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... Send *SAddict a private message | | | *SAddict's profile:I'm 18, live in SC. I have depression and that holds me back sometimes. I love this site and love to give advice though I rarely follow my own. I hope my advice helps someone and if it does, I'm happy. If not, at least I can say I tried. If you ever want to talk send me a message. I'm always here :). |
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Problems with my ex...how do I handle this?
Q. I told my separated husband I'm pregnant. He still wanted to make it work. I asked him if he was sure. He said yes. We continue together for a month, within that time I took him to interviews he needed help with his car I help him get it fix. After ...
A. 26 July 2011: It's great that you two are getting a divorce and you no longer have to be disrespected. Well even if he might cause a mess, don't you think the unbron child deserves to get to know their father?... (read in full...)
Problems with my ex...how do I handle this?
Q. I told my separated husband I'm pregnant. He still wanted to make it work. I asked him if he was sure. He said yes. We continue together for a month, within that time I took him to interviews he needed help with his car I help him get it fix. After ...
A. 26 July 2011: Forgot to ask, have you decided to keep the baby?... (read in full...)
We had split up because he was not serious about our future as I was. Should I take him back?
Q. I was talking to this guy for a year and a half. We weren't in a relationship and I was gone for school most of the time. We "liked" each other, flirted etc Eventually I told him to go away since this wasn't going anywhere. After that he says he ...
A. 26 July 2011: You need to call it quits with this guy for good. But if you do decide to give him another chance, make sure his words are lining up with his actions before you get too involved again.... (read in full...)
Problems with my ex...how do I handle this?
Q. I told my separated husband I'm pregnant. He still wanted to make it work. I asked him if he was sure. He said yes. We continue together for a month, within that time I took him to interviews he needed help with his car I help him get it fix. After ...
A. 26 July 2011: File the divorce, order child support, and figure out custody arrangements(maybe he should get supervised visits, if any at all). Move on, supoort and love your daughter, and find someone better than him.... (read in full...)
How do I tell my son that he will be seeing a father, he barely knows?
Q. First I would like to thank everyone for reading this. So here it goes, I just had found out that my kid's father was granted for an access to see him. I've been reluctant to agree with this due to my kids father hasn't been a father to my child. I ...
A. 26 July 2011: You could say something along the lines of "(Child's name), you're going to start seeing your father once a week. Even though you're not familiar and it's something you'll have to get use to, he's your father and you two deserve to know each other ... (read in full...)
Telling my lover he can't come to my home..will make him angry! How do I deal with this?
Q. I know I will be judged for what I am about to write, but I am just looking for open minded opinions. I am a 37 year old female, have been seeing a 39 year old married man. I was in a relationship myself (not married, but dated and lived together...
A. 26 July 2011: Any way you say it is going to offend him, so be honest about it and tell him why. And he has no right to say you can't be shared with anyone else when he's being shared also. He seems controlling and doesn't listen. And he can't control his temper. ... (read in full...)
I want a family, he wants to join the RAF. How can I end it without hurting him?
Q. Okay, well this has been a really hard decision for me to make and to be honest I'm still not a 100% sure if it's the right decision either. Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 5 years now and we seemed perfectly happy together, we wante...
A. 26 July 2011: You're just going to have to be honest and tell him. Tell him everything you're feeling about this situation. It'll obviously hurt him, but it's best to be honest with him. It's no good being in a relationship when you two don't want the same ... (read in full...)
Do women look too ?
Q. A question that will ignite a debate, we men although may have the most beautiful wife/girlfriend but we keep on looking at other women, we don't get enough! although we may be having the best woman...Are women like us in nature, do they look at men ...
A. 25 July 2011: I think most, if not all, women do. We can't help if someone crosses our line of view and they happen to be attractive. I think it's normal and fine to do since it's just looking and nothing more. Some women may disagree.... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and nearly married but my partner has changed;
Q. Well i have been with my partner for 3 years. ^ months ago we split up dor 6 months but he said he loved me and wanted me back. When we got back together all our previous problems seemed to have dispppeared and he proposed. Wedding is in 9 weeks and ...
