| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Broken hearted and lonely seeks much needed advice.
Q. Mod Note....OP's own title. Dear Cupid, I am a 24 year old single girl who has been in several long term relationships in the past few years. Recently however, I've had no luck whatsoever on the dating front, and find myself wondering if I will ...
A. 7 August 2010: You said you've been in several long term relationships in the last few years. That means you've been out with several guys who were not Mr Right.
I do think you're a nice girl, but I think you're placing too much emphasis on finding a guy, rath... (read in full...)
She's broke up with me, but says she'll date me later??!!!!??
Q. I was dating a 20 yr old for over a year and I'm 31 yrs old. We recently broke up but still talk. My question is she says she loves me as a person and says she would date me at a later time when I was ready. What does that mean? Also she says she ...
A. 7 August 2010: It means that somewhere, there is a younger guy or more that she wants to have fun with. Then, when she's been around and had her fun, she might come back to you because you're Mr Safe. She's not worth your hassle. Find a woman who knows what she ... (read in full...)
Would you contact/meet your first love? After a long time apart?
Q. [OP Original title] Hi there, A General Question. Given the chance, how many of you would contact/meet up with yr 1st Love....and would you do it if you were married/in a realtionship? Cheers ...
A. 6 August 2010: Hell no! First loves are the nightmare. ... (read in full...)
Hair
Q. This is for all you guys out there what do you like a womans hair long or short? Witch is more of a turn on? Me personally I like my hair long. :) what do you guys think? Thanks for reading ~Lucy...
A. 6 August 2010: Longer is better. Short can be cute, but it's fun to have long hair to touch. ... (read in full...)
What do you make of "co-incidents"
Q. [OP original title] Hi, I wondered if anyone can help here. What would you do if you had loads of strange co-incidents (more than 15) from a long time ago that are suddenly taking you back to that period in your life? I have had loads of th...
A. 6 August 2010: I don't believe they have any meaning. Sometimes things just happen, and that's it. It can be a mistake to place so much important on coincidences. ... (read in full...)
He won't marry me; I feel cheated!
Q. I’ve been with my guy for three years now, living together for two years and we’re very, very happy (I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of rows we’ve had.) As the relationship’s working so well, and because we’re not getting any ...
A. 6 August 2010: He won't marry you. Period. Your friends are very wrong to suggest that you stomp your feet in the ground and do nothing until he comes around. It won't work. If he doesn't believe in marriage, then nothing will change it. Even if you gave him the ... (read in full...)
All I think when we have sex is I wish he was my ex.
Q. i came out of a 4 year relationship with a guy i love. i am with someone else and my ex knows. this has happened very fast. when we have sex all i can think is i wish he was my ex,i know i have made a foolish mistake. if he is with someone else it ...
A. 6 August 2010: End it with the new guy, get over your ex. That's the two things you have to do. Your ex lost all rights when you split up. If you split up, it meant it wasn't working. And you're now kind of using this new guy as a pole to lean on. that's not fair. ... (read in full...)
I have to lie to go out with friends and I'm sick of it.
Q. Hi, i am having problems in my relationship ino it is mostly my fault. i wanna go out alot but my girlfriend dont like my friends so i always lie to her. i can never tell her how i feel we never do any thing together any more. we hardly have a sex ...
A. 6 August 2010: It sounds to me like your girlfriend is a major problem here. You should be able to go out with your friends and not be hassled by your girlfriend (unless you've cheated when you've been with those friends). You don't really talk, you don't do much ... (read in full...)
Questions about my first pregnancy!
Q. As some of you may know I'm pregnant with my cousins baby and were about to get married. This is my first baby so i got some questions. 1~ Is it normal to have weird and unusual cravings? 2~ Why does my baby constantly kick me? 3~ What causes me...
A. 6 August 2010: Be gentle. For your own sake, talk to a doctor first so he/she can check you and make sure it's safe for you to do so. You can have sex, but do get checked first. No harm in being careful. ... (read in full...)
Has my ex moved on? How can I tell?
