Help me move on from my ex! Or does he still love me? HELP
Q. I have dated a lot in my lifetime, but I was in love only once...and I blew it. I'm writing today to get help, perspective, and advice on how to move on. What you need to know is that my parents divorced after 20 years, I have been so scared o...
A. 10 October 2016: Honey, HE'S MARRIED. Move on You cant rethink these things. I wonder why you broke it off and then proceeded to talk to him for YEARS and never wanted more. And now that hes married, you are crying your eyes out. Im reading your post and just sh... (read in full...)
Fear of commitment is holding me back
Q. So I have a problem. I have a significant fear of commitment. I suppose that's the only way to describe it. And I don't know how to change it. I'm in my early 30's and I've been this way for as long as I can remember. I'm gay, for the record. ...
A. 6 October 2016: HOW to do this is to seek therapy and some outside help of some sort. I'm a straight female and I get how you feel when you feel tied up to someone who may be potentially boring or too available, I feel those same feelings before and with many ma... (read in full...)
Criticized, humiliated and not loved and not appreciated. What do I need to do to get over this loveless marriage? I've put on weight and eventually my health will be affected.
Q. I know I should be thankful for my marriage, home and trying to build up to a good life. But I have just woken up this morning and feel like maybe my marriage is just too hard to keep going. Mainly because our communication is terrible. I had ...
A. 3 October 2016: Ive given you a lot of advice on here along with many other aunts and uncles on this site and I dont think you care about anyone's answer. I will say this though, you have extremely low self esteem. You need help. Your marriage will continue to ... (read in full...)
Is it worth calling her up after 3 years? Or should I just let it go?
Q. 3 years ago I met a beautiful and smart girl at comic con and we hit it off right away. She was 19 and even though we lived 80 miles from each other, we made it work and saw each other every weekend. We got into a relationship and everythi...
A. 3 October 2016: No move on, even if you love her the distance thing will NEVER work. Esp since she shows you shes very passive aggressive, long distance can only work between two VERY active and direct partners.
Work on yourself, date and try to seek out girl... (read in full...)
How do I respond to my wife now I know about the affair she had with my (then) best friend behind my back?
Q. I just found out that my wife had a sexual relationship with my best friend and the best man at my wedding. This happened 26 years ago! We had been dating exclusively for 4 months at the time. Even though it was so long ago, I feel like it could've...
A. 3 October 2016: Id be so crush. I read your post and it was painful, I can feel all heartache in every sentence. I'm so sorry The only thing I can say is that you were betrayed, yes but its important for you to see your life in other ways. I dont think its wise t... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting to their friendship?
Q. Hi, I'm looking for some advice regarding a guy. I'm seeing this guy for 6 months now. We both are in our early 40's, and it's going well, he's honest, tansparent. However, I'm struggling with a few things, and I'm wondering am I over reacting...
A. 3 October 2016: I think you should discuss a little more about your relationship with him, are you guys open and connected to each other? Is he seeing YOU more or the other friend? Is he making you feel loved and wanted? Is he contacting you often and hoping to see ... (read in full...)
Do I back off and hope he'll approach me? Or do I make a move and tell him how I feel? Eight year age difference.
Q. I have posted about this before so some of you may be familiar with my story. Just need a bit more advice. I met a guy, he is a PT at my gym. Cutting a long story short. There seems to be an attraction due to the way he looked at me. I did not li...
A. 29 September 2016: Let him pursue you. Age doesnt matter in some sense but if you both are equals in attraction, personality, wealth and etc, you shouldnt worry about age. However, sometimes men use older women solely for sex and not something serious. To wean these ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but am concerned that love isn't enough
Q. I have been in a relationship for just over a year with my boyfriend - I'm 25 and he is 23. He is an amazing boyfriend, he is my rock and my best friend. He got me through a tough time and is totally supportive of me, we rarely ever argue. My family ...
A. 29 September 2016: NO, sometimes love isnt enough. I feel like your frustration here is valid, please listen to your gut and feelings and your heart and your mind to make a clear decision. Go quiet and listen to your needs and who you are. I think you love him but ... (read in full...)