A. 25 July 2011: Sorry to say but you shouldn't marry this guy. He has no right to treat you this way. He knew things were going to be different since you got pregnant and he shouldn't be treating you this way when you need him during this time. Don't marry this ... (read in full...)
Why was she sitting on his lap? is it all as innocent as he makes out or was he cheating again?
Q. Last year my husband finally told me the truth about what really happened when he was involved with another girl before we got married. We have been married 4 years, together 10 this year, and about 5 years ago he cheated on me with a coworker.. So ...
A. 25 July 2011: Why does the picture from 5 years ago matter? They were drunk and it propably meant nothing. What should be more important is your husband admitting he's cheated. Why would you stay with him when he didn't respect you enough to stay faithful?... (read in full...)
Not sure what to make of my ex's messages
Q. What is going on with my ex ?. We broke up in May. He broke up with me. He dumped me for a girl he spoke to online, who he has never even met !. We live in England, and she lives in America. They spoke to each other through webcam and microphones. ...
A. 25 July 2011: Maybe he does want you back, but don't make a big deal of it since he dumped you for someone else. You're doing the right thing by not responding. If he doesn't want you two to talk, then he should stop sending the msgs in the first place.... (read in full...)
I hate not being able to sort this out right now! How should I play this?
Q. How can I say sorry more than I already have? Ok lets cut a long story short: - -Been seeing this guys since March he lives about 2hrs from me and I am so in love with him its untrue -I still live with my ex as neither of us have anywhere else to...
A. 25 July 2011: Just because he says it doesn't mean you can't do it. He needs to stop being immature. Go and see your niece and nephew.... (read in full...)
I hate not being able to sort this out right now! How should I play this?
Q. How can I say sorry more than I already have? Ok lets cut a long story short: - -Been seeing this guys since March he lives about 2hrs from me and I am so in love with him its untrue -I still live with my ex as neither of us have anywhere else to...
A. 25 July 2011: You've explained yourself and apologize, so you should just wait for your boyfriend to come around. May I ask why the ex kept you from seeing your family?... (read in full...)
I want the money I gave him back now I found out his debts are due to an ex! What should I do now?
Q. My parter is 40 and I am 27, we live together and everything is great relationship wise. However, my parter is broke. He is in debt to up to 30,000 and he is paying it back slowly. To make matters worse his income is very low so this will probably ...
A. 25 July 2011: You should ask for it back. The money that you earned shouldn't be going to someone else he dated. It should be going to his credit card debt or whatever debt he has that's not entitled to his ex. That's his problem, he decided to get himself in ... (read in full...)
Did he just use me for sex? How do I get over him?
Q. i broke up with my bf a couple months ago. we were together for about 4 years and things were starting to go sour... we tried to mend the relationship but it was too broken to go on. after the break, we kept it friendly, but i never stoped loving h...
A. 25 July 2011: He did use you. He knew how you felt and decided to use it to his advantage. You just have to give yourself time. Don't contact him and don't have anything to do with him. Take on your favorite and new activities. You'll be over him sooner than you ... (read in full...)
Pressure over lending money to my fiance, please help!
Q. Hi, I need advice. Basically I am engaged (have been for a year now). I am working part time at my dad’s shop and generally trying to make money for the future. My girlfriend has been unemployed for about 2 years, she has tried her best to get a job ...
A. 25 July 2011: Don't feel pressured to do anything. It's your money, you've worked hard to make it. If you feel you shouldn't give it to her, then don't. She knows that you need your money to keep making money, so there was no need for her to ask you. I think she ... (read in full...)
Should I try to reconcile with my long term boyfriend or try to have a go with my facebook friend??
Q. As I am new to this website, I just hope that everyone will welcome me with the open arm. I just hope someone could give me a suggestion which I can eventually move on with my problem @ question. Before you keep on reading, please note below: ...
A. 25 July 2011: First, talk to your boyfriend and ask him if he could go back to calling and emailing you frequently as it would make you feel better. If he doesn't, then maybe you should break it off if you can't deal with how little he contacts you. As for the ... (read in full...)
Should I blame myself, or prove to him that he is to blame?
