| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Does He Want The Relationship Back - Or Just Sex?
Q. Hi all, I was seeing this guy for a while, and things were going great, then we feel out, and he finished it. I ignored his calls, and he kept on calling me - he called 15 times in four days, so in the end I picked the phone up.He was saying he ...
A. 27 July 2010: It does make sense when you realize that he wanted sex, and got it on tap. And it makes sense again when you realize that when it ended and you didn't give in, he got angry. Sadly, he's just not a great guy. ... (read in full...)
Does He Want The Relationship Back - Or Just Sex?
Q. Hi all, I was seeing this guy for a while, and things were going great, then we feel out, and he finished it. I ignored his calls, and he kept on calling me - he called 15 times in four days, so in the end I picked the phone up.He was saying he ...
A. 27 July 2010: Yes, some do. NOT ALL though, so don't think we're all like that. There are a lot of better guys out there that don't act this way.
But yes, this guy set you up big style. And the moment you seemed like you wanted to take it further, he pushed you ... (read in full...)
She cheated so should I just break it off?
Q. Hello all, I am in a relationship that is pretty green, six months into it. I have been friends with this girl for a long time, and really like her a lot. I have started to have to work away from home for a week to two weeks at a time. The fir...
A. 27 July 2010: 6 months into it, and she's cheated the first time you go away. Then you come back and there are no calls or anything. She's not even doing a thing to make this better.
Dump her, find a woman who's not like this. ... (read in full...)
Does He Want The Relationship Back - Or Just Sex?
Q. Hi all, I was seeing this guy for a while, and things were going great, then we feel out, and he finished it. I ignored his calls, and he kept on calling me - he called 15 times in four days, so in the end I picked the phone up.He was saying he ...
A. 27 July 2010: Yes, it was all done to reel you in. Some men do this. He did. That's why every time you turned him away he got mad. Because he realized he wasn't getting his way. It's essential you block him out.
It is about sex, nothing more. Take that from a ma... (read in full...)
How do I stop questioning if someone likes me or not?
Q. I'm beginning to think I may need to seek help for self-esteem issues. Two months ago I started a relationship with a guy I really cared for. From day one I was constantly questioning myself about if he really liked me or not and found myself ...
A. 27 July 2010: I think you need to see a counsellor. I think if you look back to some time earlier in your life, you were deserted once and it's lived with you since. Sadly, your actions have probably pushed him away to a point where he won't want to come back.
N... (read in full...)
How can I stop checking up on my ex?
Q. How do I simply stop caring about what my ex does and how he lives his life now? I can't help but sometimes check out his facebook and see who he's talking too and what he's up to, which I am trying to stop. How do I stop caring about everything so ...
A. 27 July 2010: Get off the computer, and get back out there with friends. Start a new hobby, like cooking or writing or anything that prevents you from being tempted to go on the computer. Meet new men. Anything. Just don't sit there on a computer hoping he will ... (read in full...)
Why don't my orgasms feel that incredible?
Q. Basically im 14 and i masturbate fairly regualarly, never more than once a day; probably about once or twice a week. It's just that whenever i masturbate the semen comes out etc etc and i guess i have a kind of orgasm that feels alright, but it's ...
A. 27 July 2010: I'm afraid that's the male orgasm for you. But if you do what BrownWolf says, that can make it longer. ... (read in full...)
Don't want to lose him because of that bitch!
Q. Well my x I like him so much and I'm berly getting over him it's beeen 2 or even 3 years. And a month ago he had to leave with his mom to another state we tryed a long distNce relationship but It didn't work out.. Umm now I've found out dat he has ...
A. 27 July 2010: You've already turned into a bitter ex, and it's not becoming. You claim she's a bitch. Guess what, she can't be because he's with her. You've lost him. You lost him when it ended, and he's not coming back. Now he's cut you out. You need to let this ... (read in full...)
Does He Want The Relationship Back - Or Just Sex?
Q. Hi all, I was seeing this guy for a while, and things were going great, then we feel out, and he finished it. I ignored his calls, and he kept on calling me - he called 15 times in four days, so in the end I picked the phone up.He was saying he ...
