| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Why is she begging for me to be in her life when she is still with my ex friend who she dumped me for?
Q. Well i have a major problem involving my ex girlfriend. Well a few months back my ex fell for some tricks my ex best friend pulled to steal her away from me. She had been friends with him nearly as long as i had known him and she did not believe ...
A. 5 August 2010: Have nothing to do with her. Ever seen Fatal Attraction? That's the best reason ever to stop contacting this woman. ... (read in full...)
Are my breasts too big?
Q. hi everyone! I'm a 15 year old girl and I have a small problem with my breasts A LOT of guys my age think they are too big, while other guys that are a bit older think they are fine... why's that? I don't want to go out with an old perv just ca...
A. 5 August 2010: The ones who comment on it are the ones who don't understand women. The right guy will like you as you are. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't have his own mind!
Q. I have been in a relationship for 3 years with my partner. However we lack so much trust and paranoia for each other. This is down to cheating, and texting flirts. However, we both find it hard to get over what we have done to each other. But apart ...
A. 5 August 2010: I'm worried that you'll end up seeing him get arrested for drug dealing, and looking like a bit of a fool. You're with a loser. A total loser. Your boyfriend does have his own mind, and he has decided that he will take drugs and deal drugs, and he ... (read in full...)
20 And never had a boyfriend
Q. Okay so i'm 20 and i've never had a boyfriend. By this i mean i've never gone on a date,no guys have ever asked me out, and i've never even held hands with a guy before. Personally i think i'm not too bad looking. I'm tall and skinny and i have a ...
A. 5 August 2010: First of all, stop putting yourself down. If a guy doesn't ask you out, it doesn't mean you're repulsive. Quit that negative thinking, or you'll drive men away with it.
You may well find that you're so outgoing, that you're so bubbly, that you'... (read in full...)
My boyfriend works a lot and doesn't have time for me
Q. I'm 18 and my boyfriend is twenty. I'm still in school and he's working. I don't have a problem with him working it's just I never get to see him because he works all day and then comes home late. I know he needs the money to survive and stuff bu...
A. 5 August 2010: Are you asking him? Have you specifically said to him "I would like us to speak more". Sometimes you really do have to spell it out. ... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time? We just started dating again....
Q. I'm confused and frustrated. My guy and I got back together 8 months ago after being apart six months. I am wanting more of a commitment from him . All he says when I press the issue is I want that to just not yet . When I say you knew what I wanted ...
A. 5 August 2010: Like I said. He had serious issues. I'm sorry you got hurt again. Please do not allow this man back into your life. ... (read in full...)
If you love someone but don't have a clue wether they feel the same or not should you tell them.
Q. Hi, if you love someone but don't have a clue wether they feel the same or not should you tell them. What if the guy just freaks out? would telling him reduce your chances of ever being together? Please let me know what you think. what advantag...
A. 4 August 2010: You need to tell him. If you don't tell him at all, you'll never be together and you'll always wonder what could have been. At least if you tell him and he says no, you'll know it was never meant to be. You need to say something, or you'll regret ... (read in full...)
Unhappily married man in love with a lesbian!
Q. Ok, so i am a married man. I feel that i was pressured into getting married, and i don't have the greatest relationship. I love my wife, but i don't think i am in love with her. I met a woman, a woman with whom i work. She is amazing, and i got ...
A. 4 August 2010: Go home to your wife and decide either to end the marriage or give it all you've got and make it work. Don't be so sure you're not being trapped or something. ... (read in full...)
Can I still get a girlfriend if I'm not a very chatty person?
Q. Can I still get a girlfriend if I'm not a very chatty/talkative person? I'm 22 and I'll definitely agree that I am more talkative and more confident now near the end of uni, than when I was in hgih school when I was a really shy boy who was scared t...
A. 4 August 2010: I sued to be like that. I'm better now. You will attract women, but you need to be a bit proactive if you can. Go to a cafe and make sure you're served by a woman, so you have to speak to her. Go a hair salon for men and women that is run by women, ... (read in full...)
