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... Send *SAddict a private message | | | *SAddict's profile:I'm 18, live in SC. I have depression and that holds me back sometimes. I love this site and love to give advice though I rarely follow my own. I hope my advice helps someone and if it does, I'm happy. If not, at least I can say I tried. If you ever want to talk send me a message. I'm always here :). |
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Is it better to distance yourself or to keep on trying after being rejected by a friend?
Q. SO i have this friend. I asked her out/told her I liked her and she said that she was not rejecting me but literally had no time to make it work, so it would be unfair to the both of us. She said that maybe in the future something may happen but not ...
A. 10 September 2011: Be her friend for now. I'm sure she was honest with you, but she might not have been. But as a friend of hers, you have to trust that she's telling the truth and respect that not dating you is the best thing for her right now. She may have really ... (read in full...)
Did I do wrong? He had broken up with her. Then we had sex. He went back to her. Now she is angry with me.
Q. So basically. I was seeing this guy, and we ended up sleeping together.. the problem is, he was an ex of an acquaintance, she wasn't a close friend or anything, but I did know her and we would be nice if we ever bumped into each other.. . I felt ...
A. 10 September 2011: I don't think you did anything wrong. He was single and you were also, so I don't see the problem. Acquaintances don't really know each other or don't take the time to get to know each other, so it's not like you were best friends. She really has no ... (read in full...)
How could he? Feel so hurt after finding my ex cheated on me before we broke up.
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of nearly 7 years 6 months ago because we were so different and wanted different things. I know what I did was for the best but it still hurt, anyway he was so heartbroken but turned on me spreading horrible lies and ...
A. 7 September 2011: You just have to make yourself get over this. You're already broken up, so dwelling on his cheating won't make things better, you'll just get more angry. But just don't think about him. Find fun ways to distract yourself from him and show yourself ... (read in full...)
I had to find out from someone else that my boyfriend has a 5 year old!
Q. I recently found out my boyfriend has a kid. Not from him, but from a mutual friend who didn't realize that I didn't know. His kid is ~5 yrs old, I am 25 and he is 29. I met him 9 months ago and we dated briefly for a month. I broke up with him ...
A. 6 September 2011: It's been months and you're just now finding out about this? There really is no excuse for this one. I'm sure he had plenty of opportunities and if he thought he was going to be able to hide a child, he's clearly mistaken. No matter what he may have ... (read in full...)
While he was away in the military I suffered a miscarriage. Should I tell him my feelings?
Q. I like this guy, and he is in the Military. We been hangin out a couple of times before he left to go over-seas a few months ago While he was away i found out i was pregnant by him, but had a miscarriage Now he have return for a few weeks. I want to ...
A. 6 September 2011: You should tell him how you feel. But if you decide not to, then I still think he's entitled to know that he could've been a father. And he should know your feelings and respond so you don't waste time wondering what's happening between you two.... (read in full...)
The boy I love seems to hate me
Q. Hello I am a 15 year old boy in my 3d year of high school. I realise that my question might seem childish or ridiculous to some, but if you remember being in love in High School, you understand what I mean. (Just to be clear, I am homosexual) ...
A. 5 September 2011: You propably will never know why you're not good enough for him. You did nothing but be yourself and have fun and that's all you needed to do. Forget about this guy. If he's going to talk to you and then ignore you for no reason, then he's not worth ... (read in full...)
How do I come clean? Or should I keep quiet and take it to the grave?
Q. HELP!! I cheated on my boyfriend to get revenge on him for cheating but I haven't been able to tell him. I know he'll get jealous, but I'm afraid he will break up with me and I don't want that because things are great now. He thinks he's the only ...
A. 5 September 2011: You need to tell him the truth. He's entitled to know if his gf is being faithful or not and you owe it to yourself to clear your conscience. If you don't tell him, then this relationship will have no honesty from your part. And if you keep this ... (read in full...)
We are supposed to be getting married in 2 months time but he has already stopped being affectionate. What should I do?
Q. My fiance and I have been together for 7 years and we have 5 year old twins together. He is such an amazing dad, loving, nurturing and helps with cooking and cleaning. The sad part is, we are getting married in 2 months but this last year he has...
