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... Send *SAddict a private message | | | *SAddict's profile:I'm 18, live in SC. I have depression and that holds me back sometimes. I love this site and love to give advice though I rarely follow my own. I hope my advice helps someone and if it does, I'm happy. If not, at least I can say I tried. If you ever want to talk send me a message. I'm always here :). |
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My new husband is making me feel paranoid that I'm a slag because of my past! Is it really abnormal for women to be able to have guilt free casual relationships while young, purely for the sex and without any emotional connection
Q. Dear aunts and uncles, especially aunts, I am a divorcee who has recently remarried, and my new husband has a major problem with my past. We have an amazing relationship and he's the only one I've ever given my heart to, but not my body, and tha...
A. 19 February 2012: I don't think it's abnormal for women to have sex without emotional connection. There are plenty of women who do and there will still be women who do in the future. We have needs and we shouldn't deny ourselves the right to fulfill them just because ... (read in full...)
I've split from my G/f but she's going to have our baby in 6 months time. Am I entitled to be at the birth of our baby?
Q. I have just split up with girlfriend and she is having our baby in approximately 6 months time. Please may I ask for anyone's kind advice in regards to if i I am definately entitled to be at the birth of my baby? I would very much apppreciate an...
A. 19 February 2012: I do think you're entitled to be there for the birth of your child. Whether you're together or not, you still should have the right to be in the room when it happens. My brother was in the room when his son was born and he was her ex also.... (read in full...)
Does anyone deserve a second chance?
Q. when someone has cheated, should you give them a second chance?...
A. 18 February 2012: I don't think any cheater deserves a second chance. No matter what the circumstances, cheating is wrong. If that person isn't happy in the relationship, then they need to get out or at least warn their partner that their interest has waned and give ... (read in full...)
Is my husband gay or bisexual?
Q. Ok here goes... I'm 18, and my husband is 19. we've been married for 8 months. we have a daughter, who is 2 years and 2 months and i'm 11 weeks pregnant with our second child. Basically, i know in my heart that my husband is gay. He claim...
A. 17 February 2012: He sounds bisexual, but either way that's not really the issue. He's still cheating on you, whether it's men or women, he's not being faithful, or safe. He may be a great family man and husband when he's not cheating, but he's still disrespecting ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my g/f about my fetish
Q. Hi there. I'm a 30 year old male and have been going out with my g/f for nearly 4 year's now, we both love each other dearly, we are having our 1st child soon and I think she could be the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. The problem ...
A. 17 February 2012: Tell her. There's nothing wrong with it and we all have our sexual preferences. Telling her this will bring you closer together and she might be willing to help fulfill your fetish with you. If she opposes it, then the best thing would be just to ... (read in full...)
If I tell my friend I have feelings for him, will it ruin our friendship?
Q. Hello! :) I have a little problem. I really like this boy and I don't know if I should tell him. He's one of my friends and I don't want to ruin our friendship. Yesterday, I was texting him and I asked him who he liked and he said he doesn't know ...
A. 16 February 2012: I think you should tell him, but after you're sure that he's over his ex, so that if he does like you, his feelings are only for you. I was in love with my best friend for 2 years, and one night I couldn't keep it, so I told him. I'm so glad I did ... (read in full...)
Why are you on DearCupid?
Q. Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...
A. 16 February 2012: I came here for help, but I decided to stay. I like to help others also, and I like to see the interesting questions that pop up everyday. And I feel like I've did something good when I know that my answer may have given them the advice they've ... (read in full...)
Should husband and I share money with my family or keep it for our soon to be baby?
Q. Dear cupid Alot of people say pregancy confuses the mind and makes women think irrationally i like to think that in this particullary situation i'm not thinking irrationally nor am i being selfish . but i'd rather hear it from other peoples ...
A. 16 February 2012: Do what's best for your child. Save your money and don't lend it to anybody else. Your parents are wrong for trying to make you feel guilty. You learned your lesson about lending money and shouldn't have to go back on your promise just because ... (read in full...)
My Fianceé is still in love with his ex Should I break up ?
