| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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He didn't call to give me closure on our relationship...
Q. Today is a month from the day my bf stopped talking to me. He hung up promising to call after a trivial dispute that happens between any two. from that day till today he did not call. I tried to call him, he never answered and when I sent him an SMS ...
A. 29 July 2010: Leave him to it. He treated you badly, and may well just use you before hurting you again. Move on from this man. ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend cheated on me twice,should I forgive him?
Q. So here's the story.. My bf cheated me before once,when were new in our relationship, where been togther on april 2009, and then I found out that he has a contact with his ex gf and told her that he still loves her and wants to be with her and is ...
A. 26 July 2010: He's cheating again if he's changed his name and such. Dump him. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt my boyfriend but there is someone else
Q. so I am in love with 2 guys :( my boyfriend has so much to learn n we have way too many differences.. but he loves me way more then I love him and I will destroy him if I leave him :( the other guy that I am deeply and truely in to.. makes me laugh ...
A. 26 July 2010: Thank God you dumped him. He clearly has a lot of issues. Samantha pretty much summed it up. ... (read in full...)
Theoretical question: Which of the 2 scenarios is worse?
Q. This is more of a theoretical question! Which of the following is worse: 1. Being in a relationship with a man who makes you happy and you know you would have a happy life together BUT always wondering about what could have been with someone els...
A. 23 July 2010: He still isn't the ideal guy though. I do blame Disney for this :). You know, there was even an experiment done recently that proves that romantic films actually ruin expectations of relationships. This ideal man has come into your life, and seems ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend cheated on me twice,should I forgive him?
Q. So here's the story.. My bf cheated me before once,when were new in our relationship, where been togther on april 2009, and then I found out that he has a contact with his ex gf and told her that he still loves her and wants to be with her and is ...
A. 23 July 2010: If he comes back, close the door. If he phones, put the phone down. If he texts, delete it. Cut this man out. If you don't, I promise that you'll spend the rest of your life being used. ... (read in full...)
Why do men leave pregnant women?
Q. (disregard my age please, i am 21 and the guy is 26) this happened to me with a guy i dated for 2 and a half years and when i got pregnant he said he didnt love me anymore. i'm 7 months pregnant now. he changed his phone number, won't answer ema...
A. 23 July 2010: The same man that lied about loving you for 2 and a half years is the same man who walked away when you were pregnant. Now you're doing the classic thing and blaming yourself. You're wondering why he hates you and what you did. Stop that. You didn't ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend re-evaluating our relationship because he seen me stressed and didn't like my behavior
Q. I previously posted a story about this but there have been further developments. I truly need a lot of feedback on this one because this is ongoing and currently changing on a day-to-day basis. My boyfriend that I met in college lives 1,000 miles ...
A. 22 July 2010: I'll tell you, breaking up so he can 'figure things out' still won't work. You didn't suddenly find out who you were in 7 days. That's rubbish. People have off days. People get bad. I went to visit my girlfriend in May and we had a bust up. But I ... (read in full...)
Is my FWB suggesting we go out?
Q. I have a fwb. Met him thru chatting on msn. Not had sex but i give bj's when i see him. He txts me a lot. Everytime he's at a party or niteclub he'll txt somethin like would have asked u to come but blah blah blah. What is he saying? Is he waiting ...
A. 22 July 2010: Good point G. ... (read in full...)
Theoretical question: Which of the 2 scenarios is worse?
Q. This is more of a theoretical question! Which of the following is worse: 1. Being in a relationship with a man who makes you happy and you know you would have a happy life together BUT always wondering about what could have been with someone els...
A. 22 July 2010: If it won't work with your so called 'ideal' man, then he's not the ideal man. I'm hoping you're not looking at ditching a good guy for the bad boy, or Mr 'Exciting'. Because you should read the endless posts on here about women and their bad boys. ... (read in full...)
How should a woman act when a guy dumps her?
Q. To the guys. If you dump someone without telling them, how does it make you feel if they respect your not so graceful dumping with grace (not chasing your, not calling or stalking you), and moved on? Guys, what in your opinion makes a lady you...
A. 22 July 2010: I've never dumped a woman in a shabby way. I only ever had to dump one woman, and even then it wasn't harsh. I'd say though the best thing you can do is effectively cut him out. Show him nothing. Just go out, have your fun with friends, and if he ... (read in full...)