Will I ever love someone the way I loved my ex?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend years ago but I thought about him a lot and he's only just got a new girlfriend after 4 years. My question is is it possible that I won't love any one as much as I did him? As this ever happened to anyone else tha...
A. 28 September 2016: Why did you break up with him?
Whatever the reason, he has moved on and you should too. IN that 4 years I wonder why you didnt contact him but now thats its been 4 years and he FINALLY got a gf, you seem to lament having lost him.
HOney w... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my anxiety around women?
Q. I suffer from anxiety near women. I try to avoid women as best I can in social settings. Not in a malicious way but nervously. I had some bad experiences growing up and it's made me wary around women. Growing up girls were particularly mea...
A. 28 September 2016: This is extreme avoidance. I usually say get out there and be social but this is a case where you need therapy. A woman sitting next to you shouldnt warrant such shyness, I really think you should seek professional help then go from there. Just... (read in full...)
Struggling with my sexuality because of bad experiences with women
Q. I know what the problem is, I just don't know how to fix it. Growing up, every experience I've ever had with women was bad, including my own psycho mother. A part from just being friends, women left a really bad taste in my mouth. Sometime ...
A. 26 September 2016: You're a gay man. Accept it. I can tell you DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH WOMEN sexually or intimately but that you want to be accepted by them. You want to be accepted as a gay man, as who you are, as you are meant to be, as a son, a brother, a frien... (read in full...)
I am never going to feel better until I perform better sexually then her ex
Q. Ok readers please help. Please be honest and blatantly straightforward. I am so tired of reading the answers that men want or NEED to hear as opposed to the real truth. Experienced women can surely help me out here. Ok, I'm a nice looking 38 year ...
A. 24 September 2016: Put your ego away. Just focus on having fun and having the most amazing sex. For most women it's not about the orgasm but how much fun we have during sex. Few women orgasm during intercourse, they need foreplay, attraction, clitoral stimulation, ... (read in full...)
I can't get over him (he seems interested too). But he's in a long distance relationship!
Q. (Sorry for the very very lengthy explanation, there is a quick summary at the end if you want to skip the novella) A while back a guy started in my office and I was immediately interested. We started as friends but I knew he'd never like me ...
A. 22 September 2016: Attraction is about feelings. I think youre fun to be with and pretty but for men, there has to be more for them to want to come close and hold you forever. I think hes attracted and see that you like men, you flirt, you fake it til you make it as ... (read in full...)
What to do? I'm dating a woman aged 30 and I can't handle her "sleeping around" in the past.
Q. I'm in my early 20s, not perfect but I met a woman who's 30 recently and we really hit it off. However shes has a LOT of bad things in her past. I'm not misogynist and I have obviously slept with girlfriends but she did a load of crazy stuff when...
A. 19 September 2016: I think your concern shows you who YOU are and not a reflection of who she is. To be completely honest, she sounds completely comfortable with who she is. She has absolutely no concern about what other people think of her. But your concerns shows ... (read in full...)
Two years and the relationship has never advanced?
Q. I've been seeing this guy on and off for almost 2years we have not advanced in our relationship yet he tells me he loves me but makes no effort. is it too late to ask him to just be friends?...
A. 19 September 2016: Any person who has an inkling of interest will show interest and make some effort. Sounds like you wasted two years. Work on yourself and focus on self-love. Move on and start focusing on yourself instead =)... (read in full...)
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
Q. I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
A. 19 September 2016: "It made me realise that not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us, even if you spend a lot of time speaking to each other and how perfect it feels, that it doesn't necessarily mean that they're the one. Some people come ... (read in full...)
If I'm a good kisser, how likely is it that I'll also be a good lover?
Q. I've made out with 5-6 girls and I think I'm a good kisser because I know women hate men who slober over them and I try to figure out what does it for them and try to make them feel good. I honestly think I get more enjoyment thinking I'm g...
