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... Send *ensitiveBloke a private message | | | *ensitiveBloke's profile:I am a Christian and my life experiences and advice are shaped by my faith.
I always try to offer advice that lines up with the Bible's teachings on relationships.
I'm a passionate believer in marriage, and will always encourage husbands and wives to do everything they possibly can to make their marriages work.
I'm not here to force my views on anyone, but I hope I can give genuinely helpful advice whenever possible. |
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Should I participate in hanky panky with a colleague while out of town?
Q. Just feeling a bit naughty I suppose. Soon I will be going out of town to San Diego for a 4 day class and conference. My husband has declined to join me so I am thinking of sharing a hotel room and bed with a very nice attractive young gentleman in ...
A. 20 May 2013: You're old enough to know better!
Maybe you need more excitement at home? If this is the issue, address it with your husband. Having an affair will cause you no end of problems.... (read in full...)
How can I break up with my b/f? He always brings it up that he'll kill himself if I break up!
Q. hy!! 7months ago i asked for help to break up with my boyfriend. well every1 asked me to tell him the truth and breakup with him nicely. . here i go I'm still stuck him. . i tld him that i dnt love him nd i even cheated on him with ex bf. and he ...
A. 17 May 2013: His threat to kill himself is just a manipulative ploy to stop you breaking up with him, and it's worked, hasn't it?
You have to be strong and tell him it's over and then stop seeing him. It's gonna hurt, but that's what you must do.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend suddenly needs space. Do I give him space? Or dump him?
Q. My boyfriend of 5 months suddenly says he needs to "reconnect" with his friends (aka drinking buddies) and plans to stay out every Friday night with them. He says I'm not invited "for now" - and besides I work at 7AM on Saturdays and he wants to s...
A. 14 May 2013: Give him some space. Everyone needs some me time with their friends every so often. It's healthy for a relationship.... (read in full...)
What are your views on no sex before marriage?
Q. I am Christian but nondenominational and I honestly can't decide whether I should wait till marriage and the most committed relationship possible to have sex or have fun, play the field and get experienced with boyfriends at college. I would love to ...
A. 14 May 2013: If you're a Christian then i presume you want to do what God would want?
The Bible teaches that people should wait until they're married.
There are arguments for and against it, but ultimately that's what God wants you to do.... (read in full...)
Did my comments to her bring on an eating disorder?
Q. I didn't mean to make my best friend have this problem and now I feel terrible, I didn't realise what effect my comment had and what she went through before! Over the last two weeks I made a few comments in very obvious jokes! She was making dinne...
A. 13 May 2013: Never joke about a woman's weight. It's just too sensitive a subject. Your girlfriend has taken your comments to heart.
Sit down and talk to her about this. Make it clear you think she has no need to be crash dieting like this. Size 8 is already ... (read in full...)
He's a bit eccentric, can't take him home to meet my parents, there isn't much sexual attraction. But he's lovely and everything I want. What to do?
Q. What would people do in this situation? I met this guy he is everything I want but.. there isn't much sexual attraction and the other thing is he is way too eccentric to take home to my parents. I'd be embarassed. He says things loudly which he sho...
A. 13 May 2013: He can't be everything you want if you're not physically attracted to him and you find him loud and embarrassing. Maybe he's better as a good friend rather than a boyfriend?... (read in full...)
I think we can work our problems out, but he's ready to break up
Q. I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend the other night. We've been together for 3 years now and have had problems within those years, some of which have not successfully been solved. I was away for 6 months going to school, and the last two ...
A. 13 May 2013: I'd like to help you with one or two of the issues, but you haven't actually said what they are.
Making relationships work is not about having the same opinion on everything, but on accepting your differences. Sometimes these are just too big, how... (read in full...)
We are never intimate and now she doesn't seem to care as much about me, is she dating someone else?
Q. Hi thanks to you all for answers to my questions thus far. i'm a guy of 26 plus and my girlfriend is 22 plus she work as a secretary we have been dating getting to 4yrs. now we both love each other we've not had sex, romance or kiss even when she ...
A. 10 May 2013: You've been dating 4 years and not kissed each other? Are you just friends? Are you in love with each other?
It would be a bit odd to go from nothing to everything in one night.
Take things one step at a time and don't rush her.... (read in full...)
My friends are open about going on internet dating sites despite being married, yet I don't feel comfortable with this. Opinions please?
Q. What do you think about this please. I have some friends they are a married Indian Hindu couple with a year old child. I have learnt from her that her husband goes onto Internet dating sites for fun. He was contacted by an escort who said she ...
A. 10 May 2013: This sort of behaviour is bizarre and totally unacceptable.... (read in full...)
He has wanted to do phone sex with me almost from the beginning. Now he wants sex face to face. How to discourage him?
