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... Send *SAddict a private message | | | *SAddict's profile:I'm 18, live in SC. I have depression and that holds me back sometimes. I love this site and love to give advice though I rarely follow my own. I hope my advice helps someone and if it does, I'm happy. If not, at least I can say I tried. If you ever want to talk send me a message. I'm always here :). |
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I don't feel the spark for my boyfriend whom I am in a long distance relationship with, and I have cheated on him three times now!
Q. Dear cupid, I need your help. I have been dating my boyfriend for 1year now. its a long distance relationship. Of late my boyfriend does call me as usual and all but lately I feel like he's kinda changed he is too busy for me, he doesn't give me ...
A. 27 November 2011: It's best to end the relationship. You're not as happy as you can be and this relationship is obviously not fulfilling your needs. So end it so you both can be happy and if you don't feel like you can handle another LDR, then don't get into one.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to have sex but I know he'll tell everyone!
Q. So I was faced with 2 problems this past weekend..first..my boyfriend told me that his mom doesn't like me...she use to but I don't talk to her in public..so she thinks I'm being like a snob or something which is absolutely not the case...I have ...
A. 27 November 2011: Talk to your boyfriend's mother, even if you don't want to. You don't have to have a full on conversation, just say hi to her and acknowldege that she's there. And if you don't want to do that, then just let her know of your stress and your family ... (read in full...)
He's controlling. How can I get him to not control my life?
Q. X is someone I recently met. He's fun to talk to and we started seeing each other more often. We hung out for a few week and really liked each other. When he was younger he never had a serious relationship except one for 6 months. All the other gi...
A. 26 November 2011: You can't get him to change overnight since he's been this way for a while. I don't think there's any real method to do this except to stand your ground and stick with all of your friends (guy or girl). They were there before him and they must be p... (read in full...)
Why does my girlfriend insist on including her ex boyfriend in everything?
Q. My problem is simple: I hate that my girlfriend is friends with her ex boyfriend. They were together for 5 years and I understand how that's important and that they learned a lot from each other, and I've reached a point where I'm actually okay with ...
A. 25 November 2011: I would be as uncomfortable as you are, maybe even more. You need to talk to your girlfriend again. Tell her you feel that he is overstepping his boundaries with her and it would be nice if he could cut back. Exes can be friends, but it shouldn't be ... (read in full...)
Is sex outside the marriage infidelity when it's a 5 year plus sexless marriage?
Q. I have a very long term friendship with a woman. Her marriage has been dead for many years but stays because of her high school children and financial reasons. My marriage has been over for 10 years. During coffee last week , sex became a topic. She ...
A. 25 November 2011: It's still infidelity. It doesn't matter how long she's been married. If she had an affair, she would be throwing her marriage vows out the window. And if she's not happy, then she can't complain unless she tries to fix that with counseling or at ... (read in full...)
Is it bad that my friend who is 19 has foreplay with strangers?
Q. Do you think it's bad if a girl who is only nineteen, has foreplay, but not sex with guys she's met on a night out? Because, my flatmate does this and says it's being young and having fun. She said she wouldn't ever sleep with anyone she just ...
A. 11 November 2011: I do agree that it might as well be considered a one-night stand. Even though she's not actually having intercourse, she is doing activity that can cause infection if she's not getting checked regularly. And as a 19 yr old, that's propably not high ... (read in full...)
My husband thinks I'm cheating on him but I'm not!
Q. Around 4 clock in the morning my husband gets off of work. He decided to take the trash out this morning at that time. A single sheet of blank loose leaf paper was in front of our door when he went, Now he didn't think much of it until when he came ...
A. 11 November 2011: I think your husband's overreacting. Even though it's kind of weird that the man would be out at 4 in the morning, staring at your husband. Your husband should believe you and has no right to not trust you unless you've given him reason not to. I ... (read in full...)
She has been abusive but threatens that she can't live without me if I leave. please help!
Q. 2 years 3 months ago i was single and i was just out of an open relationship when i made friend with one girl on facebook.we started to chat everyday and she kept on telling me how her boyfriend was treating her badly....i felt very sorry for ...
