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*SAddict agony aunt

*SAddict

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*SAddict's profile:

I'm 18, live in SC. I have depression and that holds me back sometimes. I love this site and love to give advice though I rarely follow my own. I hope my advice helps someone and if it does, I'm happy. If not, at least I can say I tried. If you ever want to talk send me a message. I'm always here :).

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My girlfriends feelings for another guy

Q.   my high school girlfriend and i have a very open relationship, we tell each other pretty much everything...but a few days ago i was going to her phone messages to send myself something and i saw messages from her ex boyfriend who broke her heart and ...

A.   4 August 2011: Well when you snoop you always find something you never wanted to. Since you found the msgs, it's just better to go ahead and tell her. Be honest, tell her how you found them, how you feel about them, and ask her how she feels about this guy. Then ... (read in full...)

Should he have asked me first before going and making these plans?

Q.   My husband just informed me he asked two of his single guy friends to go on a roadtrip to see a baseball game. He didn't ask me before he asked them and I know these guys are single and always looking for women. should he have asked me first before ...

A.   4 August 2011: Maybe it was a spur of the moment and he wasn't thinking about what you would say. But he deserves to spend time with his friends and he shouldn't have to ask for permission. You guys are married so you should give him that trust. Just because he's ... (read in full...)

Is it an out of body experience?

Q.   is it true that the big jumpy feeling you get when you're asleep, like you're falling, is reallly your body trying to keep your soul from leaving your body? like an out of body experience? ...

A.   4 August 2011: I get that feeling too sometimes. I don't think it's an out of body feeling. Maybe because sometimes I have the dream that I'm falling with my back facing the ground and I literally can't feel anything under or around me. It lasts for a couple of ... (read in full...)

Husband of 23 yrs wants a divorce and not sure if he ever was in love

Q.   i have been dating my husband since i was 16 and married for 23 feels like we have been together for a lifetime. I have always had problems telling ppl i love them but try to do it in other ways by buying things. i have also said some very hurtful ...

A.   4 August 2011: Tell your husband how you feel and ask him to give you another chance. Even though he's not sure that he loves you, you both know each other better than anyone else and he shouldn't give up without trying to make things better. So tell him your ... (read in full...)

I saw my cousins kissing? should I tell?

Q.   I saw my cousins kissing! I always thought that they act slightly flirty toward one another. At our family reunion I saw them sneak off. Thinking they were going to get the large amount of food my grandmother instructed them to get from the garage ...

A.   4 August 2011: Even though you saw it, it's no one's business but theirs. They're old enough to know the situation, they do and they see nothing wrong. Even though this is something your family would be against, it's not for them to know unless your cousins want ... (read in full...)

A life without sex?

Q.   I'm 35 years old and I have been married for 8 years. My wife says she only wants to be friends and nothing more. We haven't had sex in a year. I love my wife and I dont want to leave her but its very hard to live without sex. I workout 3 days a ...

A.   4 August 2011: I see no reason why you shouldn't look elsewhere. But first, you should get a divorce. If you're going to be with other women, then make sure you're fully available to them. Friends or not, you two are still legally married and women will be turned ... (read in full...)

Is my teacher ignoring my emails or does she have good reason to?

Q.   Basically when we broke up for summer, i was really really unsettled and upset about leaving school for 7 weeks. I hate it at home but i love school where im around loving people who care about my emotions. I have my teacher, who i open up to and ...

A.   4 August 2011: She may not want to log on for a while since it's the summer, or she may have forgotten that she said you could contact her. Even though she's your teacher and an influential person, you shouldn't be this stressed over her. She's an adult and has ... (read in full...)

How do I stop my mother from sabotaging every relationship I'm in?

Q.   I have been dating my current boyfriend for about 2 months now. I have met his family and friends.He hasn't met mine due to scheduling and distance issue but, that will be changing soon. I see him about once or twice a week because we live an hour ...

A.   4 August 2011: You're just going to have to tell your mother to deal with the fact that you have a life and other people in it. Even though you still live at home, that doesn't give her the right to tell you who you can and can't date. You're an adult, and even ... (read in full...)