A. 5 September 2011: Do not get married. Things will only get worse if you marry him. You two have been together for 7 years and you two should have no problem communicating. And if he's going to get defensive just because you decide to share your feelings with him, ... (read in full...)
These past few days he's been different. mean to me. How does anyone cope when a boy friend gets like this?
Q. Hello Everyone, I am pretty upset now and don't know how anyone deals/copes with it. Anyways my boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 4 years now. We had our ups and downs, never broke up EVER. If we did it lasted like 2 days. These pas...
A. 5 September 2011: Leave this guy. He made it clear that he sought out another girl other than you. He's not worth your time anymore. He seems very controlling the way he guilt tripped you into going out with your friends. If you really want closure, then tell him how ... (read in full...)
I am so lonely in my marriage. what do I need to do to get through this?
Q. i have ben married for a number of years. Due to health(hers) intercourse with her is out. She no longer has anything to do with me ( in bed)at all. i am so lonely it hurts. For 2 years now i am so fafthfull it is unreal.i would like to talk to someo...
A. 5 September 2011: Well if you're not happy, have you thought about leaving? Even though you love her and she has a condition, your needs should be met. You only have one life and you shouldn't spend everyday wishing you could get affection and intimacy. Make it ... (read in full...)
I don't feel close with my parents and I feel like I can only be myself with my friends
Q. I don't know what my question is really. I just know that I don't really feel happy 90% of the time when I'm at home. I don't feel close to my parents and I feel like I'm being judged sometimes. My parents think I don't take pride in myself just ...
A. 5 September 2011: They do try and talk to me and my dad said yesterday how he feels that I'm not happy. And he's kind of right because most of the time I'm not. But they've tried to have a relationship and they've been telling me for years that I need to open up to ... (read in full...)
Perfect one minute, drifting the next, what should I do?
Q. So I have been depressed and heart broken for the past two weeks and a half now. I was engaged to be married and he recently broke up with me saying that he gave up on me a long time ago because I wasn't as affectionate to him as I use to be. The ...
A. 4 September 2011: Leave this guy alone and stop communicating with him. This guy is playing mind games with you and doesn't know what he wants. You have better things to do than to get caught up in these games. If he wanted to really be with you, then you would still ... (read in full...)
Texting male friends constantly while we were watching a movie, should I be okay with this?
Q. So I met this girl, we hit it off And started seeing eachother. One of the things we talked about was how her last boyfriend was very controling, wouldn't let her have male friends, go out to the bar with her girlfriends And so forth. Well I don't ...
A. 4 September 2011: I think you have a right to be a little irritated. She came over to spend time with you, not text her friend. If she planned to do that, then she shouldn't have come over. I think talking to her about this wouldn't make you seem controlling. You're ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend the truth??
Q. ok my "friend" has a girlfriend and i am madly in love with her. I told her my feelings and she didn't say she didn't like me or nothing will every happen but my friend has a little instinct that i like her as he has told her that and she told me. ...
A. 4 September 2011: If he already has an instinct, then there's no point in keeping it a secret. Just because you tell him how you feel about her doesn't mean you will ruin the friendship. What you have to do is not act on it and make sure you don't give your friend ... (read in full...)
Urgent help
Q. Dear cupid i need solution of this complicated problem. I have nobody to share my grief. My mother died when i was small, since then i am a very sensitive kind of girl. Recently i am perplexed and really need your help..so here it goes : i have ...
A. 4 September 2011: If this guy is contemplating suicide and murder because you might leave him, then he's really not worth being with. And he should be sticking up for you when it comes to his mother but he's not. And he has to start soon or you would never be ... (read in full...)
I have a fantasy about my wife being with another woman. Should I tell her?
Q. Hi I need some advice I've been with my wife for a while now and I know she is bi curious. I have always had the fantasy of seeing her with another girl. Do I explain I no about her curious fantasy and ask her if she wants to live it out? I no she ...
A. 4 September 2011: I think you should let her know your feelings so you can see if she's open to the possiblity of exploring with a woman. There's nothing wrong with sharing things like this with your wife and you shouldn't feel scared to. So talk to her about it and ... (read in full...)