Do you think my boyfriend still loves me?
Q. Do you think My boyfriend still really loves me ? he keeps asking about the future we have been dating for about 2 years I'm only 16 but he keeps asking if were going to have sex in college and he does not care some times if I'm tired he usually ...
A. 22 July 2010: I'm sorry, but I don't think he loves you. I think he's like a lot of young men and is just after you for sex. He's not caring, doesn't reassure you and seems to go on about sex. I think he just wants that, and not anything else. Perhaps the time ... (read in full...)
I cant understand why my girlfriend has gone off sex!
Q. I am very distressed as my girlfriend and i don't have sex very often anymore. we are both 22 and we have been together for just over 4 years, we moved in together about a year ago. for the first two or three years the sex was great at least three ...
A. 22 July 2010: When a woman goes off sex but wants hugs, that usually means 1 of two things.
1 - She thinks that all you care about is sex, and perhaps other parts of your relationship need working on.
2 - Something else is bothering her right now such as work,... (read in full...)
Should I just go for what is in front of me and stop thinking about my dream man?
Q. Hey. I’m 18 and never fancied anyone in my life. My view on love has always been quite clear. I’ve always believed that the only person I will ever like will be person I’ll be with forever and that I’ll know from the moment I meet them. It’s a ...
A. 22 July 2010: You're not being stupid when you come up with a blueprint in your head for the guy you want. But you will never meet someone who is perfect and answers that description. I blame Disney for this :). Women (and men, in fairness) see films, they hear ... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt my boyfriend but there is someone else
Q. so I am in love with 2 guys :( my boyfriend has so much to learn n we have way too many differences.. but he loves me way more then I love him and I will destroy him if I leave him :( the other guy that I am deeply and truely in to.. makes me laugh ...
A. 22 July 2010: Realistically, if you've been together for just 3 months and there is already another guy, then there is no chance for you. I'm not sure you love either of these two guys. You seem to be a little too confused to be dating right about now. Please end ... (read in full...)
Is my FWB suggesting we go out?
Q. I have a fwb. Met him thru chatting on msn. Not had sex but i give bj's when i see him. He txts me a lot. Everytime he's at a party or niteclub he'll txt somethin like would have asked u to come but blah blah blah. What is he saying? Is he waiting ...
A. 22 July 2010: No. He's not. "I would have" means "I can't really be bothered, but will make an excuse anyway". I'd be a bit careful how far you go with this guy. You'll walk into getting hurt.... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend cheated on me twice,should I forgive him?
Q. So here's the story.. My bf cheated me before once,when were new in our relationship, where been togther on april 2009, and then I found out that he has a contact with his ex gf and told her that he still loves her and wants to be with her and is ...
A. 22 July 2010: No. Don't trust him anymore. He's cheated and lied, and that was after you forgave him. Then he got angry at you. Just get rid of him. He'll do it again.... (read in full...)
Why did he deny me and our baby to this girl?
Q. Well I I'm still struggling with my situation. My boyfriend cheated and possibly got this other girl pregnant. I'm trying to get over it cause I myself had cheated but I just can't. I'm not trying to keep score but he cheated on me with three ...
A. 22 July 2010: For God's sake dump him. ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive or not?
Q. K well my girlfriend is out of town for training for her work for 2 weeks. When the weekend came I asked her not to drink and she did I got mad and we faught. She previously mention that everyone else she was with would go to the strip club. So...
A. 22 July 2010: I think you can afford to forgive her for this. She was obviously naive and didn't know what was going on, and she phone you straight after crying a lot. ... (read in full...)
Will I get hurt having an affair with a married man?
Q. A few months ago I met a man online just chatting he told me right off that he was married and that he and his wife love each other yet they do allow each other to do whatever they wish . Anyway we clicked and we met up we just had our sceond ...
A. 22 July 2010: I'm glad you're not looking for kindness. But I will try to be anyway, just because you're trying to sort this mess out.
The simple fact about married men, is that they rarely care about mistresses. You say he's kind, sweet honest, and caring. I sa... (read in full...)
How can I talk my boyfriend into getting a picture?