A. 27 July 2010: He was a user beforehand. That's the whole point. And don't do the whole 'there must be something else in it'. There's not, I'm sorry, but there isn't.
For some reason that I have yet to understand, women seem to crave crap treatment at times. Not ... (read in full...)
True love or game player?
Q. i fell in love with a guy over ten years ago. we were madly inlove, but i had to move to another country. we stayed in touch, and i visited regularly. but over the years i started to want more, and found someone whom i thought made me happy. ...
A. 27 July 2010: This isn't true love. This is a fantasy. It didn't work then, it won't work now. You're so obviously being played by this guy. And how predictable that you should fall for it. You say you made the wrong choice? When has your husband let you down in ... (read in full...)
His Ex Stalks Him on Facebook
Q. My boyfriend's ex is all over his Facebook page, and it's recently started to bother me, especially as his family (who are also on FB and I am very close to) have started commenting on it. They broke up over a year ago, he had 6 months being sin...
A. 27 July 2010: She does it because she's hoping for a reaction. She's not getting it from him though, as he's never replied. But it's bothering you, and by letting it bother you, she starts to win.
There is nothing you can do to stop her. But you can trust the ... (read in full...)
My Brother is Lazy & Selfish, & Abusing Me on Facebook!
Q. Please Help! I know its long but i'm desperate...I dont know what to do about my brother. I am a full time University student working full time for the summer even though I am considered as being a student with a permanent disability(due...
A. 27 July 2010: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism
Is this your brother? Sounds like it. The problem is, my father is like this. And has been for all my life. You can't deal with people like this. In the end, you may well find cutting him out of your lif... (read in full...)
Does He Want The Relationship Back - Or Just Sex?
Q. Hi all, I was seeing this guy for a while, and things were going great, then we feel out, and he finished it. I ignored his calls, and he kept on calling me - he called 15 times in four days, so in the end I picked the phone up.He was saying he ...
A. 27 July 2010: Girl, this won't even work as friends. He just wants to get into your pants all the time, and if you keep in contact with him, you'll either give in, or you'll just get all these abusive emails and texts for as long as you know him. He is just a ... (read in full...)
He Cheated, We Broke Up, He Wants Me Back But I Don't Think I Want a Relationship Yet - But He Says He Won't Wait
Q. i recently split with my boyfriend because he invited another girl round to his and she stayed the night. we had been together for a year and i was deeply in love with him, now were not together, im finding it hard to get over him. then yesterday he ...
A. 27 July 2010: This guy cheated. Period. And now he says he won't wait for you? Sorry, but he's a louse. No, you can't sort it. Don't sort it with a guy who thinks he can cheat on you, then just wander back into your life and force you into a corner. You're better ... (read in full...)
My Sister Bullies Me, But I've Been Forced to Invite Her to My Wedding
Q. hey i need some advice. my problem is i hate my sister and my mum made me send my sister an invite to my wedding. i dont want her there! shes always been so jealous of me, to the point she used to physically, mentally and emotionally abuse me. ...
A. 27 July 2010: Don't dance to your mother's tune. I know why she's wanted this. She wants the illusion that everything is okay and the family is all 'together'. I know it must be hurting your mother to see this, very much. No parent wants to see this behaviour ... (read in full...)
He Wanted Me For 2 Years, Got Me - Then Changed Almost Overnight!
Q. [sorry for such a long question]Well my boyfriend and i have just recently got together and it has now been at least a month and a half. he told me before we got together that he had liked me for almsot two years and that he was so happy that i ...
A. 27 July 2010: Dump him. He's in it for the chase and nothing else. How shallow. All he wanted was to chase you. Now he has you, he doesn't know what he wants. It's a waste of time to be with him, you'll just waste your life. End it now, move on to a guy who ... (read in full...)
Her FWB Past Scares Me - Were They Better in Bed?
Q. I'm struggling with my girlfriends past. She has had about the same number of partners as me from what she tells me, but they have been recent and FWB type relationships, whereas mine have mostly been more serious. I get the vibe that some of ...
