New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244969 questions, 1084324 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I once suggested a threesome which we did,but how do I tell my bf it's now a turn off for me?

Tagged as: Friends, Sex, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 August 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 12 August 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My fantasy has always been to have a threesome with two guys. The thought of pleasuring 2 penises always turned me on. Well, my bf and I finally followed through with it with mutual friend. Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy it like I thought I would. Without an emotional connection, I couldn't enjoy the sex but I followed through because I had agreed to it and it was my idea to begin with. I just wanted guy #2 off me while he was doing it and I about gagged when he ejaculated on me. I felt like a slut to be honest.

The problem is my bf loved it and wants to make it a regular thing. I think I screwed up big time here. I want to go back to the way things were but fear I opened pandora's box. Am I risking losing him by pulling back now? Should I try it again with a different partner, like maybe an ex who I'm more comfortable with? I'm not sure what to do here, put my foot down or try to make this new scenario work somehow. Now I understand why people say threesomes are a bad idea.

I guess they sound better in theory than in practice. Any advice from people who have tried this will be welcome.

View related questions: ejaculate, threesome

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, RitzaD. United States +, writes (12 August 2008):

RitzaD. agony auntIt was all just couriosity to begin with right? So u tried it and didn't like it. The way ur boyfriend told u he loved it is the same way u can tell him u didn't. Simple as that.

Tell him ur fantasy wasn't what u thought it was. Instead of fullfilling urself it made u feel worse. U shouldn't be so hard on urself, and if u trust ur boyfriend, then im sure he'll understand. I doubt he'll make u go through with it again just because it was ur idea. Since it was ur idea, then u could throw ur idea out the window. =)

Don't try it again, especially not with an ex, just imagine all those mixed feelings going on inside that room.

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, Medic United States +, writes (12 August 2008):

Fantasies should be exactly that...a fantasy. When it becomes reality, it loses all the imagination and can really mess up a relationship. I would simply put my foot down and tell your bf that you didn't enjoy it and it makes you feel cheap. If he can't understand that then maybe you whouls move on to a more caring bf.

Medic

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (12 August 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi,

well just because you thought of it, doesnt mean you have to continue doing it. If it's not for you it's not for you - end of story.

As Tremor said, just tell your boyfriend what you have told us.

You decided to experiment and you didnt like it, if your boyfriend doesnt understand that then he isnt much of a boyfriend is he.

You should never ever feel any compulsion to do it again , the next time will be even worse .

Tell your boyfriend that it just didnt do it for you as you prefer him alone - if he cant take that big compliment then he isnt worthy of you.

good luck.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Tremor Australia +, writes (12 August 2008):

Tremor agony auntTell your lad what you have told us here, he will most likely understand. Just because it was your idea to have a threesome doesn't mean you can't back out - you tried it and didn't like it, and we all make mistakes. It will be easier to tell him after doing it once than it will be after doing it a few times, so do it sooner rather than later.

I am sure your boyfriend would not want to make you do anything you are uncomfortable with.

I'd say lay off the threesomes for a while, rather than changing partners. Involving an ex may well make your boyfriend uncomfortable, and /that/ could get even more sticky (pun not intended).

Good luck.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "I once suggested a threesome which we did,but how do I tell my bf it's now a turn off for me?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312698999987333!