Q. I have finally ended my 7 years relationship with my bf and I don't know if It is right. I didn't cry at all and it feels strange. He blames me for everything that happened between us. He said that he run away because I have pushed him so hard and ...
A. 25 July 2011: It's not right for him to blame you for everything as he propably had his faults too. He couldn't have been the perfect one. But I don't think you should care about who's responsible for it ending. It's over, it wasn't meant to last and you don't ... (read in full...)
How can I show her that I want to change and things can get better?
Q. Hi. I've seen a few questions on here, and I feel like you guys probably can help me.if not. Please try. My wife and I have been married for four years, but were dating since our sophmore year in highschool. All my life I've dealt with an anger...
A. 25 July 2011: In order for things to get better, you have to forgive her.
This has always been an issue for you and until you let it go, you will always be angry and feel the need to use that against her. Since you've already went through counseling, the only... (read in full...)
My ex cheated on me with my best friend and now everything has turned upside down!
Q. dear users , this is actually a story can be made like a movie !!! ... i won't say much details but i will tell you the outlines and i want you to help me choosing the right way , 4 years ago i was committed to someone " a guy" we lived a great ...
A. 25 July 2011: Leave this guy alone. He's trying to control you while in another relationship. He can't be hypocritical and move on to someone else and then get mad when you do also. If he feels that he can move on, then you should too. Don't let this guy control ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is accusing me of seducing other girls with eye contact! Help!
Q. My girlfriend says I seduce every damn girl out there in shopping malls , market places and on streets using my dirty eye contacts and movements. Last night,while crying, she warned me if I couldn't get this stopped , she would dump. I talked t...
A. 25 July 2011: Your girlfriend has a lot of insecurity. She can't expect for you to not look at other girls. They're everywhere. Does she expect you to put your head down every time you two go out? She can't and she shouldn't. Tell your girlfriend that looking is ... (read in full...)
Trying to pass off another man's child as my husbands....Is this really such a big deal?
Q. I have been married for 2 months, but pregnant with another man's baby. i dated by husband for 3 years, but he really treated me badly for a while. I fell pregant by him and he "forced", me to abort, which i regreted.I resorted to cheating on him ...
A. 25 July 2011: Your husband deserves to know the truth. Don't let him spend the next 18 yrs spending his money and putting his time to raise some kid that's not his. Not telling him is selfish and not the right thing to do. And if he treated you so badly, why did ... (read in full...)
Guy cant seem to make up his mind - me or his GF. Whats going on here?
Q. This is long i know so if you're not going to read it please don't answer. I need help. Me and a guy friend since school (we're both 24 now) used to have a causal thing, when we were both single. We'd meet up and sometimes sleep together. I stup...
A. 25 July 2011: If he's doing this to his girlfriend, then why would you want to sleep with someone like that? He doesn't care about you, he just wants as much sex as he can gets. You guys will never be more than friends and both of you know that. So don't waste ... (read in full...)
She wants some space! What should I do?
Q. I'm back with my ex wife, and for the first five months it was great. But now she is saying she wants some space, and she is losing her feelings for me slowly! she said space apart, to see if we will grow closer together....
A. 24 July 2011: If she is starting to lose feelings for you, then why stay with her. There's no need for her to have space if you two are trying to make it work. I think you should call it quits this time because if she was trying to make it work, she would be ... (read in full...)
Should I continue trying to have a relationship with him?
Q. Here's the deal, I am 18 and he's 27. I've known him since I was around 8 years old and he was 17. He disappeared for a few years and came back this year... Now I am very attracted to him. He's been texting and talking to me...(As in, he texts first ...
A. 24 July 2011: As long as it's legal, age is just a number. I see no reason why you shouldn't. Just be open and ask him how he feels about dating someone who's 10 yrs younger.... (read in full...)
Stressed, because my friends like to drink and I don't! How do I deal with this?
Q. I get pressure from people all the time, the same people. ALL my friends drink! I'm not much into it because I hate the taste. I will try a drink but I will never like it. I'm just sick of all my friends pressuring me. It's like they never heard of ...
A. 24 July 2011: Talk with them and tell them how you feel. Let them know how serious you are and that it's making you consider finding new friends. You don't have to get drunk to have a good time and it's nice to have someone in the group who has their head on ... (read in full...)
