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I was happy sleeping with other men to please my husband, but he doesn't want me to anymore.

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Marriage problems, Sex, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 May 2008) 19 Answers - (Newest, 15 April 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

after we had been married about five years, my husband told me he wanted me to have sex with other men and he wanted to watch. i told him i didn't want to, but he begged and begged me to do this and i finally told him i would. he brought home a sailor from the navy base where he works. thy sailor was very nice and kinda a cute and i said he would be ok to have sex with. we had sex and my husband watched. my husband was very excited and after the sailor left, he and i had sex and it was really good. my husband asked me to do it again and he brought home a different sailor the next day. he brought home someone every day for the next two weeks. two or the sailors wanted to visit me when my husband was at work and they were off duty and my husband encouraged me to have them come to the house. when my husband got home, he wanted me to tell him everything we did and we had sex afterwards. he would bring someone home or they would come to the house on their own pretty regularly. i would have sex with someone about twice a week and my husband was always excited and happy. a couple of times on friday nites he brought home two or three men and we would have an all nite session. i really like those times. i really like him watching me with two men.

then, after we have done this for a long time, my husband stopped bringing the men home to me. he didnt tell me why and after a couple of months i asked him why he didn't have have the men over. he told me that he had told one of his female cousins about it and she told him that he was abusing me. she took him to her minister and he told him the same thing and told him he was very evil and abusive and made him get on his knees and beg god for forgiveness. i noticed he was acting different when he came back from visiting his cousin but he never said anything and i just thought maybe he and her had messed around and had sex and he was feeling bad about it. after a while, he told me what happened and begged me to forgive him.

i told him that there weren't anything wrong and i did not feel abused. he don't believe me and tells me that all i am doing is trying to make him feel better. but that isn't so. i mean it is so that i want him to feel better but, i want him to be happy and i told him i like him bringing home the sailors and i liked him watching me have sex with them. he doesn't believe me and wants me to see the minister and that fool called me and i told him to stay out of my business.

i want things to get back to the way it was. i miss my husband bringing home the sailors. they made me happy and my husband really was horny all the time and now he don't even has sex with me all that much. once in a while i get together with some of the sailors when my husband is at work but it ain't the same thing. how do i get him to believe me and get everything like it was??

View related questions: at work, cousin, horny, navy

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010):

I'm not sure what to tell you about your husband. He may be blaming the church, but its his own guilt -- or maybe jealousy has finally reared its ugly head. But, it's hard to put the cork back into the bottle. I think it was Anais Nin who wrote, "Be careful how much you enjoy the extraordinary, because it may destroy your enjoyment of the ordinary."

As for whether this is a real post or not? I don't know, but do you really think swingers are just figments of authors' imaginations? What about people who make porn? All computer-generated graphics? These things happen all the time in neighborhoods like the one you live in -- no matter where you live.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010):

Why dont you speak your mind in front of your husband. You should both do what you like.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008):

why do u all think it is fake???? i bring home men for my wife and she likes young military men too. i like to watch and she likes to have sex while i watch. most young guys really go for it and will do almost anything if it is getting them laid. the plus is that my wife is still a babe at 40 and the guys like what they are getting. i have been bringing men home for her for over 15 years. it started out four or five times a week, then four or five times a month and now it is about four or five time a year. if she wants to see somebody with out me setting it up, its ok with me as long as she tells me. as the number of times lessened, the number of men each time increased.

my wife really gets hot when i bring two or more men. one time i brought home five men and she loved it. women who feel secure in their relationships will do just about anything. when my wife was twenty, she was a demur little thing and acted shy. when she realized that i really wanted her to have sex with other men and that i enjoyed seeing her do it, she became a firecracker. at first i couldn't bring a man home for her often enough. as the mundane events of marriage occurred there was less time for "visitors" but the desire and enjoyment she has has never soured. i hope it works out for her.

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A male reader, oldfool Australia +, writes (3 June 2008):

oldfool agony auntIt kind of sounds like Fanny Hill. You know, totally naive and innocent while engaging in the most amazing debauchery :)

If it's for real, well... you're just going to have to try harder. Tell him exactly what you said in your post:

"i miss you bringing home the sailors. they made me happy and you really were horny all the time and now you don't even have sex with me all that much. once in a while i get together with some of the sailors when you're at work but it ain't the same thing."

See what he says.

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A male reader, mephistophiles Holy See (Vatican City State) +, writes (2 June 2008):

mephistophiles agony auntNaughty Spawn,

I was not dancing, I was tending the fires, and one of the sinners fell out. You wait till you step on your first burning sinner down here and see how you like it. Cher just happened to be playing when it happened. My hoof is still blistered.

As for this godless little minx, YOU GO GIRL! Keep up the great work. If you can crack the big 1000 mark I will send you a free trident and fake horns to use at our next get together.