Q. I broke up with my bf about 5 months ago and I have no contact with him since. He had tried to contact me the first couple months, but I ignored him cause I just want to give him clear signal that our relationship is over. It appears that he had ...
A. 6 August 2010: You made your choice. That choice was that you broke up with him and decided to ignore him. I think you were liking the attention, and now he's not showing it, you're feeling hurt. Yes, he has moved on. Rightfully so. He couldn't wait there forever ... (read in full...)
All the guys I like are either gay or taken!
Q. I've often thought to myself "I don't think I'll ever have sex unless I'm raped--and then, I'd feel bad for the rapist for having to see me naked." Okay, I'm 20--a few months from being 21--5'4", 220 lbs, horrible self-confidence issues (I think ...
A. 6 August 2010: It's all about the confidence. Seriously, it is. At this time, you're so unhappy and underconfident with yourself, that guys will be wary of it.
The very first thing you need to do is to work on your confidence. If you're worried about your weig... (read in full...)
My dad is messing with my stuff and my life
Q. my dad snoops around behind my back. whenever I'm away he goes through my stuff and hacks my facebook and deletes some of my friends... he checks my email and my computer... he does the same thing to my mom! I think its terrible! my mom knows about ...
A. 6 August 2010: Change all your passwords, and don't let him have them. Your father is a major league control freak and has serious issues. Sat up fake accounts if you have to. And your mother puts up with it, because she hasn't got the courage to leave. You you ... (read in full...)
Pelvic injury and erection problems
Q. I was hit by an 18 wheeler at full speed. I was on foot. I'm still in the hospital and almost died. One of many injuries was a very severe fracture of my pelvis. I cannot get an erection. I also wore a catheter for several months. When catheter was ...
A. 6 August 2010: As the post said below, you need to see a doctor. ... (read in full...)
She has always been a double-edged sword kind of friend
Q. I am really angry with my friend “X” and I have no idea what I should do about it. We have known each other for 10 years. Over the last few years X has changed a lot- she was a late bloomer and didn't really start actively dating until her mid ...
A. 6 August 2010: Friend 'X' should be friend 'EX', I think. You shouldn't' surround yourself by people who will belittle you. If the negatives are outweighing the positives, then the time has come to pull away from her. ... (read in full...)
He's living with another woman already but wants me?
Q. I was with a man for 17 years i have a child with him we lived together for 11 years. thing where not going good so i moved out thinking we needed some time apart well a week and half later he is seeing someone and had her meet my child a month ...
A. 6 August 2010: He wants to have his way, is what he wants. Turn him down, he's not worth your time. It didn't work before, he went off as soon as you'd split up, now he's looking to cheat and dump this other woman. And you'll have the same problems all over again. ... (read in full...)
What can I wear that will make her think sex?
Q. Ladies, what can a guy do physically or wear to get his wife or girl/friend sexually excited. The reverse is so easy to figure out. A girl can wear longerie, nothing at all, or my fav: sexy panties and a tight wife beater. But what can a guy wear ...
A. 6 August 2010: My girlfriend isn't so bothered by what I wear. She's more interested in what I say and do. So I'm guessing your girlfriend will be turned on more you doing something she likes, or saying something she likes. ... (read in full...)
Baby resents nanny when passed on to her
Q. Dear all , I need some advice about my nanny. I have a one year old baby girl and i work everyday from 8-2 .. so she is left at home with the nanny who cleans at the same time .. She has a day off at friday .. To be honest I have never seen any...
A. 6 August 2010: I agree with both posts below.
DrPsych has a very good point. But so does Eyes. So read both and make a decision. ... (read in full...)
My wife won't let me touch her!
Q. My wife won't let me even touch her anymore. Several months ago I became aware of resentment stemming for isolated episodes during our 14 years of marriage when she thought I was insensitive and uncaring. The worst one was my not being present ...
A. 6 August 2010: I think it may already be too late. She sounds like she is major league depressed. I'm glad you're seeing a counsellor alone, as it will at least ensure you understand as much as you can about yourself, and if it was that you were uncaring at times, ... (read in full...)
Why does everyone always make fun of me for my love life?
