I'm having trouble coping with my boyfriend's past. He was involved with several of my friends!
Q. Hello! I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now and before this we were good friends for 6 years. I am having trouble over some things he did in his past and I have struggled with these throughout all of our relationship. These prob...
A. 24 January 2017: I honestly can never understand why people date or sleep with people in their 'friend circle'. My advice is to think this through and see if his actions are proving worthy to be a boyfriend. The past is the past. If you chose to date someone wit... (read in full...)
What's the purpose of relationships when all it does is give someone power to hurt you?
Q. Three years ago I was dating someone and it ended very horribly. She left me for another guy and it left me distressed beyond anything I had ever felt. I treated her with respect, listened to her when she spoke, and did what I thought was love her...
A. 24 January 2017: You are the sum of your choices. I dont want to put blame anywhere but take a deep breath and think this through. You chose these women--lesson learned here is to chose different women. Or the choice to be alone is yours to make as well. Why do ... (read in full...)
Is it degrading to let a guy ejaculate on you?
Q. When I was 15, my mother sat me down and had "the talk". She is very open and liberal, so we ended up talking about everything from sex and birth control to relationships and life in general. One of the things she was adamant about was that por...
A. 23 January 2017: Its really not that complicated. You like what you like, so who cares what other people think? Your mom prob feels differently but shes not you. Just keep your sex life to you and your lover and youre fine. What happens in the bedroom stays in the ... (read in full...)
She has helped me a lot through some difficult times. Would it be acceptable to send her flowers as a thank you?
Q. I have a female friend who I have known since I was 4, she is the same age as me and although we lost contact for a number of years. We are back in contact. Whenever I had problems she always knew what to say and since being back in touch she has...
A. 23 January 2017: It sounds like youre interested in her. Just ask her out! Sending flowers is already very romantic and she will assume you like her already. So instead of being so subtle, just ask her out. Her response will let you know how she feels for you. If ... (read in full...)
I like this guy I'm dating, but the sex is nice but not amazing. How do I discuss this with him?
Q. I have just started dating a truly lovely guy, he is adorable and I really enjoy spending time with him. The problem is, things aren't totally electric in the bedroom. I'm quite a sexual person and chemistry and sexual connection is really important ...
A. 23 January 2017: If you enjoy him out of the bedroom too, he is worth giving a few second chances. Sometimes men are clueless in bed, so speak up and def flirt and tell him how you like things. If he is going soft, maybe he is a bit nervous. Just continue to let him ... (read in full...)
How can an older woman feel sexy when their partner obesesses over girls 20 years younger?
Q. How does an older woman ever feel good enough or sexy enough especially when her partner is obsessed with watching women twenty years younger than her. I know the usual answer is to ' realise he is with you and if he wanted that he would have that ' ...
A. 23 January 2017: He's an absolute sleazebag. Many older men are married to women around the same age and they are extremely happy and still VERY attracted to these women. You can see it in the way they look at her, open door for her, or treat her. So your partner is ... (read in full...)
This bothers me a lot. What can I do? Married nearly 15 years and now my wife is no longer interested in Bjs.
Q. Been married for nearly 15 years. My wife has basically decided that she will no longer perform oral sex on me. It's not like I was getting once a week, in fact once every two years is more like the current rate. When we first married, it was some...
A. 19 January 2017: I agree with the ANON female 3.
I'm absolutely mind blown people are saying shes sticking up for herself. It's her choice of course and she shouldnt be forced into it but for her to say NO MORE to BJs-----theres something else going on and its ... (read in full...)
Retroactive jealousy on my part. Plus why would she go and look for another dom given everything that has happened?
Q. Hi Folks, First off, let me say hi as I am new here! Please excuse this long message but I need to try to explain my feelings and also explain some of what has been said. My problem is with retroactive jealousy over my girlfriends past. ...
A. 19 January 2017: Clearly you do not understand what being a 'sub' means. Let me explain. Subs will not tell you what they want, part of being a sub is that they identify with masochism. Very sexual sub females (or males) derive almost ALL of their pleasure f... (read in full...)