Lesbian friend going too far!!
Q. Hey everyone, I am a 16 year old female, I have a boyfriend and I love him to death but my best friend is really starting to get in the way! She admited to me two weeks ago that she is a lesbian and she hasn't stopped harassing me since. She keeps ...
A. 4 September 2011: You definitely need to end this friendship if you want to stop feeling uncomfortable. She is harassing and forcing herself on you, which you shouldn't allow at all, even if she's your best friend. Talk to her one more time and make it clear that if ... (read in full...)
What are purity rings?
Q. I recently heard about purity rings. What are they? Do they have a specific finger they go on? I know they have something ti do with premarital sex, I'm assuming that it means you'll wait for marriage? If thats true, do you have to wait till ...
A. 4 September 2011: Purity rings are worn by people who want to be abstinent or be virgins until marriage. I think they would be worn on the right hand, propably on the ring finger since the people who are wearing it propably aren't married. If you're going to wear the ... (read in full...)
What are the chances of history repeating? I messed up before and now can't trust me and feel uncomfortable about this girl
Q. One of my good friend's gf keeps trying to hang out with me. I would but I don't really feel comfortable being alone with the gf. I'm not sexually attracted to her whatsoever, but I just don't want my friend to be excluded. I have done some...
A. 4 September 2011: Then tell your friend that you don't look at her in that way. If she doesn't believe you, then she doesn't. But let her know that you have your reasons and that it's best for yourself.... (read in full...)
What are the chances of history repeating? I messed up before and now can't trust me and feel uncomfortable about this girl
Q. One of my good friend's gf keeps trying to hang out with me. I would but I don't really feel comfortable being alone with the gf. I'm not sexually attracted to her whatsoever, but I just don't want my friend to be excluded. I have done some...
A. 4 September 2011: Tell your friend's gf that you prefer if you two don't hang out alone together, due to past experiences. If she can't understand it or accept it, then just keep going on with your life. You are under no obligation to be friends or hang out with ... (read in full...)
I have serious trust issues with men....should I try dating women?
Q. The last year ive been thinking about dating a women/woman. but im kinda in a boring, confusing, and unfaithful (on his part) relationship right now. im really attracted by the beauty of women. and im sexually attracted too. ive never dated a woman. ...
A. 4 September 2011: I think you're looking to date a woman because you've been betrayed by all the previous men in your life. It's okay to date women, but not because all the men you've had have betrayed you. Date a woman because you have a genuine interest in her, not ... (read in full...)
I am so lonely in my marriage. what do I need to do to get through this?
Q. i have ben married for a number of years. Due to health(hers) intercourse with her is out. She no longer has anything to do with me ( in bed)at all. i am so lonely it hurts. For 2 years now i am so fafthfull it is unreal.i would like to talk to someo...
A. 4 September 2011: Maybe you could focus on the things that won't lead or have to do with intercourse. Have romantic dinners with her and just talk with her. Cuddle on the couch, without hoping that it'll lead to anything. Show her that you want her but not in a ... (read in full...)
Snooped and found out that my some guy kissed my GF! Now what?
Q. So i did something bad. I snooped my GF facebook. I found a conversation that she had with her friend. They are talking about a party that my GF friend attended. her friend said something like "3 guys tried to make out with me , they pretty much...
A. 4 September 2011: I think you should just let it go. It seems like she had no intention of anything like this happening, but it just happened. It was just a kiss and she sounds like she never wanted to kiss anyone other than you. So let it go unless you're willing to ... (read in full...)
Is this how things usually are? My new boyfriend rarely hugs, kisses and sometimes does not talk
Q. hi i am new to this site but i need some help... i have a new boyfriend who i have been seeing for 5-6 months now, but it feels like he does not like me the way he been saying and he barely hugs, kisses and sometimes barely talks to me. we do liv...
A. 4 September 2011: Either he's not a very affectionate person or he's just not into you like you thought. Most couples love to show affection to one another and really love to talk. If you've been with him 5 to 6 months then you should be able to tell him that this ... (read in full...)
I'm at a loss as to what to write in our 1 year anniversary card?