Q. recently i have been really chocked about something here it goes my fiancée was with his ex girl friend these days and littarly he begged her to come back to him he lied to me that he did love me he lied to me about everything then he tells me that ...
A. 12 February 2012: If he's in love with anyone else besides you, then he shouldn't be with you. It's not fair for you to be with him and his feelings are not limited to you. Break up with him for good because you shouldn't be feeling insecure within your relationship.... (read in full...)
He has been sexting another girl and he also flirts on Facebook. Is there hope for this relationship?
Q. Dear Everyone, i have been in a relationship for 9 months with my boyfriend and it has being pretty serious and we have through a lot of struggles like for example i come from a strict family and it took about 7 months to finally accept and respecte...
A. 10 February 2012: I think you should break up with him. Even though you've both made your mistakes, you apologized for your sexting and didn't do it again. He did it and apologized, but yet he's still doing it. You have a right to be happy and you have a right to ... (read in full...)
He was flirting with me but now says I'm not his type
Q. I have this problem with a coworker of mine that I ended up really liking his name is Bryan… We have known each other since October 2010. He had asked me what his chances were for taking me out to dinner was and I had told him that his chances...
A. 29 January 2012: If he flirts with other girls, then maybe he was getting your hopes up. It seems like he likes the chase but doesn't want to start anything. You should definitely move on. He can't be trusted if he's flirting with everyone and it was crappy for him ... (read in full...)
Why do teenagers get more criticism, when they become pregnant?
Q. ok im 18 now and before i tell u my story i have a question.. why is it that when somebody young ends up pregnant they are judged and discouraged. sometimes even pretty much told to have an abortion..when we can be just as good as parents as some 30 ...
A. 21 January 2012: Even though I'm a teen, I'll reply. I believe teens get more criticism because it's something that shouldn't be happening, especially when they're under 18. What teenager can be a truly good parent when they're still kids themselves and haven't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has developed a crush on his friend, should I breakup with him or give him time?
Q. My 19 year old (gay) boyfriend of 8 months is everything I could ask for; charming, sweet, kind, lovable. He has been nothing but devoted to me, plus we mean the world to each other. But today he confronted me with his beginning infatuation and ...
A. 21 January 2012: If he's not sure that he wants only you, then you should break up. You may be a good couple, but you shouldn't have to wonder if he still wants you. And he shouldn't be crushing or interested in someone he's only known for a week, especially while ... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for ignoring her?
Q. I have a friend who I've been close to for ages. Me and her get on really well, she's fun to talk to and I trust her. Anyway, someone asked me if I liked her and I got worried incase the person told everyone. I've been avoiding her and I tend to ...
A. 15 January 2012: You shouldn't ignore your friend just because someone asked you this. Just take it as another part of your day and move on. This is no reason to ignore your friend and the more you ignore her, the more she'll be upset with you. And who cares what ... (read in full...)
Fair enough she needs time to "heal" from learning I'm gay, but how long does it take?
Q. Its been about 2 and a half years since my mum has asked me if I was gay. She still don't treat me the same as she did before which doesn't help. Seriously how long does she need! She has always had gay friends she's loved her brother who is g...
A. 15 January 2012: She has no right to treat you this way. If she can accept her brother and her friends, then she should have no problem accepting you. You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells with her now that she knows who you really are. Her attitude shouldn't have ... (read in full...)
I've moved on , he hasnt... what should I do?
Q. Basically my boyfriend and i have been together for several years on and off. He left for New Zealand in october and i was just starting my first year at university. I'm 18 hes 22, and he has been away for 4 months and he is back in 2 months. We ...
A. 8 January 2012: Tell your boyfriend to stop texting you and give you some space. You can't make any decisions about staying together with you feeling like he's suffocating you. You have feelings for him, but you obviously have a desire to live your life and have ... (read in full...)
I nearly told him how I felt, but there's one huge catch.
Q. Hi everyone. There's this guy who I've liked on and off for the past two months or so. He recently broke up with his gf of a month. Since they broke up, he's been texting me and talking to me way more. He's initiated all but one of these convos. We ...