Logically I know it doesn't matter, but I am struggling with my Girlfriend's past!
Q. I know a lot of you are going to say this is just another guy with hang-ups and insecurities suffering from hypocritical retrospective jealousy – and to a certain extent you may be right – but I really am desperate to fix this (fix myself?), so ...
A. 17 January 2017: I'm going to say something different I think your fears are very real and valid. I think if she had been completely honest with you in the beginning instead of hiding it for 2 years and then revealing it later--your fears wouldnt have developed s... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of our anxieties and start to date?
Q. I really like this guy I met online. We have spoken a lot and he's asked to meet me. I am extremely shy and it (has) taken me a while to get comfortable with meeting new people. Sometimes it stops me meeting people because I get so worried about ...
A. 13 January 2017: AS someone with a lot of first date experience, honey, DO NOT MEET AT A STRANGER'S HOME. Everyone is a stranger til you meet them.
Meet at a public place. If you are shy, its okay to say your shy and openly admit you are new to this. Being vu... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 5 months constantly mentions how good looking he is
Q. Dear Cupid, I (25 years old) have recently started going out with a 26 year old guy. He is a gentleman, treats me well, but I've noticed one red flag (or at least, I think it is a red flag) about him. He constantly mentions how good looking he ...
A. 13 January 2017: He showers you with compliments and treats you well, but I think hes super insecure inside and boasts about his looks to see if you will compliment him. Hes seeking your approval-- he wants you to agree and stroke his ego. It sounds like hes doing ... (read in full...)
How should I act towards him for the best outcome?
Q. A while ago I kissed someone from work who I had liked for a while. He told me he had feelings for me and we began texting. -But then later said because his ex works at the same place nothing could happen. And then kissed a different co wor...
A. 9 January 2017: The lesson here is do not date your co-worker. Keep it professional at the workplace. ... (read in full...)
Don't want this to get out of hand. Should I let this messaging everyday friendship develop?
Q. Hello everyone. I'm a 19 year old female, looking for some wisdom, perhaps telling me what I instinctively know myself but I just need somebody else's perspective. I've recently gone to university and made a great male friend, and currently...
A. 9 January 2017: NO. Do not get involve with someone who does drugs and sleeps around. Stay friend and keep it platonic.
If I was 19 and going to school, that is the advice I didnt want to hear but NEEDED to hear. Good luck, stay in school, hang out with the righ... (read in full...)
I still think he cares. How can I convince him that I am fine? Or should I even try?
Q. I was in a five year relationship with a man I loved. He lived with me in my home and we did everything together. We saw a counselor together because we had broken up in the past. In one session the counselor made some comment about my memory ...
A. 9 January 2017: Sweetheart, I am sorry this happened to you. But if a man has decided to leave instead of chosing to love, give you compassion, and understanding---then he is not the right man for you.
If he was with you and loved you and knew you had some mem... (read in full...)
Do women dream about male virgins too?
Q. Dear female cupids Many men dream of making love to a virgin Girl and teach her all about sex. Do women dream about male virgins too? Personally I haven't had this Kind of desire, although i lost my own virginity to another virgin. My ...
A. 9 January 2017: Yes, and I have made love to two virgins. And it wasnt that great to be honest. I think its a fantasy to make a guy cum or to take him for first time and wow him...but the woman isnt satisfied usually with a virgin. My experience is that the best ... (read in full...)
We enjoy each other's company but nothing seems to be starting! Any advice, aunties?
Q. In April last year I met a guy at a local sports club I go to and over the course of the last few months we've built up a friendship and now regularly see each other outside our sports club. We're both single and in our 30s and at the start of las...
A. 9 January 2017: I agree with N91. If a guy is interested, you betcha he is asking you out and seeing how things go. He may be shy and eager in person as well.
After my dates, I usually know if a guy is interested or not. After not hearing about 4 days after a ... (read in full...)
