for 7 years and we have a beautiful baby girl and I am due to have a baby boy in August. We recently moved home for a fresh start after I found out my fiance had an affair however ...
A. 14 July 2010: You don't let her move on. You're right, at this time you can't cope with her as well. My grandparents never helped my mother at all, and she just banned them because all they would do was sit there and take, take, take.
You fiancé needs a seri... (read in full...)
Is it out of line for me to ask to see the engagement rings he gave to his ex's?
Q. He's been engaged before and he still has the rings, is it ok for me to ask to see the rings or is that out of line?...
A. 14 July 2010: I wouldn't go in there and demand it. I'd just be calm about and make it seem as if you're asking out of interest. I think if you demand or threaten, you might not get what you want. Is there any specific reason you want to see them? It might help ... (read in full...)
I want to leave my boyfriend but I moved to TX to be with him and now I have nowhere to go!
Q. Help i just moved to tx with my boyfriend and now i want to leave bc i found out he has been looking up kid p--no. i dont know anyone and have no where to go. what should i do?...
A. 14 July 2010: Even if you have to go to a Women's Hostel, go there. Just get your stuff and go. If you have parents you can go to, go home to them. If you have a friend who lives miles away back where you came from, get a ticket and go. Just please get away from ... (read in full...)
Who do I choose, the guy I cant trust or the guy from my childhood who flirts a lot with me?
Q. Ok there is two problems, the 1st one is Well im with this guy Max now but i am having a hard time trusting him. Not that he lies a lot its just that i just cant buy his story. Anyways, i like him and he says he likes me too much.but i told him that ...
A. 14 July 2010: If you don't love a guy, don't be with him. Period. Also, if a guy lives on the other side of the world, chances are it won't work out. And to top it off, if you can't trust him you shouldn't be with him either.
So that eliminates Guy 1.
AS fo... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