Q. Why does everyone always make fun of me for my love life? I had one boyfriend in the sixth grade but after him when guys asked me out it was because I just didn't like them. I am eighteen now and all my friends, girl and guy, make fun of me for ...
A. 6 August 2010: I know what this is. This is jealously on part of the girls, and it's a challenge on part of the men.
The girls, such as your friends, have all been used and they know it. They went out with the bad boys, and it was all fun while it lasted. But ... (read in full...)
My husband believes this woman is from his past and him and her are getting too cozy for my liking!
Q. My husband met a married woman at a conference in January this year. She came to our house on a recent visit and I simply assumed that there was nothing to it. I later find out that he has been seeing the woman in his dream before actually meeting...
A. 6 August 2010: Your husband sounds like a bit of a crank to me. No offence there. But when someone suggests that 'it was foretold', then there are problems.
I agree with HoneyPie - either he cuts contact with this woman, or you need to think about whether you ... (read in full...)
What are the chances that my ex will realize he made a mistake of giving up on us so soon?
Q. My ex boyfriend broke up with me three days ago. This was my first break up and my first relationship. And while it lasted only two months, he was my first kiss and I did lose my virginity to him. Everything happened to fast and it was too rushed. ...
A. 6 August 2010: Well, you've been through your first break up, and it's not been nice. They never are. And it's always worse being dumped than it is being the dumper. Always.
Will he come back? No he won't. I suspect he got everything he wanted out of this rela... (read in full...)
This other boy makes me happier than my boyfriend does
Q. Well, I have a boyfriend. He is 17 I am 15. I went to my friends grandma's house with her and some of my other friends. I met a boy there. He is pretty good friend with the three girls I went there with. He is 19 turning twenty next week. Well, I ...
A. 6 August 2010: Clearly your boyfriend is no longer the guy for you. Let him go so he can find someone else. Then spend time alone and work out what you want. This older guy might seem appealing, but everyone appeals when we first get to know them. It's only later ... (read in full...)
Married but very attracted to a female!
Q. Hi, I'm 26 yrs old and am a doctor. In fact, am doing my residency. I married my childhood sweetheart three years ago and we're going on just fine. I've had crushes on female celebs before in my teens but I've never looked at a real woman in a ...
A. 6 August 2010: You might well find her pregnancy is what is causing her to be like this (I'm sure you'd understand that being a doctor). Now you're a doctor, so you're smart. Remain smart and pull away from her. This is a pregnant woman who is married. Her child ... (read in full...)
Why isn't he hard the whole time we fool around?
Q. my partner is 42 and I am 22. We do not have full, penetrative sex but we do fool around, have oral sex and I give him hand jobs. However, I have noticed that when I give him hand jobs or oral he will be hard, but when we take some time to kiss or ...
A. 6 August 2010: Think of a man has having two brains. He has a brain and a penis. And as Robin Williams famously said "only enough blood to feed one or the other". A man physically can't stay hard all the time. Blood moves around, depending on what's happening. So ... (read in full...)
Questions about my first pregnancy!
Q. As some of you may know I'm pregnant with my cousins baby and were about to get married. This is my first baby so i got some questions. 1~ Is it normal to have weird and unusual cravings? 2~ Why does my baby constantly kick me? 3~ What causes me...
A. 6 August 2010: Yes. Perfectly. That will be those hormones again. ... (read in full...)
She broke up with me saying she's going back to her ex for everyone else, not herself
Q. im 31 and met a girl of 23, she was with someone who she has 2 kids with, i never felt happy about seing her but she was very insistent as i felt guilty for what we was doing, it was a case for the first 2-3 weeks that we would meet every other ...
A. 6 August 2010: Tex this - "What we had is over. I am moving on. Good luck."
Then never take notice of her again. ... (read in full...)
Should I cut off all contact with my boyfriend?
Q. "OP Own Title" I have had this bf for almost 2 years and we recently broke up because he has a very bad temper and likes to verbally abuse me when we argue. I am sweet and tend to be too forgiving but I tried giving him another chance and he came ...
A. 5 August 2010: Yes. Never speak to this man again. The problem with being nice and forgiving, is that you all too often see the good and never the bad. This guy is just appalling. Just appalling. And you can do so much better than a man who basically takes ... (read in full...)