Any good questions to ask a guy you are just getting to know?

Q.   Hi dear cupid agony aunt/ uncles I could really use your help. I,ve recently started talking to a guy i really like but I,m very shy and I don't know what to talk about. later on this evening He and I are going spinning in his car but I don't know...

A.   3 August 2011: What his interests and hobbies are, how many siblings he has, does he like animals, what's his favorite animal, what's his favorite food, etc. Hope that helps a little if not much.... (read in full...)

Lonely in love.....

Q.   hi all. ive been with my partner for 14 years on and off and we have 2 children together. i love him to bits and i can't imagine life without him but my biggest fear just lately is that he doesnt love me. we very rarely have sex as hes not ...

A.   3 August 2011: I think you two should end the relationship. He cheated on you and you two hardly ever talk. What kind of relationship is that? It seems like he's stopped putting effort into the relationship. And if he's not willing to try, then it won't work. ... (read in full...)

The girl he likes on this competition show has a strong resemblance to his ex wife, should I leave him over this?

Q.   Me and my bf watch this competition show. we usually pick our favorites. i noticed that the girl he picked has a strong recemblance to his ex wife. when they dont show her enough on the show he starts complaining that they dont show "his girl" ...

A.   3 August 2011: The girl can't help that she looks the way she looks. And he probably likes her because she does resemble someone he really cared about. I wouldn't worry about it. It's just television, they don't know each other in real life, and there's nothing ... (read in full...)

I love my colleague but he is married! What can I do?

Q.   I made love to my workmate but now i feel so down and bad, he is married but wherever his wife comes to work i feel so bad. I feel so embarrassed and i want to quit the job and stop looking at him for a life time. What amazes me is that he does not ...

A.   3 August 2011: Stop seeing the guy. You knew he was married so don't expect to not feel guilty about your decision to sleep with him. If he really makes you that uncomfortable now, then try to find another job and don't quit that job until you've found another. ... (read in full...)

Parents found the naughty texts I sent to my boyfriend. Help!

Q.   I've just asked a recent question about this same problem but things are seeming to get a little out of hand. So... i recently sent some naughty texts to my boyfriend, my mum checked my phone because she said she knew something was going on, she ...

A.   3 August 2011: I think you did the right thing by not being with your bf temporarily so your parents won't worry as much. Do you have any privacy at all when it comes to your phone? You're basically an adult and they don't have the right to do that, even if they ... (read in full...)

Why doesn't my friend get out of her abusive relationship?

Q.   I have a friend and she is in this on again off again with her abusive boyfriend. this wouldn't be an issue if this wasn't going on 10 times in a row. her boyfriend would hit her, smack her, say that they are breaking up just make her cry, call her ...

A.   3 August 2011: Honestly, there's nothing you can do. She has to want to help herself, but she doesn't because she keeps going back. This isn't love and she needs to see that but she can't if she's not willing. The only thing you can really do is stand by her when ... (read in full...)

Scared my Boyfriend's Ex will take him away from me

Q.   Ive been going out with my boyfriend for a few months now and I know we both love each other but i have started worrying about our relationship because I found out that he is till good friends with his Ex girlfriend and that he even works at the ...

A.   3 August 2011: If you trust him, then you know that he won't let anything happen between them. But it seems that you don't trust him as much as you say you do. He says he loves you and he wants you, so you need to believe him. Start trusting him more and believe ... (read in full...)

My friends think its weird that b/f and I sleep in separate beds

Q.   I currently live with my bf and yesterday, he gave me a very advanced bday gift of which he took pictures of me with it and excitedly convinced me to post on facebook. Now the story is this, my friends reacted when they saw the pictures and sai...

A.   3 August 2011: I think that if both you and your boyfriend feel comfortable with your sleeping arrangements, then you should stick with them and not care what other people think. They may think it's weird, but so what? It suits you guys and that's the only thing ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has a 19 year old pregnant girl on his hands. What next for our relationship?

Q.   So, things are bad and I find myself wishing I hadn't started this mess. I am crazy in love. I have been with this man for 9 months now and I spend almost everyday with him. Needless to say, I'm attached. He is also in love with me. Problem is m...