I'm looking for feedback on my decision to break up with my boyfriend!
Q. Hello Everyone! I am truly at a crossroads in my life. I am 20, about to turn 21, graduating an entire year early from a pretty rigorous liberal arts college. Back in October I broke up with my 3-year, mainly long distance boyfriend, whom ...
A. 6 January 2017: Your question is up my alley, Ive been down that path. I think honestly only you can know if you did the right decision by breaking up with him but you miss him, you sound like you love him still but its long distance. How far away is he from you? ... (read in full...)
Is my jealousy justified?
Q. Hello aunts. I am writing this because I really need help with a recent situation that I am just not handling well. Thanks in advance. First, some background. I'm 30 and I met my current wife two years ago in a business dinner. We flirted a bit an...
A. 2 January 2017: Look, the real answer here is you chased the girl, you GOT her, she said yes and married you.
Everything else is irrelevant. If you see everyday that she loves YOU more and more, that is only proof that none of the other guys matter. They are... (read in full...)
Why has my Boyfriend changed his sexual style to a more conservative one, to the style he favoured previously? Could he be cheating?
Q. Hello friends. I have been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend. We have always had a good time experimenting with each other sexually. We have a good bond and have connected from the get go. And we have also had stellar chemistry and a gr...
A. 29 December 2016: Sounds like an amazing relationship. And he probably is stressed outside of the relationship, whether its work or family issues. It sounds like right there with you, he just wanted to be himself and not role play. He wanted to be made love to and ... (read in full...)
Messy situation with my housemate...we had sex and were almost a couple and now he doesn't want anything to do with me
Q. I need help! I've gotten myself into a really stupid situation with a guy and I have no idea how to behave with him! I moved into a new place around 7 months ago, sharing with three new housemates. I'd initially thought one of them (a guy) was...
A. 29 December 2016: I think you deserve some compassion but honestly sweetheart, Im going to give you some tough love. What the hell are you thinking will happen when you moved into a place and start sleeping with one of your housemates? You stated there was obviou... (read in full...)
Is AB more important to my Bf than he implies? I believe he loves me. But I only sharing him with AB?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years and some change. When I left for college he became really close with a female friend( I'll call her AB). I do know her but I don't know her that well because we were never friends we just all kno...
A. 29 December 2016: Why are you with him?
You are the girlfriend. You are the number one girl. If he doesnt make you feel that way--end it swiftly and gently. Any opposite sex friends immediately become secondary after your partner. I have many many guyfrien... (read in full...)
My marriage is emotionally unfulfilling and dead. Should I stay or leave?
Q. I'm in a marriage that could be described as comfortable . Both of us treat each other very nicely , the sex is good on a physical level ( although no emotional component really ) and we have built an good life together over twenty year . The ...
A. 29 December 2016: I fear the exact same situation you face as I get old. Thank you honestly, for being so open about what you are facing. But I will say, people are what they show themselves to be the first time. So many men crave emotional closeness and in... (read in full...)
I love her but don't know to what extent I love her
Q. I am facing a dilemma. Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend. I am inexperienced, and I need your opinion on what our relationship looks like to you, and what you think I should do. I also would like to hear what you think is important in a ...
A. 19 December 2016: Agree with N91. If you have to convince yourself to marry someone, please do them a favor and break it off. You should marry someone because no other girl comes close to who she is and what she gives you. You should marry someone for passion and for ... (read in full...)
How can I know if I'll be open to a boyfriend being sexually polygamous?
Q. I don't have a BF right now, and I have actually never had a boyfriend before. However, I realized that there are many men out there that cheat, not because they don't love their GF enough, (or so I think), but because they just love to have variety ...
A. 15 December 2016: WOW. Clapping after reading WiseOwl's post. He hit right on the nail! Please re-read that advice again and again.... (read in full...)