Q. My boyfriends birthday is coming up, I need a good photo of both of us. the problem ..... He hates photos of him self so it is a one in a million chance he will let me. What are some good reasons that might make him actually try to make a photo look ...
A. 22 July 2010: I too, hate photos. I always tell my girlfriend to take photos of me randomly, so I don't have to pose. Maybe you two should go to a processional, explain that he doesn't like photos and won't pose and to just take the photos randomly.... (read in full...)
Should I try and convince her to give us a chance?
Q. I went out with this beautifull girl but now she is with someone else, she told me she still likes me i still do also anyways she dosn't know if we should go back with each other waht should i do to convince her to give us a chance one more time?...
A. 22 July 2010: Sorry, she's with someone else. She needs to make her own decision. You couldn't trust her if you were the one who the decision for her.... (read in full...)
Do I need my friend's permission to ask him out?
Q. there is this guy i like and we are alot alike. but my frient likes him 2. i wanna ask him out but i have 1 question...should i ask my friend if its ok with her since she liked him first? please help me!?...
A. 22 July 2010: I don't even think you should go out with him. I think you'll lose your friend.... (read in full...)
How do we deal with his mistake?
Q. hi i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and last year i was pregnat in feb 28th and i had a miscarrge at 11 weeks and im still upset about that but my baby would of been born november 21 09. well my boyfriend started talking to this girl and ...
A. 22 July 2010: You've been through far too much to be able to take this, I think. What if she is pregnant (you'll need proof of that)? What if he is the father to another woman's child after what you've been through (you'll need a DNA test for that)? What if he ... (read in full...)
I fancy this married man and he fancies me too!
Q. ok, i'm in a really tricky situation. i fancy this man, and he fancies me too, but the problem is he is married, and he is also a close friend of my uncle and knows some of my other family members. He got upset and in a mood last week on the day i ...
A. 22 July 2010: No he doesn't fancy you. Putting it bluntly, he just wants you on your back, to have his fun, then to leave you whilst you sit there crying wondering why he doesn't love you. He's MARRIED, and you're on the verge of being a homewrecker and a woman ... (read in full...)
Every chick around him insults me and hates me!
Q. Hey, this may confuse some of you and it confuses myself, but i need help on it i have more then 1 question. Im 15 (just recently turned 15) The Guy i like is 17. His adorable, great body, really nice and caring, his like prince charming but with...
A. 22 July 2010: I think you are in a real mess. And you're not listening to the people around you when they say that you shouldn't be involved. Instead, your taking the advice of your friends and throwing it back. Not a good idea. I'll answer each point as I can. ... (read in full...)
Why do men leave pregnant women?
Q. (disregard my age please, i am 21 and the guy is 26) this happened to me with a guy i dated for 2 and a half years and when i got pregnant he said he didnt love me anymore. i'm 7 months pregnant now. he changed his phone number, won't answer ema...
A. 22 July 2010: Most men don't do that. I'd hang before I did that to a girlfriend and child.
The reason? There are 2
1 - He's too immature and can't handle it or be a father
2 - He feels as if he has been tricked.
In your case, I think when he found out tha... (read in full...)
Boyfriend re-evaluating our relationship because he seen me stressed and didn't like my behavior
Q. I previously posted a story about this but there have been further developments. I truly need a lot of feedback on this one because this is ongoing and currently changing on a day-to-day basis. My boyfriend that I met in college lives 1,000 miles ...
A. 22 July 2010: I'm sorry, but if he can't accept the bad times with the good, then he's not worth your time.
Couples have arguments, couples have problems, couples go through a lot of things together that aren't always good. But what makes a relationship last is w... (read in full...)
How do I tell if he just wants sex or if he loves me?
Q. So I have this best friend and he is a guy we have dated off and on. I'm 16 and he is 19... Our relationship is complicated because he is going to College in another state and I'm in high school. I'm able to see him every break that comes though ...
A. 22 July 2010: The moment you said your relationship was on/off, I knew what he wanted. He doesn't love you at all.... (read in full...)
Is he gay because he has issues with kissing his own wife?
Q. My husband has admitted to me on several occasions, today included that he is just "not that much into kissing." He especially does not like french-kissing. For some reason he finds it to be gross. As a result of our intimacy issues,also due to h...