A.   2 August 2011: The best thing for him to do for you and the unborn child is to leave. He didn't have enough respect for you to not cheat. So don't desire to be with someone like that. He needs to get himself straightened out and ready for the unborn child. So it's ... (read in full...)

Married man, watching gay porn and wanting to try sex with a man

Q.   Male married for 26 years. The last 5 or so years, I have started looking at gay porn. I love to see two or more men together and want to try it myself. I bought myself a large dildo and love to use it on myself. I have never cheated on my wife but ...

A.   2 August 2011: Since your wife's not really interested in sex, it's most likely that she wouldn't experiment with another person in the bedroom. Do you know if she would maybe consider letting you experiment once with a guy? You need to tell her how you feel and ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has cheated on me. How can I get through this?

Q.   My boyfriend cheated on me. We've been together 10 months and the girl told me. She didn't know he had a girlfriend. I love my boyfriend soooo much. I truly thought he was one of the few people I could really trust. He was sweet and nice to me ...

A.   2 August 2011: Well when you say you don't want to be with him, you've still said it, whether you were fighting or not. I'm not defending him, but you both should've been able to communicate better. We all feel that way at least once where we feel nothing will ... (read in full...)

He doesn't want to spend time with me.....

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 3 years now and we've been living together for pretty much the whole time. Recently we started arguing a lot (before we'd obviously argue but we'd work it out straight away because it was over ...

A.   2 August 2011: He has a right to spend time with his friends but that doesn't mean he shouldn't include you. Talk to your boyfriend one more time and tell him how you feel and let him know that you're serious. He needs to realize that you need him and that you ... (read in full...)

He promised not to move away but I have seen a link to a website for a job in Australia! I don't want a LDR, so what should I do?

Q.   I have been with my bf for over a year now. he is at uni studying engineering and doesnt know where he wants to work when he graduates, but he knows that he doesnt want to stay in the uk all his life. When he graduates next year, I will still ha...

A.   2 August 2011: First, stop panicking. It was just a link and you have no idea what he's thinking in his head. If he's thinking about leaving, then he will tell you and you can go from there. But until he mentions anything about it, stop panicking and enjoy the ... (read in full...)

I need him to own up to the abuse....

Q.   I have been abused by my husband a couple of times. The last incident I ended up in the hospital,I never told anyone the he did it. I kept him out of jail. After a year of the incident I finally told his boss and his family what happen because I ...

A.   2 August 2011: You need to leave this guy. You're his wife and he doesn't even have enough respect for you to keep his hands off of you. Why are you still with this guy? No matter how much you love him, he won't love you enough to stop abusing you. If he won't get ... (read in full...)

Is this normal? I think I'm bordering on Asexual

Q.   Okay, I'm confused. So, I'm a seventeen year old male. I know I'm biromantic - I'm fine with being in a relationship with either a man or a woman, I do prefer men, but it's close; 40/60% I have no trouble with my sex drive, I masturbate only ...

A.   1 August 2011: You're not asexual because you are attracted to him. But there's nothing wrong with you. You just have certain preferences that need to be met, so tell him and you can work on that together.... (read in full...)

I think my boyfriend is cheating. Should I keep chasing him or just wait until he is ready to face me?

Q.   My ex bf didn't try to explain to me why he just took off but I found out from friends that he said he was scared to face me.... He even told them that those rumors about him cheating isn't true at all and it's all in my imagination... Well how ...

A.   1 August 2011: First of all, he's your ex. If he doesn't want anything to do with you, then you should leave him alone. He's your ex and there's a reason why he's your ex. You shouldn't want anything to do with him. Whatever he did shouldn't matter now because you ... (read in full...)

Unhappy in my marriage. Should I leave for a 70yr old man or is he too old?

Q.   Should I stay or go? I'm soon really soon to be 50. August 12th. I've been married to a man a was very much in love with for 8 years. He has always looked at porn said that what he does when I'm not home is none of my business. He stopped touching ...

