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... Send *wirly a private message | | | *wirly's profile:Hi There,
I live in the North of England and am a 34 year old busy singleton! I am a bit of a nightowl and discovered this site by chance a year or so ago and have been popping in and out ever since, answering questions whenever I think I can help in some way!
Im pretty open minded, a big fan of Bob Dylan, Bill Hicks and Eddie Izzard which gives you an idea of my outlook on life!
Ive had my fair share of romance happiness and heartache and would love to be thinner but am pretty happy and grounded on the whole and hope to advise and help wherever I can.
Love Twirly xx |
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My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!
Q. Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...
A. 15 May 2008: Hi Sarcy,
Im so glad to hear you say that, Im going 'Yey' from here in Yorkkshire!
Try very hard not to answer the phone to him or respond to any of his texts. Let him leave messages and only responde if absolutley necessary.
Go... (read in full...)
My brother abused me, now I've pressed charges and it's tearing me and my family apart. Please help me deal with this misery!
Q. ok i really need some help here, so i need as many opinions as possable, whatever your veiw. ok, i was sexually, physically and mentally abused by my brother when i was about 9 years old and he was 15. my parents worked all the hours they could for ...
A. 7 May 2008: Hi There,
Ive popped back on to re-iterate that you did do the right thing in reporting your brother for abusing you as a child, and I hope that you're feeling better about it all since asking your question the other day.
Im sorry that the n... (read in full...)
My brother abused me, now I've pressed charges and it's tearing me and my family apart. Please help me deal with this misery!
Q. ok i really need some help here, so i need as many opinions as possable, whatever your veiw. ok, i was sexually, physically and mentally abused by my brother when i was about 9 years old and he was 15. my parents worked all the hours they could for ...
A. 4 May 2008: Guys, I really think you should take this argument off the board now and keep it between the two of you.
It's not fair to having a slanging match like this all over this lady's question, especially given the sensitive nature of the subject ... (read in full...)
I wrote the girl of my dreams a song. Is it okay that I give it to her?
Q. I wrote the girl of my dreams a song and i plan on giving it to her today. I am really nervous that she is going to think its lame and think i am gay or something. She knows i am writing her one but she doesn't know it is about how great of a ...
A. 2 May 2008: I think that's so gorgeous and romantic!
Give it to her, I can't imagine her being anything else but touched by and flattered by it! xxx... (read in full...)
My brother abused me, now I've pressed charges and it's tearing me and my family apart. Please help me deal with this misery!
Q. ok i really need some help here, so i need as many opinions as possable, whatever your veiw. ok, i was sexually, physically and mentally abused by my brother when i was about 9 years old and he was 15. my parents worked all the hours they could for ...
A. 2 May 2008: You did the right thing without a shadow of a doubt. He may be your brother but he was 15 at the time and old enough to know better.
Regarding your parents, they have obviously chose to try and deal with the situation by playing it down to ... (read in full...)
I can't stand my wife. Should I leave her for my lover?
Q. Hi, I have been with my other half for 7 years now and been married for the last year.I have a job which takes me away for up to half a year at a time. My other half somewhat pushed the marrige on me before i went away last year and this time i'...
A. 2 May 2008: 30 years old is not old at all, and is way too young to be trapped in a marriage that you don't want to be in.
I have to say I think you have been incrediby unfair to your wife in going ahead with marrying her if you weren't that into her and can ... (read in full...)
I have mixed feelings about this, will my feelings change if he chooses me?
Q. Hi I am a young 22 yr old single mom. I am very scared because I met a married man who is ten yrs older than I am. I'm not scared because I met him but because when we talked for the first time it was for hours. We have so much in common and he is ...
A. 30 April 2008: PS I forgot to mention that if he does leave his wife and then chooses to be with you then you shouldn't feel guilty if your feelings for him change, as he will be coming to you as a single man, and not as a man who 'gave up his wife for you'.
... (read in full...)
I have mixed feelings about this, will my feelings change if he chooses me?
Q. Hi I am a young 22 yr old single mom. I am very scared because I met a married man who is ten yrs older than I am. I'm not scared because I met him but because when we talked for the first time it was for hours. We have so much in common and he is ...
