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... Send *wirly a private message | | | *wirly's profile:Hi There,
I live in the North of England and am a 34 year old busy singleton! I am a bit of a nightowl and discovered this site by chance a year or so ago and have been popping in and out ever since, answering questions whenever I think I can help in some way!
Im pretty open minded, a big fan of Bob Dylan, Bill Hicks and Eddie Izzard which gives you an idea of my outlook on life!
Ive had my fair share of romance happiness and heartache and would love to be thinner but am pretty happy and grounded on the whole and hope to advise and help wherever I can.
Love Twirly xx |
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Time to end the fling with the married man?
Q. I have been involved with a married man for 2and a half months and things started off really well and he used to pay me so much attention but recently, things have just gone downhill he hardly calls or makes any effort to stay in touch. Although ...
A. 25 May 2008: Hey Sweetie,
I think you've answered your own question really, this man's not treating you well at all, and never will while he is married.
It sounds as though he has no intention of leaving his wife, so yes, it is time to end the fling, befor... (read in full...)
He's a millionaire but won't give me money for a deposit, how can I make him regret this?
Q. I am a 25 year old female who has been involved with a married man for 3 years. We have an okay relationship, I dont ask him for much or expect much from him at. I respect his private life, and know where not to cross the line. He is a millionaire, ...
A. 24 May 2008: Nobody should be obliged to lend you money, whoever they are to you!
If I were you Id find a single millionaire, that way you can marry him and have him and his money all to yourself!... (read in full...)
How do I stop focusing on the past and move on?
Q. All right guys, how do I stop focusing on the past and all the details of my last relationship/ ex-fiance and start moving on? When I agreed to marry him, I was convinced that he was the only person for me and that it was meant to be. How do I ...
A. 22 May 2008: Gosh, I know just how this feels, and it's not easy. It can take a long time to really get over someone, especially if you were engaged and if he let you down, which it sounds from your post like he has done.
I know it's a cliche but just giv... (read in full...)
How can I get closure from my Ex
Q. Me and my ex broke up 3 months ago. It's been hard for me. I still love him, have feelings for him, and I think about him constantly. I'm o.k. when I don't see him. We attend the same church. He stares at me constantly. He's 47 years old and just ...
A. 22 May 2008: Ahh poor you, that must be so hard! I agree with Emily, just try to ignore him, and if you get a chance to talk to him on the way in or out of church perhaps you could say 'hey, what's with the staring, stop it!' in a jokey way.
Failing that you... (read in full...)
Please take a minute to pray for me...
Q. My heart cant take much more! Well i've still been sticking it out with my boyfriend who is still talking and kissing his ex's behind, just so he can have a calm relationship with his kids. I need a prayer request please!!! I want to be strong eno...
A. 21 May 2008: Sending you lots and lots of love x x x... (read in full...)
Tell me everything I need to know (and already know) about married men who cheat?
Q. I'm married too...He's nearly 20 years older than me. We've been attracted to each other for months after we met professionally, but I didn't think it was anything more than flirting. I perceived him as someone who had set limits for himself and ...
A. 21 May 2008: Hi There,
I think you are right to have reservations and lucky to be having them now, before you cross the line with this man.
It sounds as though your instincts are warning you at the moment and I would advise follwing them, your gut instinc... (read in full...)
She is amazing but her past puts me off...
Q. Im in a relationship with someone. I love her. She is amazing. She is, ultimately, what I have ever desired about in a woman. Except, I fear she is a slut... Slept with about 20 people, one a couple weeks before me... A couple months before that ...
A. 21 May 2008: Im going to ignore the insulting references you make towards your girlfriend in you post and simply say that you need to forget about her past and concentrate on what you have now.
Your girlfriend is with you now, and you have no cause for conc... (read in full...)
I am so annoyed at myself for letting this person who I never invited into my life invade my life so much!
Q. Ok - I like to think of myself as a pretty mature and intelligent person, I have a repetoire of good coping strategies and a reasonable understanding of human behaviour and the types of things that motivate people to behave in certain ways, and ...
A. 21 May 2008: Hi Again,
You sound like a really nice lady and I suspect that your recent behaviour regarding the other woman is your way of coping with all of this.