The more I try to talk to him, the more he pushes me away!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been going out for six months i thought things were going well except that i thought he was not romantic enough and sometimes i didn't feel he treated me right. I raised the issue several times and he promised to change made ...
A. 24 July 2011: Leave him. He doesn't care about you enough to put you into consideration. He's not going to change and things will remain the same. He may just not be the romantic person, some people are like that. Or he feels that he shouldn't have to change his ... (read in full...)
Is now the right time and am I the right age to have sex?
Q. Hi, I am 19 and i have a bf. He's also 19 and I am stil a virgin. We have been dating for 6months nd we love each other very much. Whenever i go 2 his house we only kiss nd hold each other.Recently,he told me he would like too have sex with me. My ...
A. 24 July 2011: It's ok to have sex at your age. There is no certain time frame to have sex with someone. But if you have to ask, then you are not ready, so wait until you feel ready and you don't feel you need to ask someone.... (read in full...)
Can a relationship last without sex?
Q. I haven't had sex yet, but I always knew I was gay. I've been trying to find the right guy, but couldn't all this 10 years. Last year I met this guy and when he noticed I was always avoiding sex he got himself checked and unfortunately he's ...
A. 24 July 2011: If you two really love each other and value the things you do together that aren't sexual, then I think it could last. Tell him how you feel. It might offend him, but he deserves to know why you refuse to be intimate. If he cares about you more then ... (read in full...)
I believe a relationship means doing things together, so why does he instead spend time partying and drinking with his friends?
Q. Hey everyone, I posted a question a while ago for advice on my LDR with my boyfriend. As i've already been helped with that, I want to ask for help with the next issue i'm facing. For a boyfriend that has shown signs of being more committed to alc...
A. 24 July 2011: Tell him how you feel. He needs to start putting you first more often. It was really inconsiderate for him to not want you to go to something that was your idea in the first place. Tell him that you want him to spend more time with you. If he ... (read in full...)
With him 10 year but he's a controlling man... how do I get out?
Q. Hi, my bf and I had been together for quite some time. First, we were long distance, then I moved in with him about 2 years ago. When I first moved in I didn't have any friends or family. I still don't have any family here, but I manage to find ...
A. 24 July 2011: Leave this guy. Just tell him its over. It's only going to get worse if you stay with him. He has no trust in you and he never will, so leave. You're allowed to have your own friends and any man who comes into your life trying to get you to drop ... (read in full...)
Should I loan him money to get his car fixed?
Q. Hiya uncles and aunts.. Advice me here... Ive been dating this guy for 7months now and things are still great.. Just have a question here... We frim same town but live two diffrent places and we also work at the same company..he has a car so when ...
A. 24 July 2011: If you have the slightest feeling that you shouldn't, then don't do it. Money and relationships don't mix. Don't feel obligated to give your hard earned money to him because he's with you. People in a relationship always say they'll pay their ... (read in full...)
I'm a gay Latino man. Should I come out to my aunts, uncles, cousins and parents?
Q. I'm a latino gay man but not out to my aunts, uncles or cousins yet. To tell you the truth I don't think that's their problem. My parents and brothers live in my south american country although I'm out to my brothers but not my parents. They're in ...
A. 24 July 2011: Have you ever seen your parents/other family react to homosexuality? If it's a negative reaction, then I don't think you should tell them. But if there's no reaction or a good reaction then you should tell them. But you're part of their family and ... (read in full...)
How do I dress to impress when you're with someone for a whole day?
Q. We've hung out before, the first time was just a movie, and the second time it was a coincidence but we ended up spending half a day together. This time, I specifically asked her to spend a day with me, and she was completely for it and said yes...
A. 24 July 2011: You could wear a nice polo shirt and some khaki shorts. It's not too dressy and it fits with the weather. Hope I helped, if at all.... (read in full...)
The girl I love isn't sure about what she wants.
Q. Need advice, The girl I love has been seeing someone for a while. We live together and have a child together. She said I didn't do the things I said I was going to do and treated her poorly. After telling her how I felt about her she says she ...
