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... Send *ensitiveBloke a private message | | | *ensitiveBloke's profile:I am a Christian and my life experiences and advice are shaped by my faith.
I always try to offer advice that lines up with the Bible's teachings on relationships.
I'm a passionate believer in marriage, and will always encourage husbands and wives to do everything they possibly can to make their marriages work.
I'm not here to force my views on anyone, but I hope I can give genuinely helpful advice whenever possible. |
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My boyfriend's children are not invited to my family's events. How can I handle this?
Q. I have a small predicament that I could do with some help with. Myself and my fella have been together over 18 months. He has 2 kids and we all love each other to bits. My parents took a long time to accept it but they have now. The only prob...
A. 17 January 2013: You need to press the question: why are his kids not welcome? It's time to show some solidarity with your man and say if his kids aren't welcome and other people's kids are then we're not coming.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is too clingy. What can I do?
Q. What would you do if your significant other always clings on to you and wants to always touch you when you're in public places? It's slightly annoying but if I say anything he'd get upset. ...
A. 17 January 2013: It sounds like physical touch is one of his 'love languages' but not one of yours. You are going to need to come to some sort of comprimise with him. To him, his behaviour is showing love to you, but to you it's just annoying. The trouble is, ... (read in full...)
I can't stop masturbating even though as a Christian I know its wrong
Q. I really need help, i am a 15 year old Christian girl and i have a serious masturbation problem, i try to stop because of beliefs in my religion but when the urge is present i just cant stop i find that i like to watch porn while i do it and i know ...
A. 14 January 2013: Ok, Jesus said that looking at someone lustfully was like having adultery with them in your heart. This is what you're doing when you're masturbating, cos you're not thinking about flowers, right?
The best way to stop is to find an older Christia... (read in full...)
How long do I wait for my husband to make up for a terrible 20th anniversary weekend?
Q. Married 20 years, received only a handful of birthday, anniversary, special occasion gifts. Read all the help columns and told husband exactly what I wanted for anniversary which was a week trip so we could reconnect. I started planning and he said ...
A. 14 January 2013: Well obviously his hobby is more important to him than you cos that's what he spends his time on. It should be the other way round, him taking you away for several days a month. Explain this to him. If his hobby stops him spending a decent amount of ... (read in full...)
Is this a case of cultural differences? Is my wife blowing this out of proportion? Is there a right and a wrong in all this?
Q. When my wife and I fight, nine times out of ten it has to do with my parents. I feel like it usually comes down to a cultural issue. Im from SC and my wife is from Oregon. We currently live in my hometown in SC. My entire family lives within an ...
A. 11 January 2013: Your parents undermined your wife's authority as a mum when they did something she specifically asked them not too concerning her daughter. You should have supported your wife in this, but because you didn't you are also guilty of undermining ... (read in full...)
Ruined meal! I am disappointed with my friends and I don't know how to tell them how much. What can I do?
Q. I know there are people on here with real problems but if you could please take a minute to read my post I'd appreciate it. I feel really let down and annoyed by my so called friends. The 4 of us were trying to arrange a meal out before Chr...
A. 27 December 2012: Let me get this right: your friends treat you badly and you don't think you should say anything in case they don't like it?
For goodness sake, you're not their servant or mother. Put your foot down and tell them you're not happy to have them rou... (read in full...)
Is this textbook shy-guy behavior?
Q. I had a date with a shy guy (he even admits to being shy)... Introverted around people in general. I'm an introverted person too so I was expecting that our date would be filled with silences. However, our date was a lot of fun and we had many ...
A. 19 December 2012: Sounds like shy guy behaviour to me. I wouldn't think most people would make a move after only one date anyway.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has outbursts of anger but says he's only expressing himself. These episodes make me uncomfortable!
Q. So I asked a question about my boyfriend a couple of days ago. We're on holiday and he was telling me my top was see-through. We got over that and had a really nice day, sightseeing and enjoying our time together. Then yesterday he wanted to go and ...
A. 17 December 2012: I would not be happy for my girlfriend to go around wearing revealing clothes, but I would NOT handle it the way your boyfriend has. He's a psycho, make no mistake. When you get back home, end this relationship immediately. You deserve SO much ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my husband or not? I don't know how he will survive if I leave him....
Q. I have to make a decision regarding leaving my husband. We have been together 18 years and have no children. Life prior to marrying was magical. I could not fault him in the least but on returning from our honeymoon he became grumpy and sulle...
A. 17 December 2012: I would suggest you both go and see a marriage counsellor. Maybe they can help him understand what he's turned into. His life has stuck in a rut. He must get himself a job to give him back his dignity for starters. Then things can maybe develop fr... (read in full...)