Should I give my ex the money she is asking for even though she hardly ever paid anything and let me pay for most things?
Q. Hi everyone. Me and my girlfriend split up about 7 months ago. We have both found it really hard and she is the one that walked away from me without fighting. When we were together, we bought a flat together. It was solely in my name as i was the ...
A. 4 August 2010: I am also sorry, female anon. I do understand that housewives and such work hard (my mother is one, and she works VERY hard), and if there has been time invested and money, then fair enough. But this is 7 months later, and smells like a woman trying ... (read in full...)
Confusing ex-gf situation...what is she doing?
Q. Hi This girl, who happens to be an ex, is keen to join my band. But she missed our first rehearsal, saying there was no time specified and she couldn't make it as she'd made other plans. I was annoyed at the time, but disn't bother too much...
A. 4 August 2010: The word 'ex' is the big thing. Whether she wants you back, she's wasted your time. And I suspect that she will continue to waste your time as well. Maybe she wanted you back, then changed her mind yet again. Maybe she is in need of an ego boost. ... (read in full...)
If I lose weight will I have a chance with the girl I like?
Q. Hello, I'm a 14 year old boy and I always had some problems with my weight. I'm not obese but I got some fat on my chest and my belly and around the belly too.I don't know what techniques I should use so I can Loose Weight. I want to loose fat ...
A. 4 August 2010: Lose weight for yourself, not her. If she doesn't like you as you are, she's not worth your time. Girls won't reject you just because you're fat. (unless they're very shallow). If this girl has just turned you down, then it means she's not the girl ... (read in full...)
If I lose weight will I have a chance with the girl I like?
Q. Hello, I'm a 14 year old boy and I always had some problems with my weight. I'm not obese but I got some fat on my chest and my belly and around the belly too.I don't know what techniques I should use so I can Loose Weight. I want to loose fat ...
A. 4 August 2010: Lose weight for yourself, not her. If she doesn't like you as you are, she's not worth your time. Girls won't reject you just because you're fat. (unless they're very shallow). If this girl has just turned you down, then it means she's not the girl ... (read in full...)
What did my dream mean?
Q. I had the weirdest dreams last night. My bf was of 3 and a half years was sitting on my couch and my mum was sitting on top of him but facing towards him. They were kissing passionately and I was watching them through the living room window. I was ...
A. 4 August 2010: Probably means nothing at all. But maybe you're feeling insecure about things at the moment, or maybe your mother is flirting a little too much and you haven't said anything.... (read in full...)
If I get into a relationship, should I tell the guy that I have never been kissed?
Q. Hey everyone! It is a little bit embarassing but i would really like your help. I a 19 year old girl, who has never had a real kiss. The reason for that is that i am not into relationships, i prefer dating. Recently i have been meeting really c...
A. 4 August 2010: You don't need to tell him. Some will ask, and it's your choice as to whether you tell. BUT if you lie, be prepared that it might come out. Should you say anything? Not if he doesn't ask. If he does ask, then think carefully, because if you're ... (read in full...)
We had a fight and now we have not spoken for 3 weeks! Is there anything I can do or should I give up?
Q. dear cupid, i dated a guy for six years. we had a fight. i went to apologize and he did not accept it. he always had a way of making me feel like i was not good enough for him. i have not talked to him for three weeks and he has made no attempt to ...
A. 4 August 2010: I always feel bad for women who come on here and say "he has a way of making me feel like I'm not good enough". Of course you are! Perhaps the problem is HE is not good enough for YOU. Turn this upside down. Take control. This is a man who you have ... (read in full...)
I do not want to be a doormat but at the same time I can't walk out on her!
Q. I have been in love with a woman, she knows it as well and has asked me for time to commit. We hang out together a lot and spend a lot of time together. She has had some past issues with relationships and I understand her need for time to decide. ...