Q. I am a student. I have met a boy via facebook 5 months ago..and we started talking by phone as he wanted my number for helping me in my near exam as he was from the same stream as mine and was my senior. In the meantime my ex- boyfriend broke ...
A. 8 May 2013: He proposed to you, but he's never met you in person? He insists on phone sex, and now he's demanding real sex?
It's time to get a grip on reality and dump this weirdo.... (read in full...)
I'm aware I don't love him, but I wonder if I'm being abused
Q. I am 22. My boyfriend is 39. Let's call him J. We've been dating for four months now. We just had our first fight. I slapped J's face as a joke and then he smacked my ass. Yes, I know that sounds funny and I probably shouldn't take it seriously but ...
A. 8 May 2013: If no-one on this site gives good advice, OP, why did you ask for our advice?... (read in full...)
My ex looks sad but I'm happy I ended things!
Q. Well as many of you know I've been having issues with my so called boyfriend .. Well me and him aren't together any longer and I feel good but then again really lonely. I go out with family and friends to get my mind off things but today I saw him ...
A. 2 May 2013: Be strong. You did the right thing breaking up with him. It's gonna be hard, but things will get better.... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to stop yelling at me all the time?
Q. So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and in the beginning he would never yell at me, but now it's like everything I do is wrong. I can't talk to certain people otherwise he gets really angry and threatens to leave me, if I don't do ...
A. 2 May 2013: He needs help, and you will too if you stay in this dangerous relationship.... (read in full...)
Is it time to leave? She issued me with an ultimatum: The bachelor party or her
Q. My girlfriend(who I live with) and I have been at odds everyday for the last week. My friend has a wedding coming this weekend, and their bachelor party on Friday night. So she has made an effort to fight with me everyday. But to cut to the chase...
A. 25 April 2013: From what you've said, your girlfriend is argumentative, has her own past, doesn't care how you feel, doesn't understand you, manipulates you, has many insucurities and is now issuing you ultimatums.
This sounds like the perfect opportun... (read in full...)
Why do I not attract any interest?
Q. Hello all, I am having trouble understanding why I have so many issues attracting or being approached by women at bars and other public places. I dress well, believe i am attractive, have a good personality but I get no interest whatsoever from ...
A. 24 April 2013: Give dating websites a go. They work for many people. They're an easy way to meet people. Avoid the free ones though.... (read in full...)
He seems to be overreacting -- could there be more to the story?
Q. i met this man online almost two weeks ago and after exchanging phone numbers we clicked instantly. We were both smitten by each other texting all day calling every night telling each other how much we missed each other it was crazy we had such good ...
A. 22 April 2013: He sounds like a nutcase. Do not continue any contact with him, for your own sake.... (read in full...)
Why aren't Christian guys ever interested in me?
Q. I'm a second-year student at university and I converted to Christianity in my first year here. I've never really been the type to "sleep around" and don't want sex before marriage, and I'd prefer dating someone who shared my religious beliefs, too, ...
A. 19 April 2013: Just carry on being yourself and keep socialising and i'm sure the right person will come along.... (read in full...)
Should I marry a girl I love but has cheated and lied to me in the past?
Q. Hi, I ve posted on this website before and I ve found the answers helpful so I am back looking for some more advice please. Should I get married to my on off girlfriend of four years given that we have had quite a volatile relationship? ...
A. 16 April 2013: You should not be considering marriage if you have any doubts. Give the relationship time, and see how you feel in 6 months to a year.... (read in full...)
Should I ask the guy for a second date or assume he's not interested?
Q. Hi I had a date with a guy on Friday night. It went well, we had a good talk, laugh etc and have things in common. I find him attractive, but don't know if he feels the same way. I don't know if the chemistry was there. After a few drinks in a ...
A. 15 April 2013: If he was interested, he probably would have contacted you by now. If you want to make sure, by all means text him and ask if he'd like to meet up again.... (read in full...)
Girls: Do you say no sex to your boyfriend often?
Q. Hi Just like to know if this is normal behaviour for men or in relationships. Last night in bed with my boyfriend I wasn't feeling too well (have a bad headcold) and told him I didn't want to have sex with him, to just cuddle and sleep. He kep...
A. 15 April 2013: Your boyfriend is not treating you with respect. No should mean no. Many guys will nag their partners to change their mind, but you should not tolerate anyone forcing themselves on you. It is attempted rape.... (read in full...)
I want Sex and my GF is happy without it, what am I missing?
Q. My girlfriend and I have almost no sex life anymore. I've tried talking to her about this. She tells me that she just "doesn't feel like sex". The problem is that she seems to be happy to go without sex forever, but I just can't do that - I gave her ...