A. 31 October 2011: This is really affecting you so you need to tell another adult. Her parents or a close family member of hers is a good person to tell. That way, she can get the help she needs or at least the support to stay strong before she makes an awful decision ... (read in full...)
She has been abusive but threatens that she can't live without me if I leave. please help!
Q. 2 years 3 months ago i was single and i was just out of an open relationship when i made friend with one girl on facebook.we started to chat everyday and she kept on telling me how her boyfriend was treating her badly....i felt very sorry for ...
A. 30 October 2011: You have to leave her. It's going to be hard, but you have to do what's best for yourself. You may love this girl, but she's a troublemaker and it's already gotten pretty bad. And it can get worse, but don't let it. This girl is emotionally ... (read in full...)
How can I change my boring husband?
Q. its been 7 years when i got married. my marriage is like a rock. when we got some fight, we did 'nt talk for so long for about 3 months, is the worst..sometimes 1 month or less..my husband is a type of person that when you start talking, he will ...
A. 30 October 2011: Talk to him one more time and see if that might help. Let him know that you need a husband who's always interested in you and willing to take the lead and be the person you want at the right time. If that doesn't get through to him, then try some ... (read in full...)
How can I change my boring husband?
Q. its been 7 years when i got married. my marriage is like a rock. when we got some fight, we did 'nt talk for so long for about 3 months, is the worst..sometimes 1 month or less..my husband is a type of person that when you start talking, he will ...
A. 30 October 2011: Talk to him one more time and see if that might help. Let him know that you need a husband who's always interested in you and willing to take the lead and be the person you want at the right time. If that doesn't get through to him, then try some ... (read in full...)
Why would a woman refuse to do a DNA test to prove to him that he is the father, if she was certain that he was the father?
Q. I had a friend ask me for advice and I was just wondering if I can some other people's ideas before giving him any advice. My friend had a one night stand with a girl (I know for certain it was not a relationship, just a once off) anyway a few ...
A. 30 October 2011: There could be many different reasons, but I don't know of any. My point is, she can't expect for this guy to believe her without some proof. They didn't have any type of friendship, it was only one night, so he's being reasonable and she isn't. If ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend cut off contact with me
Q. I've been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for just over a year now. For the last month or so, things have been a bit hard, we've been fighting and arguing a lot and we haven't had much time together. She acts in a lot of plays and stud...
A. 26 October 2011: I think this is her way of breaking it off with you. I'm sure she would've taken at least 5 minutes to communicate with you if she wanted to be with you. She shouldn't have done it this way because it's cowardly and it has kept you guessing. I would ... (read in full...)
They are 'taken' So Why do people see married men/women in the first place?
Q. Note: if you honestly didn't know he/she was with someone, i undertand completely. I have seen so many questions on here about people being broken hearted about their lovers leaving them and all I can think is, what did you expect? I keep t...
A. 15 October 2011: I love this question. Any person involved with someone who's married deserves no sympathy at all when things go wrong, in my opinion. They think things are going to last forever and that their lover is going to leave their spouse for them. It's so ... (read in full...)
Should I dump my boyfriend ?
Q. Should i dump my boyfriend ? I stayed at his place from thursday until yesterday and we argued on friday and saturday.we argued on friday because he wanted us to lose our virginity together,especially as it was his birthday.we couldnt though as i ...
A. 9 October 2011: Leave this guy. He's a loser and isn't worth your time. He shouldn't be throwing tantrums just because you're nervous about sex. We are all nervous at some point, and he needs to get over himself. And he shouldn't be mad just because you don't like ... (read in full...)
I can't guarantee I won't cheat on my boyfriend if I visit my ex.
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. I wasn't too sure about going out with him at first, as he wasn't the type I would usually go for. I went for it, and found it the best decision I'd ever made. He is the most caring, ...
A. 7 October 2011: You shouldn't go to see your ex at all if you're not even sure that you will stay faithful. Your current bf has a right to be worried as there's really no reason for exes to stay in contact if there's no house or kids involved. I think you should ... (read in full...)