Q. Hi, I'd love some ideas from both male and female readers about what to write in my boyfriend's 1 year anniversary card, please. Obviously we've been together a year, and we've been through a lot....good times and not so good times, including a ...
A. 3 September 2011: Just say what you feel. It might sound gushy, but so what? It's been a year and this is a great time to really express how you feel about one another. So tell him how wonderful you think he is and how he makes you happy. He will love that you've put ... (read in full...)
11 years of marriage and my wife has a 1 night stand!
Q. we are married for 11 years she drop me for other guy one night stand she ask me to give her sekond try sins then things does not work out fight everyday i dont trust her anymore the whole day just on her phone i send her sms sometimes she didn,t ...
A. 3 September 2011: You have to determine whether you love your wife enough to move on from this and give her another chance. But it seems that she does not love you like you love her. She's lying to your face and seems to be deliberately avoiding you. Why stay married ... (read in full...)
This may be my biological Dad!
Q. My mom had me when she was about 19, then 3 months later married my biological father as requested by my grandmother. My mom and biological father got divorced before my first birthday because my mom knew that he was not ready to be a dad. My bio...
A. 3 September 2011: You don't have to start a relationship right away with him, but you should try to forgive him. Just start out simple and have a conversation from time to time. Since he missed out on raising you, you get to call the shots when it comes to how fast ... (read in full...)
Do women want to see men dressed provacatively?
Q. We All know men love to see womens' bodies - especially the private bits. Women often play upon this in how they dress, to get attention. My question is whether there is any reciprical feeling in women. Do women like to see any part of the anatomy ...
A. 2 September 2011: I think you should just stick to your trunks. I think a man showing his chest and upper body is as far as he needs to go, but that's just my opinion. Showing more than that or trying to emphasize your privates would make me think you're immature or ... (read in full...)
G/f has been emotionally cheating on me almost since the beginning
Q. My now ex-girlfriend has been developing feelings for this other guy over the last year, and it really pissed me off, and although we're broken up now, I still want to stay with her... =(. I just want help somehow for these feelings? You see, ...
A. 2 September 2011: You will eventually get over this. Even though I'm not fully over some things that happened with me, I know that I will be soon. It's normal to feel this way after a relationship, especially since it's your first. But you have to remember that there ... (read in full...)
Six years and he still won't set a date??
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years, we have been engaged for 6. We do not live together, in fact we only get to see each other maybe once or twice a week because of his work schedule. I love him so much and he says the same. But we ...
A. 29 August 2011: You're going to have to figure out if you love him enough to stay in this arrangement. Since you've already talked to him about this and have gotten nowhere, then that's pretty much all that you can do besides leave him. A 6-year engagement is ... (read in full...)
How do I tell her I am truly really faithful ? And avoid her getting mad at me again?
Q. I need help I know a guy at my age still had hormones and can't help but to notice a pretty girl. I have a girlfriend of 2 years and she can't stand it if I so much as look in a direction of another girl. She says her friends have boyfrien...
A. 28 August 2011: There's no way to tell her without her getting mad. You're just going to have to tell her that she's the only girl you prefer and that she has to believe it. Do you have any idea why she's so insecure? No matter how good our relationships might be, ... (read in full...)
Why every girl my girlfriend is close to wants to be lesbian with her. Is it because of her breast size?
Q. Hi everyone now here's my story for all of you readers. My girlfriend has a tendency to pretty much turn other women on we both think it's cause of her breast size but every single friend she had has one point tried getting in her pants and she ...
A. 28 August 2011: Maybe it's just because she's an attractive woman or maybe it's a different reason. But all she has to do is say no, so you really have nothing to worry about.... (read in full...)
He never calls, Accuses me of things. should I break-up with him for good or what?
Q. Hi! i have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months its a long distance relationship. At first things were ok,he would call every day and now our relationship is on and off. i ended up breaking up with him for a week and we got back together, since we...
A. 28 August 2011: This guy doesn't care about you like he should. Calling their partners is what normal people do. You can find someone better. Leave him.... (read in full...)
My boss and I text each other, now his wife is furious at me. Did I do something wrong?