A. 27 July 2010: FWB is more of a selfish thing, primarily aimed at getting your own way and nothing else, so it's more likely that the men in those relationships had a great time, while she never really experienced love and care and such. Love does make sex better, ... (read in full...)
He Only Wanted Sex, I'm Finding it Hard to Move on
Q. its been a month and im finding it hard to move on this guy only wanted sex from me, he manipulate me to having sex, i thought he would change. he is very disrespectful he lies to me all the time he if i dont give him what he wants goes out looking ...
A. 27 July 2010: I'm hoping you've cut this guy out of your life entirely. Because before you can do anything else, you need to do that. You need to just cut him right out. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend got roommate pregnant...what to do?
Q. OK, my question is what should I do??? My boyfriend broke up with me six months ago for less than a week and slept with his roommate and got her pregnant. Apparently she just realized NOW that she's pregnant and told him just the other week. What...
A. 27 July 2010: I'll tell you now, that you will not get over this. You hate her, when you should be questioning him. So how do you think you'll feel when your holiday gets cancelled because she calls up to say their kid is ill, or needs new shoes, or attention ... (read in full...)
Insecurities a problem in my relationship!
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been together for roughly a year, we have had ups and downs like any couple. I am quite insecure and this is something that constantly causes a problem between us. When we first got together I had no worries at all, but ...
A. 27 July 2010: Being ultra protective of a phone is an indication of cheating. There isn't enough proof here at all to be sure, but you need to know what's happening, because I do suspect something is up. You won't be able to confront him though, because he'll ... (read in full...)
Is it best I walk away from this relationship?
Q. I really need some good advice. I've recently split with my boyfriend of 14months because his friend told me he cheated on me when we were first together. My boyfriend admitted it but says he wants to move on. Furthermore, his friend told me more ...
A. 27 July 2010: There is no way this can work. No way. He's clearly cheated once, and chances are he's done it at other times as well. He's been drinking. And to top it off, he's throwing in the 'suicide' idea. Whether he does it or not is up to him. But you ... (read in full...)
She is sending out such mixed signals.
Q. I have known a woman for going on 12 months now. We met via online dating. Everything was going great she was even talking engagement. But latley over the past month she suddenly says she doesnt know how she feels anymore she says she loves me dea...
A. 27 July 2010: I got messed around by a girl like this once. I chose to forget about her. It was a brilliant decision.
Women who can't make their mind up just end up wasting your time. There's either someone else somewhere, or this relationship has been buil... (read in full...)
I have just seen a picture of a naked girl on his email....i don't know what to do?
Q. hey guys im so angry right now with my sweetheart, my love and only one boyfriend. i just seen a naked pic of a girl on his email address (deleted) and i dont know what action to take. plz help...
A. 27 July 2010: Did she send it of her own accord? Did he ask for it? Is it porn? Is it a friend that he knows? Did he reply to her?
You need to do a bit of digging and find out the answers to those questions before anyone can really give you proper advice, beca... (read in full...)
Has any one here had breast implants?
Q. I was just wondering if any women here have had breast implants, and if so, do you have any regrets? I've been thinking of getting breast implants for a long time now, I've never been happy with mine. I am aged 24 and a small 32b cup, I would like ...
A. 27 July 2010: From a male point of view, it's just not the same. At a 32b, there's actually nothing wrong with you. But, at the same time, if you really believe that it will help your confidence, then it's more about whether you're happy than whether anyone else ... (read in full...)
Still in love with her despite my broken heart.....
Q. My girl had been talk to a guy for the pass 2years and said its just her friend. i dont mind it at all but he texts her and calls her a lot i ask iher if is something going on between them she said no. Until today she told me she has stong feelings ...
A. 27 July 2010: 6 years is a lot of time to be together. But we're not talking about time. We're talking about a woman who you love, and who was supposed to love you, cheating and still loving another man. She knew what she was doing, and she will do it again. ... (read in full...)
Should I revamp his ex-fiance's engagement ring?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting engaged for the past few months and he has a simply gorgeous ring that his ex fiancee wore about 5 years ago. He says he wants to sell it and buy me a new ring but I really do love this ring. I'm ...