A. 4 August 2010: In fairness, you're not committed at this time. But look at the big picture here. This is a woman who needed time to decide. Instead of taking time, she went and met another guy. Worse still, this is a married man with kids. Would you really put ... (read in full...)
Stuck in a LDR. Is it ok to look for a FWB?
Q. i am a 23 year old lady who is in a stable relationship.however my boyfriend and i are miles away we see each other once in a while like once a month or once in two weeks.when we see each other we make love and we both get contented however the rest ...
A. 4 August 2010: You're either in a relationship exclusively with your boyfriend, or you're not. If you go out looking for a FWB, then you're a cheat. So not, it's not okay at all. I'd suggest to you that you're not really suited to an LDR. Think carefully about ... (read in full...)
Why am I jealous of my ex despite being happy in my new relationship?
Q. I have a new boyfriend who I really care about, he's a great guy and makes me genuinely really happy and I have really strong feelings for him, everything between us is fine. But I don't understand why even though I have moved on and I am really ...
A. 4 August 2010: You haven't moved on from your ex. Read Zayla's post below. She summed it up. ... (read in full...)
Am I too young to be in such a serious relationship?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together since I just turned thirteen. We have a very passionate relationship most of the time. He gets extremely jealous of male friends or other male attention even though he's cheated on me 7 times. Do you think I am ...
A. 4 August 2010: Cheated 7 times? Run!!! ... (read in full...)
Should I give my ex the money she is asking for even though she hardly ever paid anything and let me pay for most things?
Q. Hi everyone. Me and my girlfriend split up about 7 months ago. We have both found it really hard and she is the one that walked away from me without fighting. When we were together, we bought a flat together. It was solely in my name as i was the ...
A. 4 August 2010: No. As she lived rent free at one point, all bets are off. You weren't married, and the place is in your name. ... (read in full...)
My fiance lied to me about going out!
Q. okay, so i am engaged to a wonderful guy. We have been together for almost 4 years, and engaged for a little over a year. We are not only soulmates, but we are also best friends. He has been getting closer to this guy, and they are becoming pretty ...
A. 4 August 2010: You're not going to be able to control where he goes out and who he is with when you're married. Ask him why he lied to you. If he had told the truth, would you have tried to stop him? If so, why? Are you insecure? Or is he untrustworthy? Also, not ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or should I leave?
Q. well me and my girlfriend have been dating for a few months now, but i have some concerns! I feel like she takes advantage of me. I do so much for her thats its ridiculous. When were togather in public or just hanging out she rather spend my money ...
A. 4 August 2010: The sad truth is she is still in love with her ex. You're the rebound guy, the one who is stroking her ego while she tries to work out what to do with this ex. She's lying to you, all the time. You have proof that she is contact with this ex and she ... (read in full...)
Why is she begging for me to be in her life when she is still with my ex friend who she dumped me for?
Q. Well i have a major problem involving my ex girlfriend. Well a few months back my ex fell for some tricks my ex best friend pulled to steal her away from me. She had been friends with him nearly as long as i had known him and she did not believe ...
A. 4 August 2010: Will you just cut contact with this woman! Stop entertaining her. Change your phone number. She's just a crappy woman who is having plenty of fun playing with you. Cut contact, now! Who cares what she thinks. Who cares if she thinks your the bad ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with my new boyfriend? Is it over already?
Q. I moved to a new country and I met a guy 2 months ago. This guy is also from another country (not a local but has been living here for 3 years). During these past 2 months, we spent a lot of time together, he introduced me to some of his friends, ...
A. 4 August 2010: Forget him right now. As soon as you said he was texting those other women, I knew you'd picked a lemon. And I've been proven right when you went on to say you'd gone to his house and he spent the time doing chores. I just think you're with a guy ... (read in full...)
Is this guy brushing my friend off or is he actually going to come to the party?