A. 30 April 2008: Hey Sweetie,
I think the most important thing is what you've already said, that you and he don't spend as much time together until he decides what he wants to do about his marriage.
The last thing you need is to be his 'reason' for leaving his ... (read in full...)
Why, if a girl pursues a married man, does he fall into it? Why keep responding to her emails?
Q. I know guys have their particular way of doing things. Now see this case. A girl has started to email this guy, first as a friend, they met earlier in a business trip, they went diff ways. He replies right back at her , but it turns out the man is m...
A. 28 April 2008: I think that some married men will be flattered by the attention, and may get more involved than they intended to at the beginning.
Flirty emails can often be the start of an emotional affair, progressing to texts and phonecalls and meeting ... (read in full...)
How do I move on with my life?
Q. How do you forget about someone and get on with your life?? I was having an affair with a married man for 4 months and it has now ended as we've both decided to make it work with our current partners (he has 3 children). We have both told our ...
A. 24 April 2008: It's most likely going to be really hard but it will get better. Well done on ending things, the consequences of continuing and being found out would be far more hurtful all round which is one consolation.
I feel for you and wish you lots of ... (read in full...)
Now that my boyfriend changed his password I don't even want to see him! Why?
Q. Since my boyfriend change his cell phone password, it got me thinking that he is hidding something from me or he is cheating on me. That situation make me think act different when I'm with him, every time I see him or with him, it get me wonder. ...
A. 19 April 2008: Hey There, it sounds like him changign the password isn't the problem at all here, but you are afraid of something else and don't trust him.
I agree with rcn in that you need to look at what it is that's really troubling you and figure out why ... (read in full...)
Should he stay a virgin?
Q. Hi all, I find it really disturbing that one of our Aunts (WE ALL KNOW WHO) is ranting and raving over religion. He is clearly very disturbed, and should anyone that has such extreme views be giving advice? We are all entitled to believe in w...
A. 19 April 2008: Hey Tallulah!
Im with you on this one, but sadly, as you can see from some of the responses here, a lot of others are with him (albeit not as extreme sounding!)
My feeling is that he expressed his beliefs about virginity and adultery in the ... (read in full...)
Almost 14 and I've never had a boyfriend! Am I the only girl in the world without one?
Q. Hiya everyone! I have a very embarrasing problem, I am nearly 14 and I have never had a boyfriend. It's really embarrasing for me when my friends talk about all their boyfriends. The problem wouldn't be so bad if I didn't want a boyfriend, bu...
A. 19 April 2008: Ahh please don't worry, it's perfectly normal to not have had a boyfriend at 14. Why not think of dating and having fun rather than looking for a serious boyfriend, you've got many many years ahead to have serious boyfriends, so enjoy being young, ... (read in full...)
Advice on my bob hairstyle?
Q. hey all i was just lookin for some advice i have a bob hairstyle.. its like as short aas victoria beckhams and that very style..but is there anything else i can so with it apart from keep it straight an bob like? i fancy a change but not a huge on...
A. 19 April 2008: Hey! Your hair sounds lovely as it is, but if you want a bit of versatility you could try some layers around your face, so that you can sweep your fringe forward and have a different look that way, but still keep your bob shape.
I had all-one-... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: New feature, "watched questions" list
Q. I've added a new feature that lets you add questions to your "watched questions" page. It's just an easy way to make a list of questions that interest you and that you want to keep track of. It's easy to remove items from the list or clear it. ...
A. 18 April 2008: Love it Thankyou, it's really useful in keeping up to date on older and long running questions x... (read in full...)
My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!
Q. Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...
A. 17 April 2008: Hey Sarcy,
I have been a reader of your story since you first posted your question and want to remind you that at the end of the day it boils down to 2 things:
1. He had an affair and left you for her.
2. He has a drinking problem which has ma... (read in full...)
Love Triangle! Am I living in a fantasy?
Q. The backdrop is....8 years ago I was in a relationship with a woman (I'm a woman) we were togther for about three years and then she dumped me to get married to a man. Now, fast forward...this love of my life looked me up about four months ago, now ...
