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*inginbluebird

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Want to help people and enjoy it. Stay safe and make sure, true love is self love first.

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Is my boyfriend a massive jerk who doesn’t care?

Q.   My boyfriend doesn't seem to care about me or get upset when genuinely bad things happen to me. I've had a massive argument with him today and I'm wondering if it's because he's a total jerk or do most people get this way when they can't handle a ...

A.   14 November 2016: Rape is a serious issue, but if it went to trial and if you won, had support, had your boyfriend's support, family's support and went to therapy and feel like youre over it, then I have to ask you why you have to bring it up? It is a sensitive issue ... (read in full...)

Will watching X-rated movies affect my married life?

Q.   hey I am indulged in bad sex activities like watching X movies and doing all that stuff …… I want to know will it affect my married life if I continue to do so. please help me...

A.   14 November 2016: YES it will ruin your marriage if youre addicted and use it replace your wife/sex. But if you are only viewing it with her and as a source of fun/pleasure, then it wouldnt ruin it. Many couples enjoy watching porn together and that is healthy. But ... (read in full...)

Why does he never offer to pay for the hotel?

Q.   I travel quite a lot and 3-4 times a year I fly through one country where I met a guy who I really like. Sometimes it's a lay over, sometimes it's a couple days stay. We always meet and it's usually just amazing. Sex is amazing and I really enj...

A.   10 November 2016: Why buy cow when you can get the milk for free? Essentially youve been offering and just paying so hes going along with it. Hes an active participant but he also orders food. AND on top of that, he prob assumes you want this as much as he does so ... (read in full...)

Does he have too much baggage?

Q.   I'm dating a guy that is a 100% gentleman, is God-fearing, has a great job, is goal-driven and has committed to being celibate with me..But, he is divorced (for 5 years now), and has two children (10 years old and 7 years old). He's 33, so I can ...

A.   10 November 2016: LOL did you just his 'kids' baggage? If Im a divorced mother, with 2 kids, great job, great personality and a man Im dating who is single with no kids ...called my kids 'baggage'---Id kick him to the curb so fast he didnt see it coming =) I ... (read in full...)

My heart belongs to another and I want out of my marriage but I won't be able to support myself/kids

Q.   I am married and have been for 10 years. I have three beautiful children that I love more than anything. I stay home to care for them, as one of them is too young for school. Here is my dilemma. I am not in love with my husband. I haven't been for ...

A.   10 November 2016: I think there is something to take away from Fatherly Advice's advice. You say you have nothing in common with your husband and all you do is argue, but I dont see that he is abusing you or neglecting his family (he is providing money and weal... (read in full...)

Why isnt he replying the date is 3 days away

Q.   I have arranged a date with a man i know ( we dont see each other out its more of a facebook friendship ) the date is set for this weekend . I have messaged him to confirm times and place to meet but he hasnt replied for a week ! why would someone ...

A.   9 November 2016: No reply in 3 days? Its easy as cake. Cut your losses and move on. No pain no gain.... (read in full...)

Does my girlfriend take any responsibility in our relationship?

Q.   Hey dearcupid readers, Just wanted some thoughts on this. I'm a guy and I've been with my girlfriend for almost three years; we are still at university but living together off campus. I love her dearly but recently something that has been going o...

A.   8 November 2016: This questions made me cringe. Shes not at all traditional, shes just immature and spoiled. I think by everything youve told us, you seem like a great sweet loving GIVING boyfriend, but youve ENABLED all her bad behavior. You allow her to take and ... (read in full...)

How can I stop beating myself up for making same mistake twice?

Q.   I recently was dating an awesome person and long story short, I wrecked my chances with them and turned them off completely. It's unfixable, trust me. If this mistake was something I had never learned about before, I'd just say "I just didn't know...

A.   8 November 2016: I'd suggest explaining that mistake so we can help you thru that process but if its something embarrassing, i understand your need to keep it private. That said, what youre experiencing is part of dating. Everyone makes mistakes. It makes us... (read in full...)

How can I ever trust my husband?