Do these crazy dreams mean we are meant to have one more child?
Q. i had a dream my ex got me pregnant and then another night had another dream that I GOT HIM PREGNANT ... what does this mean? and we have an 8 month old together does it mean we are meant to have 1 more child?...
A. 27 September 2011: I don't think these dreams meant anything. Dreams are crazy sometimes, and we shouldn't rely on them for decision-making. You will know whether or not to have another child with him if you two decide to make things work, and commit to each other and ... (read in full...)
I hid the 'girl' side of myself from her and now I think it's coming back out!
Q. Hello everyone, I'm 22 and I'm in a healthy and happy 2 years relationship with a girl. Everything is fine, but I hide something to her: at 16, I started to crossdress and I created that other side of me. I gave that side a name, buying myself gi...
A. 25 September 2011: I think this is something you should've discussed before moving in, but too late for that. Just sit her down(sorry if I'm making it sound too easy cause I'm sure it's not), and tell her about this. After two years, you should be comfortable enough ... (read in full...)
My ex and I text each other a lot. Does this mean he still has feelings for me?
Q. ok so some years ago i was dating this guy. He was awesome. We didnt went too far on our relationship just held hands kissed n some cuddling, then he got me at a point where i was so head over hills for him and he tells me he didnt wanted us to co...
A. 24 September 2011: If he knows you still have feelings for him, but all he's doing is texting you, then I think he's just messing with your head. If he was going to text you in the first place, then he should've told you what he wanted from the beginning. This has ... (read in full...)
Idealistic Love VS Realistic Love
Q. Idealistic love is attraction, intimacy, perfection. Realistic love is attraction AND attachment, intimacy AND commitment and perfection found in imperfection. Everyone wants to be in idealistic love. Fact: It only happens in fantasies, movie...
A. 22 September 2011: I love this article. I think you make some good points and it's making me question my feelings for someone in my life.
Hope you write more :).... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't want to ruin the friendship but then why are we fooling around sometimes?
Q. Im going to try to keep this brief but I have been friends with this guy for nearly 3 years and he has become my best guy friend. Over the last few months things have been moving to a more serious level and things have moved passed friendship. We ...
A. 21 September 2011: If this guy really wanted to keep your friendship, then he would've made sure that you two do all you can to respect the boundaries of friendship. He may be feeling something more(maybe), and if he is, then he needs to come out and say it instead of ... (read in full...)
My sister-in-law is driving me nuts!
Q. I live with my sister in law. My husband is currently out of the country. She wants to sit all day and will not do anything to help in the house, if you ask her, she tells her mother, who in turn calls me and tells me to stop bothering her as she is ...
A. 21 September 2011: You need to lay down some rules. It's YOUR house, not hers. If she wants to lay around all day, then she should go back home, or purchase her own house. Tell her that you would like for her to help you around the house and just because she's your ... (read in full...)
Should cheating ever be forgiven?
Q. I moved in with my fiance, and after 14 months of being together our relationship came to an end after i found out he had been cheating on me for about 2 months every time he went to work outta town. It's now been 6 months and he is no longer with ...
A. 21 September 2011: Cheating should be forgiven, but that doesn't mean that the person deserves another chance. He wasn't willing to be faithful and if he couldn't be, then he should've let you know instead of getting you in this mess. I don't think you should give him ... (read in full...)
Why am I still pining for my army lover though he treats me like dirt?
Q. Ive been involved with a guy for 9 months and Im going out of my mind with frustration. To say I fell for him hook, line and sinker would be an understatement.I was totally and utterly in love with him. However, we couldnt properly be together ...
A. 20 September 2011: I think you just need to move on from your army lover. He's let you down a lot and you said he made it seem like being with you was a hassle. You need to be with someone who's sincerely interested and won't try to hurt you intentionally, because I'm ... (read in full...)
Am I obliged to tell his wife the details about the sex we had?