Never had sex, now have the opportunity with a hot girl who I don't love. Should I go for it or save myself?
Q. I'm very uncertain about this one particular circumstance coming up for me. Let me explain... I'm 17. I've lived abroad my entire life. I've never had sex, I've never kissed a girl. The supposed reason is this; where I live, the women have a par...
A. 5 August 2010: Don't do it. She might get hurt, you'll feel bad. Wait for a girl you truly care about. ... (read in full...)
Questions about my first pregnancy!
Q. As some of you may know I'm pregnant with my cousins baby and were about to get married. This is my first baby so i got some questions. 1~ Is it normal to have weird and unusual cravings? 2~ Why does my baby constantly kick me? 3~ What causes me...
A. 5 August 2010: I know I'm a guy, so my response won't be as useful as a woman's. But I hope it's better than nothing.
1 - Yes. Totally normal. Some women have a craving for chocolate, others for sex, others for full roast dinners. The list is endless and ofte... (read in full...)
Do I say this friendship is over, or do I let something like this pass?
Q. So my best friend bailed from a kayaking trip the night before we were supposed to leave. I called the company and they said the 150$ had to be paid anyway and no refunds could be made. I told my friend this and she said "no it's your fault you ...
A. 5 August 2010: Give her the middle finger and leave her well out of your life. Clearly this woman has severe issues. ... (read in full...)
How can I be with my boyfriend and control my anxiety if he's the one causing it?
Q. sooooo im 16. ever since 6th grade iv been in love with this boy, we started dating in 8th grade and it didnt go so well. we went out again in 9th grade and it finally got serious, weve been together ever since. its been a year and 5 months ...
A. 5 August 2010: You're not going to overcome this. You're just not. He's an abuser, and he will continue to abuse you. Like too many other women, you are making the big mistake of thinking he will change, and you're accepting violence and abuse for no reason. You ... (read in full...)
What can I do when my best friend is in severe heartbreak mode?
Q. My best friend and I were the oldest virgins we knew. Her at age 23 and me at age 24. We prized our innocence and were trying to wait for marriage, or at the very least a long-term committed and loving relationship. But, we recently lost our ...
A. 5 August 2010: A box of tissues, a comfortable shoulder, a good ear and patience That's all you need. It'll take a more than a few days for her to get over it. But that's really all you can do. You can't fix it for her. She has to do this herself. ... (read in full...)
He is married with a child yet his texts are flirty and he seems to take an unusual interest in my Facebook page...
Q. Not sure if I'm reading to much in to this but here goes. There was a guy at work who I barely knew and we ended up going on a course together with a couple of other people from work. Since the course he emailed me frequently at work asking pers...
A. 5 August 2010: I'm thinking this married man isn't telling his wife what he's up to. I'm thinking that he might be after using you whilst keeping his wife. I'm thinking that you shouldn't be in contact with him as much. ... (read in full...)
How long will the pain of a break-up last for?
Q. The man I have been with dumped me this morning after three years of dating . He stated he is depressed and blamed me. Said he needs to find himself . What want to know is how long does it take to mend a broken heart . I was /am. In love with this ...
A. 5 August 2010: A day? 6 months? A year?
No one can answer that. You can only take it one step at a time. It took my 6 months to get over my ex once. That was because I cut contact, focused on myself and got back out there with my friends. My best friend, in cont... (read in full...)
The guy I liked got excited when he found out I was a virgin, is that a good or bad thing?
Q. Hey..well there was a guy I liked and he went to school with my sister's bf soo he would ask questions about me soo one day he ask my sister's bf am I a virgin and my sister bf said yes and then the boy got excited and said he was goin to jack me ...
A. 5 August 2010: You can take it from a man that this is a bad thing. You'll be another notch on his bedpost, so to speak. All he wants his to have his wicked way, then he'll dump you. Bad thing. Avoid him. A guy who actually respects you won't suddenly get excited ... (read in full...)