A. 26 July 2010: Let him pick a new one. If you don't, ever time he looks at that ring, he'll just have an unhappy memory come straight back to haunt him. And every time he gets unhappy about it, you'll get unhappy. Get a new ring, just for you. ... (read in full...)
Married with feelings for another man...
Q. Help....I'm married but have feelings for another guy....we used to be friends awhile back....he was there for me when my husband told me he wanted a divorce....but a month later I decided to give my marriage a 2nd try...now he has been avoiding me ...
A. 26 July 2010: You both decided to give this marriage another try, and this 3rd guy rightfully stayed away. You can't give your marriage another try if you have this guy hanging around like a safety net or something. So, decision time. Are you going to go back to ... (read in full...)
So many lies and cheating going on! Is it even worth it to stay with her?
Q. My wife keeps filling me in about things she has done in her past as we go along in our marriage. Each time she hits me with something it is shocking to me and I do not know how to react, and then she throws a fit saying she can't trust me with the ...
A. 26 July 2010: My man, you are a saint. But when you look at this women, this is a woman who cheated on you with at least 3 other men and got pregnant by one. She then goes on to treat you like complete and utter crap. Maybe it is her past that has made her this ... (read in full...)
Her parents want us to take a test to see if we had sex
Q. MOD NOTE: All signs point to the fact that the poster cannot be 33. okay i had sex with this girl and her parents kinda know so now they want us to go take a test to see if we did and i never cum in her would they still find out?...
A. 26 July 2010: There is no test. Except a lie detector. And even then it's not something they can force you to do. Tell them flat, that you will not take a test. And I hoped you used a condom as well. ... (read in full...)
I'm falling for a guy who has a girlfriend
Q. I am single and have been for a long time (apart from a couple of very short and unsatisfying relationships). I hadn't fallen in love for three years until I met this guy recently at a party. As soon as we saw each other it was basically like love ...
A. 26 July 2010: Well, you will be waiting. And longer than you think of you continue this way. The fact is he has a girlfriend. That's it. And by staying around him, you're coming closer and closer to letting something happen. Lots of people have said they won't ... (read in full...)
Ready to throw in the towel!!
Q. I have known my girlfriend for 15yrs, we have been in a relationship for 6yrs. this month I asked the big question and bought her an engagement ring. My co worker family owns a jewelry store so i bought a second hand ring that has been appraised for ...
A. 26 July 2010: I want you to think about whether you can handle this treatment every hour, of every day, of every year for the rest of your life. Seriously, this woman is a very bad choice. Very bad. The whole idea of engagement is blown out the water when the ... (read in full...)
Risk of diseases from anal sex
Q. Hey guys, whats the risk of diseases of doing anal sex? by the way im (13). My boyfriend (16) wants vagina sex but im not ready so we do anal and i want to know what risks there are of doing it? Im also really horney all he time and he wants me ...
A. 26 July 2010: For starers, before we even get to the diseases, your 'boyfriend (or abuser, which is what he is), will get arrested. Then read what Tischa says. ... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me my legal consumer rights please?
Q. I ordered a phone from T Mobile to upgrade my handset. I was told over the phone that I could try if for 7 days, if I dont like it that there was no obligation and I could just return it. I received the mobile and didnt like it so I called them to ...
A. 26 July 2010: http://www.consumerdirect.gov.uk/
http://www.tradingstandards.gov.uk/
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
I've listed three sites in order of which you should visit. The top one has a page dedicated to mobile phones, and will help. Trading S... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me my legal consumer rights please?
Q. I ordered a phone from T Mobile to upgrade my handset. I was told over the phone that I could try if for 7 days, if I dont like it that there was no obligation and I could just return it. I received the mobile and didnt like it so I called them to ...
A. 26 July 2010: http://www.consumerdirect.gov.uk/
http://www.tradingstandards.gov.uk/
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
I've listed three sites in order of which you should visit. The top one has a page dedicated to mobile phones, and will help. Trading S... (read in full...)
Is my partner correct to want me to ask for his permission to answer the phone late at night?
Q. 22.15hrs I was having a talk with my partner about an important matter to us both. My mobile phone rang in the room next door, and he got up first to fetch it and brought it to me for me to answer which I did. It was a short message from a friend. ...