If you can get past this phase without actually doing anything with the information you'... (read in full...)
I am so annoyed at myself for letting this person who I never invited into my life invade my life so much!
Q. Ok - I like to think of myself as a pretty mature and intelligent person, I have a repetoire of good coping strategies and a reasonable understanding of human behaviour and the types of things that motivate people to behave in certain ways, and ...
A. 21 May 2008: I think you have every right to feel the way you do towards the other woman, but it sounds to me as thought you are directing all the blame at her and none towards your husband.
You say also that she blamed you for getting in the way of her rela... (read in full...)
I know I'm going to be criticised for this, but please! I'm VERY concerned about this pregnancy because of the family history of VERY large babies! I'm terrified!
Q. I know people are prob going to criticise me for this post but here goes. I am pregnant with my first ever child but I am terrified and am even considering if to go through with the whole pregnancy. My husband family have a history of havin...
A. 20 May 2008: Goodness, I really wouldn't recommend tampering with anything to try and make the baby smaller, that sounds very dangerous.
Why don't you request a cesarian section or lots of drugs at the birth if you're worried about the pain.... (read in full...)
My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!
Q. Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...
A. 15 May 2008: Hi Sarcy,
Im so glad to hear you say that, Im going 'Yey' from here in Yorkkshire!
Try very hard not to answer the phone to him or respond to any of his texts. Let him leave messages and only responde if absolutley necessary.
Go... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's best friend is female and we don't get along.. help!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years, and we've lived together for 2. We met in college, and his best friend whom he spent almost every day in college with is a female. I was actually sort of friends with her at first, but as soon as him ...
A. 13 May 2008: Hey Sweetiem if the poster below really is your boyfriend's friends then you are better off without them both.
Leave to each other and move on, you deserve so much better!
I just hope he makes a new best friend further down the line so that the... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair which resulted in the other woman falling pregnant. The child is almost due, what is the best way to handle this?
Q. This is complex - and difficult to write about succinctly...I'll give it a go! My husband had a year long affair. He tells me he tried to "end it" many times prior to me finding out - but felt guilty and like he owed the OW something. To make mat...
A. 12 May 2008: Ooo Im really not sure either way but wanted to come on and say what an amazing lady you are, and how lucky your husband is.
I agree with rcn regarding the paternity test, and can't believe this woman initially offered to abort the child if your ... (read in full...)
What's a corsage, where would I get one, and how much?
Q. People suggested for prom a corsage. What is it? How much? Where from in uk?...
A. 12 May 2008: Ooo! I just realised you are a guy!
Sorry about that!
In that case just go with something pretty and likely to suit any colour dress if you're not sure what colour dress she will be wearing. Perhaps your Mum could advise?
I think she'll be ... (read in full...)
36 year-old woman sleeping in the same bed as her uncle?
Q. what do you think of a 36yo woman sleeping in the same bed with her uncle? yes she lied to me, she said she's living with her uncle in separate bedroom, but when i went to their apartment it was just a studio and they're sleeping together in one ...
A. 12 May 2008: It's definitely very odd.
It would be odd even if they weren't related, especially if it's not due to lack of finances.
It reminds me of that episode of Friends where Rachel's date is unusually close to his sister and she doesn't know wha... (read in full...)
What's a corsage, where would I get one, and how much?
Q. People suggested for prom a corsage. What is it? How much? Where from in uk?...
A. 12 May 2008: Sweetheart, you have been given some great answers here to your question, why don't you use your common sense regarding what colour corsage would suit your dress.
... (read in full...)
Unbearable truth....do I move on or wait for a cheater to reform?
Q. I am 38 and my ex gf is 23 going on 24. We had been together for over a year and a half. Chance meeting at a bar and I wasn't looking for someone this young. Firstly, she's geniunely naive, stupid and weak. I slept with her the first night. I had ...
A. 12 May 2008: She's a young girl in her early 20s and you're a 38 year old man. Those early 20s years are all about the dating and experimenting and fun which usually all calms down eventually.
I think you should leave this girl well alone. No-one deserves... (read in full...)