A. 22 July 2010: 6 Years!? Well, if he's not gay, he has major issues with sex. I'd suggest that you get a divorce and move on from him. You can't be there doing as he wants while he watches porn while you sit there unsatisfied. Certainly he could be gay, or he ... (read in full...)
I don't want to loose him and I don't have much time. What should I do?
Q. i'm in love with a friend and when i'm around him i feel so happy and we have the same interest in most of the things. but he is going abroad to study in 20 dys and he may never come back! I don't want to loose him and i don't have much time . what ...
A. 22 July 2010: Go up to him and tell him straight how you feel. Nothing else will work. There is a time to be brave and this is it. You need to go ask him to meet, sit down with him and tell him. That's your chance.... (read in full...)
Can I sue the Other woman that had a love child with my husband?
Q. I'm lost at this time! My husband cheated with the mother of his 1st child. And this other woman got pregnant I come to find out two months before our church wedding that "WE" have been planning for a year. This Aug would of been our two year anni. ...
A. 22 July 2010: There are some states where you can sue the other person. You'd need to find out whether that is your state. You'd need to ask local government offices.
As for your husband, he can't just cut this other woman and that child of his life. One day ... (read in full...)
How can I find out whether or not I am bisexual without leaving my boyfriend?
Q. Hello everyone, it's me again. I have a rather confusing question that may need a little help from someone with an open mind, and little prejudice. Lately, I have been highly curious about my bisexual side. I have always had an odd affinity for the ...
A. 22 July 2010: Well, I don't know whether you're a bi-sexual or not. But I can answer two other things or you.
1 - Your boyfriend will mind you kissing someone else. He may think he won't, but he will.
2 - There is no way you can find out without leaving ... (read in full...)
He didn't call to give me closure on our relationship...
Q. Today is a month from the day my bf stopped talking to me. He hung up promising to call after a trivial dispute that happens between any two. from that day till today he did not call. I tried to call him, he never answered and when I sent him an SMS ...
A. 22 July 2010: There are common misconceptions about 'closure', as such.
1 - A person does not owe closure, or reasons. They can end it, and they don't need to say anything else other 'than it's not working out'. However, it's pretty low when someone does what... (read in full...)
Breakup over bad past... please help!
Q. Please help... I am 20 years old and I'm in this fantastic relationship. It's been 10 months... I have a rather "dirty" past, I wanted to have fun and did and he feels so threatened by my past that once every 2 or 3 months he brings it up. He says ...
A. 22 July 2010: Retroactive jealousy, is the name for it. And what a total waste of time it is too.
The first thing you need to understand here is that IT IS NOT YOU. IT'S HIM. This is not about you. It's about his own insecurities. To be honest, this rather high... (read in full...)
What am I to think? Am I being used here?
Q. I have been seeing/dating this woman (in her early 20's)for a while. She says she doesn't want a relationship. I try and try again to win her over by being there for her and supporting her when she needs me. I really like her a lot. We go out on ...
A. 22 July 2010: I'm afraid she's made it clear where she stands. She does not want a relationship. You are a friend, and that's all you will be to her. If you're looking for more, you need to move on now before you get even more hurt.... (read in full...)
What do you think guys... Is it over???
Q. need some advice! i've been seeing angie, exclusively for 8 months, she is on a rebound from a previous ex, last friday we were having some drinks on her porch. this man from the neighborhood showed up, we are both 40, this guy is 27. well she ...
A. 22 July 2010: My man, you are being misled by this woman.
She ALLOWED herself to be groped by this man, then went on to say she liked him a lot. And what did she say? She said 'you should feel she is going to end up with you'
Bull, pure and simple.
This woma... (read in full...)
How can I let him have my son when he follows a totally different routine?
Q. I am at my wits end with my ex-boyfriend. We have a 3 month old son but we split up when i was pregnant. I live alone with our son and he lives with his parents. He pays me maintenance each month and we both do our best to raise him. The thing is, ...
A. 22 July 2010: Sorry, but you're out of luck.
Whilst you do have the right to ensure he arrives on time with your child, you have no right to control what he does so long as it is not illegal. He pays his maintenance, he sees his child, and the only thing he does... (read in full...)