A. 17 April 2008: It sounds as though she could happily continue as you are doing, seeing both of you, so I think it's sadly up to you to decide if you think you can accept a future with her, knowing you will always be sharing her.
It's a tough situation and I do... (read in full...)
I'm in my own private hell over a married man I never let into my life. Why does doing the right thing hurt so bad?
Q. I am married. I began to have feelings for another man who is also married. He approached me for a relationship but I said nothing, not wanting to hurt him but also not wanting him to know about my feelings. I just could not bring myself to betray ...
A. 17 April 2008: Ahh, I really feel for you. This phase will pass, you've been awfully brave and it sounds like you'll look back and see this as having had a lucky escape from this guy.
Wishing you loads of love and strength and hope you feel better soon. x ... (read in full...)
Are there any other people who want to wait for marriage before having sex?
Q. As a young man 25 years old, I want to know if there are any other people from 18-35 who have standards and want to remain virgins when they marry, also would not marry a person who has been divorced and had kids of of wedlock?...
A. 17 April 2008: Hey Big Sis, I see where you're coming from, but I don't think Southern Man would have been able to come up with 'mandatory priority' and a whole post spelt correctly, so it looks like there's two scary male virgins in this thread!
(Im 34 so have ... (read in full...)
A question of who should be president?
Q. During the recent presidntial election many have talked about relgion and morals. John McCain is remarried while his first wife is stil living that is adultery. Hillary Clintons husband is an adulter. Barrack Obama has no cases against h...
A. 17 April 2008: Hey! Why don't you run for president?
You may be a religious zealot, sexist, narrow minded, not awfully bright and unable to spell but hey, you've never committed adultery!
Go on! Go for it! :o)
... (read in full...)
My partner of 4 years is very controlling about everything even down to what we eat!
Q. My partner of 4 years is very controlling about everything even down to what we eat. We recently split for a couple of weeks when i found out he'd looked at porn on the internet. We got back together after talks, because I'd seen what he'd looked at ...
A. 16 April 2008: Wow, he can tell you what to eat but look at porn online? Something sounds really wrong here!
You don't have to put up with this behaviour, I suggest you leave him.
Good luck x... (read in full...)
No periods for 6 months, I'm not pregnant, and I dont have insurance to go to the docs, What could be wrong ?
Q. i really need advice! i havent gotten my period in 6 months, and ive taken 8 pregnancy tests, all of which said negative. i also have frequent, sharp pains right by my uterus on both sides, when i walk, or lean my weight towards one side. id go to a ...
A. 16 April 2008: Hey There,
There are doctors you can go to where you don't need to have insurance, make some enquiries in your town.
I lived in America for 2 years and there were several doctor's surgeries where you go amd pay a small ammount like $15, which ... (read in full...)
He has jokinly told his wife (who doesn't wish to have children) he will have them with or without her!! He also said he'd leave her if I were to fall pregnant?! Any ideas?
Q. i have only recently started dating a married man i met in a social circle of friends at a sporting event . we have so much in common and were attracted to each other instantly ... a week after our meet he traveled over to see me and stayed the ...
A. 16 April 2008: Sweetheart, he should leave his wife anyway!
If he is with her, and seeing you, it's not fair to you and your kids or to his wife.
He's not behaving well at all here, please be careful. My advice would be to stop seeing him until he is sing... (read in full...)
A one night stand - should I give him a call?
Q. I recently had a one night stand with a man I met at a bar. We were both very drunk. To be quite honest he didn't even know my name until we were finished and I told him what it was. We didn't exchange numbers. Just as I left he said 'call me ...
A. 16 April 2008: It sounds like you'd like to see him again and as he doesn't have your number and as he said to give him a call there's no harm in calling to see!
If I were you I would do it lightheartedly and be prepared for the possible outcomes which are:
... (read in full...)
Can a woman get pregnant having sex on the first day of her period?