A. 26 July 2010: When he picked up the phone and gave it to you, he gave permission. You even went on to explain who it was and why they'd called. I'd say you did nothing wrong. I'm also with Q. I recognize controlling behaviour when I see it, and this is the start. ... (read in full...)
Do you ever really forget your first love..
Q. I met mine almost 3 years ago, we were together for a year and a half, and yeah things went quite badly towards the end, he changed and what not. But it's been almost 2 years since we broke up and I still think about him every single day, I st...
A. 26 July 2010: My first love ended with her cheating. I only really think about her when I speak about her on here as a warning to others to be aware of cheating signs, to ditch a cheater or to remind people that their first loves are not always the best. As I ... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt my boyfriend or put a strain on our relationship, but I just wish he would understand that my grandmother does need me too
Q. My grandfather recently died, and now my handicapped, 88 year old grandmother is home by herself. She is of sound mind, and can take care of herself, but she does have a number of health problems that are managed by medicine. Both my grandp...
A. 26 July 2010: Though he does need to to show support, you are ultimately going to be making a choice here. It will be him, or her. Neither like each other, and both won't want to live together. At some point, you will be making a choice. I do find it suspicious ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is secretive and stops me meeting her family
Q. I recently split up with a girfriend who is middle aged, divorced and has two grown up children. She had a 20 year marriage after which she seems to have had numerous brief affairs. We met and got on very well, including sex. But after a while I ...
A. 26 July 2010: She has major league commitment issues, that no doubt lead back to her family in some way, since she was so determined you wouldn't mean them. Her marriage was clearly blighted by trouble, and she never dealt with the problems, and instead chose to ... (read in full...)
Sexual emails to ex could come back and hit me in the face
Q. ok here my prob i sent some sexual emails to my ex boyfriend now he might use them against me by showing them to my parents etc which also can be used in court. reason why im saying in court because i'm pregant and he doesnt want to pay money tow...
A. 26 July 2010: He can't use them. He's the father, and that's it. Speak a solicitor, just to make sure you know where you stand. But since he's the father, he has to pay. Don't be blackmailed. ... (read in full...)
B/f found out I slept with his friend while we were broken up, says its my responsibility to make him feel better!
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend in January, we still loved each other very much, but we couldn't stop arguing and things just weren't working. When I broke up with him he got incredibly angry and cut off all contact with me. I didn't think I would ever ...
A. 26 July 2010: This is precisely why you should never have got back together. No sooner than just over a month later, and it's all come straight back. I don't think it was a good idea to see his close friend, as it was bound to come out and cause this. But at the ... (read in full...)
Is this married man attracted to me?
Q. Hello everybody. There's the thing. I have recently started going to this new Café/Restaurant near my house and the male owner who is higly attractive started paying me some attention. He is married and has a kid, and I live with my boyfriend.The ...
A. 26 July 2010: No. What's happened is you're showing him attention, and like so many married men, he's thinking about using you. Does he fancy you? Probably. Will he use you? Yes. Will you end up miserable? You can bet your life on it. Go home to your boyfriend ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend and our life together, but why should I pay for his friend's mistake?
Q. My boyfriend is planning on proposing to me next month. We live together in his house, with his two kids who I love dearly. Here's the problem - his best friend is 31 years old, and just got a DUI and will be losing his license and will have to pay ...
A. 26 July 2010: It was when you said he was thinking about putting off buying the engagement ring that I knew you'd picked a lemon. It's one thing to be there in terms of offering a spare room, but totally another to suggest that you can wait for your ring, you can ... (read in full...)
Still in love with her despite my broken heart.....
Q. My girl had been talk to a guy for the pass 2years and said its just her friend. i dont mind it at all but he texts her and calls her a lot i ask iher if is something going on between them she said no. Until today she told me she has stong feelings ...
A. 26 July 2010: End it with her. She's cheated several times, claims she loves both him and you and all that. I've heard it too many times before. This girl has cheated, lied and then claimed she loved two men. The reality is she doesn't love either of you enough ... (read in full...)
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