Q. my friend asked this guy to a party we're having this weekend, and he said "yea I'll probably come around"... he has a history of flirting with her, and seems to like her. from a guys point of view, will he be coming? ...is he just trying not to ...
A. 4 August 2010: "I'll probably come around" = I'll come if I'm doing nothing else.
He's not totally brushing her off. He's playing it safe and keeping his distance at the moment. I don't know if he will come. But if he does, then there is more interest from him ... (read in full...)
He likes me, I like him, but he doesn't want a relationship, what to do?
Q. My best male friend and i have abit of a past, on and off throughout our entire 'friendship' we've battled back and forth between friends and more. Multiple times we have expressed we have feelings for one another, but in the almost 3 years w...
A. 4 August 2010: Your friend is playing the 'safety card'. That means that you're being kept around either as a spare, or just being kept around for an ego boost. You are absolutely right when you say he has no right to get jealous, and you have every right to see ... (read in full...)
Does marriage make you miserable?
Q. I know that I'm a little too young to be thinking about this but I have collected an opinion! Marriage. If you have read some of my other posts you would know how I fell head over heels for this one guy that I met! Before I met him I had planned to ...
A. 4 August 2010: Your parents marriage is worthless, because neither will actually stop cheating and just make a decision about whether they want to be married. There is no effort from either side to better the marriage, and though you say they're perfect, they're ... (read in full...)
My brother wont let me come to his wedding unless I have a date to bring with me!
Q. all my brothers friends will have there wives and girlfriends at his wedding so he would like me to be the same. but he said if i can't get one for saturday i can't come to his wedding. well it looks like i won't be going became i get one. i've ...
A. 4 August 2010: Don't go. It's not worth it. Your brother is just being an ass frankly. Not worth the hassle. ... (read in full...)
Who's the Daddy?
Q. Morning everybody well i have something to ask im 7weeks pregnant and very happy about it but something is bothering me , well you see me and my husband have regular sex but then we tryed something else for 1 day i had sex with someone else i was ...
A. 3 August 2010: DNA test. That's the only real way to be sure. And you need to do it, because if you don't and someone finds out they've been lied to or used, you'll be in trouble. ... (read in full...)
Should I just blank him completely and get on with my life?
Q. Okay, so this isn't much of a big dilemma. I'll tell you the story from the beginning. I fell in love with this amazing guy, Who I thought was actually a genuine person; He was really sweet, nice, funny and understanding, But It was all too good to ...
A. 3 August 2010: This is why I am very wary about second chances. If he couldn't get it right first time around, why would he get it right second time around? Too many people accept rubbish treatment. This guy isn't worth your time. He dumped you once, then came ... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time? We just started dating again....
Q. I'm confused and frustrated. My guy and I got back together 8 months ago after being apart six months. I am wanting more of a commitment from him . All he says when I press the issue is I want that to just not yet . When I say you knew what I wanted ...
A. 3 August 2010: It didn't work out before, and it's not going to work out now. This guy has some serious issues, and I think you'be been through tool much in the past year or so to be able to take on this guy and his problems as well. I think you should move on ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting for getting annoyed at my boyfriend texting his ex at 2am in the morning?!
Q. Hey, I have an issue I would like some advice with... I have been with my boyfriend for a few years but have found he often texts other girls... only girls that are friends but one of which he has slept with in the past... nothing serious just a o...
A. 3 August 2010: I have to say this is a bit out there. To be texting an ex at that time in the morning is something I would be annoyed about. ... (read in full...)
My partner wont pay a penny towards our family, yet he takes our loans and gives the money to his mother!
Q. I am 8 months pregnant with our first child but also have a little girl from a previous relationship who lives with us. My partner and I have been together for 5 years and he just hasnt contributed to the household bills, ever. I have spoken to ...
A. 3 August 2010: For God's sake, get away from him. He's bleeding you dry, and you're going to end up in debt with nowhere to live and no way to support your child. This man values his mother more than you and your child. You have got to leave him, now. Or you'll ... (read in full...)
