A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello cupids.Last night a family friend asked me to spend the night at his house, his mom whom Im very close with wanted me to stay as well because it would be fun.. I am twenty two and thought it would be a little weird since he is sixteen. He also had a friend over who I actually really like for someone who is sixteen. The friend C ive actually had sleep overs with because hes my friends little brother and never had any problems with. So last night I woke up to him touching me, I panicked of course and I rolled over to seem like I was waking up, afterwards he began to masturbate, I dont know whether I should say something or act like nothing happened and never bring it up, Im not terribly upset but highly uncomfortable. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 June 2013):
 Totally wrong of him.
Why would you sleep over at the house of a 16 yr old boy as a grown woman because he asked?
you say you rolled over and then he masturbated are you sleeping in the same bed or room as this boy? That alone is an issue
if he came into your room and then did not leave then he's got boundary issues and I'm wondering if his mom has ever had the appropriate discussions with him.
I would first go to him and tell him you know he sexually molested you. Because he did. I would then ask him WHY he felt this was acceptable and how he would like you to handle it.
IF he seems to blow off the seriousness of his bad behavior you will have to go to his mother but you may find she's just as blase about it because kids get their attitudes from their parents.
I would NOT have sleepovers with these boys.
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (28 June 2013):
 You must tell him and his parents that it was completely out of order.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (28 June 2013):
 I would definitely have a word with him. That is WAY wrong and I'm sure he knows that too.
If he thinks THAT is OK, what else will he "think" is OK to do to a "girl"?
...............................
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (27 June 2013):
 Yea I would talk to him and just be like, that wasn't appropriate at all. I'm sure he knows it's wrong I just think you should enforce that.He'll be so embarassed it'll never happen again. I might be wrong but if I were you and would think back on this event, I think it'd feel worse viewing myself as the complacent 22 year old allowing herself to be touched by a minor than the one that spoke up against it-not to say it's your fault, it's to say that if you think that this could reflect on your integrity or self-worth, why bother keeping it to yourself like you're the one with a dirty secret?
...............................
A
male
reader, mkateko  +, writes (27 June 2013):
 what you don't like, you don't like. It is not like something that you are not sure as where you like it or not. Good, if ever it is as you are saying why not bring it up. The way I understand it, for now talk to him and him alone. You two you can even keep it to your selfs. Warn him not to do such to you anymore, after talking and warning him if such happens again that is where you can therefore engage parents. You know what, most women who have be raped in their lives they were raped by someone well known to the family. You can stop it as you saw it coming, but you have to take an action and now before it is too late. You do nothing about it today, the next time he might force him self onto you. Take an action and now please.You never know as a family friend it might happen that you get yuor self in a situation where by you are just two in the house where by you have to spend the whole night, you find that you has no option but to be there, how are you doing to feel about that, will you be free, I don't think so. Stop this while far.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (27 June 2013):
 So he groped you while you were sleeping?
That is sexual assault. Since he's 16 and a minor, tell his parents. I'd be pressing charges on someone groping me in my sleep. He's not your husband, nor a boyfriend, and feeling you up while you are sleeping is a violation of your person.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2013): You just don't place yourself in these odd situations. Please don't embarrass him. He is just a kid, and things blown out of proportion will create panic. He's at that age, and that's unfortunately one of the bad things boys try to get away with.Go to him and admonish him for violating you, and let him know that by no means is he ever to touch anyone without their permission. Under no circumstances is he ever to touch a woman, or girl, against her will. That should be enough to shake him up. Making this a huge spectacle will accomplish nothing. By you not allowing him to get away with it, you will plant something in his mind; that will make him aware of the consequences. He will be less likely to attempt it again. Let him know that if he ever steps out of line again, you will make it known to his parents what he did. Demand an apology.Never accept invitations for sleepovers from teenage boys.They have ulterior motives. Even it it's sanctioned by their mothers.
...............................
|