My lecturer's been with his wife for 15 yrs, I really like him, so I'm planning to act!
Q. The lecturer I fancy knows my name and i think he likes me. He's married but he's been with her for over 15 years (even though hes only 35, i'm 20) and has indicated to me he's a bit bored. He's so clever and interesting and i'm dying to spend time...
A. 12 May 2008: If you go ahead and make a move then he may well reciprocate but Im pretty sure he'll drop you like a hot potato afterwards.
It is very unlikely that this man will risk his marriage for you, whatever indications he may be giving you about being bo... (read in full...)
He told me the all the other girls he's had sex with, even with out a condom, never got pregnant
Q. Ok...so i'm 15 and my boyfriend is 14, we've known each other and been with each other for a long time...and my boyfriend isn't a virgin. He says he lost it when he was young and has had sex with other girls ever sence...but he wants to have sex ...
A. 12 May 2008: There's a really good saying which goes 'if in doubt, do nowt'.
It doesn't sound at all like you're ready for sex with this boy Sweetie, why don't you wait.
If he doesn't use condoms and hasn't got anyone pregnant yet he has been very lucky ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't want to have sex anymore, is it time to move on?
Q. I thought this was the perfect man for me. we were so in love when we got married. We made love several times a day. We loved to hang out together, talk for hours. We have not made love in a very long time.. almost a year. I constantly asked him ...
A. 11 May 2008: It sounds like you're at the end of your tether with this and I don't blame you.
All I can advise is to make one more really big attempt to let him know that he needs to sort this out or risk losing you.
If he refuses to talk about it then pe... (read in full...)
Why are westeners so prejudice, ignorant Bible lovers?
Q. I grew up in one of the biggest cities in North America. I’ve accepted baseball and McDonalds, but what I can't accept are there BS " morals ". Whenever it comes to love, sex or any other issue people turn to the book of lies, distortion and gene...
A. 11 May 2008: 'I don't believe that religions are religions, I believe that religions are philosophies, with some good ideas and a lot of bloody wierd ones'
(Eddie Izzard)... (read in full...)
She stole him from me and I don't plan on ever talking to her again. Am I over-reacting?
Q. Hey well ive been seeing this guy since august last year. and well basically my best friend has taken him of me. she liked some guy in her work he doesnt like her . She knows how much i like this guy and she pure hits on him and stuff infront of...
A. 11 May 2008: You're not over-reacting at all. I had a friend like this when I was your age and I never kept in touch with her after leaving A-level college. She went off with my boyfriend on New Years Eve would you believe!
She went on to have a pretty unh... (read in full...)
If female nudity was not commercially exploited, would there be more cheating?
Q. Here's one for the guys...and women if you want to comment too!.... If there were no such thing as media, porn, dirty magazines, playboy, Hooters restaurants, or any exploitation of sexual suggestion, etc., if strip clubs were never invented...
A. 11 May 2008: I dont think it would make a difference really, if people want to cheat they are going to cheat.
Im a bit confused about your last sentence though, as you seem to say that without all these things there would be more cheating, but then say ther... (read in full...)
My college debts are dragging me down
Q. Hi not really a love question but anyway here goes. Im 21 ill be 22 next month and im at uni. I have another year to go and am already in debt with fees and everything. My problem is im dying to go travelling and I feel like everyone my age is going ...
A. 11 May 2008: You're never too old Sweetie, I know it must feel crap at the moment but there are loads of options!
Firstly, you could find a summer job asap after this years ends, then use the money to go somewhere at the end of summer.
Second, you c... (read in full...)
A bad thing from my past has put me off sex
Q. I find it hard since a certain bad thing happend when I was a bit younger about 13.It made me look at sex differntly not for the good, so Ihave found it hard over the last past couplle of years to enjoy it and to just let my self go and relax.But I ...
A. 11 May 2008: Hi There,
Are you able to tell us a little bit more about what happened to you?
If not then I think a therapist would be a good idea Sweetie so you can talk through and deal with whatever it was that happened and move on.
Im happy to hea... (read in full...)
Will having sex with this woman make me stop yearning for her, alleviate this sexual frustration so I can focus on my marriage?...