A. 8 January 2012: There's nothing wrong with liking him since you can't help how you feel. But don't tell him how you feel just yet. Give him some time to actually get over her because 4 days is nothing. Even though she told you it was okay, bring it up with her once ... (read in full...)
I love him. Want to be with him. But how do I stop him from getting so mad at so much I do?
Q. Dear cupid, My and my boyfriend have been togther for one year... And hes my life and i love him very much. But there has beeb such a big problem for a long time, he gets mad at almost everything i do, wearing the wrong cloths, even having lint...
A. 6 January 2012: Tell him that he has to accept you for who and what you are, your likes/dislikes and everything. He has no reason to get mad at you for the things you mentioned and you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells while with him. Tell him he needs to stop ... (read in full...)
Drunken encounter and now he won't respond!
Q. I went to a New Year's party and was reintroduced to this guy *Justin, 15*. He went to my school for only a couple months in 4th grade, and now we're both in 9th, with us never speaking, then his mom died so he moved and I hadn't seen him since. ...
A. 2 January 2012: This guy isn't worth your time. Don't text him again and stop all contact. The fact that he only was interested while drunk showed his real intentions. It's good that you didn't kiss him because he didn't deserve it and he should've had more respect ... (read in full...)
My family calls me Dog
Q. Dear Aunts I started gaining weight past few weeks. I wanted to lose the weight as fast as possible because people were beggining to call me names. So i told my friend, and she told me that the fast way to lose the weight is to drink cola everyday...
A. 31 December 2011: Tell your cousins that they need to grow up. It's your soda and you're not required to share with anyone. Tell them to get over themselves and if they can't, then you won't be talking to them because this is so immature. Family isn't suppose to put ... (read in full...)
My cousin kissed me. Now what?
Q. I was in my cousins garage and it was just the two of us she asked me if i wanted to dance or pingpong and i chose dance then she decided to kiss me on the neck what should i do...
A. 31 December 2011: Tell her that you thought what she did was inappropriate and that it shouldn't happen again. She's your cousin, so she crossed the line. Just tell her you didn't like that and ask her to respect the boundaries you have as family. Hopefully she will ... (read in full...)
We love each other but he's married. Do I wait or walk away/
Q. i am a lady of about 25 years old. I am going out with this guy who had a court weding with an old white woman. We both love each other and anytime i want us to end this relationship because of the white woman he pleads with me to give him time to ...
A. 29 December 2011: You need to walk away. I know you love him, but he is married. Whether he loves her or not, he made a commitment to prove and give her the love she needs. If he didn't love her, then he never should've married her. If he didn't love her, then he put ... (read in full...)
Be gay, if it's who you are...
Q. Something that continues to grate on my nerves is the hatred I see directed at gays. People, in general, tend to support individualism...encourage to be yourselves. But, unfortunately, they often have a limit to that support. When it comes to ...
A. 29 December 2011: I love this article. I totally agree and well done.... (read in full...)
I'm worried I'm in love with a guy I grew up with. What will I do about my boyfriend, who I don't love now?
Q. I grew up on a rough estate, and I hung around with the bad boys. That was 7 years ago, and since then i met a lad through college and we got together in 2009. He cheated and lied constantly, i forgave him, Though I don't know why I did forgive him,...
A. 24 December 2011: If you don't love your boyfriend anymore, then you shouldn't stay with him. He cheated on you, so you deserve better. Just because he cheated gives him no reason to think that you will do the same. Break up with your boyfriend and if you really want ... (read in full...)
Is my verbally abusive Bf cheating? Should I leave him? How do I stand up for myself better?
Q. my boyfriend and I recently had twins a boy and girl and I feel my boy friend doesnt love me no more ! I DO everything for him I cook, clean, give him sex when he wants it , i take care of the twins i told him 'if you want to help me with the twin...
A. 24 December 2011: Just because you love him doesn't mean you should give him everything he wants. Are you always in the mood when he is or do you do it to keep him satisfied? And you shouldn't have given him the option of taking care of his kids or doing his own ... (read in full...)