A. 19 September 2016: I'm not sure if a good kisser will make someone a good lover. But I def know that a person's kiss will tell them a lot about how their sex preference, style, and endurance. Ive met men who are gentle kissers, slow kisses and its light and sweet.... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to break this off?
Q. Hi guys, This could be a bit of a long one but ill try not to waffle too much. Bit of a backstory: Got myself into a huge pickle with a girl, we're not speaking anymore but we were doing for 2 years, it started out both of us wanting somethin...
A. 19 September 2016: I guess the question is: do you feel like you need closure? And more importantly, do you think she wants closure? If it was a intense relationship (fwb can be passionate relationships) and if you think it will complicate your future relations... (read in full...)
Hold on to hope or let it go?
Q. I met this guy on line and we hit if off really well. He said he was open to the possibility of a relationship and I'm looking for a relationship. I know his situation is not ideal, as he's been divorced for 18 months and currently looking for work ...
A. 19 September 2016: Dont stress out. Its just been a few weeks of dating. Its a really new relationship, dont come off to needy. I say take a deep breathe and view this objectively. Hes only gone 5 weeks! Thats a minimal 35 days. Thats a extremely short time, most ... (read in full...)
Is it really wrong to pay for sex
Q. I have reading the many posts on dearcupid from men who are contemplating paying for sex. I see that most people are against it, like it is the lowest a guy can go. I am at the lowest point in my life now and it will only get worse. I have Marfan ...
A. 14 September 2016: Go for it. Sounds like youve thought his thru and thru. But I will say this, as you seek a escort maybe also ask a female friend if shes willing to help you lose your virginity? Some women are compassionate and may consider giving you a great night ... (read in full...)
Do other guys feel this resentment ? It's making me question my sexuality
Q. I have this issue with my sexual identity and was wondering if other gay men possibly feel the same way. Cutting to the point, I feel jealous towards gay men or bisexual men who have or has had sexual relationships with women I can't exactly desc...
A. 26 August 2016: Sexuality isn't straight or gay, its fluid. Women tend to be more sexually fluid. But from what I sense,you're attracted to men. You desire men. But you probably have a small desire to sexually experiment with a woman. But you're main attraction is ... (read in full...)
I want romance and committment in our marriage!
Q. I'm having some emotional problems and troubles with my wife. I wanted to post the question here before I seek the support of counselling. My wife and I have been together for 7 years and married for 4. It was rough in the first couple of years ...
A. 25 August 2016: Ive answered you before and I hope you really take my answer to heart. Please initiate a divorce and end it. I know she was your first love so youve never known what is like to love another woman. There are so many wonderful people out there who can ... (read in full...)
I want my wife to teaze others - any valid opinions?
Q. Have any of you in committed relationships ever experimented in permitting one partner to engage in some limited sexual behavior towards others, so long as the other partner is present and consenting. This might consist of very close dancing, ...
A. 17 August 2016: Agree with So Very Confused (and what a nice Spock quote btw!) As long as you are consenting adults and understand your connection is unshakable and trust each other 100%, go for it. There are many people in open marriages However, make s... (read in full...)
Should I confess my feelings to him? I'm trying to avoid ''what if?'' regrets.
Q. Hi all Should I confess my feelings to this friend of mine ? I don't know if he knows it or not but I have strong feelings for a friend. We used to flirt and hooked up once but I don't think he feels the same way. Even if he does, he won't eve...
A. 15 August 2016: No. Dont.
You shouldnt have to do anything. Men dont need explanations. He has no intentions to be with you. Drop it. I feel like you have invested feelings and sweetie, its hard but let it go. If a guy wants an explanation or wants to be with you... (read in full...)
Sure ''anything'' could happen. But is he being genuine ? Are his words genuine? Or is he giving me false hope?
Q. My ex and I broke up a few months ago when he told me he didnt know if he loved me anymore. Things are amicable so we're remaining friends. However, whenever i bring up my feelings for him and the relationship, he tells me "anything can ha...
