A
female
age
36-40,
*iss williamz
writes:Dear cupid, I need your help.I have been dating my boyfriend for 1year now. its a long distance relationship. Of late my boyfriend does call me as usual and all but lately I feel like he's kinda changed he is too busy for me, he doesn't give me attention, in short I don't feel the spark I used to feel. I have cheated on him three times now. I slept with the first guy few days to our anniversary that was in early november. But I didnt feel guilty at all afterwards. The second time n the next it happend I didnt feel guilty for cheating. I don't understand myself. I don't know if I love him. Am just with him. I know its not right to do this for him. Please help me people understand why am acting this way? I want to understand what is happening to our relationship? Please help.. Am desperate.
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anniversary, long distance, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 November 2011):
 My bet is that your cheating because you want him to find out blow up and then forgive you and be all jealous...puts that spark back in it.
The problem is that after a years time the spark goes away and what's left is a hot burning ember... it glows but it's not flashy... lots of folks mistake this for falling out of love....
it's hard in relationships that are local and harder in LDRs...
I think if you care at all about this LDR guy, you need to end it with him.... it's the only thing that's fair to him.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 November 2011):
I beg of you, please end it before he finds out and you destroy him.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (27 November 2011):
 It's best to end the relationship. You're not as happy as you can be and this relationship is obviously not fulfilling your needs. So end it so you both can be happy and if you don't feel like you can handle another LDR, then don't get into one.
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (27 November 2011):
 Hello,
It's time to end this now. You need the closeness of a relationship and this ~LDR can't give you it. Also, it seems he is getting tired of things as well. Time to end things now I'm afraid.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (27 November 2011):
 You aren't alone, many people cannot handle being in a long distance relationship. They are very difficult to maintain. Skype, emails, phone calls are all very nice but they aren't the same thing as having someone to hug or kiss or hold. You missed the closeness that your boyfriend can't offer to you right now. It would be best for both of you if you let him go and sought out the company of someone who can give you what you need. This relationship isn't working out for either of you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2011): The answer is clear. It is time to end the relationship.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (27 November 2011):
 You are craving closeness, this is the one thing your boyfriend can't give you as you are in a LDR. You look for this closeness elsewhere. After the first time you cheated, you longed for that closeness again, so cheated further.
You know what's coming next... this relationship can't continue, put this boy out of his misery and find someone else to give you that closeness you still crave.
All the best, do the right thing :)
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A
female
reader, auntyR +, writes (27 November 2011):
Sounds to me like it may be time to call an end to your LDR. It obviously is not working for you as you have cheated on your bf a couple of times. LDR's are very hard and sometimes you just have to except that it;s not working. Why put yourself through the heartache when you could be happy being single or with someone who you can see all the time. I know exactly how you are feeling as i have been there myself in the past.
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