Now I'm being punished for what goes on in her mind only!
Q. For the past two years or so, my girlfriends insecurity has got worse and worse. I am constantly told who I am looking at, who I find attractive and told I am flirting with everyone she believes I find attractive. I have put up with a lot. I now ...
A. 13 December 2012: She's bonkers. Leave her.... (read in full...)
My partner said I ruined his life!
Q. Hi, I feel terrible and ill because my partner has basically said i have ruined his life. We got together a few years ago in uni and had been saving for ages to get a house together. due to him being a little hot and cold (loved me but didnt...
A. 6 December 2012: How exactly have you ruined his life? Can you provide examples of things he says you've done? He is responsible for his life and happiness, not you. He needs to take responsibility for himself and stop dwelling on past disappointments.... (read in full...)
I know what I'm doing with my best friend is wrong but my wife doesn't get me the way she does.
Q. Where should I start, ok i'll start here, I had a great friend, that friend works with my mom at a Hospital, and it was my mom that introduced us, my mom always wanted us together because shes the sweetest most gorgeous girl that you would ever lay ...
A. 5 December 2012: You need to stop seeing your friend.
Talk to your wife about her unwillingness to have sex. If nothing changes, ask her to see a (preferrably) Christian marriage counsellor with you because life can't go on like this. It's just not fair on you.... (read in full...)
Would you commit to someone who treated you like this?
Q. Hello -- I've been with a girl (30) for 15 months now. Initially everything was great, but as the months wore on, some issues have came to light. She's pushing hard for commitment; living together, marriage, kids eventually, etc, and is threatening ...
A. 3 December 2012: Get the hell outta there, boy.... (read in full...)
I love her already despite the fact we havent met yet, but will I get my heart broken?
Q. Hi, I'm not new to relationships or dealing with women, however; this is a little more complicated than I would like it to be and could use some opinions. I have a problem trying to decide if this girl is worth my time. It all started a few weeks ...
A. 3 December 2012: You're getting way ahead of yourself here.
Meet her and see what she's like in person before you start making all these plans.... (read in full...)
How long should it take before relationship becomes exclusive?
Q. We've been dating for the past 8 months. How long should it take before relationship becomes exclusive?...
A. 27 November 2012: You've been dating for 8 months and you're still not exclusive? Well if he's not sure by now he never will be, so talk to him about it.... (read in full...)
Not for revenge but for my own pleasure I'm thinking of cheating, nothing serious just a one night thing. Opinions please!
Q. My partner and I have been together for 5 years up until recently we were engaged, have 2 children and were trying for a 3rd. During this time he has cheated on me twice that I know of. The first was for the first 12 months we were together...
A. 20 November 2012: Don't cheat. That will just make things worse.
If you're both serious about making this work, get some relationship counselling together.... (read in full...)
Caught my boyfriend on dating sites, after calling me a slut and a stalker he then claims it was a virus!
Q. I have found out my boyfriend has been going on dating sites. When I asked him about it he went mad at me and started calling me a stalker, said I dont trust him because I myself am not to be trusted, called me a slut and then turned it around to ...
A. 9 November 2012: If he calls you a slut after doing all these things to you, he has no respect or love for you.
Dump him immediately. Don't waste a moment longer with this idiot.... (read in full...)
My bf and I have opposing views on money management, and he wants to get married. What should I do?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We both 23 and our relationship is great. My parents like his personality, mature minded and responsible to me. Everyone can feel his love for me. Otherwise, he comes from a middle low class family and...
A. 8 November 2012: Money differences are tricky. I think you need to sit down and look at what your goals are for the future. What are his goals? Are you both willing to make compromises to find a middle ground? These are important things and you are very sensible to ... (read in full...)
I need some general dating advice on courting an "alpha female"
Q. Cliff note: I need some general dating advice on courting an "alpha female" - you know, the independent, ambitious, and career driven woman. Let's also compound the challenge by throwing out most conventional dating wisdom because she is in medici...
A. 8 November 2012: You need to talk to her about this and tell her how you're feeling. It's early days so give it time. Ultimately if you're not happy you need to tell her why.... (read in full...)
My mother went through and cleaned my room without any warning. I feel violated, my dad says "get over it"!
Q. DearCupid Aunts, I need your opinion on something. I came home the other day to find that my mother had gone through my entire room, and cleaned it out. My drawers, all my laundry, several of my purses/backpacks, and private papers, had been...
A. 8 November 2012: Your mum should not have done what she did. Everyone is entitled to some personal space. What she should have done was either say to you "I want your room tidied by x date. If its not, then i will tidy it". Either way, she has no right to throw out ... (read in full...)