A. 15 August 2016: Sweetie, when a man wants you he will move countries and swim across oceans to be with you. Im exaggerating a little but not by a whole lot. If a guy wants you, it will happen and he will be calling and texting and trying to win you over. The fact ... (read in full...)
I really do want to stop hurting my husband and my lover's wife. But how can I stop?
Q. If you want to judge, please stop reading this right now. I need advice, not lectures. I have been married for nearly 20 years now, no kids. I have never felt the need to seek fulfillment elsewhere since me and my husband have been truly happy...
A. 15 August 2016: So many marry for comfort and security. But in the end, they cheat for passion and desire and wild amazing sex ask yourself what kind of person you want to be? I think if you love him, you should seriously consider ending your marriage and ent... (read in full...)
Being introvert is hampering my love life
Q. Hello all, I need your help with a crisis I'm going through. I am an extremely reserved person and tend to be myself most of the time. I like it this way. It's always been like this since I was a kid. However, as an adult there are situations w...
A. 15 August 2016: I'm an introvert who had to practice how to be an extrovert. It takes hard work but I am living proof it can be done. I am not still the best in groups but when it comes to one-one or being out in public I am very comfortable now and can even (dare ... (read in full...)
Should I even tell him? How can I, considering he's married?
Q. I really need to talk about this. Please don't judge me. I know I'm a idiot for getting into this mess. I have been sleeping with an older married man (49). I stopped all contact with him a few weeks ago, as I missed my period. I then went to the ...
A. 8 August 2016: The child is his and he has a say in whether he you wants a relationship with the child or not (the abortion or not is yours however) He is the father and if you chose to have the child, the child has a right to know who their father is and to have ... (read in full...)
Passion has gone from our private life. We don't get out socially together enough. How do I woo her back again?
Q. My wife and I have been together for 8 years now. We met in China and for several years, things were rocky. Then after so much conflict and so many problems, things settled down. We are looking forward to our first home settling so we can move i...
A. 8 August 2016: NO!!! I just saw this question after scrolling down. DO NOT HAVE A CHILD WITH HER! DO NOT, PLEASE. End the marriage quickly and swiftly. Please do not stay another day in that marriage. She is your past. Move on and find someone who loves y... (read in full...)
Are these Red Flags ? Am I being too sensitive and too hard on him?
Q. I don't know where to begin. I hope someone can give me good insight. So I've been dating a guy for about four months now. We became officially exclusive 2 months ago, though he said he wasn't dating anyone or even looking the entire four mont...
A. 8 August 2016: I agree with Brownwolf, dont let your insecurity ruin this. Let me say this, men like the hot girls, the leggy girls, the spunky girl, but WHO they fall for is the COOL girl. I think you should have let his co-worker come out to the concert with you ... (read in full...)
Dare I tell this younger woman how I feel?
Q. hi, my name is Roger. I am a 70 yr old man and I have become very friendly with a Romanian woman for over a year now, who is 31, and also married I can honestly say I have never got on so well with a woman in all my life we do many things together...
A. 8 August 2016: She sounds lovely but thats just it, shes a lovely person and probably is affectionate and kind to many people around her. I think you have a crush on her but thats just it: a crush. Let it go. Shes married, continue to be kind and polite but i... (read in full...)
It's all wonderful except for his new attitude about our religion!
Q. Can two people be together long-term if they have different religion? I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and I love him very much. He has some flaws but he is a good match for me physically and emotionally. we can talk for hours on end...
A. 5 August 2016: Yes of course two people can make it work who have different cultures, religion, or political views. It's all base on whether both desire, respect, and love each other. And whether there is that strong emotional and physical attraction which you ... (read in full...)
My ex has changed so much since our break up and it really disturbs me
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up a couple of months ago now due to the fact he didn't want a relationship. Since, we have occasionally met up and spend time together which we should not of.. As it only continued to hurt me, not bother him. He has ...
A. 3 August 2016: Sometimes people change, sweetie, all you can do is BE you. All he can be is himself. If he wants to change for better, he needs to learn that on his own. Stop focusing on him. Stop thinking about him. STOP
What you had with him was amazing ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to not like my boyfriend's very intrusive room mate?