Q.   Hello about 2 weeks ago I wrote about my husband going away for training and me not being able to trust him. For reasons like him texting a escort. But when he came home I felt I should let go and maybe try to trust him. But then 2 days later I ...

A.   7 November 2016: You need boundaries hun. IDK how long youve been enabling his cheating and complete lack of respect for you but it sounds like its been going on for way too long. You cant change overnight thats for sure. You need help and self esteem and much much ... (read in full...)

If a man's intentions are sex, will holding off make him like you more?

Q.   I had read an article on the Evan Marc Katz website and it mentioned that holding off on sex weeds out the guys who are only interested in getting into your pants and not really wanting to get to know you/don't like you. I also heard from a dif...

A.   7 November 2016: It all comes down to who you are as a woman. Some men fall for women who make them wait, some men fall for women who have sex with them on the first date. it all came down to her attitude and who she was. If she was fun, amazing, interesting for ... (read in full...)

I have a girlfriend but there is sexual tension with a friend. What should I do?

Q.   I'm currently in a happy relationship of almost two years, I love my girlfriend and we rarely argue but over the last month or two I've started to get feelings for my best friend. We briefly had a thing about 4 years ago but nothing came of it and ...

A.   7 November 2016: Sexual tension can exist anywhere and with anyone tbh. Its the person who is with you at your side though, that matters more. I have had sexual tension with men passing by me or at work or even at gym, didnt mean I wanted to explore it. I think you ... (read in full...)

How do I turn this FWB relationship into something more?

Q.   I am in a friends with benefit with a girl I has known since I was 15. We are both now 25. We used to be just good friends but the sex started about 2 years ago. It is a bit of an unusual FWB relationship because she stated that in beginning that ...

A.   7 November 2016: There are so many red flags here I dont know where to begin. She is sleeping with two men. She is talking to you alot about her feelings, which is a bigger friend-zoned thing than you realize. She also took your virginity. Have you been dating a... (read in full...)

The man I'm dating keeps asking for sex

Q.   Hello. Looking for some advice. I have been single for 17 years and dating the last eight years. Have had a few relationships that lasted six months. I have had a lot of bad luck in relationships. Seems like men don't want a serious relationship. ...

A.   3 November 2016: He's absolutely disrespectful. He doesnt care for your boundaries and on top of that, he sounds like an old geezer that believes if youre a mature woman who is NOT a virgin, you will be an easy lay or sexually okay with moving fast. Id get rid of ... (read in full...)

How do I stay optimistic?

Q.   It is coming up on two years since my heart was broken. In that time, I've gone on... Maybe 30 dates? I am actively using dating sites, trying to meet people in person, trying to improve myself... In short, I think I'm doing everything right...

A.   3 November 2016: Remove him entirely from your life---no stalking him on social media or keeping in touch. And 30 dates in 2 years ? Sweetheart I really suggest scheduling couple dates a week (an hour for coffee with a new person) and do it weekly. Get to know ... (read in full...)

Should I ask him the questions I have and perhaps finally get closure?

Q.   I would like to seek an advice about an incident that happened way back 1990 when I was 19 yrs old. At age 15, I never had any boyfriend because my parents were very strict especially my father. I am not much exposed to society reason my parent...

A.   3 November 2016: I'm truly sorry you went through all this--for enduring what what the priest did (by essentially taking advantage of you) and your mother for cursing and punishing you. I honestly feel though--- that it doesnt matter why he did it--why he kisse... (read in full...)

How do I move on from these feelings I have for my brother in law?

Q.   Hey, I'm 20 years old and have a sister that is nine years older than me. We both have the same mother but different father's. We didn't really grow up together because my mother had her so young so essentially she was raised by my grandma. We've ...

A.   2 November 2016: Sweetheart, hes a complete jerk. I feel like youre incredibly sweet however, but hes made every move to be with your sister. He ASKED her out, proceeded to date her, and then marry her and now they have a child. What more is there to tell you? ... (read in full...)

If you find yourself having messed up badly, how can you stop beating yourself up? and will God or the universe send the right person(s) your way without you being prepared?

Q.   I met a great guy over a month or so ago and I blew it from the very beginning. I made a mistake by not respecting myself enough and made myself look like a low-value woman in his eyes by my actions and choices. I guess I didn't even realize my ...