Yours truly

Mephistophiles, aka Satan

P.S. Devil Spawn, I can't stay mad at you for lying, you chip of the old block.

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (2 June 2008):

Collaroy agony auntOh good grief....fake fake fake!!

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A male reader, Devil Spawn South Africa +, writes (2 June 2008):

Devil Spawn agony aunthmmmm, sharing my wife?? Nope never going to happen.

I think you and your husband need to talk about things, find out why you do want to be shared around and why his is against it.

Dad... AKA satan,

As i said before, its good to see you have a hobby away from fire and damnation.

No there are to be no video's used in the bar 666.

Now for all other readers let it be known that dad is a Cher fan, always bobbing about to "turn back time" in the palace of fire.

(Sorry dad had to let the cat out of the bag)

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A male reader, mephistophiles Holy See (Vatican City State) +, writes (1 June 2008):

mephistophiles agony auntAnon,

I would have to agree with aim, quote "the church always has a prejudiced answer for almost anything. And this is no exception. In a way, your husband's mind has already been brainwashed to be what they want him to be."

If you feel happy having relations with the entire Fifth Fleet, you go girl (just no Cher impersonations on the canons) . Who is the church or God to judge. I fully support you in all your endeavors. Get out there and live like a porn star.

Yours in fornication

Mephistopheles, aka Satan

P.S. If you are making videos, can we get a copy for the weekly video night we hold at 666 Bar and Grill?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008):

I think it's pretty obvious that your husband is having sex with his cousin.

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A female reader, duskyrowe United Kingdom +, writes (30 May 2008):

duskyrowe agony auntDarling are you fantasisng about this because your letter is UTTER TOSH!!!!!!! Sex should only be with your husband.

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A male reader, aim Philippines +, writes (30 May 2008):

aim agony auntI believe this kind of 'sexual fantasy' is called a "Cuckold".

Sure it is weird or 'bad' for some other people to judge, but i kind of know something (i googled it before) about this. The spouse who wants this kind of relationship gets somewhat satisfaction on the fact that other men or women WANTS their respective spouse; someone who is attracted to their spouse. Sometimes it would strengthen the couple's intimacy, and sometimes it would just destroy it.

Obviously, the church always has a prejudiced answer for almost anything. And this is no exception. In a way, your husband's mind has already been brainwashed to be what they want him to be. I guess this would not be a simple walk but, tell him to listen to YOU and not to what other people think because you are his wife not them!

Bottomline is, both of you enjoyed it, had a blast for that matter, and no one forced anyone to do anything! Both of you agreed to experiment on it and if he does not want to bring back those sailors then fine! Tell him that doesn't change anything between you and him.

Hope you the best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008):

what.........the...?

Ok i'm gonna say I believe this is real by first saying that it no matter how good it was or how much he liked it,you should never have done this it is against your marriage if you love someone you shouldn't be touching let alone sleeping with anyone else.

You need to end this. Talk to him.

Communicate with your husband.

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A female reader, LIERIN United States +, writes (30 May 2008):

LIERIN agony auntThis is Bull ...

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A female reader, Twirly United Kingdom +, writes (30 May 2008):

Twirly agony auntI was wondering if it was a real post as well!

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A male reader, JaimeB. Spain +, writes (30 May 2008):

JaimeB. agony auntjust take him and sit down next to him

explain everithing n if he loves you he will understand

the fact that your happy having sex with other sailors without your husband knowing it is really sad it means that u don't love him

i think that probably things between u 2 will never b the same again!

sorry.

~love from spain~

JaimeB.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008):

It sounds like a fantasy film, or a story from one of the lads magazines. If my husband brought someone home and wanted me to have sex with while he watched, i would kick his arse out of the house, and the manky person he had brought with him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008):

I have to agree with Danielpew, is this for real?

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (29 May 2008):

Danielepew agony auntIs this a real post?

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A female reader, Star_07 United States +, writes (29 May 2008):

Star_07 agony auntI just want to say that I am not here to judge you and your husbands decision to have this type of relationship although it does boggle my mind....

The thing is, things like this may be sexually exciting and maybe he was okay with this. Possibly the minister or his cousin caused him to question how this was impacting the you and the relationship. Although you say it was perfectly fine, it may not be fine.

Many people find that they dont want to share their wife/husband with another person and that sex is sacred or something you share only with your spouse. It is one thing to experiment in a marriage (although I would never consider having sex with another man) but it can eventually tear a marriage apart. What happens if you like one of these men? Fall in love with one of these men? Where would the marriage be then?

Maybe you shouldnt speak with a minister as they would preach about God and judge you. Perhaps you should seek couples counseling in your area to try to understand where to go from here.

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