Q. A few months back I slept with my married boss twice. We got on great in work and in general, one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. Things were awkward and a mishap in communication led to a second 'mistake'. We agreed it would ...
A. 20 September 2011: I think that you aren't obligated to tell her anything. Yeah, you slept with him, but sex is private no matter who it's with and the details should be kept between the two ppl, unless they have a desire for others to know. So tell her that you are ... (read in full...)
How do I let go of the bitterness towards my husband's affair?
Q. My husband of 6 years told me 2 years ago that he never loved me,this is when i discovered he was having an affair. he said so many times that i forced myself on him. Somehow we got out of the situation, but he never apologised to me. I am still ...
A. 18 September 2011: Why aren't you divorced from him by now? He said he never loved you, so why be with someone who doesn't feel the same way you feel. If he thinks you forced yourself on him, then he should've been able to walk away instead of putting you in this ... (read in full...)
Fwb ignoring me done nothing wrong
Q. Hi this is my problem my fwb who I have been having sex with for the past 6 months has just recently started ignoring me I text him last wednesday and got no reply and today he completely blanked me and walked straight past me what have I done wrong ...
A. 18 September 2011: I could be wrong, but it sounds like he's not into a FWB with you anymore. He could've been busy when he didn't reply to your texts, but to ignore you on the streets was rude. I think you should just move on from this guy. Let him be the one to ... (read in full...)
G/f said she was thinking of another girl, not me
Q. My girlfriend, whose also my best friend(we're both girls), got high the other day. When she was listening to music, she told me she was thinking about another girl, one that wasn't me. Is this a little thing or should I be worried?...
A. 18 September 2011: I don't think you should be worried. You really haven't told us anything that should make you worry. Sometimes ppl think about other ppl that aren't their partner. It's normal as long as she's not obsessing or thinking about them 24/7. So there's no ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my girlfriend about this incident?
Q. Hello there, alright this is serious so please I don't want people telling me about the age of legal sex, I know thank you. I found this girl, she is just like me in almost everyway and we have started dating, and we are really close now, I have no ...
A. 18 September 2011: Tell your girlfriend. She deserves to know and being drunk is no excuse. Even if you were drunk, you had a sense that you were doing something wrong and you didn't walk away. She needs to know the truth. And if you care about her, you'll tell her ... (read in full...)
Both of us like each other...but she has a boyfriend!!
Q. Hi all again, I've got a problem this time with a girl I really like. I met her about a month ago and we really like eachother. Even though I knew she had a boyfriend, I told her how I felt about her. She told me that she felt the same way about ...
A. 18 September 2011: Leave her alone until she is single. And right now, it doesn't seem like she likes you enough to break up with him. So until she does, then it's a good idea to just stop communicating.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to take pictures of women when they don't know?
Q. Do you think taking pictures of women ass or front is offensive? Why if they don't realize?...
A. 17 September 2011: Do you really have to ask? It is disrespectful to the woman who has no idea that you're taking a picture of an intimate part of her body. Get to know the women you want to photograph or at least ask them if it's okay, but don't photograph them ... (read in full...)
Can you got STD from sleeping unprotected from 2 men?
Q. Hi, can I ask if a woman sleeps with 2 guys unprotected, can either of them or her get a STI/STD if they are all clean before sleeping with her. Thanks...
A. 16 September 2011: If they are clean/free of STDs/STIs, then no, no one can catch anything. But it's better to get checked often for those and if that's not an option, then use protection.... (read in full...)
Friend called my behavior slutty, do I forgive him?
Q. Me and my best (male) friend have known each other for years, only since recently (around 1-2years) we started getting closer to each other. First it was hands holding and then I ended up in bed with him. I do not feel anything romantically for ...
A. 14 September 2011: I think you should forgive him. You don't have to stop your behavior, but you should listen to him. True best friends would never hurt you intentionally and he was just stating his opinion. Everyone has one. If I lost my best friend to something ... (read in full...)
Can Nair damage your private area?