Q. I'm getting concerned about my sexual feelings for my wife, as I've been strongly attracted to a very attractive and wholesome woman at work, and I came to learn she feels the same as me, and she is also married. There has been no sex between us a...
A. 11 May 2008: Hi There,
I think if you cross the line and have sex it will really change things but not necessarily for the good.
The probable outcome would be that you would either both feel guilty and awkward about it afterwards or you'd carry on into a ... (read in full...)
I think he does love me but he's never got time for me. Please help.
Q. We're working abroad and we are both married, he has a girlfriend but i couldn't help falling in love with him, he said he love me too. I really love him so much (well i'm just a human). My problem is i feel bored with our relationship because we d...
A. 10 May 2008: Ooo you say you are both married and he also has a girlfriend, and he is seeing you?
Is that quite right or did you mean you and he are married and he has a girlfriend?
Either way it's no wonder that he doesn't have time and it sounds like y... (read in full...)
6 months pregnant and separated from my partner, who initially wanted to break any contact! Now he seems to have changed his mind, his behaviour is confusing!
Q. hi, i'm new to this but need bit of advice. i'm 6 months pregnant and have split with my partner. he said he didn't want anything to do with me or the baby but has since seemed to have changed his mind.i've had to move out and go live with my ...
A. 10 May 2008: Hi There,
I really feel for you as I think your ex is being incredibly selfish and unfair bomnarding you like this, especially since you have asked him for some space following the first few texts from him.
He may be your baby's father bu... (read in full...)
Come on aunts and uncles stop dodging your resposibilities....
Q. I often hear the phrase 'it's not for me to judge'. If no one offers a judgement then how is right and wrong determined in society? Someone batters an old woman, 'it's not for me to judge'....Someone molests a child, 'it's not for me to judge'. Isn...
A. 9 May 2008: I agree with Isabella in wondering how your question applies to the answers you've found on this website.
I don't think this site can be described as non-judgemental at all! If anything the opposite is true!
In fact, some questions on her... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife because our sex life is virtually non existent?
Q. Hi i'm thinking of leaving my wife, i like her in many ways but our sex life is virtually non exsistance. I've met a wonderful woman aged 18 who is beautiful and works as a model. The sex is absolutely fantastic. Do think there is a chance for us, ...
A. 9 May 2008: Hi There,
I think emotionally you have already left your wife if you are sleeping with another woman.
The fair thing to do all round would be to leave your wife. You can worry about the age difference with your new lady later, right now you ne... (read in full...)
Invited to the reception but not the wedding. How rude.
Q. I got an invitation to my cousin's wedding reception, but not her to actual wedding. She didn't go to my wedding or reception last August. I don't want to go to her reception, she's a spoiled little snob, and she treats ppl. like crap. My mom got a ...
A. 8 May 2008: Hi There,
I totally know what you mean! Ive been in this situation before as my cousins are a lot like this!
I agree with the otehr posters who suggest sending a polite rsvp declining. Send it back, get a card to give to your Mum to take from... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair but seems to show little remorse!
Q. My husband had an affair but seems to show little remorse. He says according to Darwins theory he is just an alpha male and i should be glad to be with him, and he will continue to sleep with as many women as he can. I do love him but i find his ...
A. 8 May 2008: Wow!
I think you should say 'that's fine dear, sleep with as many women as you like, I'll have the divorce papers ready for you asap'.
What a jerk! I think you should leave him behind and move on, you deserve so much better!... (read in full...)
Romantic music for a wedding - ideas please.
Q. Hi, This is probably an unusual one! But I am looking for help in regards to picking out music for an upcoming wedding ceremony! I dont want anything too lonely as it will be lonely enough. But ideas of more romantic tone. The main one I am having ...
A. 8 May 2008: 'Feels Like Home' by Randy Newman is a great wedding song! There are loads of versions but my fave is the one by a lady called Chantal Kreviazuk.
You can find it on the soundtrack to Dawson's Creek or on the 'How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days' soundtra... (read in full...)
A husband's gripe...how can he talk with his wife without offending her?
Q. The family tells her they want a certain brand of food, but she buys bargain brands that don’t taste good, a taste that requires another to kill the awful taste. She goes and buys supplies for building plotted plants. The fertilizer is such tha...