A. 24 July 2011: If she won't even talk to you, then why would you still have a relationship with her? Things are always going to be like this. Even though you tried talking to her, it seems like she doesn't care anymore. You've put your best foot forward and she's ... (read in full...)
I caught him red-handed with another girl! How do I get over this and stop blaming myself?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for more than one year. Two days ago we spent a nice evening celebrating my birthday, and so I thought that things were just all going great between us. Until tonight, I caught him near his home being ...
A. 23 July 2011: You just have to realize you gave it your all and did the best you could and move on. None of it was your fault so don't blame yourself. He didn't find you good enough so he decided to cheat, which was unfortunate. But whenever you feel you're ... (read in full...)
I feel I am really a lesbian...and I wonder if this makes me a bad person...
Q. I am single..I have been raised as a good daughter and a model of being a good and responsible person. I dress well and my talk and even my gestures are very firm and proper but suddenly, I my have learned that I am attracted to a female like me and ...
A. 23 July 2011: There's nothing wrong with being a lesbian or anything other than straight. Don't try to fight your feelings or you will end up feeling worse. Give this girl a chance and you can determine whether or not you're bisexual or gay. But this isn't bad so ... (read in full...)
My sex drive is lower than my boyfriends, should I be worried?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost four months. Things are going fantastic between us except the sexual aspect of the relationship. Basically, he has a high sex drive and I don't. Occasionally, I can feel pressured into doing it with ...
A. 22 July 2011: You don't have to stop the relationship because of differing sex drives. Just find the times when you are both in the mood to be intimate. It shouldn't be forced or pressured so only do it when both of you are comfortable. Your sex drive is normal ... (read in full...)
I am sure there is an attraction, so why did he tell a friend he didn't want to date?
Q. I've been interested in a certain guy for a year now, and I have no idea how to handle my situation or figure him out. It's summer vacation now, so I have time to organise myself for when I get back. We talk frequently, and we've been flirting for ...
A. 22 July 2011: It doesn't look like he wants to date anyone. He's more into just flirting and if this has been going on for a year, then it's likely that he won't change his mind. Since he won't date you, just try to move on and maybe him seeing you interested in ... (read in full...)
In a dead relationship but somehow still together....what should I do?
Q. Im in a dead relationship with my boyfriend he has cheated I have cheated but for some odd reason we are still together he's very attentive to me when he's out of town but when he's home he completely ignores me my question him he gets upset and ...
A. 22 July 2011: You should leave him and move on. He doesn't care about you as much as he should and he's not willing to communicate. So move on and find someone who makes you happy and cares if you're not happy.... (read in full...)
I just want to fit in and feel good about myself
Q. Hey :) well basically i could use some help. I dont really how to say this but i feel so un-attractive its unbelivable. Its been really getting me down and no matter how hard i try i just cant seem to feel like im pretty or good loo...
A. 22 July 2011: I know how you feel. It got embarrassing to the point where I felt I had to do something about it. I never realized how big I was and how much weight I was gaining until I made a rip in 2 or 3 pairs of my favorite pants within one school week. I've ... (read in full...)
At the end of his trip he stopped contacting me and it has carried on now he is back! Should I start snooping to find out what is going on? Or wait for him to tell me?
Q. I want opinions, if you went away on a trip and your bf talked to you everyday during the trip and before the trip you either saw your bf or talked to him everyday. Then a couple of days before your trip ended he stopped calling texted very little. ...
A. 22 July 2011: Don't snoop. Just ask him directly what's going on. This isn't normal and you deserve an explanation. If he's not willing to go back to the way things were and give you the attention you need, maybe you should leave.... (read in full...)
Why is my cousin so judgmental about the men that I date?
Q. Hello Cupid! I met a 28-year-old distant cousin at a family reunion two years ago and we instantly clicked. At the time she was living in NY, and we would talk on average 3 to 4 times a week, sometimes more. And the majority of the conversation...
A. 22 July 2011: Then don't follow her advice. She's probly thinking that she's helping and that you two have the same desires when looking for a man. But since you don't like this, tell her how you feel. It's not her right to judge who you date based on what her ... (read in full...)
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