We've never met but after three months of chatting she says she loves me
Q. There is a woman whom I met online, who lives in another country. We communicated for quite a bit of time without meeting in person. After about 3 months of emailing, and one Skype call, she told me she loved me. She asked how I felt. I said I liked ...
A. 8 December 2016: Women are emotional. When i was 18 I talked to a guy online for about 8 months and confessed that I love him. We never met, not even skyped, just saw photos. But I thought of him everyday and actually thought he was my soulmate but that we somehow ... (read in full...)
Am I in love with a creep? Should I get out now?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over two years. We have travelled the world together and have always been very happy. We have spoken about getting engaged and where we will settle down to raise our family. He has always treated me with respect ...
A. 7 December 2016: No its not creepy at all. Hes in love with legs, so be it. Many men watch porn still even when they are still in relationships, your man's porn is legs so thats pretty much it. Theres not much to take from this except that he loves legs and it turns ... (read in full...)
How do I finally get over her?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts I am a 26 year old man. I got married at 19 a large part of that was because we got pregnant. She was my first girlfriend. We were together 1 day short of 7 years, married a bit more than 5 of those. About 18 months ago she left...
A. 30 November 2016: Its hard because she sounds like she was your first love and lover. Those are the hardest to forget, they are the ones that have a lasting impact on our love life and how we see love. I remember my first love like it was just yesterday. That said... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my husband's cousin
Q. My husband and I have been married for 6 months, but have been together for 9 years. Throughout our relationship my husband's cousin, we'll call him Tyler, has always been close with us. We have all always been great friends until he moved out of ...
A. 30 November 2016: Sometimes we develop feelings for people due to circumstances. He's leaving your place, he has a GF, there are many signs here that you should recognize your feelings is only a crush and not more than that. You have no place to tell him how you ... (read in full...)
I'm cheating but there's only one life
Q. I'm a guy who is happily married in a long term relationship. While sex can sometimes be an issue between us- she has a very low sex drive- and it's often a discussion/argument that we have, it's not so bad that I would consider ending the ...
A. 29 November 2016: So many darn stupid excuses !
Only one life---BULLSHIT! Only one life, so should we stop working, chuck it all, go live on a boat and sail out into the open sea.
Only one LIFE! So should we eat all most delicious food in the world regardless... (read in full...)
My head is turning! how do stop this?
Q. I have been in a relationship for over 3 years. Our relationship has always been a bit turbulent. We have had issues as all relationships will suffer through from time to time, but we have always stuck it out and gotten through. We lived toget...
A. 29 November 2016: No dont contact the german woman. There are so many red flags there, shes not in your country nor do you know if shes single. sure it was a fun night but leave it there. Plus youre taken. What if you break up with current gf to pursue this girl and ... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty that I seen someone else while we were broken up?
Q. I am currently in a loving relationship with someone who I've been with for 3 years and we are now talking about marriage. However, in that three years, we've broken up twice... once for 3 weeks the other for 3 months, both my choice because I...
A. 28 November 2016: No, you shouldnt feel guilt at all. And also you were open with current BF and he took you back, gear those energy into loving him and just appreciating him.
Whats in the past is in the past =)... (read in full...)
Why was he being so open if all he wanted from me was sex?
Q. Hi Everyone, I meet this guy online February 2016. We meet up in March. We both have 9yr old girls, have stuff in common. We hit it off staright away. We meet up every weekend...days out with our children. By April it got very intease, we were...
A. 28 November 2016: This hardly is a guy or female thing. We open up because were human. It sounds like he met you and there were so many things in common, he couldnt help but just express who he is. It sounds like he likes you but his heart is not entirely in it or ... (read in full...)
Truse issues, especially with older men. How can I find a healthy balance and deal effectively with this pressure?
Q. I'm starting to have trouble trusting men, especially older men. Being in a work environment where I am usually the only woman in the department, and a still semi-young one at that, I tend to get the attention from older colleagues. I'm sure mos...
A. 23 November 2016: I want to say this, for every creepy unethical man out there, there is a good ethical man out there. You do the math.
