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... Send *ensitiveBloke a private message | | | *ensitiveBloke's profile:I am a Christian and my life experiences and advice are shaped by my faith.
I always try to offer advice that lines up with the Bible's teachings on relationships.
I'm a passionate believer in marriage, and will always encourage husbands and wives to do everything they possibly can to make their marriages work.
I'm not here to force my views on anyone, but I hope I can give genuinely helpful advice whenever possible. |
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My wife's day is filled with pills, potions and quackery!
Q. Until a couple of years ago we were the average happy middle aged couple but then things began to turn for the worse. My wifes day is now spent worrying unrealistically about her health. She imagines every spot, pimple or ache is serious and needs ...
A. 4 February 2015: It sounds like she's suffering from depression.
She needs to work out some personal goals for herself, a reason to get up in the morning. Something to get excited about. This will motivate her.... (read in full...)
I am boring my husband, how do I get the fun back?
Q. Hi cupids, I'm after some advice on how to "re-attract" someone's attention. My husband and I have been together for 17 years, married for 5 years. We have 2 beautiful sons. The problem is that I feel like he is not interested in me anymore...
A. 19 December 2014: It sounds like your marriage is stuck in a rut and bogged down by all the responsibilities.
When was the last time the two of you had a night out, just the two of you?
Lots of couples find having a "date" once a week works wonders as you g... (read in full...)
13 months since we broke up and I still want him back. What are the chances that we could resume our relationship?
Q. My ex and I split up last year after a five year relationship. Like every relationship it had its ups and downs, but far more ups than downs. We had just moved into a house I had bought. When he asked to split up it broke me to pieces but I had ...
A. 19 December 2014: He does not want to be with you. You must accept this.
Why on earth are you letting him keep his stuff at your house? He's using you. You're not together anymore, so get him to move all his gear out ASAP so you can move on with your life.
... (read in full...)
I am also fed up with his manipulative ex girlfriend
Q. I've been following a recent post here titled 'Annoyed with his manipulative ex'. I'm in a similar situation. To give a little back ground. My current boyfriend was in a relationship with his ex for about 3 years. He says that even from the start of...
A. 18 December 2014: I don't think he wants to get back with her, but he needs to realise that he's in a relationship with you now. That means he can't be there for her anymore and she needs to find someone else to lean on, or become more self-reliant.... (read in full...)
Like cinderella I want to go to the party, but instead of an ugly sister an ex friend will be there!
Q. Hi ive been invited to my partners office party. I feel nervous as have not met any of his friends or wives/ partners. My major problem is a ex friend of mine and his who he also was very close to will be going as she used to work there and her ...
A. 18 December 2014: Do you have to go to this party? Your partner might not be too bothered about you not going if you explain why.... (read in full...)
I'm dating someone with kids so that means I'll be alone for all the holidays and events happening in his family
Q. I've always gotten good advice here before so I'm back again. I'm just wondering why it is so hard to be ina relationship with somebody who has baggage? Has anybody been in this situation before? Maybe dated somebody that has kids? It's very hard ...
A. 18 December 2014: I don't really understand why he has to be around his ex's house whenever he wants to spend time with his kids.
You say the kids are young, but man can look after young children too. When it's his time to have them, they come with him round to... (read in full...)
I'm a cheater trapped in a sexless marriage and my wife has cancer. I'm at a breaking point here...help me please!
Q. My wife and I have had a sexless marriage since shortly after marriage in 2003. This made me feel alone and unwanted so I started cheating to fill this void. Everything else in our relationship was fine and we had two children within a few years. ...
A. 18 December 2014: I'm very sorry to hear your story, and I don't think there are any easy answers.
Unfortunately many people get trapped in sexless marriages. They want to stay faithful to their wedding vows about staying with their spouse for life, but then the... (read in full...)
What are my rights and my rights to items my parents have given me, if I move out of home? I fear that my parents may disown me if I move in with my older brother.
Q. Three years ago my parents kicked my older brother out because he is gay. Basically they told me not to have any contact with him what so ever. My brother keeps in touch with me with e-mails but i no longer use the computer at home because my paren...
A. 17 December 2014: I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you've been having. Whoever legally owns your stuff, your parents would find a way of stopping you from getting your hands on it. If you really need to get away from them (which it sounds like you do), I sugge... (read in full...)
He keeps thinking I am flirting when I am not!
Q. Hi everyone so recently I got into an argument with my boyfriend. The main thing is that he keeps on thinking that I'm flirting with guys when I'm actually not. If I wanted to flirt around I wouldnt have chosen to date him cuz its plain wrong ...