This married woman wants to leave her husband... FOR MY BOYFRIEND!
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years now and during this time he has cheated with many times, but when i do find out he calls off the relationship them but this always happen after lots of fights and tears. Recently i found out he h...
A. 22 July 2010: Girl, will you please run from this man. He will never come to his senses. And he will not be miserable. That's all fake. He does it because he knows you will accept it. Stop being treated like crap, and get rid of this cheating liar! Now! There are ... (read in full...)
Will he want to have a relationship when September gets here?
Q. I've been hooking up with this guy for a month or so and the first time we hung out we had amazing sex and since then we've continued to have sex. We've talked about relationships and he said he didn't want to have one over the summer. But once ...
A. 21 July 2010: I think you'll find that all he wants is sex and that's it. ... (read in full...)
After three years, why would he call? And lie about it??
Q. Last night I got a voicemail message from an ex boyfriend who disappeared on me three years ago. The message said he was "returning this call. Someone called me from this number. Thanks, bye bye." I never called him, and unless the dog has lear...
A. 21 July 2010: I'm thinking he's still the same dog he ever was.... (read in full...)
I really like my boyfriend's friend and don't know what to do about it!
Q. Me and my boyfriend, Justin, and I have been dating for almost two months. i really like him but i just met his friend Drew. I felt really attracted to Drew and Drew even treated me better than Justin did. Drew was major flirting with me the whole ...
A. 21 July 2010: Well, if you want Drew, you will just have to hurt Justin. But remember, if Drew is willing to stab his best friend in the back, he will stab you in the back too. Also remember that if you do this, it will have a serious effect on your reputation. ... (read in full...)
My wife cheated on me before we got married.should I divorce her?
Q. hello there. I have a big problem that i need help to, amy wife cheated on me before we where married. We have being married 5 years, we never had sex before we got married, she was my first and i though i was hers. We have a 2yr old boy.i found out ...
A. 21 July 2010: I have to say, to cheat because she wanted someone to compare to was pretty low.
I would say that for the sake of your son, it might be worth trying to fix this through counselling. So maybe think about that before you get that divorce. Clea... (read in full...)
Should I try to contact her or leave well enough alone?
Q. Hi, I hope you can help me with a slight dilema I have. Just over a week ago at work I had to have a medical with one of the occupational health assistants. The problem I have is that the OHA who saw me was very attractive and I could have been ...
A. 21 July 2010: You need to leave well alone, not for the reasons you think though. Medical staff aren't supposed to date patients at all, even if it was just once. It's seen as medically unethical and they can lose their jobs. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guys to sleep around after they lose the love of their lives?
Q. Is it normal for guys to sleep around after they "lose" the love of their lives? Is this "forgivable behaviour" if one were to get back together with them after a three month break up?...
A. 21 July 2010: Yep, they're called rebounds. But, in truth, Ask Oldersister hit the nail on the head, as it were. Young guys will sleep around anyway if they're given the chance, and will be more than happy to have any excuse at hand.... (read in full...)
Can you have sex with a person for a long time and not feel anything?
Q. ? 4 men! Can u really have sex with Some1 4 a long period of time and Amd not have any feelings 4 them?? Whn u have sex with the 3or more times A week and the sex is the best??...
A. 21 July 2010: Yes, there are men who can go out, have sex with women for ages and never love them. ... (read in full...)
My husband's ex lover cannot accept the fact that he came back to his family
Q. My husband I was separated for almost 1yr,now he's back to us w/my two kids.He's involve w/a woman who can't accept the fact that my husband was back to his family.Now she's sending me a lot of malicious pictures of them and e-mails telling what ...
A. 21 July 2010: If you take all those emails and pictures and the threat, you'll be able to file charges. ... (read in full...)
He waited for a whole month before asking me out on a second date!
Q. 45 yr. old man asked me (42) out on a date "some day next week" (we work at the same location). He never gave me a specific date up front and I was left hanging for days wondering which date he'd choose, if any. Finally he said Thursday. Took me ...
A. 21 July 2010: You'll find that this arrogant man has a few women on the go elsewhere, I think. Why bother with a guy who is so unreliable? He'll only call you when he wants something, not when you want something. I think you might as well move on to a guy who ... (read in full...)
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