I think I'm falling in love and it scares me!
Q. I've never been one for relationships and mushy stuff, but I met a guy who made me want that. We've been together about 5 months and I think Im falling in love with him. But we're so young (both only just 18) and I feel so overwhelmed with my ...
A. 1 November 2012: You want to break up with someone because you've fallen in love with them? Isn't that the whole point of it all?!!!
Don't be scared. Tell him how you feel and how uneasy it makes you feel and see what he says. Take it from there.... (read in full...)
Shuold I stick it out with my marriage hoping things will get better?
Q. My husband is moody and we bicker all the time about things like who turn is it to do the washing up. He says he's moody because hes stressed at work, but he has been like this for the last 18 months. It is really getting me down. We never have ...
A. 23 October 2012: Maybe he is stressed at work like he says he is. If this is the case, could he change job?
It would be worth considering marriage counselling.... (read in full...)
Am I too controlling for wanting to help?
Q. Hello all, I was curious to get a second opinion on a situation. Now my girlfriend is notoriously for procrastinating, motivating herself, forgetting to do important things, and is very lazy, to the point where if I ask about something she was supp...
A. 23 October 2012: She needs to be setting her own goals rather than you setting them for her. By all means help her to do this, but ultimately she must take responsibility for herself. She's not a child anymore.... (read in full...)
Based on her response after our first date does it look like she's uninterested?
Q. I recently went out with a girl for the first time. I had a great time on the date and thought she did as well. I waited a couple days to contact her after the date to let her know I had a great time and that she was good company to be with. ...
A. 17 October 2012: Yes her response does seem a little cool. However you need to text her again and ask whether she'd like to meet up again. Only then will you know for sure.... (read in full...)
Are my fantasies bordering on mental illness?
Q. I'm kind of worried I've warped my mind through excessive pornography use over the last few years, and through meeting some people in the sex industry, and I'm looking for some advice on what to do next, as my eyes are opening to the extent of the ...
A. 12 October 2012: You have lots of hang ups and the porn and escorts are doing nothing to help!
My advice is quit the porn, quit the escorts and get out into the real world and start meeting real people. Then you stand a chance of having a real relation... (read in full...)
There's trouble in our relationship. Can it be fixed? Or is there too much to solve?
Q. WE are about a year together but last 3 month has changed everything with my boyfriend, before he was without job,last 4 month he start a new job but when that happened he became less active with me ,we talked everyday text every day, said to each ...
A. 11 October 2012: It sounds like he's really depressed. He should try to get some counselling.... (read in full...)
Does lack of sex has something to do with me being so strong?
Q. I haven't been sexually active in ten years I am still a young woman. I was wondering if not having sex could that be the reason I feel like superwoman? I have so much strength I can lift heavy things that most women would need help with. To...
A. 8 October 2012: I doubt sex has anything to do with it.... (read in full...)
Unprotected sex - how safe is it?
Q. I've been having sex with my boyfriend for a while now. During this time I've been paying close attention to my monthly cycle and we avoided having sex during the danger-zone (even with protection, I didn't want to risk it). I feel now that I know ...
A. 5 October 2012: You can get pregnant in that way so you should always use protection.... (read in full...)
I am SO in love with this girl who is my Ex Gf. But what do you guys think? She says she can't say how she feels.
Q. Hello again, my name is E.and there is this amazing girl. She is my ex Gf. Her personality is amazing we got together the day after my birthday and we stayed together for 6 months and she was 100 percent with me. she didnt lie, she didnt cheat ...
A. 4 October 2012: If she was interested in you, she wouldn't wait 3 months to get together with you, she'd do it now. You need to accept she doesn't want to be with you and move on. It will be hard but you have little choice.... (read in full...)
Is physical pleasure the most important thing about sex and does sex turn men into horny, unthinking animals?
Q. I feel alienated from people because I don't believe in casual sex and favour intimacy over physical pleasure. I've been told that my views come from immaturity and that once I have sex everything will change and I will become nothing short of a sex ...
A. 4 October 2012: Your views are actually very mature. Sex does not turn people into sex-crazed animals! ... (read in full...)
Is it because she has already done it all? She's been wild sexually in the past with others. Now she is happy with if fortnightly.
Q. I have a question and I was hoping I could get some insight from the females on here. I will try to keep it short, but I feel I have to give a little background so you guys know the full story. Both my girlfriend and I are pretty close to getting...
A. 3 October 2012: I would be a little concerned if i were you. It sounds like she no longer enjoys sex and if your drive is high it will cause you ongoing problems. You have not known her very long and i don't think you should be considering marriage yet.... (read in full...)
