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... Send *ensitiveBloke a private message | | | *ensitiveBloke's profile:I am a Christian and my life experiences and advice are shaped by my faith.
I always try to offer advice that lines up with the Bible's teachings on relationships.
I'm a passionate believer in marriage, and will always encourage husbands and wives to do everything they possibly can to make their marriages work.
I'm not here to force my views on anyone, but I hope I can give genuinely helpful advice whenever possible. |
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I can't get over a guy I have been speaking to online
Q. I had been talking to a younger guy on a dating site and he is the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen. He said I was very beautiful in my profile and we had a few chats. He has called me hun from the beginning and it made me feel nice. I am 47 and ...
A. 30 July 2013: Are you using free dating sites? Go for a paid one and you'll meet better people.... (read in full...)
I can't get over a guy I have been speaking to online
Q. I had been talking to a younger guy on a dating site and he is the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen. He said I was very beautiful in my profile and we had a few chats. He has called me hun from the beginning and it made me feel nice. I am 47 and ...
A. 25 July 2013: It sounds like he's not interested, otherwise he'd suggest you meet up with him, right?
Time to move on and get to know other people.... (read in full...)
Should I fake it till I make it?
Q. i need advice-should i fake it til i make it? been with my fiance 3yrs and we had our first baby 6 months ago. at first, we maintained our sex life (i didn't want intercourse as i was scared it would hurt, but enjoyed giving him bjs). but then on ...
A. 24 July 2013: Leaving love notes for him will not make him feel loved when you're witholding sex from him.
Sex is about giving, not just taking. Sometimes we have to just go through the motions because we love our partners and we want them to be happy. It's a s... (read in full...)
It's not that she had sex, it's that she had sex with *him*
Q. Dear community, currently, I'm in a relationship with a girl (19. I'm really in love with her and I strongly believe that she's too. But there's this one thing that keeps bothering me the whole time. During the time her previous relation...
A. 22 July 2013: So you wanna get together with a girl who cheats on her boyfriends? That's the bigger problem here.... (read in full...)
My best male friend has cut me out of his life after his wife got jealous
Q. My male friend and I have been best friends ever since High School. We are both grown around our 30's now and we've been talking on the phone and emailing each other past years, I'am married with 2 kids and he just got married last year and a ...
A. 22 July 2013: It's always tricky being friends with someone of the opposite sex when they have a partner. You have to maintain a certain distance and you can't be too close.
Wanting regular correspondance from him was probably a step too far.
It's not easy... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if girlfriend was a virgin?
Q. hello dear aunts, I have recently start dating this girl, she has just turned 21. she recently confessed she was a virgin when we did it for the first time, however I've been skeptical. (sorry for being graphic) I gave her oral a few times, only ...
A. 19 July 2013: The blood would suggest she was indeed a virgin.
I know different states have different laws for the age of consent, so I don't know whether you're breaking the law or not. If you are, there could be serious consequences for her if you're reported... (read in full...)
I am new to having sex but am worried something is wrong. I feel like I could pass out!
Q. i need some help. i had sex for the first time about two days ago. yeah i was nervous but also very comfortable since it was with my boyfriend who i love very much, and he also helped me feel comfortable. what i dont understand it right when i ...
A. 19 July 2013: I think you need to see a doctor about this.... (read in full...)
Love is just something I really want to have, but it seems that it works out for everyone else except me.
Q. I am turning 21 and I have never kissed a girl. I think about this all the time, and it makes me really uncomfortable. I am literally the only one among my friends/people my age I've met, and I feel isolated. People tell me I'm a great guy and girls ...
A. 18 July 2013: If you haven't already done so, try online dating. It works for LOTS of people. It's a very good way of contacting a lot of people you would never otherwise have met.... (read in full...)
Unresolvable boyfriend: should I wait and see if he comes back or shall I forget him once and for all?
Q. I returned to my ex at the beginning of this year after being separated for 13 years, we were in our late teens and he was my first boyfriend and back then too many people got involved in our relationship. We never stopped loving each other and ...
A. 18 July 2013: Move on to someone a bit more grown up!... (read in full...)
Should I stop texting him and wait for him to make plans with me? Or should I just move on?
Q. Hi everyone! For about a month now I've been seeing this guy casually. When we hang out together, it's awesome- he shows so much interest and I can tell that he's really into me, and I'm really into him as well. However, for the past week he's ...
A. 18 July 2013: If he's barely contacted you then he's not into you. Move on.... (read in full...)
I have guilty feelings from this kiss, I need opinions on the cheating!
Q. Hi all, I really need opinions and views on this as I find it hard to speak to people as I don't want my friends to judge me. I cheated on my boyfriends of 2 years (still together now) when we had been going out for just 2 months. It was heavil...