A.   1 August 2011: If you're this unhappy in your marriage, then why have you taken so long to say so? Your husband deserves to know how you feel. Are you sure you really care about this other man or is he giving you things that your husband isn't? Whatever the ... (read in full...)

Why is my boyfriends friend treating me this way? how do I deal with it?

Q.   So i have a boyfriend who i havn't been with for long. The other week i met one of his friends who i will call 'M' he seemed realy nice at first. Then i went on holiday for a week with my family and one of my friends. When we came back my boyfrien...

A.   1 August 2011: Just ignore it. You're in the relationship and he's not, so he has no right to say anything. So just block him from your page and have as little contact as possible with him.... (read in full...)

Half of me still wants him, but the other half tells me to let him go

Q.   i broke up with my bf now because i caught him chatting with a girl and this is the 3rd time.. well our relationship in the past few years is shaky but we're trying to deal with it and he doesn't trust me at all but that's fine with me as long as i ...

A.   1 August 2011: If he's done this to you 3 times then why stay with him? He's not going to change or respect you and you won't stop getting hurt by him, so leave him. He's not worth your time and there are better men out there for you.... (read in full...)

Should I be his girlfriend or not?

Q.   I'm 14 years old. We had a party in my house for my B'day. My dad's friend and his 16 years old son will (his mom is American and father is Sri lankan)also came to my house will gave me a present and told me " I want to tell you something " so I ...

A.   1 August 2011: Be honest with him. Tell him you don't want to be involved with anyone at your age. I'm sure he'll understand and if he doesn't, then he isn't worth your time. If you're reconsidering being with him, then get to know him first, let him get to know ... (read in full...)

Baby dreams at the age of 16?

Q.   Hey I'm 15 and i really want a baby I'm an honour student and I'm responsible.I have thought about this so many times before, about how am i going to work with school. My friends say that I would make a great mother because I'm caring and sweet ...

A.   1 August 2011: Please rethink this. Don't get pregnant. You aren't ready and you don't even know what it takes to raise a kid. Once you have that kid, he/she will be attached to you FOREVER. You won't have time to hang out with your friends, your time will revolve ... (read in full...)

Am I unreasonable for not wanting to move in with him right now?

Q.   I would like some perspectives on whether I am being unreasonable in wanting to wait before moving in with my bf and wanting to continue to enjoy things as they are, please. We've been together 10 months, and for the last 3 months, he's men...

A.   1 August 2011: You have the right to feel the way you do. You aren't ready and your boyfriend shouldn't be pressuring you. It hasn't even been a year and I think couples should wait at least a year before even thinking about stuff like this. Don't let your ... (read in full...)

When life's a female dog...

Q.   ... haha sorry about the title. Lame i know :). I also know that this may sound dramatic, emo, cliche, cheesy, etc etc etc... BUT I had a momentary moment of absolute peace when i thought of this... When you're in a situation that just t...

A.   1 August 2011: Awesome article :)... (read in full...)

Should I forgive him or finish everything?

Q.   i am in relation from last 4 yrs. We both love each other, but my partner is very hot tempered. I never wanted to hide anything frm him, he is my first and last love. i have many male friends, yesterday i told him about my phone chat with one of my ...

A.   1 August 2011: If he can't accept that you have a lot of guy friends, then you shouldn't be with them. He doesn't have to like them, but he should accept them. I don't see how you become characterless from having a phone conversation, but that's just me. Find ... (read in full...)

Will my ex contact me again despite the restraining order?

Q.   I have a serious matter my ex boyfriend used to abuse me mentally physically verbally and emotionally ,,I put restraint order on him and yet he violated it after few weeks then now he contacts me every time and promise he will change and he never ...

A.   1 August 2011: He shouldn't even be talking to you since you have the restraining order. I thought restraining orders kept you from calling that person, but I might be wrong. The bottom line is that you need to stay away from this guy and make sure he stays away ... (read in full...)

Birth control questions......

Q.   how do you get birth control? do you need a prescription?...

A.   1 August 2011: Go to your gynecologist and they can write you a prescription for it. But that's the only way you can get it. They'll write out a certain amount of times you can get it refilled but after they run out, you have to go back to the doctor and request ... (read in full...)

