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My boyfriend is abusive and I have no family to turn to. I'm also pregnant. What can I do?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 September 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 September 2007)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

hello everyone,

i am hoping some one can help me

iam in a abusive relationship

he beats me bad and i love my boy friend

i am pregnant 6 months with hes child and i have a 2 year old also hes we have been together 5 years

no mater what he does he thinks sorry takes it away and make things better he really hurts me

i have no family and no friends no where to go

im so scared of him and have no clue in what to do

he verly feeds us as he spends all hes money to drugs

he says he wants help and is looking into it but if he leaves me i will have nothing and i cant just jump into another relationship

my heart is broken and im so lost in my life

what can i do ????????!!!!!

View related questions: drugs, money

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2007):

i felt sorda like you but after me leaving him he understood not to fight me any more and not only that im pregnant at the time i dont recall cheating on him but he says i did and feel like this child is not his but that has stopped physically now he sometime abuses me verbally i remind him of what words can do they can hurt you also he apologizes quickly because i walk off and dont say anything back if we argue i let him get upset with him self he catches on

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A female reader, athenasteph United States +, writes (9 September 2007):

athenasteph agony auntBless your heart. Call a church and ask for help,call several. Go to a womans abuse shelter they will help you.Please if not for yourself sdo it for the kids. Your kids will be lost in this world without their mother they need you to be alive and healthy so you can care for them and protect them as they grow up.please save yourself if not for yourself do it for the kids. call a crises hotline for abused woman in your area. My frioend had to go to one a couple times. They will meet you and take you somemwhere safe he will not be able to find you. They will help you get a new life houseing job etc. please dont give up your way to young .God will not let you down even if everyone else seems to

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (9 September 2007):

rcn agony auntYou need to get out of there, and don't wait. With him being on drugs, you may need to have the assistance of the authorities. I know that's hard, but some on drugs are really unstable with their behavior. Call your local police department and let them know you need to relocate to the "Safe House" Let them know your boyfriend is a drug user and may not be stable. Also let them know their is a child in the home and you are pregnant.

Seek counseling to help you with these issues too. There is a certain amount of damage you'll carry because of this. There are programs through your local family services department. They will assist you in gaining employment, housing through the housing authority, and they provide job training if needed. You having a child need to be safe for the benefit of not just you but your children.

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A male reader, somewhat_anonymous United States +, writes (9 September 2007):

You are going to have to leave him if this continues and he may have to leave to find help. A friend of mine has a heroin addict husband and found a place that will do 6 months of rehab. He lives there during that time (but friends and family can visit) and they also put him to work instead of asking for money. I don't know how many places are run like this, but you can look.

For you and your children there are also programs for battered women and children that you can look into. I'm sure there are quite a few programs that are similar if you don't think you fit the battered women category.

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