In am in love with this girl. How can I win her heart? She has cheated on me so many times
Q. Hi My Name is E,so there is this girl. She's Beautiful and we met right after the day of my birthday and we got together. We was in an on and off relationship. So anyways we got back together and we stayed together but then we broke up. i wanted to...
A. 3 October 2012: She's giving you pretty clear signs that she does NOT want to be your girlfriend by the fact she's been getting together with other blokes.
Get the idea right out of your head that you're too ugly to ever get another girlfriend. You've had one ... (read in full...)
How can I get my girlfriend to show anger like a normal person?
Q. My girlfriend never gets mad. She just never gets impatient or annoyed or frazzled or frustrated. It's come to the point when I just want to instigate fights to get a reaction out of her. I push her, and push and push, but she nevers gets angry. W...
A. 2 October 2012: Much better to have a patient person than an angry one. Shouting and arguing is on the whole not a good way to communicate. If she's communicating with you and telling you when she's not happy about things, then that's what's really important.... (read in full...)
In am in love with this girl. How can I win her heart? She has cheated on me so many times
Q. Hi My Name is E,so there is this girl. She's Beautiful and we met right after the day of my birthday and we got together. We was in an on and off relationship. So anyways we got back together and we stayed together but then we broke up. i wanted to...
A. 2 October 2012: She's just not interested in you. It's hard, but you need to accept it and move on.... (read in full...)
How to figure out men in their late 50's?
Q. I've been seeing someone in his late 50's and I have no idea what sort of mind games he is playing. Sometimes when I tell him I miss him, he would reply my text with a smile icon. Sometimes even though he read my "I miss you" text, he wouldn't reply ...
A. 26 September 2012: Maybe he's just not good at expressing his feelings or not good at expressing them in text messages.... (read in full...)
I cant handle all this drama anymore, is this normal behaviour for a man?
Q. My boyfriend is interested in buying a second hand suit (not really a suit, but just for the story's sake we'll say it's a suit). I went to look at it with him. It seems nice. I have a seamstress whom I trust very much. I told my boyfriend that ...
A. 26 September 2012: At the end of the day, his behaviour is odd so if you don't like it you should break up with him. End of.... (read in full...)
I always think about my ex's in my relationships and I can never be satisfied with the present, and its stopping me from falling in love! What is wrong with me?
Q. I don't know what's wrong with me, but please help me out! When I start dating a new guy, I always think about my exes and I don't feel happy because I'm thinking of/comparing him to the previous guy. It's like I can never be satisfied with the ...
A. 26 September 2012: I think you need to slow down. Take time to get to know a person really well. If you don't feel anything for them and don't fall in love with them then don't have sex with them.... (read in full...)
Contacted the wife of the Ex-Boyfriend she reconnected with on Facebook
Q. A follow up qustion from a few months ago. My wife's High School Crush and first sex partner from 18 years ago contacted her on Facebook. I posted about this a while back and my question is not about the contact itself between them. But a q...
A. 25 September 2012: Obviously he wanted to get up to some mischief with your wife. And your wife was obviously flattered and acted in a disrespectful (to you) way by replying and sending him pics of herself. ... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as true love? Does it exist?
Q. Hi. So i got a real quick question to ask. Does true love really exist? or is it just what people create when they are in public in order to hide their problems? I mean ive never experienced true love myself neither do my parents. They are always on ...
A. 24 September 2012: Yes true love does exist. All couples have their disagreements but it is definitely best to look for an amazing person to be happy with. You'll never find a perfect person, but you should never settle for someone who you don't love or who doesn't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his child are a pair of spoilt brats!
Q. Okay, so i have been with my bf for two years now, he has a 4 yr old of his own and i have a 6 and 8 yr old. My bf takes his son every weekend and whenever his son is here i dread it, i know i sound horrible but i treat all children the same so if ...
A. 24 September 2012: You were right to say no to him. It's your house and he and his dad must respect your rules. His dad is indeed trying to be his friend and not his dad, and ironically his son will respect him less for this. You have done the right thing in not ... (read in full...)
How do couples handle arguments, fights and disagreements?
Q. I am curious to know how couples handle it when they have an argument, fight, disagreement etc. Do you just go off seperately into another room to calm down afterwards? I ask because my bf and i had a argument. It was about something small ...
A. 23 September 2012: His reaction is immature but quite common. The problem with it is that you will end up not discussing important things with him for fear of him doing a runner and issues will end up being swept under the carpet where they'll fester. And if he does ... (read in full...)
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