Do I continue to try with the 19 year old reluctant girl? Or try with this amazing girl I just met?
Q. I met this girl, we dated for a month and it was all going so slow it annoyed me. She didn't let me kiss her until after a couple of dates and it was not even a kiss it was a peck. When I tried giving her a real kiss she got so tense I stopped. An...
A. 24 December 2011: If you don't feel like you can deal with the pace that she's (19 yr old) taking with this relationship, then you should find someone else. You could try and make it work, but you're already annoyed and you're just going to get more impatient. Think ... (read in full...)
Should I meet some one I don't want to meet just to please my boyfriend?
Q. I dont really know how do put this but here goes. my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and we have a pretty solid relaionship we get on so well and we always have a laugh and joke. but recently (as in the last week) I have bee...
A. 24 December 2011: Put on a happy face and just meet the girl. You're not being forced to be her other best friend. Just talk for a few mins and get comfortable, and if you can't, then at least you did something for your boyfriend that meant a lot to him. I'm sorry if ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend after 5 years says she doesn't know if she wants to be with me. Is it time to move on?
Q. After almost 5 years my girlfriend says she still doesnt know if she wants to be with me! Personally i dont think she does want to be with me but is too scared to say it, and ive thought this for past 3 years. She also says she needs me in her life, ...
A. 22 December 2011: If she doesn't know whether she wants to be with you after five years, then it's time to move on. She's not putting in any effort and she never tells you she wants you, which is something you should hear often. Move on and find someone who wants ... (read in full...)
Now that she's angry, should I continue following her father's advice?
Q. So my ex, who lives with me, broke up with me 2 months ago. She claimed almost a week ago she was confused and didnt know what to do, she told me she missed me and she didnt want to hurt me, she cried a little. The day after she told me the same...
A. 21 December 2011: Well as long as you're comfortable with the arrangements. But she doesn't deserve to live with you if she's not going to give you the respect you deserve, which includes being honest and straightforward.... (read in full...)
Now that she's angry, should I continue following her father's advice?
Q. So my ex, who lives with me, broke up with me 2 months ago. She claimed almost a week ago she was confused and didnt know what to do, she told me she missed me and she didnt want to hurt me, she cried a little. The day after she told me the same...
A. 21 December 2011: Leave the relationship where it ended and stop trying to figure her out. She's playing games and she lied to you and her father. She knows what she's doing and thinks you don't. Keep trying to deal with her and all you're going to do is get hurt. ... (read in full...)
Does your families opinion have bearing on the race of those you date?
Q. Would you ever not date a particular ethnicity because of your families opinion?...
A. 21 December 2011: No, they don't affect the race of people I would choose to date. It's my business, not theirs. If they disapproved, I wouldn't care cause it's not their right to tell me who's right and wrong for me based on race. If I decided not to date a certain ... (read in full...)
Things that you love about yourself and dislike about yourself
Q. Basically i find these days that people either are extreamly hypocritcal where they think everyone has something wrong with them except them, or people have very low self esteem (including myself). I have learnt in the last year tha...
A. 21 December 2011: There's more flaws than strengths with me, but I want to try this.
Flaws:
1)easily irritated, angered, impatient.
2) unable to connect with my parents and other family(my own problem)
3)such a procrastinator
4)hate when people compliment me... (read in full...)
Someone help me figure this boy out, my brain hurts!
Q. Ongoing dumb boyfriend issue. Hi, my ex has been my ex for about a year now. And for that year he's been with another girl. But during that year he would call and tell me that he loved me, or that he missed me, he did it 3 times while he was with...
A. 20 December 2011: Leave this guy alone and make sure he leaves you alone. This guy is messing with your head and that's all he's going to do. He's had several chances to make it work, but he's done nothing. So move on and don't let him play any more games with you.... (read in full...)
My husband accused me of being insecure after he was flirting at his christmas party! Am I insecure?