A. 16 July 2013: Don't beat yourself up anymore. It was a silly mistake but it's in the past so move on.... (read in full...)
My partner said he will never forgive me for my shouting at him because he let our 16 week baby boy roll off a chair!
Q. We have a beautiful 16 week baby boy who ia amazing. My partner and I have been together nearly 4 years.Our son is a miracle as we were told we might have problems conceiving. Yesterday my partner told me he did not want to be with me any more, I am ...
A. 16 July 2013: He wouldn't have left because of this alone. I think he must have already been very unhappy for other reasons.... (read in full...)
Does that sound like he was keen to come and see me?
Q. Hi guys, I just wanted some opinions on my situation. About three weeks ago I hooked up with a guy in a band (they were on tour). He gave me his number and we had been texting back and forth for about two weeks. He's not from my state so I went ...
A. 16 July 2013: I wouldn't get too excited if I were you. If he was keen, he'd have said: "I'll ring you when I'm back in the area."... (read in full...)
Should I try to date my child's teacher?
Q. I had been working towards pursuing one of the teachers that i had got to know in my childs school throughout the year and finally got round to increasing the flirting to encourage an opportunity to get to know him more over the summer holidays, i ...
A. 16 July 2013: There may be ethical rules preventing him from having a relationship with the parent of a pupil in a school where he teaches.... (read in full...)
My beloved uncle has passed away and I don't know how to carry on with life now
Q. My uncle was diagnosed with cancer five weeks ago, and he died two days ago. I have been having nightmares about when I saw him in hospital with the oxygen mask on. I wanted to see him in hospital, but it was very difficult. It was heart breaking ...
A. 5 July 2013: I'm very sorry for your loss.
You were very good to him. You have NOTHING to feel guilty about. You were a loving niece.
If you want to go and see his body before the funeral, do it.
Remember the good times and keep talking and crying with ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend dumped my because I wouldn't add her as a friend on Facebook.
Q. My Girlfriend dumped me because I wouldn't add her as my friend on Facebook. I don't understand what everyone's obsession over Facebook is. I like to keep my private life private. I think she is just too jealous. I don't feel I should have to add ...
A. 5 July 2013: Yeah, she was right to dump you. What were you hiding from her?
You've been an idiot. Sorry, but you have.
Take a good long look at yourself and work out why you didn't want to let her into your life.... (read in full...)
I'm struggling to let go of my ex, she is my reason for living. I really need some advice pls?
Q. Would you allow your ex to move on to a new partner when you love them so much? They were everything and your entire reason for being here. 3 years I've tried everything to win her back. I've only ever loved her, I will only ever love her. The mo...
A. 4 July 2013: You have to let her go. She doesn't want to be with you. You must accept it and move on.
You can find love again, but you must release her emotionally first.
You sound needy. This is not good. Set yourself some personal goals and start planni... (read in full...)
My disabled partner is not able to satisfy my sexually and its causing problems of frustration and trust. Please help?
Q. My fiancee is disabled and cannot make love as often as I'd like to. His back pain severely restricts what he can do and how often. I have a very high sex drive so I find this a real challenge. I am ok to deal with it day by day while sober but the ...
A. 4 July 2013: Stop drinking so much if it makes you like that!
There are many ways to have sex. I'm sure with a bit of investigation you could find something that works for you both.... (read in full...)
Uncomfortable about what happened, should I bring it up or pretend it never happened?
Q. Hello cupids. Last night a family friend asked me to spend the night at his house, his mom whom Im very close with wanted me to stay as well because it would be fun.. I am twenty two and thought it would be a little weird since he is sixteen. He a...
A. 28 June 2013: You must tell him and his parents that it was completely out of order.... (read in full...)
I just want to find someone that I love and who loves me in return and I'm so scared that I'm never going to find the right guy.
Q. This isn't really a question asking for advice, more like asking for support so I'm brave enough to make the decision that I have to make. Please tell me that I'm doing the right thing for me? _________________ I started dating this guy a ...
A. 28 June 2013: You are needy, and you're using relationships to fill a void.
You need to be happy being a single person, confident in who you are and what's important to you.
Once you have this foundation, you will be in a position to consider a relat... (read in full...)
My best friend was molested as a child and has deep emotional issues because it. I'm in love with her, but don't know how to help her. Please tell me what to do!
Q. I'm struggling with a problem that's destroying me. I'm helplessly in love with my best friend. She's everything I ever wanted in a girl. Unfortunately, she's extremely broken. She was molested on different occasions by her brother and her uncle and ...
A. 28 June 2013: I think you should do whatever you feel she'll respond to best. It's really important she gets professional help. People can and do recover, so persevere but don't pressure her.... (read in full...)
My best friend was molested as a child and has deep emotional issues because it. I'm in love with her, but don't know how to help her. Please tell me what to do!