Q. Did I overreact? My fiancé and I have seperate places. He has an apartment with roommates as do I. One of his roommates rubs me the wrong way. She's a girl. One time he invited me over to cook me dinner for a date indoors. As he was preparing our ...
A. 3 August 2016: I think you already answered and solved your own questions! Moving out the best answer and avoiding her right now is the best solution while you wait to get a new place together.
Shes just a bratty girl and let her have it. When shes around m... (read in full...)
Help, I have a huge crush on my dentist and want to make a move!
Q. I'm a pretty shy girl and tend to avoid situations where there is a possibility of rejection, but I can't just ignore the one I'm in currently. My dentist retired about two years ago and two young men were hired into the practice. The first time I ...
A. 1 August 2016: Is he taken? I completely understand being attracted to someone in weird circumstances (professor, guy at drive thru, movie theater attendants, walk passing a cute guy) etc. But be realistic honey, it could just be a crush! What if you really go... (read in full...)
Worried my alter ego is taking over
Q. I am 15 years old and have a very cool thing that I can do with my voice, I am able to make my voice sound like a girl. I was about 8 when I found out I could do this and very well in fact that everyone on Xbox thought I was a girl. I pretende...
A. 1 August 2016: Youre 15, honestly I will say this--STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH PEOPLE. Especially online It doesnt matter if youre gay or bi, you can be whatever you want to be or whoever you truly are. Sexuality is fluid. But stringing people online, youre g... (read in full...)
My man has ED. How can I support him through this and pleasure him in bed?
Q. I've been with my partner for 10 years and we have the most amazing relationship. More recently he has had trouble getting hard enough- or staying hard enough to have sex. I want to be clear- this isn't a problem for me in any way shape or form. I...
A. 25 July 2016: This probably isnt an area that you can walk right into and start helping him on, if he is the dominant lover and a man it may be a bit emasculating to him if you were to jump in and try too hard to please him. Be sweet, be who you are, and maybe ... (read in full...)
I feel we have a blessed life. Yet due to his responses I ask, am I married to a narcissist?
Q. I am wondering if I am married to a narcissist? I have been with my husband for ten years and I have never cried so much in my life than I have in these ten years. When someone says you are lucky to have the wife you have or your wife is bea...
A. 25 July 2016: He does sound like a narcissist, and an uptight unappreciative jerk. I'd say show him your anger. You sound really sweet but a guy will push boundaries until you show him you do have one. He just sounds like a downer overall. Stop crying and stick ... (read in full...)
He's the brother I wished I had!
Q. Here is my story, For the past two years, I went on a mission trip with my church for a week. I got to know and see the good in people but there is someone special that I met. Last year, we started to get to know one another but this year, we hit i...
A. 21 July 2016: Dont be ashame to express how you feel, guy or girl it doesnt matter. Tell him how you feel but also dont forget to SHOW him your feelings. Feelings are so important and they have to be express for us to live truly amazing, full-filling lives, ... (read in full...)
Should I stop worrying about him and continue working on myself ? My husband is being very cold towards me
Q. My husband and I have had a rocky marriage of 4 years. I have a very good share of the blame for that, as I have been very selfish and immature in our marriage. On my husband's end, he is very controlling and emotionally abusive, pretty ...
A. 18 July 2016: First step in making things work again is to know yourself and admit your mistakes (because a marriage is two way street). I'm glad at least you can admit that you were immature and selfish. It sounds like he cheated but you didnt mention what you ... (read in full...)
Did I permanently mess up my chances with this girl?
Q. Okay, so I've been eyeing this girl both in person and on social media for about 8 months now. She doesn't even know I exist because the few times that I've seen her in person I was really far away for her to notice and it was at a county fair with ...
A. 13 July 2016: Sounds like she was attracted to you but didnt enjoy the conversation. Start becoming who you are, the charistmatic guy you were before. Let your past go, work out, go out with friends, open up about how you feel with feelings, basically work on y... (read in full...)
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