Q. Recently my husband and I went to his company's annual party. I have met a few people he works with but I do not know anyone well. It is awkward for me because once we get to the party he acts like I do not exist and gets mad if I stay wit...
A. 19 December 2011: You are not insecure. I think he may be hiding something. He gets angry when you're with him at these events, he never introduces you to people, especially women, and he denies that these comments are inappropriate. These are all red flags. I'm not ... (read in full...)
I messed around with my best friend's boyfriend when drunk!
Q. i was with my bestfriends boyfriend and she knew we were together to go the mall and get her christmas present but i got drunk and his friends were with us and i messed with him in the backseat of his car, i cant tell my bestfriend and i dont know ...
A. 19 December 2011: The best thing to do is tell her. She may forgive you or she may not. But to hide it from her and she finds it out from someone else will hurt her even more and do more damage. It won't be easy but best friends don't hide things from each other. So ... (read in full...)
My father does not like the older man I am dating!
Q. I have been seeing this wonderful man for the 10 months, I'm 23 and he's 38, at first I was sceptical about the whole age thing but I couldn't help myself so we'd sneak away and meet each other at the local park or go a drive.. Anywhere as long as ...
A. 17 December 2011: I think the best thing to do is to cease talking about your relationship with your father. He has no right to do this to you. Just because he's your father doesn't give him the right to try to force his old-fashioned ways on you. You're an adult, ... (read in full...)
I asked my boyfriend to have a STI test, he was shocked! Was my timing really that bad?
Q. I have been dating this guy for over a month and we get along extremely well. One thing led to another the night before last and we had really great first time protected sex. The next day we were texting about the experience and I mentioned that we ...
A. 13 December 2011: I think that you just brought up the subject at the wrong time. Other than that, I don't think you did anything wrong. It's totally reasonable to ask for an STI test if you plan to have sex with that person continually, even if it's protected. He ... (read in full...)
He has cut me out of his life but he was the liar!
Q. im sure theres something wrong with me because this keeps playing on my mind and i cant shake it off. i was very good friends with a guy until i discovered he had been lying to me since day 1 -found out through various means and i was very hurt as i ...
A. 8 December 2011: Ignore him and keep him out of your life. This is just another lesson you're learning. Don't loan money and don't be so quick to trust the people who are not your family. You're right, you're not the bad guy. You were taken advantage of. Don't keep ... (read in full...)
Can I have some advice on how not to stress and how to stay motivated to work this hard on my studies?
Q. I'm a teenager in high school and I feel so stressed. I have a lot of homework which keeps me up longer than I want to be and every assignment affects my grades dramatically. It feels like I can never take a break from school sometimes and I hate...
A. 8 December 2011: Thanks for your reply. It helps me a lot and whenever I feel unmotivated or like I should quit, I'll just look back at your answer. I'm a junior and it would've been nice if someone could've told me how school would be much more difficult this year, ... (read in full...)
My Gf got pissed that I dropped some rice in her bowl of soup, that I was angry at her and that I didn't call her, and now we shouldn't see each other till the end of the year! How trivial is that!!
Q. My gf and I are mad at each other. We’ve dated for about 16 months. I’m 27 and she’s 26. We’re each other's first gf/bf. We were eating at a buffet along with her sister. My gf returned to the table with a small bowl of soup and placed it on the...
A. 4 December 2011: She's really not worth your time if she's going to turn into a mess over some rice in her soup. She's 26 and willing to let petty things like this get to her. That's not good and just shows her immaturity. So move on or if that's not an option, then ... (read in full...)
I don't feel the spark for my boyfriend whom I am in a long distance relationship with, and I have cheated on him three times now!
Q. Dear cupid, I need your help. I have been dating my boyfriend for 1year now. its a long distance relationship. Of late my boyfriend does call me as usual and all but lately I feel like he's kinda changed he is too busy for me, he doesn't give me ...
A. 27 November 2011: It's best to end the relationship. You're not as happy as you can be and this relationship is obviously not fulfilling your needs. So end it so you both can be happy and if you don't feel like you can handle another LDR, then don't get into one.... (read in full...)
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