A. 8 May 2008: Why is it that a man would put up with this?
Why is that people can forget that they are a whole person in charge of their own lives and not simply one half of a couple?
Why is it that people moan and yet do nothing to change the things they ... (read in full...)
How to get abs quick?
Q. i am 15 and have a gut. whats a good way to get sweet looking abs quick, not useing any equipment?...
A. 8 May 2008: Hi There!
Ooo you've inspired me to have a go at my abs too now Thankyou!
I did a kick boxing class a few years ago and we used to do this thing called 50-50-75 which was 50 crunches followed by 50 half sit ups and then 75 full sit ups!
... (read in full...)
We are having an affair, could he be really looking for love while being married...?
Q. I am a married woman, having a affair with a married man. We just kind of fell into it and were clear that we both wanted more than what a affair offers but willing to see where this goes. Neither of us I suppose are ready to call it quits in our ...
A. 8 May 2008: Hi There,
Yes, he could well be looking for love while married, but the chances of him finding it and it working out are a million to one while he is.
The same for you too Sweetie, it's so easy to get caught up in the excitment of it ... (read in full...)
How do I stop thinking about this married man?
Q. i need to stop thinking about the married man i have been seeing for the past 3 months. I'm going out of my mind ...
A. 8 May 2008: Hey There,
There's no easy answer to this Im afraid to say. My advice though would be to stop seeeing him as soon as you can manage to break it off, as the probable outcome will be that you break up somewhere down the line, and the further ... (read in full...)
Will he come back after walking out on me???
Q. Is it most likely for my ex boyfriend to come back wanting me after he walked out on me?...
A. 8 May 2008: It's really hard to say without knowing more details but from your brief question it sounds as though you are hoping that he may.
You may be feeling sad right now but the thing to consider is why you would want him back if he walked out. Like som... (read in full...)
My brother abused me, now I've pressed charges and it's tearing me and my family apart. Please help me deal with this misery!
Q. ok i really need some help here, so i need as many opinions as possable, whatever your veiw. ok, i was sexually, physically and mentally abused by my brother when i was about 9 years old and he was 15. my parents worked all the hours they could for ...
A. 7 May 2008: Hi There,
Ive popped back on to re-iterate that you did do the right thing in reporting your brother for abusing you as a child, and I hope that you're feeling better about it all since asking your question the other day.
Im sorry that the n... (read in full...)
Can anyone suggest any cool 'tag lines' I can call my own at school?
Q. Hey, well i am 18 years old..and i am in 12th grade studying in a school in the United Kingdom. I dont have a major problem, but there is something i want your help for. All my friends have their own line or something that they say all the time, so t...
A. 7 May 2008: I think you should be the one that doesn't have one!
Be individual! :o)... (read in full...)
My brother abused me, now I've pressed charges and it's tearing me and my family apart. Please help me deal with this misery!
Q. ok i really need some help here, so i need as many opinions as possable, whatever your veiw. ok, i was sexually, physically and mentally abused by my brother when i was about 9 years old and he was 15. my parents worked all the hours they could for ...
A. 4 May 2008: Guys, I really think you should take this argument off the board now and keep it between the two of you.
It's not fair to having a slanging match like this all over this lady's question, especially given the sensitive nature of the subject ... (read in full...)
My brother abused me, now I've pressed charges and it's tearing me and my family apart. Please help me deal with this misery!
Q. ok i really need some help here, so i need as many opinions as possable, whatever your veiw. ok, i was sexually, physically and mentally abused by my brother when i was about 9 years old and he was 15. my parents worked all the hours they could for ...
A. 2 May 2008: You did the right thing without a shadow of a doubt. He may be your brother but he was 15 at the time and old enough to know better.
Regarding your parents, they have obviously chose to try and deal with the situation by playing it down to ... (read in full...)
My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!
Q. Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...
A. 17 April 2008: Hey Sarcy,
I have been a reader of your story since you first posted your question and want to remind you that at the end of the day it boils down to 2 things:
1. He had an affair and left you for her.
2. He has a drinking problem which has ma... (read in full...)
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