Is there still hope for us? How can I get him back?
Q. Hi, well a week ago my boyfriend (18) broke up with me (16) because I hurt him really badly. I didnt cheat on him but I did have a few drinks and ended up all over another guy. We had a big fight then and he told me that I broke his heart and that ...
A. 3 August 2010: There is no hope on this occasion. Men in general don't give that many chances, especially if they have been hurt before. You have got to stop chasing him and step away. The more you chase him, the more he will run. He needs time to think about what ... (read in full...)
After the abortion I am feeling depressed but I cant talk to my partner about this.....
Q. i had abortion 6 weeks ago i know it was for the best because i got a 6 month old baby and i got 2 older kids but i just feel so depressed, one min i want to cry the next im lashing out i cant talk to my oher half about this cus he think i want an ...
A. 3 August 2010: I think you need to go and see a professional counsellor who will be able to help. You live in Britain, so it's worth trying to find a specialist support group, or maybe go to your GP and say that you're feeling depressed about it so you can get ... (read in full...)
I had an affair and I feel I can't escape it
Q. i really need some advice...i was involved in a an affair a couple of months ago with someone close to my husband...i ended it because i knew i was doing wrong..my husband really loves me and honestly i dont know why i did it...well maybe because i ...
A. 3 August 2010: Just take your time. And be ready for him getting mad again. I hate to ruin your mood a bit, but men tend to take a while to process what has happened to them, so it might in a few weeks that he gets mad about it again. Just be prepared if he does, ... (read in full...)
Is he getting too close for comfort... just for a viza???
Q. I'm 13 years old and i went on holiday to turkey and met a nice man over there.He liked my family and my family liked him. On the last day of the holiday he wanted to take me to the beach but parents wouldnt let me for obvious reasons such as we had ...
A. 2 August 2010: Well, you're 13. He's 21. So he's either getting to you for a visa, or he's very twisted. Listen to your nan. She knows what she is talking about and has dealt with men like this. Have nothing more to do with him.... (read in full...)
Do you think I offended him?
Q. Hello, I am 15 and am in a relationship with a boy I trust completely. No, I'm not going to ask if sex is okay because it's only been a month! And I am saving myself for a more apropriate age. *My question is; have I hurt his feelings?/would ...
A. 2 August 2010: It's possible. Try talking to him about it. Just say that you've noticed he's a little distant, and you're a bit worried. A man doesn't take rejection from his girlfriend all that well, especially twice. He may be hurt.... (read in full...)
I don't feel I should have to prove myself to him!
Q. i'm 27 years old and my boyfriend has been in prison since june 8 2007 and every single day i wait on him in every way. When i dont talk to him i feel so sick and my life feels empty.Here lately he has been thinking there is someone else in the ...
A. 2 August 2010: I'm with the others. This guy is a badass, and is taking it out on you. You don't have to prove anything. He should be proving he's a worthy guy in your life. He's not. He's not worthy. You need to leave him and find a decent guy instead.... (read in full...)
I found a message on her cell phone from a guy getting straight to the point...cheating!
Q. I am a father of a one year old, and I think my girlfriend, the mother of my child, is cheating on me. Why? Because I found a text message on her phone, from some guy I've never met, that went as follows: "Do you want to f*ck?". Seems pretty ...
A. 2 August 2010: Confront her. You won't resolve this peacefully until you know what she has been up to. You need to know what has happened, so confront her and just say clearly what you found and that you've been suspicious for some time. ... (read in full...)
I had an affair and I feel I can't escape it
Q. i really need some advice...i was involved in a an affair a couple of months ago with someone close to my husband...i ended it because i knew i was doing wrong..my husband really loves me and honestly i dont know why i did it...well maybe because i ...
A. 30 July 2010: I think there is a high chance that this could come out. I also think your husband deserves to know the truth about what happened. He may well leave you, but that's the price. If your marriage has been going stale, or maybe you've been feeling ... (read in full...)
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