Q. This is a strange one I'm having mixed opinions about. Basically my boss is 20 years older than me, and married... and male also! However we text back and forth just silly jokes, general day to day stuff, and sometimes just to see how each other are ...
A. 28 August 2011: Maybe it's just me, but I don't think you two should have a friendship outside of work. He's your boss, not your best friend. Even though you may not see anything wrong with it, his wife does, and it's just better to respect her than to keep texting ... (read in full...)
We have sex but he pursues girls, too. I think he has trouble admitting to being gay...
Q. Ok ... I'm in love with my best friend. He's younger than me. We have sex, we talk and we behave like two people who are in a committed relationship. HE, however, hasn't made peace yet with the fact that he's gay. So, I don't understand how he is ...
A. 28 August 2011: Maybe you can still be friends with him, but definitely stop sleeping with the guy. He seems to have no clue as to what he is/wants, but it's obvious that he likes the sex too much to communicate and be honest with you. Get over this guy. He has no ... (read in full...)
Why do some people become racist and rude and have a problem with interracial relationships?
Q. Why do some people have a problem with interracial relationships? There's this guy that I like and he's white and I'm black, Native American, Puerto Rican, and white, but most people just think I'm black and Puerto Rican. Anyway, were at the mall ...
A. 27 August 2011: I love people who don't let race keep them apart and I can't stand others who think people should only be with their own race. I'm attracted to every ethnicity and if I wanted to be with someone of a different race, then I'd be worrying about their ... (read in full...)
Does this dream mean I could be pregnant?
Q. I dreamt i was with my high school friend that i haven't seen in 7 years. In the dream she told me "wow you're pregnant congrats!" when i woke up i was excited, but now i'm feeling down. Do dreams have any meaning? Am i pregnant? ...
A. 27 August 2011: Dreams usually don't mean anything, so I think you should disregard them. The only way you could be pregnant is if you've had unprotected sex recently. Have you? If so, get a pregnancy test. If not, just disregard it. We all have strange dreams ... (read in full...)
I've lost interest in my boyfriend. Should I break up with him?
Q. hi.... i am in a relationship with a boy since 4 years.. at the starting years of my relationship i was oh so lucky but now i feel bored with him and lost all my interest in him... i went out with him 3 times and everytime we end up getting physical ...
A. 27 August 2011: Break up with him. It'll be wrong for him to stay with someone who's no longer interested in him and why would you stay in a relationship if you're bored with it?... (read in full...)
Can a man grow a backbone? Or should I move on? He believes others over me.
Q. So I had met this guy a few times, and thought he was cute, so I asked my girlfriend about him and she said he was great, that they were just friends and so she gave him my number. So we get together, and right away, I could tell we are really hitt...
A. 27 August 2011: I think you should just move on from this guy. He obviously is too gullible if he's going to let someone fool him out of a great relationship of 8 months. And the fact that he's still with the possesive girl when he knows that you were innocent ... (read in full...)
Can having lots of casual sex affect people psychologically?
Q. Hi, I read recently in an article written by a prominent psychologist that lots of casual sex or sex with people you do not love can cause a person to "split off" from him- or herself, losing touch with his or her emotions. The person then becomes ...
A. 24 August 2011: I do think this happens to some ppl who engage in casual sex. If they decide to have casual sex, then they shouldn't have feelings or grow closer to the persons they have sex with since it will be multiple people. And I think the person knows to ... (read in full...)
Does he like me to have gone this far? He lost his virginity to me!
Q. Hello everyone. I have a best friend name Harry we work together at the beginning I use to think he was so weird. I work in the copy center and hes an office supply associate. One day we started talking since that day we became best buds. He would ...
A. 23 August 2011: Then it's better to stay friends if he won't give you the chance to discuss what happened.... (read in full...)
Does he like me to have gone this far? He lost his virginity to me!
Q. Hello everyone. I have a best friend name Harry we work together at the beginning I use to think he was so weird. I work in the copy center and hes an office supply associate. One day we started talking since that day we became best buds. He would ...
A. 22 August 2011: I think this 'best friend' used you. He kissed you and didn't talk about it, he went further with you and didn't talk about it, and he finally had sex with you with no effect on him at all. Best friends would talk as much as possible and be totally ... (read in full...)
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