A.   2 November 2016: I agree with the aunts and uncles on here. Its not the end of the world and just focus on being a good person here on out. But I will say this, I have been in your situation but it wasnt that didnt value myself or made myself a low-value woman, I ... (read in full...)

I may have lost the love of my life and perfect girl to commitment phobia! Now that I want her back, she's completely blanked me out!

Q.   I think Ive ruined things with the love of my life Ive been with my girl 8 years since school she's absolutely stunning that's why I fancied her initially I just wanted to have sex with her but we were 16 she ended up making me wait 8 months a...

A.   1 November 2016: I have to be honest. You fucked up. Now its time to win her over. Dont be a pussy and write her a letter or all that jazz. Have you seen romantic movies? Make something of it. Show up at her work, approach her, BE SINCERE and say everything u... (read in full...)

Alone and lonely on Halloween. I missed my chance of marriage and kids and now feel that I don't fit!

Q.   This isn't about romance, but it does pertain to relationships. Maybe no one has the answers, but I feel so sad. Today is Halloween and I used to love Halloween, but I'm depressed. I feel left out. If you're an adult who is single, no kids, ...

A.   1 November 2016: Hugs. I'm so sorry youre crying. You didnt miss your chance though sweetie, you can still get out there and have what you want. People live longer now, marry older, and you can still be an amazing mom in your 30s to 40s. Dont give up. Smile b... (read in full...)

Can you ruin chances with Mr. Right due to dating inexperience?

Q.   I guess you can say that I am not a dating expert at all, so I've had my fair share of unsuccessful dates. I'm in my early 20s and started dating around 19. I recently picked up a few books on dating and read all the tips and do's/don't of dating. ...

A.   27 October 2016: Yes, you can! Mr. Right can walk right past you when you have no dating experience. But youre in luck, you caught on early,and youre self reflective enough to know you need help. I dont agree with Honeypie on this one! PICK UP THE BOOKS! Read! Read! ... (read in full...)

Does anyone have any experience of feeling "numb" after a relationship?

Q.   About 2 weeks ago my boyfriend dumped me. We had been together one year and friends for 3. Everything was great in our relationship, we had lots in common and planned to spend the rest of our lives with each other. 2 weeks before we broke up we st...

A.   27 October 2016: People only miss an ex if the good outweighed the bad. You stated everything was great but I dont think so because he just dumped you! Sweetheart, your insecurity drove him away. Listen to him when he tells you hes tired of it. Tired of being ... (read in full...)

Long distance relationship problems - is she as committed as I am?

Q.   So i'm in a long distance relationships (different countries). To give some background info, we met while we were both living abroad and were together for about 4 months there before we returned to our own countries, and stayed together ...

A.   25 October 2016: People have different communicating styles. I wonder why youve committed yourself to a long distance girlfriend while youre young and in your prime. I, for one, cant survive any long distance relationship because I dont call, answer texts, or use my ... (read in full...)

I don’t feel romantic love for him any longer but he doesn’t seem to listen to the potential for a great friendship. What do I do?

Q.   A month or so ago I wrote about having a great connection with a man who was 57 and older than me. I thank all the aunts and uncles again for all the wonderful advice. I sat back and thought everything through and I got to know him better. ...

A.   20 October 2016: I think I remember your question. And since youve taken our advice and have felt yourself falling out of love and into friendship with him only,listen to your feelings and your heart and your needs. He sounds like hes so much older and doesnt u... (read in full...)

Where to now? Is my married loved a narcissist? I feel I can no longer trust him

Q.   I had a year long affair with a married man. I am his tennant in the house that he rents out. He left his wife just before Christmas and came to live with me and my kids in the house. During our affair we had a secret bank accounts, and phone nu...

A.   19 October 2016: Before you go around accusing other people of narcissism, please also examine your own actions. Why are you cheating with this man? He is married, even if there is no significant other in your life, you are dating a man who has vowed to be with his ... (read in full...)

I saw her first!