Q. Can a woman get pregnant after having sex on the first day of her period?...
A. 16 April 2008: It's very unlikely! x x x... (read in full...)
I've toppled off his pedestal, can he love me like he did before?
Q. My BF admitted he doesn't love me as much as he used to, and I'm devastated. We have our issues, especifically, because I lied about my past when we had been together for 6 months. We have been now together for a year and 7 months. He's sti...
A. 16 April 2008: Hey Sweetie, you sound so fed up I really feel for you.
It sounds like you've tried everything but stand on your head to move on from your earlier troubles and make the relationship work but you aren't getting any help from your guy at all.
... (read in full...)
Am I too young for alcohol and smoking? I'm 15...
Q. Ok so im 15 now but I starting drinking when i was 14 and there are only a few people in my grade that do because we are like the popular people...so is it really that young i mean it doesnt feel that way at all and also i smoke not pot but ...
A. 16 April 2008: PS I started smoking at 17 and never thought I would get addicted! Im 34 now and still puffing away! I wish so much I had never started so do watch out if you really don't want to become addicted as it's ever so hard to prevent it from becoming a ... (read in full...)
Am I too young for alcohol and smoking? I'm 15...
Q. Ok so im 15 now but I starting drinking when i was 14 and there are only a few people in my grade that do because we are like the popular people...so is it really that young i mean it doesnt feel that way at all and also i smoke not pot but ...
A. 16 April 2008: It's entirely up to you but my thoughts are that you have your whole life to drink and smoke, and so little time to enjoy being young so why rush?
Most of my friends and myself started going out to pubs etc... after the age of 16, during A-level ... (read in full...)
My soon-to-be husband sometimes flirts with women online or on the phone, once even asked out a married woman. Am I denial, minimising the magnitude of his habit?
Q. Me and my bf are in a serious relationship and have plans to get married by hopefully next year. There's one issue that has been bothering me though.. he sometimes flirts with women online or on the phone. He has done this a few times in the past ...
A. 16 April 2008: Gosh I have to say that it doesn't sound healthy at all.
I agree with the majority here in thinking you should get out while you still can, as your self esteem will continue to decrease if you stay and his flirty behaviourcontinues, or worse, e... (read in full...)
My wife had a boob job, after I said no. I am leaving her!
Q. My wife went and had a boob job and I find it absolutely disgusting. Once she had small, pretty breasts and I loved them just the way they were. she kept asking me if she should get them "done" and I told her no, not only no but, H--L NO!!!!! I ...
A. 15 April 2008: Ooo, maybe it was this line of yours that gave it away...
'Once she had small, pretty breasts and I loved them just the way they were'
You have totally discredited yourself with your contradictions and I feel that any advise will be unapprec... (read in full...)
My wife had a boob job, after I said no. I am leaving her!
Q. My wife went and had a boob job and I find it absolutely disgusting. Once she had small, pretty breasts and I loved them just the way they were. she kept asking me if she should get them "done" and I told her no, not only no but, H--L NO!!!!! I ...
A. 15 April 2008: Good for her I say, now you are leaving she'll be free to meet a man who loves her for who she is and not just because she had small boobs.
Ooo yes, and someone who doesn't think she is a moron!
Look out Thailand, judgmental man with small b... (read in full...)
My fiance is fed up with me constantly worrying about my weight, and how I look. How can I overcome this problem?
Q. What is wrong with me, with letting go? My fiance and i are due to be married, but believe it or not we still have issues in the bedroom! I'm the most self-conscious person i know which is partly the reason after having sex with the same person for ...
A. 14 April 2008: Hey Sweetie,
You could try the suggestion from the first poster here and try going around the house, but perhaps in your bra and panties rather than naked.
Im a curvy chick too and there's loads of lovely flattering underwear that you can get... (read in full...)
What would you change about your life?
Q. If you were able to change anything about your life, what would you change?...
A. 11 April 2008: I would never have started smoking and would have bought some property a lot sooner! x... (read in full...)
I'm in my own private hell over a married man I never let into my life. Why does doing the right thing hurt so bad?
Q. I am married. I began to have feelings for another man who is also married. He approached me for a relationship but I said nothing, not wanting to hurt him but also not wanting him to know about my feelings. I just could not bring myself to betray ...