Q. dear cupid, what are the risks associated with using nair on your bikini area (and i don't mean just the line...i mean everywhere)??? i've heard that it's pretty painful, but is there anything beyond that??? like, could it actually damage ...
A. 14 September 2011: I tried it in that area around two yrs ago and it did burn me. It wasn't unbearable but it was painful enough that I've decided to not use it down there again. And not much of my hair got removed, so it wasn't worth it for me. But maybe it will work ... (read in full...)
Husband said he was joking when he said he wanted me to get pregnant. Now I'm pregnant and he doesn't want the baby!
Q. I am pregnant, my brand new husband (9.9.2011)doesn't want me to keep the child. We both have children from previous relationships. When I wasn't pregnant he was constantly telling me that he wanted me to have his son (I have all daughters) and ...
A. 14 September 2011: First, you should think about yourself. Do you have a genuine interest in keeping this baby or do you think that it would've been better to wait and you don't want it? Make up your mind about this and then discuss it with your husband. Your husband ... (read in full...)
How do I understand this? our relationship is ok but strained due to her fantasy method of masturbating to photos of her female friends.
Q. I caught my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years (we are now sophomores in college, but started dating in high school) masturbating to photos of her female friends from our high school. Long story, but she thought I was still taking a shower one day this ...
A. 11 September 2011: You shouldn't feel threatened or worried that she's doing this. Many people don't actually think about their partner when their fantasizing or masturbating, and some do. I don't think you should hold this against her. It's what she prefers to get ... (read in full...)
Should I disgrace myself by asking her out or should I do the pragmatic thing and refrain from doing so?
Q. I'm about to pose this question which will probably leave most of your readers disgusted and repulsed but I need to share my sorrows with sympathetic listeners so I'll simply go ahead and do it anyway. I've recently developed a crush on this re...
A. 11 September 2011: There is nothing disgusting about your post. The only one who's lowering your chances with this girl is you. Just because you have a learning disability doesn't mean she's out of your league or that you don't have a chance with her. You've had this ... (read in full...)
How can I convince my Boyfriend to help me get pregnant even though he does not need to help me bring the baby up?
Q. i need help... hi i am asking your help to convinceing my bf to get me pregnant but its not working. he does not want to have children or get marryed but i would like to some day soon for children and marry later on... he is 27 and i am 19 i k...
A. 10 September 2011: I'm not trying to judge you here. If he doesn't want kids, then he doesn't want kids. Whether you're going to raise him/her yourself isn't the point. If he gets you pregnant, he will have a child which is something he doesn't want. And even if you ... (read in full...)
Seems like I am the last virgin in my college. Have so many questions on virginity and sex. Can you help?
Q. Right well im 17 years old and im still a virgin, i feel like im the only one which in my college there is only a few. Ive had so many oppurtunities to have sex but something keeps stopping me. Im just so scared i dont like my body and i dont real...
A. 10 September 2011: You are not ready for sex. If you were, nothing would be stopping you and you wouldn't have so many insecurities about yourself. No one's good at sex their first time. And what fun would it be if you were perfect at it every time? Save yourself for ... (read in full...)
Do people still believe in horoscopes and can horoscopes help relationships in any way?
Q. Hi, everyone I was just wondering if any of you guys believe in Horoscopes, the perfect match, and that you know. I find it kinda weird when people start saying that this is not good for her and that is better, ask about his zodiac signal. B...
A. 10 September 2011: I have really never believed that zodiac signs could determine the perfect couple. I think the couple can determine that on their own when they're happy and have all of the qualities of a relationship they've been looking for. A lot of people do ... (read in full...)
Is it better to distance yourself or to keep on trying after being rejected by a friend?
Q. SO i have this friend. I asked her out/told her I liked her and she said that she was not rejecting me but literally had no time to make it work, so it would be unfair to the both of us. She said that maybe in the future something may happen but not ...
A. 10 September 2011: Be her friend for now. I'm sure she was honest with you, but she might not have been. But as a friend of hers, you have to trust that she's telling the truth and respect that not dating you is the best thing for her right now. She may have really ... (read in full...)
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