Q.   I'm so pathetic. Here's why. No better place to begin from, well, the beginning, so I'll start there. I've lived in the same town all my life. For the sake of anonymity, we'll call it Hopetown. (Try and stalk me if you want to, that's not the real...

A.   17 October 2016: You saw her first but you didnt pursue her and make her your gf first. Sweetheart, shes taken. Also youre incredibly young. Her reaction says it all, she pulled away and then took her boyfriend's call while you were there and then proceeded to flirt ... (read in full...)

Is there a way I can make him see me for my other qualities and not as a nagging crying type?

Q.   It will soon have been a year since I met my boyfriend and almost a year since we started dating. We have our differences of course, like any other people, and it can lead to arguments at times. But generally I'm very happy with him. We're having a...

A.   17 October 2016: Hes not going to change. I can say chill out and relax, laugh a little and have a good time but Im not sure if thats advice youre seeking. Look honey, men are men. Women are women, there are differences and they make us stronger and more unified ... (read in full...)

Is he meant for the single life? Where do I stand in his scheme of things?

Q.   Hey guys, Long time read, and this is the first time I've needed to ask for advice in a very long time. I was having a pretty good run! I'm not quite sure how to word this properly so bare with me. My partner and I have been together coming ...

A.   17 October 2016: Those are relatively very easily fixable differences, if he wants to pursue his passion, support him all the way. The struggles he faces in life will be his own but let your men be the man. He will face the consequences or successes on his own, he ... (read in full...)

Can I ever regain my trust in men?

Q.   I had been in a relationship for 8 years with my now ex. We were supposed to be getting married and so I guess the guilt got to him. He admitted sleeping with 3 other woman. The last one was two years ago when he was 22 and the first was when h...

A.   17 October 2016: My advice is what would you say to a guy who had same thing happen to him and he asked that very same questions you just asked us? I am assuming your answer would be not every girl is the same, there are absolutely amazing people out there who ... (read in full...)

I'm having second thought about marriage

Q.   My boyfriend has proposed to me, and even though I said yes, I'm now not sure whether I did the right thing. Last year my boyfriend admitted to sleeping with 3 other girls in the first year of our relationship. He told me that he wanted me to know ...

A.   13 October 2016: Im glad he confessed, but trust your guts. Major red flags from your post: His friends ask if you made the right decision (they know him better than you do) He had sex with 3 other woman when dating you. NOT 1 woman but 3. He made conscious d... (read in full...)

I'm worried he'll disappear when he finds out I'm a virgin!

Q.   I've met the guy and things are going well. We've been on dates and get on really well and I feel comfortable with him. However, recently he's asked me to stay over at his and I'm sorta afraid too :/ This is because I feel he will want to h...

A.   13 October 2016: Its not being a virgin that will turn people off but YOUR attitude and outlook surrounding sex. Yes you can be virgin and still be sexy, vulnerable, and honest. But this is your body and its absolutely your decision to decide when you lose your ... (read in full...)

My Girlfriend Turned Rude and Immoral, Should I Dump Her?

Q.   When we started going out I thought she was a nice girl, she has loads of friends, is liberal, goes to rights protests and that sort of thing. Was also very happy and smiley. However I'm repulsed by her recently. For example she grew up in a bet...

A.   12 October 2016: She sounds absolutely awful! I second Ciar and say yes leave her! My sister had an old co-worker who take pics of random people behind their back and send it to her friends so they can make fun of people. It was gross, immoral, and complete... (read in full...)

Why do older women like me so much?

Q.   It's flattering, I have no problem being with an older woman if I like her, but they are unavailable. A woman I've known for a few years now, Caucasian, 36 years old, and she has had the same boyfriend since before we even met. She's always bee...

A.   12 October 2016: It sounds like you have something these women really admire. Maybe your laid back attitude attracts them and they find you physically attractive. Also older women are known for being more upfront about what they like and want so they may be trying ... (read in full...)

Worried why he won't make the effort to bridge the distance

Q.   Hello there, I'm quite troubled about my LDR boyfriend's behaviour. I'll try to make this brief: 1. I'm currently in China and he's in France. He's 24, just graduated with a MA in IT and unemployed at the moment. I'm in my last year of u...