Q. I'm struggling with a problem that's destroying me. I'm helplessly in love with my best friend. She's everything I ever wanted in a girl. Unfortunately, she's extremely broken. She was molested on different occasions by her brother and her uncle and ...
A. 26 June 2013: She's in a mess and needs professional help.
She's not ready for a relationship, so stop trying to start one with her. Be there as a friend if you want, but nothing more.... (read in full...)
Is the purpose of sex to orgasm or to feel close and intimate with your partner?
Q. Okay so I'm 20 and recently started having sex with the guy that I'm seeing (he's 21). I lost my virginity to him, but we have only had sex about 3 times since that. Before we had sex, he would play with me down there. Now he doesn't, I think ...
A. 26 June 2013: He is being utterly selfish and not considering your needs. You need to talk to him and explain what you expect from sex. It will take time for you both to learn how each others bodies work.... (read in full...)
Married for 20 years and been feeling alone for the last 5! Is it time to get out?
Q. Another night of being ignored. Together almost 20 years, and feeling alone for the last 5. I have gotten the excuses "I need to be in the mood (emphasis on I)".....I'm too tired, the proverbial headache, yet her addiction to Facebook and gam...
A. 26 June 2013: It sounds like she is no longer attracted to you. The meds may indeed be affecting this, but it's likely there's more to it.
You can't go on like this. I would advise you to sit down with her and have a frank discussion about what the real pro... (read in full...)
Help!! Who do I choose? The one who makes me his world or the one who gives me goosebumps?
Q. I have to choose between two men. #1 is kind, loving, considerate, caring, sweet, faithful, would do anything for me and makes me the centre of his universe. BUT he is boring, predictable there is no chemistry or spark between us and the sex is d...
A. 20 June 2013: Neither, because neither are good enough for you. Both are lacking important qualities that you need for a successful relationship.... (read in full...)
Is marriage the right thing for me to do?
Q. I just want to share my story and I would Love your opinions. it was about 8 or 9 months ago I was walking into church for a revival when I laid eyes on the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. He was well dressed, the cutest smile with pe...
A. 19 June 2013: It's way too soon to start thinking about marriage.
You're experiencing the intense excitement that people often get in the beginning of a relationship. That intensity will not continue, it never does. It's to do with chemicals being released... (read in full...)
My gf left me over a silly mistake... what should I do from here? We love each other!
Q. Thank you for reading... I have been with my girlfriend for about 2 years and we are very happy together. We have always been good but she left me last week and i can't see what to do from here. I was at a party a few weeks ago and there were a...
A. 18 June 2013: Give her space. What you did was wrong, and i'm sure you realise that now.
What she has done (i.e. kissing someone else to deliberately hurt you) is worse in my eyes because it was premeditated and she was deliberately trying to be nasty to you. ... (read in full...)
My Dad refuses to be around my boyfriend
Q. I'm going to my cousin's 30th birthday party next week, but I can't take my boyfriend with me, as my dad is going to the party too, and he doesn't want to be around my boyfriend. My boyfriend used some bad language when he came to my dad's birthday ...
A. 17 June 2013: If this is what your boyfriend does when he drinks, he should stop drinking. He should apologise to your dad, and say he won't touch a drop at the next event.
However i suspect there are other things your dad doesn't like about him. It's rarely d... (read in full...)
Do I keep fighting for love or pull back?
Q. My 9 year relationship with my boyfriend just ended 6 weeks ago. The first 5 years were great. The last 4, not so great. I gained a lot of weight and pushed him away. Wouldn't have sex with him. Wouldn't even let him touch me. I was mean to him. I ...
A. 14 June 2013: He wants to be with a person who won't go cold on him. With you, he doesn't know what you'll do.
Learn from this and move on. Don't make the same mistakes again. Become the better person you want to be, and you'll find happiness.... (read in full...)
I met my online date, but do not like him. How do I let this fade away?
Q. I've been exchanging messages with this guy I met online for the past two weeks. We basically wrote lengthy letters to one another, covering a variety of topics. He's basically an open book, and a genuine guy from the "research" I've done on him. ...
A. 14 June 2013: Don't ignore his texts - that's rude. Just be honest and tell him you see him only as a friend and you don't see it developing beyond that.... (read in full...)
If I give her what she wants, how do I know I will get what I want later?
Q. My girlfriend and I have had an amazing relationship. We clicked right from the start and I have to say that I have never had feelings for anyone else than I have for her. We had a small issue earlier this year where she thought she didn't have ...
A. 12 June 2013: She sounds like a childish emotional drama queen. She will probably always be like this. Is this what you want from a relationship, cos this is what you will be stuck with.
Your choice.... (read in full...)
My much older husband treats me terribly. The only reason I stay is for the kids. How long will I have to live like this?