A. 11 April 2008: Hi again,
Suggesting something may be missing in your marriage wasn't intended to be a criticism, simply an observation of how the sparkle can sometimes wane in a long term relationship.
I think it's commendable of you to want to stick at... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 11 April 2008: Hey Sweetie,
I think rcn has hit the nail on the head there! Im glad to hear you sounding strong and positive again, it seems that his affect on you is a lot weaker now than it was when you first posted which is great to see!
Lucky you hav... (read in full...)
He ignored me, so I kissed another guy. Now he wont forgive me.
Q. i often meet my friend's friends and i met this one guy. after a few times of meeting him i got a bit drunk and kissed him. we hadn't really been friends before this but we met up a few times after and i really liked him. one day i invited him out ...
A. 10 April 2008: PS You have absolutely nothing to apologise for as he made it clear that he wasn't interested, and you were single and free to kiss who you please!
Don't apologise! It's his problem not yours! x x x... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 10 April 2008: Hi Sweetie,
I am the anon lady from before who suggested the DVDs!
I have joined up now and would like to say that while it is a nice letter, I think you need to keep in mind all of the horrible things he has done and how awful he has made you... (read in full...)
He ignored me, so I kissed another guy. Now he wont forgive me.
Q. i often meet my friend's friends and i met this one guy. after a few times of meeting him i got a bit drunk and kissed him. we hadn't really been friends before this but we met up a few times after and i really liked him. one day i invited him out ...
A. 10 April 2008: I agree with A Cappella here. It was only a kiss and it was 2 months ago!
If he can't get over it then you're just going to have to let him go Sweetie. I would try to forget about him and get on with your life. If he does like you, nothing ... (read in full...)
I'm in my own private hell over a married man I never let into my life. Why does doing the right thing hurt so bad?
Q. I am married. I began to have feelings for another man who is also married. He approached me for a relationship but I said nothing, not wanting to hurt him but also not wanting him to know about my feelings. I just could not bring myself to betray ...
A. 10 April 2008: Hey Sweetie,
I think it is really brave of you to have faced up to these feelings but to have not acted upon them.
My advice would be to have a really good look atyour current relationship and at whether or not it is fulfilling you as it should... (read in full...)
I fell in love but found out she has a daughter from another relationship! How can I look at her the same?
Q. Dear friends out there, thanks for all the great advice you are giving to the world because it's helped lots of people, me included. However, I have one very disturbing situation that I have gotten myself into unintentionally. I fell in love wit...
A. 9 April 2008: Good grief. Words fail me.... (read in full...)
My parents doesn't like my boyfriend sleeping in the same room with me when he comes over!
Q. My parents doesn't like my boyfriend sleeping in the same room with me when he comes over. I can see that as normal when you're 16, however, I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 27. My parents are the traditional ones that believes you should sleep on the ...
A. 9 April 2008: Hi There,
I feel for you but think perhaps it may be time for you to move out and get a place of your own. Unfortunately if you are living under their roof then they have every right to enforce their rules.
This may be the time to move out... (read in full...)
How is an abortion done?
Q. I need an abortion, but words can't explain how worried I am.. Could anyone explain what happens when you first step into the hospital/clinic and onwards? Thank you so much....
A. 8 April 2008: Oh Sweetie,
Please try to stay positive. A lovely friend of mine once said that when you lose a baby, you get the same soul back next time. You've plenty of time to have lots of children.
Try to think how scary it would be if you had chosen t... (read in full...)
Should I cut my losses and let him go? Am I reading too much into it all?
Q. I have some niggling doubts about my boyfriend that I have been going out with for 2 years. He is 5 years younger than me - I am 36. When I first met him he admitted he had been keeping a few girls on the possibles list until then. This was ...
A. 8 April 2008: Hi Sweetheart,
Im so sorry to hear your story, I really feel for you and my advice would be to follow your inxtincts as sadly they are probably right.
All things aside, you are in a relationship that is making you feel insecure and under apprec... (read in full...)
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