A.   12 October 2016: Men do what they want. He sounds like just does enough to get by so that you will still be his GF but not anymore than that. And yes some people do not text/message often. I am one of those person, hence why I will not survive a long distance ... (read in full...)

She broke off her engagement for me and its freaking me out

Q.   So I need opinions. I was seeing this girl for a while last year. She seemed super into me and I liked her a lot but I just wasn't ready or looking for a relationahip at the time. I'd just gotten out of a three year relationship and just wasn't ...

A.   11 October 2016: No, dont get with her. I dont think you like her much by your post. You stated you just got out of a long-term relationship and didnt want anything serious with her. She got back with her ex because you broke things off and its better to feel wanted ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to use a prostitute to gain experience?

Q.   I am a male virgin who has never kissed a girl or been on a date. I've made up my mind recently on how I will be losing my virginity. I am currently saving up money to visit one of the legal brothels in Nevada. I feel like at my age, being a kis...

A.   11 October 2016: Its not wrong at all. But I dont think you should do this out of desperation. Sounds like even if you had sex, youre self esteem and self worth is still very low. You need to work on self love and gaining some sense of confidence and. A man's worth ... (read in full...)

Can I ask my fast food fancy out?

Q.   Is it unorthodox to ask cashier out? I frequent my favorite fast food restaurant once a week which I know isn't a healthy lifestyle. About the past few months or so, a new miss around my age has been working the drive-thru. Granted, it's usually hit ...

A.   11 October 2016: Yes, theres nothing to lose. Just go for it. Ive done work where I was girl at the front at a restaurant and sometimes we get cute customers. Id be flattered/floored if the cute guy I saw couple of times came up and ask for my number. Absolutely ... (read in full...)

How do you end a FWB relationship with someone that you don't want to hurt?

Q.   I need help telling my long friend with benefits that I don't want the benefits. Backstory, we've been friends for 10 years, we dated for 3, I broke up with them last year but we remained roommates and it transformed into FWB. I have had my bout...

A.   10 October 2016: You have two great answers from two uncles on here. Just take it from them =)... (read in full...)

I'm dating a girl but slept with another girl. Should I feel guilty?

Q.   I've recently been dating this girl and things have gone well we've gone out about four times and we kissed for the first time yesterday. After she went I was going on a night out with my friends and friends of theirs. long story short I slept wi...

A.   10 October 2016: No you dont have to tell the girl youre dating that you slept with someone else. Youve just started dating her, you dont owe her anything. Its 4 dates and just a kiss on the lips. Im a firm believer that you should date at least a year before even ... (read in full...)

How can keep him interested in me and not compare me to the others he was with ?

Q.   I've been dating my bf for 5 months. He is 19 and I'm 16. I'm still a button and he has been really patient with me. He isn't a virgin, he's the total opposite. He has had sex with 11 different girls, 3 of those girls would hook ups at parties. He ...

A.   10 October 2016: Youre just too young. I think you should consider only dating him as platonic-ly as possible is or break up and just focus on school. Dont feel pressure into having sex, he sounds like a good guy for stopping but men who has had sex knows it... (read in full...)

I love him, so why am I so mean??

Q.   So I've been with my boyfriend for a little while now. We were friends beforehand, but things changed and now, I'm very happy with him. We share everything, and I'm not afraid to tell him how I really feel, which is certainly new of a relationship ...

A.   10 October 2016: Your age has a lot to do with it. I was sarcastic and mean for a bit into my late teens however. After a lost love, the passing of my mother, adopting kittens, having friends after friends, adventures and travels, my heart has opened up and I am so ... (read in full...)

Help me move on from my ex! Or does he still love me? HELP

Q.   I have dated a lot in my lifetime, but I was in love only once...and I blew it. I'm writing today to get help, perspective, and advice on how to move on. What you need to know is that my parents divorced after 20 years, I have been so scared o...

A.   10 October 2016: Honey, HE'S MARRIED. Move on You cant rethink these things. I wonder why you broke it off and then proceeded to talk to him for YEARS and never wanted more. And now that hes married, you are crying your eyes out. Im reading your post and just sh... (read in full...)

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