A. 12 April 2013: She has a low sex drive, and there's probably nothing you can do about it.
Tell her how you feel, but ultimately I think you'll have to move on as she almost certainly won't and probably can't change.... (read in full...)
I really like this guy why does he behave the way he does?
Q. Why does he behave this way? I really like him:(? There's this guy that I really like. He's constantly staring at me when I'm not looking and looks away and runs off as soon as I catch him looking. Sometimes he's the sweetest thing ever an...
A. 27 March 2013: It sounds to me like he really likes you but his lack of confidence makes him say silly, embarrassing things.
If you do nothing, this will just continue so why not go ahead and ask him if he wants to go out for a drink with you? Once you meet up ... (read in full...)
I asked about our relationship status and it comes out that he thinks we should just call ourselves 'friends'! I'm totally heartbroken, should I just say good riddance?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for a little over a year now and everything seemed to be going well and the relationship was definitely progressing. Because we're long distance however we don't see each other as much as we'd like (but up until this point ...
A. 26 March 2013: It sounds like you two had a special friendship, but not a boyfriend girlfriend thing. By wanting to date other girls, this should have been the clue that you weren't going to be anything more. You've done the right thing by asking him to cl... (read in full...)
I think we broke up yet it's not really bothering me.
Q. I texted my girlfriend/ex a few days ago to ask how everything was, no answer. I called, it went straight to voice mail. I called again a few hours later and it went to voicemail again. At first it distressed me that she was ignoring my calling but ...
A. 26 March 2013: If she contacts you, let her know how you feel about her and the relationship you had with her. It's better than leaving things hanging.
Don't give up on finding a soulmate. It's a big world out there with lots of nice people. Don't lower your exp... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend about a drunken fumble with her boyfriend?
Q. I recently went on a weekend away with my boyfriend, two of my friends and their boyfriends. We always go out as a group and all get along really well. One night we was playing drinking games and everyone ended up naked. This is the first time ...
A. 25 March 2013: I think it might be better not to mention anything. I think if you had had sex with him, that would be different, but there's nothing to be gained by saying anything to her.
Obviously you won't want this kind of thing to happen again, so i think ... (read in full...)
Not sure I am in Love but I am my GF first BF and I am scared to shatter her dreams
Q. My girlfriend and me are facing a huge crisis and it's all my fault. We have had an amazing time together. I have found someone who loves me with all her heart and would do anything to make me happy. The trouble is, my feelings for her are not ...
A. 25 March 2013: It's going to be difficult, but you have to be honest with your girlfriend about your feelings.
The most loving thing to do is to release her so she can meet someone who can love her back as much as she loves them.
It's the best thing in th... (read in full...)
How do I confess to my wife and my children that I have had countless affairs and 3 children came from these affairs?
Q. im not in the best of health and im trying to find the lord and confess my sins. just not sure how to tell my wife who im separated from that i wasnt as innocent as she thought. we got married in the military had a son and daughter and i let her ...
A. 22 March 2013: Once you've said sorry to God, you are completely forgiven. Other people may not be so forgiving and will probably be very angry, but God knows everything and you have no need to carry round any more guilt or condemnation because He doesn't condemn ... (read in full...)
Is he playing with my emotions?
Q. I met this guy from a friend of mine a year ago, and I started developing feeling for him. He initiated the first meeting, and took me to the "City" and everything was fine for a couple of dates. One day he started being really obnoxious, telling ...
A. 21 March 2013: The guy's a complete idiot. What on earth do you see in him?
Drop him and have no contact is my advice.... (read in full...)
Why won't my partner give me blowjobs?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 8 years and she has never giving me a proper blowjob, and by proper I mean that she has never gotten me off while doing it. She rarely goes down on me, and I mean rarely, I'm taking once every year or two. And ...
A. 21 March 2013: The bottom line is she doesn't like blowjobs and never will. No amount of persuading will change how she feels.
Can you live with that?... (read in full...)
Why does he reel me in and then pull back? What is even going on?
Q. I guess the only way this would make sense is if i start from the beginning....it seems almost unreal, like something you would only read in a book but its happened, and it still is... SO back in october 2012 I had a random friend request on FB fr...
A. 20 March 2013: You've never met him, right? You can't possibly know someone you've never met.
Who knows what he's up to? He could be married, he might be in his seventies, he might even be a woman.... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have a relationship with no differences in opinion?
Q. Hi guys! You have helped me out a lot in the past so I am back again for some advice. I got out of a LTR in October last year and (I know it sounds bad but...) I hooked up with someone I had befriended from work fairly quickly, I recall it was ab...
A. 18 March 2013: As long as you both talk to each other about the things that really matter to you then there's nothing odd about not arguing at all.
Some people are just not argumentative people, and if you get two of those in a relationship then you won't ge... (read in full...)