Q. I have been married for 4 1/2 years now. For the past 3 years I noticed that my husband started complaining about every little thing in the house. Eg if I put my laptop on the table and my daughter spills water in it he would scream at me in front...
A. 12 June 2013: He needs professional help. Does he realise he's like it?
If he won't agree to get help, there's no way he will ever improve.... (read in full...)
Our marriage is hanging by a thread. My husband changed his facebook password and won't give it to me!
Q. I need help trying to not let it bother me that my husband changed his fb pass on me and wont give it to me cause i cant trust him. Our marriage is hanging by a thread and im trying really hard to fix this prob. It doesnt help that most people I ...
A. 12 June 2013: Not knowing each other's fb password is hardly grounds for divorce.
Why don't you trust him? Has he done things to suggest he's seeing someone else?
A bit more info would help! Thanks.... (read in full...)
My bf's attention to his ex is hurting me. Am I being unreasonable? Help.
Q. I'm getting really down in the dumps about my boyfriend messaging his ex behind my back all the time. They split up 10 years ago but he speaks to her more than any of his other friends. He knows I find it uncomfortable and its starting to hurt me. ...
A. 10 June 2013: You are not out of order at all. Any woman would feel the same.
All of the behaviour you've described is awful. Don't put up with it for a moment longer.... (read in full...)
I love flirting with this guy at work? Is it wrong? I am happily married and my husband works at the same place as me.
Q. I am a happily married female. I work in the same department as my husband. However I see him a couple of times throughout the day. He has his own group of friends and I have my group of friends. However I am starting to become very attracte...
A. 7 June 2013: Is it wrong? Do you seriously need to ask?
You're playing with fire and sooner or later you'll get burnt.... (read in full...)
Do I plan a surprise visit for a 7000km long distance relationship for a few weeks?! HELP!
Q. Hello, My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. We have been going out for a year and a half and he's in the uk due to an injury and I am in Canada for Uni. I have summer break from uni for 3 weeks in august. I just came b...
A. 7 June 2013: Best to tell him. Then he has something to look forward to and you can both spend time between now and then planning things to do which will be fun for you both.... (read in full...)
I'm sickened by what our relationship has become. What am I to do now?
Q. I was introduced to a friend of my now brother-in-law 10 years ago and I dated him for about a month. I wasn't into getting into a relationship at that point in my life and I wasn't even sure if I liked him in that way. Everyone would tell me how ...
A. 4 June 2013: Living with parents is often a complete disaster. You must persuade him to get you both outta there, otherwise you'll leave him. It's as simple as that. You can't go on like this anymore. If he really loves you, he'll want to find a solution ... (read in full...)
Was it a one night stand or does he have other plans?
Q. So I went home to my sister's wedding and I met this guy, he is Danish, anyway, we end up getting so drunk and we spent all the wedding day together, to make things short I went back to his hotel room and we had sex. I was actually the one that ...
A. 31 May 2013: If you don't usually trust men and have had bad experiences in the past, it would be much better not to sleep with people so quickly! Get to know people well first and take things slowly!... (read in full...)
How do I get out of this awkward dating thing with this guy I met through a dating website? I'm just not good at saying no or bringing up these things. Help?
Q. Hey All! So I met this guy through a dating website but Frankly meeting someone through a dating website is not a ideal thing for me and I just did it because my friend forced me to join it. I have quit it now because I don't think it works f...
A. 29 May 2013: Do not let this go on any longer. It's not fair to string someone along.
Just tell him you don't want to have a relationship with him.... (read in full...)
Online dating: yay or nay?
Q. I signed up for an online dating site and received a few messages already. Then I realized I was too shy to even reply back to a simple message! Ugh! I thought I would give it a try but I'm still a little on the fence on whether it's a good ide...
A. 21 May 2013: My experience of online dating was positive, but i think a lot of free sites tend to have time-wasters on them, so i would choose the site carefully.
Once you've exchanged a few messages with someone, you should get a feel as to whether you'd li... (read in full...)
Had the second date and I really like her, but she's not responded to my texts for a week!
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I have been on two dates with a wonderful woman and over the course of these dates I have found out that she is perfect for me in every way. The problem is that even though the dates were successful it seems that I'm n...
A. 21 May 2013: She's not interested. It would be polite if she just told you how she was feeling about things, but she's a coward.
Don't contact her again. Her silence has given you her answer.
... (read in full...)
Should I participate in hanky panky with a colleague while out of town?
Q. Just feeling a bit naughty I suppose. Soon I will be going out of town to San Diego for a 4 day class and conference. My husband has declined to join me so I am thinking of sharing a hotel room and bed with a very nice attractive young gentleman in ...
A. 20 May 2013: You're old enough to know better!
Maybe you need more excitement at home? If this is the issue, address it with your husband. Having an affair will cause you no end of problems.... (read in full...)
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