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Friend called my behavior slutty, do I forgive him?

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Question - (13 September 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 14 September 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Me and my best (male) friend have known each other for years, only since recently (around 1-2years) we started getting closer to each other. First it was hands holding and then I ended up in bed with him. I do not feel anything romantically for him.

I am naturally a tease, so I often flirt and pose sexy for him (not necessary in the nude). I teased him like this many times, but yesterday when I told him am just in my underwear cleaning the house and that the neighbors must be getting quite a show he got mad told me I am acting slutty.

I was obviously upset by it, and he started making sincere apologies, however when I said "you could have told me before that you dont like being teased like that" he said "if i told you, you would get upset" showing he does think bad about me.

Do I stay friends with him and forgive him that? Its so stupid to loose your bestfriend like that, but I will always keep in mind that such a bad word about me crossed his lips and that it may happen again.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I think you are right, female reader, thank you so much for your answer. It makes sense.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you VSAddict for your sensible answer. I will probably let it cool off and not talk to him for a while and then see how it goes. Thanks.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011):

I think he was hurt and experienced jealousy when you 'teased' him. So he lashed out by calling you a rude name. Maybe you should have a heart to heart with him because you might not have romantic feelings for him but it sounds as if he might have some for you. On some level you may already know that... in which case 'teasing' him is inappropriate. I would forgive his outburst and have a sensible chat with him about things.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011):

Forgive him for what? Not approving of your behavior?

You have the right to your own choices, but you don't get to tell another person how he/she should feel about them.

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A female reader, VSAddict United States +, writes (14 September 2011):

VSAddict agony auntI think you should forgive him. You don't have to stop your behavior, but you should listen to him. True best friends would never hurt you intentionally and he was just stating his opinion. Everyone has one. If I lost my best friend to something like this, I would most likely cry for weeks because we are honest with each other and make each other happy when we talk to each other and I'm sure nothing like this would get in the way of me and his friendship and if it did, it wouldn't last long. We've never even had a fight, but I'm waiting for it to happen. Don't let your friendship come to an end because of this. Just take the opinion and decide if you want to let it change your behavior. Forgive him now. It's a lot better then finding out 10 yrs later from him that he thinks your behavior's slutty, isn't it? Hope this helps.

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