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I don't know what to do I don't have a man in my life and my job is shit.

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Question - (8 April 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 26 May 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *achakaRoni writes:

I don't know what to do I don't have a man in my life and my job is shit. Everytime I try and change my life for the better- it ends up being the worst decisons Ive made i.e trying to get a new job or finding a new man. I don't know what to do anymore, my life seems to get worse everytime. Help me, plz.

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A female reader, Twirly United Kingdom +, writes (26 May 2008):

Twirly agony auntHey, you sound pretty amazing to me, to keep trying to change things for the better is a brilliant quality.

I agree with the advice below and just want to say keep trying, hang on to that belief that you can change things and they will get better.

All the things you've changed so far will be leading you to something that's perfect for you, however hard it may seem right now.

Hang in there xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008):

Hi,

You know what same here! i'm 21 years old and feel that i'm stuck/ i finished high school a few years ago, and feel that i'm going no where....... when i was younger i thought life was going to be funner and happier, i most important i thought i would feel more fulfilled. Just take it one day at a time !

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (9 April 2008):

Stayc63088 agony auntOk Ive been where you are. What I did was quit my job, first off. I went back to school (i didnt go to college), and started looking for a new job I would like. Also, I stopped looking for guys. When you are looking you will find none, and its the truth. You will meet someone when you arent expecting it. Focus on getting a job you love in something you are interested in. Look online or in the paper. Or ask friends for job openings. Chances are your life will stay shitty if you get a new job in something you have no interest in. You didnt mention if you have friends or not, but if you do, spend a lot of time with them. Remember also, everyone goes through a time where they are unhappy with their life and just depressed in general. And truthfully what good are you doing sitting around feeling shitty about your life? Nothing. Dont be so pessimistic. Join a gym or go out to clubs or work with a charity. If you helped out other people or animals it would make you feel a lot better about yourself. Think about it. But definitely do something, doing nothing makes it worse.

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A female reader, Jazzy121 United Kingdom +, writes (9 April 2008):

Hello

My advice would be to think more postively.

Everyday write one thing you like about yourself down in a book, e.g. I have a good sense of humor.

Keep it simple. :)

Then when your feeling depressed open the book and look at all the things you do like about yourself.

Secoundly be more pro-active, Join clubs that your interested in or go to events that look fun, (They are easy to find look online or in a local paper) You never know That Guy could be at one of them, its more likely to work if her has the same interests as you as well!

Jobs are really expanding to, why not Ask yourself what you really want to do...

and keep your eyes open in ads, word of mouth.. e.g.

Remember The key is to like yourself

Overwise who is going to like you enough to employee / date you if you dont like yourself..

GOOD LUCK

X

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008):

Well I could tell you to search for a fairy godmother or a magic wand to make it all better but we both know thats far too easy.

If you hate your job then consider retraining to do something else. There are loads of free adult training programmes about. It's just a case of identifying what you really want to do. If you don't have a man in your life right now....see it as a positive!!! You are free to do what you want and go for the job you want. It might not be easy or instant but it is entirely possible to do.

When your happy with your chosen path, you will be happier in yourself and the right man will eventually come your way. Putting yourself in a position to look at new jobs will also lead to meeting new people and you may find friendship that way too.

You just seem to be in a big old hurry to have everything right now...all laid out on a plate for you, but nothing good ever came easy so think more positively, get out there and start searching for opportunities to better your career path and see what comes of it.

Good luck!!!

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (8 April 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntConcentrate on one thing at a time, finding the right person is often a question of luck, but finding the right job is a lot easier.

Try and find out what it is you want to do, you are still young enough to re-educate yourselve if needed, but don't become one of those people whose entire identity is there work, you work to live, not the other way around.

Not sure how the UK handles this but their are aptitude test available that you can take to find out what suits you best, a lot of people make wrong choices in their education and shift jobs. Now is the time to look around, leave it too long and you will really hurt your later career with shifting jobs.

Then once the job is sorted try to get a handle on your personal life, hobbies, going out etc, then when you are happy with your job and life Mr Right will be far more likely to come by.

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