A
female
age
30-35,
*stelinvalinor
writes:I'm an 18 year old girl who's dating a 20 year old boy, and for the sake of it, I'll call him "Joe". Joe and I have been dating for about a month, and both of us have had sex before, so it's not like a mammoth decision or anything. The problem is that when we first started dating we were talking about how we wanted to wait about a month, and right before that i got on my period, and when we fooled around he would tell me how much he wanted me. But now that I'm off my period, he's saying how much he doesnt want a kid, and that once again he should wait. I told him that I felt like he didn't want to have sex with me, and he didnt deny or affirm it, but instead just said "I don't want a kid". I want to use protection (condom) and I'm a month into the pill (the one I'm taking requires 2 months of taking before its 99.99999% reliable). He said he wants to wait till my pill is sure to work, but I'm afraid by that point he'll just say he wants to wait again...I really just don't know what to say to him to explain what i feel.. help!?
View related questions:
period, the pill Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (9 September 2007):
 The fear of having children. My ex-girlfriend and I, spur of the moment, had sex after our first date. 9 months later.... But I can look across my hall and see my beautiful daughter sleeping in her bed. After our first night we went and bought protection. A bit late, but having her has been a wonderful experience. Not the point, but wanted to tell the story.My son was born off a faulty diaphram, my nephew off the pill, one of my daughters, she was on the pill. I would double protect. When they say 99%, that's not accurate. My children and nephew were not reported to the pill supplier as part of their statistics. If he's really that serious about not having children, the best thing to do is use a condom.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): Hi,Me and my G/F went through a similar problem and it was because of me. i really love her and wanted a good sexual relationship with her but i was just really nervous. I built it up in my head which made it really difficult. I'm sure he doesn't want to dissapoint you. My advice would be to just reassure him, dont hype sex up to much because it will make him worse and put him under pressure. If that doesn't help try seducing the hell ot of him.Hope this helps!!
...............................
A
female
reader, LilWun23 +, writes (9 September 2007):
ok first off he is 20 which makes him a man and not a boy, secondly i truely do believe that he doesnt want a kid at this point in his life i honestly do think he is beign honest about his decisions and besides its also for ur own good and sake
...............................
A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (9 September 2007):
Well, he might really be freaking out about accidentally having a kid, and/or he could also be lying about having sex before and doesn't know what to do if you two actually do it. Perhaps he did have sex before and something horrible happened. Maybe he gets performance anxiety or it ends too quick. Maybe the last time he did it, he thought he got his girlfriend pregnant or maybe he did get her pregnant. You have to sit him down and ask what is really going on. Sounds like he wants to have sex with you, but is afraid.
...............................
|