I am ugly and need a boyfriend
Q. [Moderator's Note: OP's own title] hi im 15 and live in nz i have never been popular a1l . at school people avoid me and call me names and i really want a bf but no one wants me because im ugly and quiet, at home its not much better my dad is dead ...
A. 5 August 2010: I've found that the ones who are called 'ugly' are quite often pretty, and others are just jealous. So I don't think you're ugly.
I do think that you're being bullied, and that coupled with the loss of your father has had a huge effect on your... (read in full...)
Does he fancy me?
Q. Hi, I wanna know if this guy fancies me. We were mates before i moved and have talked on facebook. Now I've moved back were talking till late hours. The night before last he said I was good looking and asked if I liked anyone. Also at the end of the ...
A. 5 August 2010: He fancies you. ... (read in full...)
I really don't understand what he is thinking or feeling!
Q. Hi everyone, I posted this the other day but didn't get any replies and more has happened since then so I thought I'd try again. So I posted a question on here a while ago, http://www.dearcupid.org/question/fallen-in-love-with-my-be...
A. 5 August 2010: Yes, I'm pretty sure he likes you. Why won't he made a move? He's as confused as you are. It's very hard to go from being just friends and into a relationship. He may well be scared that it will go wrong. He may well now know how you feel. I think ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with him even though he wont wear condoms and I'm not on birth control?
Q. i've been with my bf for 1year. hes my first love and im his he's two years older than me.. we are both vigins.. and homecoming night b4 his big game.. i well lets just say i wanna have sex with him.. he gave me i ring and we are getting married ...
A. 5 August 2010: NO NO NO NO NO!
1 - He might be diseased.
2 - You will get pregnant.
3 - He and you will be arrested.
4 - You'll never have any freedom again. ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to stop sitting next to me, without saying it directly to his face?
Q. C and I became friends late last year. Soon, I developed feelings for him. Around March this year, I heard from a friend that apparently he suspected that I had a crush on him, though he never talked to me about it. We remained friends. A few mon...
A. 5 August 2010: You need to start speaking to others in the class. There is no other way, unless you'd rather come out and say you just don't want him to sit next to you. ... (read in full...)
Why is she begging for me to be in her life when she is still with my ex friend who she dumped me for?
Q. Well i have a major problem involving my ex girlfriend. Well a few months back my ex fell for some tricks my ex best friend pulled to steal her away from me. She had been friends with him nearly as long as i had known him and she did not believe ...
A. 5 August 2010: Have nothing to do with her. Ever seen Fatal Attraction? That's the best reason ever to stop contacting this woman. ... (read in full...)
Why is she begging for me to be in her life when she is still with my ex friend who she dumped me for?
Q. Well i have a major problem involving my ex girlfriend. Well a few months back my ex fell for some tricks my ex best friend pulled to steal her away from me. She had been friends with him nearly as long as i had known him and she did not believe ...
A. 4 August 2010: Will you just cut contact with this woman! Stop entertaining her. Change your phone number. She's just a crappy woman who is having plenty of fun playing with you. Cut contact, now! Who cares what she thinks. Who cares if she thinks your the bad ... (read in full...)
She broke up with me saying she's going back to her ex for everyone else, not herself
Q. im 31 and met a girl of 23, she was with someone who she has 2 kids with, i never felt happy about seing her but she was very insistent as i felt guilty for what we was doing, it was a case for the first 2-3 weeks that we would meet every other ...
A. 8 July 2010: You need to end this now. She may see you as cruel. No one else will. But she dumped you for her ex, which is worse inn my opinion. You need to end it now, or you'll just be a lap dog to her and other women will pass you by. ... (read in full...)
She broke up with me saying she's going back to her ex for everyone else, not herself
Q. im 31 and met a girl of 23, she was with someone who she has 2 kids with, i never felt happy about seing her but she was very insistent as i felt guilty for what we was doing, it was a case for the first 2-3 weeks that we would meet every other ...
A. 8 July 2010: Cut ties. If she went back to this guy once, she'll do it again and again. You don't need someone with so many issues on her life. She clearly has a lot going on, and it's also pretty clear that for all her saying she's doing it for her kid's sake, ... (read in full...)
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