I wont discount that you are experiencing harassment and unwanted attention, but you shouldnt build a wall and form distrust... (read in full...)
Our online relationship ...
Q. I met this American guy online since August 2015 and we met in a famous dating site. Btw, I’m Asian and 23 years old and we are of the same age. First, it was just purely a friendly chat of random stuffs (we chat almost every day as long as we are ...
A. 21 November 2016: Ive seen many successful relationships between American men and women from overseas. If hes invested this much in you, Id say its pretty much a guarantee he wants you in his life. I have seen quite a few men fly over to Phillipines and then bring ... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time getting over her
Q. I've posted about this female in questions a few times before. Basically I'm having a really hard time getting over her and I'm questioning my sanity and what else I can do to get over how I'm feeling. To cut a long story short, a FWB that didn't ...
A. 21 November 2016: I've read alot of your post and you have great insights too N91. I remember a lovely article by you about the fact that not all love is here to stay but to teach us a lesson in life. I completely agree with that.
That being said, I wanna say, the... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's excuse made me feel belittled
Q. The other night my boyfriend and I had plans for dinner. We talked about it in the morning and he seemed super excited about it. Well later on in the morning his friends asked if he could do a boys night in which he responded with “I don’t feel like ...
A. 17 November 2016: Hes probably giving you shit about it to see how you would respond. You can serious and be hurt by it or you can smile and say 'Babe, you did the right thing. =P' or 'Pssst, those guys aint got nothing on me'. and laugh with him! and make him never ... (read in full...)
Do women like men with deep voices?
Q. This girl at work, she's a sweetheart, always looks so positive and full of energy. I've been feeling like she avoids me a lot, so one day I talked to her about it and though she was really friendly, she said that i was a bit intimidating, my voice ...
A. 16 November 2016: No its not intimidating but it can make girls take notice of the man and feel 'girly.' Much like I think some men prefer feminine voices...but deep doesnt necessarily mean its a pleasant voice. Its how pleasurable to our ear the deep voice is, that ... (read in full...)
Why have her habits towards me changed so drastically?
Q. I will try and make this as short and sweet as I can. First off I just want to say that in the last couple of months I have become a very anxious person towards the woman i become enveloped with. Just 6 months ago i could care less about if a wom...
A. 15 November 2016: I think youre following the dating 'rules' a little closely. I have heard of people who follow rules...then met the love of their life and everything went out the window. Everything they knew about waiting 3 days before texting or waiting a few ... (read in full...)
Six years and no proposal; we've lived together for two. Is he stringing me along?
Q. I love my partner of 6 years. A few years into the relationship he suggested we bought a house together (at the time he had just finished his service in the military, and I was finishing University - he had saved up a house deposit during his time ...
A. 14 November 2016: Why did you move in with him w/ no marriage on table? I agree with Brownwolf, only YOU are stringing yourself along. Even if he loved you, hes not full-filling your needs. And you being quiet all this time, says something about who you are. Its been ... (read in full...)
How to avoid being tempted?
Q. Hello, Here is an interesting one for you. I am married (with kids). My wife is very beautiful (former Miss), we have great sex - I can get it on demand, whatever I want, I think I love her, surely I wouldn't want to hurt her. Yet, I can't sto...
A. 14 November 2016: I didnt want to say anything because I WiseOwl and Brownwolf said it all and everyone else had a good input. But I think youre wife is giving it to you too good and shes allowing you to have it all time. Time for her to pull back and have you work a ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a massive jerk who doesn’t care?
Q. My boyfriend doesn't seem to care about me or get upset when genuinely bad things happen to me. I've had a massive argument with him today and I'm wondering if it's because he's a total jerk or do most people get this way when they can't handle a ...
A. 14 November 2016: Rape is a serious issue, but if it went to trial and if you won, had support, had your boyfriend's support, family's support and went to therapy and feel like youre over it, then I have to ask you why you have to bring it up? It is a sensitive issue ... (read in full...)
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