My partner treats me like a slave

Q.   Help! I'm so fed up of it- My boyfriend treats me like some sort of slave! I do work part time and because he works full time its like no amount of work I do is ever good enough. I take care of the home and literally everything to do with it, our ...

A.   1 August 2011: Tell him how you feel and then stand by your words. Don't clean after him, let him do it himself. Take care of only your messes and let him clean his. Just because he works a lot doesn't mean he can't handle responsibility at home. Don't let him ... (read in full...)

Why cant I get the girl I want?

Q.   Why can't I get the girl I've been talking to for a while? I know I'm 13 but at the moment it feels like I'm not doing anything right in my social life, I feel like I'm a screw up. Lately I really liked this girl and I don't think she likes me I'm ...

A.   1 August 2011: Maybe she takes you as being really friendly and doesn't know what you really want. Or maybe she doesn't like you. But the only way you're going to know is if you tell her how you feel and ask her how she feels about you. Be honest with her. And if ... (read in full...)

I'm still a virgin.....should I keep on waiting for Mr Perfect or get it over with the first guy who comes along?

Q.   I'm still a virgin... I'm not going to write my age but in this age nobody even expects a girl to be a virgin. It's not like I didn't have the chance (In fact, a few months ago I had the perfect chance but I chickened out, not because I'm afra...

A.   1 August 2011: You will never find a guy who's fully 100% your type. But you will find someone close to that. Don't let anyone take you for a one night stand unless losing your virginity is something you feel you must do before you get into a relationship. There's ... (read in full...)

His mother doesn't approve of me and I can't wait forever!

Q.   Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years. I want to get married. He is egyptian muslim and i am white muslim. His mother is racist and hates british girls (muslim or not). He is very close to her as his father died at a young age and she ...

A.   1 August 2011: Your bf's mother's hatred for british ppl seems very deep and isn't likely to change. It's sad that people let race interfere with love. You need to find someone else to be with, unless you can handle being told over and over again that he'll get ... (read in full...)

Everybody hates my hair!

Q.   I'm not really sure if this a a newsworthy question but I could use some advise. I'm, black, 21 and in college (living at home) and I live in Jamaica and I'm currently growing my hair but for some reason everybody wants me to cut it. In Jamaic...

A.   1 August 2011: Honestly, you shouldn't give a crap about what people think about your hair. You are you and only you can decide what looks good to you and what doesn't. So stop worrying about what others think and look the way you want. You're an adult now, so ... (read in full...)

What's wrong with me? Am I weird for this?

Q.   What is wrong with me? am I weird? is it normal? My ex boyfriend and I broke up 6months and I've not been with anyone else since. I had a lot of guys come my way but they all wanted sex, but I can't have casual sex, I've got to be in lo...

A.   1 August 2011: You are not weird. They're many people who feel and have experienced the same thing you are. It's great that you don't let guys take you for a one night stand. Keep doing what you're doing and the right guy will find nothing wrong with the way you ... (read in full...)

Cheated on husband with his brother, he left but now is back and we had sex again!

Q.   okay 3 years ago my brother in law came to live with my husband and I, well 5 months into him living with us, my bil and I starting having feeling (which we addressed) and then a sexual relationship. my husband at the time was in jail for fdomestic ...

A.   1 August 2011: You just have to let time take its course and eventually you won't be thinking about him at all. Get yourself in some hobbies or activities you like to keep your mind off him. If that doesn't help you, then just remember why he's no good for you in ... (read in full...)

Cheated on husband with his brother, he left but now is back and we had sex again!

Q.   okay 3 years ago my brother in law came to live with my husband and I, well 5 months into him living with us, my bil and I starting having feeling (which we addressed) and then a sexual relationship. my husband at the time was in jail for fdomestic ...

A.   31 July 2011: You know what you should do. End the affair with your brother in law. He's not a person worth being with if he's going to do this to you and his brother. He doesn't care about you or have enough respect for you to walk away. So you walk away instead ... (read in full...)

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