Spends his money on gifts for himself before my Birthday and then he is broke
Q. I know it is wrong to have expectations of one's spouse. I am a big believer in the philosophy that our expectations determine our own happiness. I am trying to work on myself when it comes to this concept and even my therapist agrees with me that ...
A. 18 March 2013: Well nothing's going to change unless you tell him how you feel about the way he treats you. You're effectively giving him permission to continue this behaviour.... (read in full...)
How can I support my wife to consider resuming sexual relations with me? My Wife will not have sex with me and it hurts :(
Q. It's like 3:30 in the morning right now, my wife is sleeping next to me and I need to get some advice and get this off my chest. Age is a good start I think, gives people an idea of what your looking at. I'm 28, I workout and I would say I'm a at...
A. 14 March 2013: All i can suggest is counselling.
I know exactly what you're going through as I was in the same situation for years. I honestly don't know if it's possible for a woman to change in the way you want her to, but if you go down the counsell... (read in full...)
Is it selfish to remain single for life and not believe in love?
Q. I'm a 20 year old female who has resorted to wanting to remain a virgin and stay single for life. Although I've never been in a relationship, they just do not appeal to me. Because of my slight insecurities with myself (naturally lanky, no curves ...
A. 14 March 2013: If you wish to remain single, that's absolutely fine. You should be under no obligation to society to be paired up with anyone.
Are you happy being by yourself? If you are, then go for it! There are certain things that single people can do that ... (read in full...)
My wife is not responding sexually to me and her boss has been trying it on her.
Q. A little background. My wife and I have been together for over 8 years now and our relationship is a very good one! We do a lot together and have loads of fun together. Recently our sex life has dwindled down to once every 3 weeks to a month. It ...
A. 13 March 2013: I would be furious if this happened to me. Why is she still working for him? Surely she should move jobs for the sake of your marriage, to protect it from predators like her boss.
Seriously, how can you be happy with her working for him?... (read in full...)
Are there guys that wait till marriage?
Q. Are there virgin guys out there that want to wait till marriage with someone they really love? I feel very disappointed and alone when all I see is jerky guys and pregnant teens. People are so slutty and cold hearted these days. ...
A. 13 March 2013: There are some men who will wait, but it tends to be for religious reasons.... (read in full...)
Can we salvage this relationship?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about 16 months now. The first 6-8 months were wonderful, but the progression started slowing down after that. Specifically here are the issues we are trying to work on: 1) She tells me I don't have much of a r...
A. 13 March 2013: Make arrangements immediately for her to meet your parents.
Spend more time with her and her son - they come as a package i'm afraid.
Why is she asking for your passwords? That seems a little odd. You are entitled to have private email co... (read in full...)
My own GF won't give me a blowjob and I feel she's not really in to me.
Q. Hi, I know this is a touchy subject when it comes to women. I've read previous questions about this issue and I've witnessed how the female answerers pounce on the male poster as if he was asking something so vile and disgusting. Let me start b...
A. 12 March 2013: It sounds to me like she's not that into you. It seems like she doesn't really want intimacy with you on any level. Would be a deal-breaker for me.... (read in full...)
My Gf over-reacts. How can I calm things down? And how to get her to give ME attention, she starts to lose perspective?
Q. So I want to know how to deal with my girlfriend when she overreacts to the little things I say or do. Usually she's in a good mood but every now and then, she gets pretty irritable and is bothered by the most trivial of things, and when this hap...
A. 12 March 2013: Some people are just like this. The chances are it's just how she is and won't ever change. Talk to her and tell her you're not happy with this behaviour. If it doesn't change, my advice is to leave her. There are plenty of nicer people out there... (read in full...)
Do I put up with her behaviour? I don't know what to do as I've never experienced such behaviour before.
Q. I am a guy in a 1 year 2 month relationship with a woman with 2 kids 15 and 18. My GF is 42 yo. We are in love and have talked about getting married and having a child although recently she shared that she wont be able to have child after bein...
A. 12 March 2013: I don't know why she doesn't want you to go home, but she's insecure about something.
Personally i don't think any amount of not speaking to someone is acceptable, but that's just me.
Her behaviour towards you is not good at all. I wouldn't ... (read in full...)
I overhear people saying 'why is she with him' because I'm just an average guy whereas she is beautiful inside and out, should I ask my girlfriend what she saw in me?
Q. I have been dating this beautiful girl for abt a year now!she's nice,kinda,a well educated woman she's working at a hospital..she's beautiful not only on the outside but also the inside and that's what attracted me to her! But the only thing that ...
A. 8 March 2013: There are lots of things that make someone attractive to someone else. It's not just about looks!
Whatever does it for your girlfriend, you've obviously got it!... (read in full...)
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