A. 16 December 2014: If you're both so unsure about your relationship, maybe it's best you called it a day.... (read in full...)
My wife's day is filled with pills, potions and quackery!
Q. Until a couple of years ago we were the average happy middle aged couple but then things began to turn for the worse. My wifes day is now spent worrying unrealistically about her health. She imagines every spot, pimple or ache is serious and needs ...
A. 16 December 2014: Sounds like you need to find some counselling that actually offers solutions, or at least things to try.
Does your wife have any hobbies? If not, help her to take one up as this could really help.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't bothered by keeping me waiting.
Q. I will keep this short. My boyfriend does not see anything wrong with keeping me waiting. I will say "I can be to your house at 7, does that sound good"?He will say yes and a lot of the time when I get there he is just getting in the shower. He ...
A. 16 December 2014: He complains that you're trying to change him, but he is perfectly capable to being ready on time for things he thinks are important, like work. So good timekeeping is something he is well capable of, so you are not trying to change him in this ... (read in full...)
I feel suffocated but can't say anything becausethey will be hurt!
Q. Hi all I am a student studying abroad for the past two years. I have grown up enjoying a healthy and close relationship with my parents and family. But unlike the rest of my family I am a complete introvert. I am an artist so I go into these phase...
A. 15 December 2014: I think most adults in their early twenties would find it a bit much talking to their parents abroad every day!
My wife speaks to her parents abroad once a week.
As Honeypie said, maybe something like twice a week might work better.
The b... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't bothered by keeping me waiting.
Q. I will keep this short. My boyfriend does not see anything wrong with keeping me waiting. I will say "I can be to your house at 7, does that sound good"?He will say yes and a lot of the time when I get there he is just getting in the shower. He ...
A. 15 December 2014: It is very inconsiderate for someone to be late all the time. They are basically saying that your time is unimportant because they don't care if they waste it.
It's a sign of selfishness.
It is your boyfriend, not you, who is being controllin... (read in full...)
I told him I wanted more but now I miss him like crazy
Q. I met this guy in class. He's 23 and I'm 21. We got along so well and I felt really comfortable with him. He got my number because we planned to do a study group with 2 other people and from there he started texting me everyday. He asked me to hang ...
A. 10 December 2014: He doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, just something casual. If you need more than that, you should stop seeing him.... (read in full...)
Would every man cheat if he could?
Q. I have big problems trusting men One of my friends claims that almost every man would cheat on his wife if given the opportunity to with a woman with a porn star body if he could be guaranteed not to be caught The sad thing is I think she might ...
A. 9 December 2014: No, not all men would cheat.... (read in full...)
I want to initiate contact!
Q. I go running at the park nearby. There is a guy who has shown interest in me multiple times. I am also somewhat attracted to him. I have never spoken to him but he must be married and in his late 30's or early 40's. I am also married and I will turn ...
A. 9 December 2014: He's married. You're married. End of.... (read in full...)
Can you change a bad boy?
Q. Dear cupid, i just want to understand this. Is it possible to change a bad boy. Like he drinks a lot and has two kids with two different woman, he owns his own business and has lots of friend who they enjoy top life.ive seen all this on his facebook ...
A. 9 December 2014: You cannot change a person. You should never go into a relationship thinking you can. It's one of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships.
Find someone who you can be happy with just the way they are. Then you have a good chance of succe... (read in full...)
After five years he still won't commit to a date for marriage or children
Q. I am a 29 year old woman, and I've been with my boyfriend for 5 and a half years now. My problem is, he can't tell me when he sees us getting married or having children. Each time I have asked him, he says things like 'I don't know', 'not any time ...
A. 9 December 2014: It sounds like he has no interest in marriage or having children. If he doesn't know by now, he probably never will.
I thinks it's time to move on and find someone who has the same life goals as you.... (read in full...)
How to hide teen hard-ons?
Q. Quick note: I have searched the site A TON already, and can't find anything useful on this, and desperately need help. Hello DC, I'm in a bit of a pickle... I'm 15, and "well endowed" so to speak, at 7 inches. In my gym class, we have to wea...
A. 4 December 2014: From your post, it seems like you're wearing boxer shorts for underwear? That's the problem. You need to wear something that will hold your private parts firmly in place, like some sturdy briefs or sports underwear.
Whenever you get a hard-on,... (read in full...)
I had an affair, he broke it off and now has sent me an email. Do I reply to it?
Q. I am married with 2 children. Last August, my relationship with my husband was not great at all and I met someone who totally swept me off my feet. I wasn't looking for the opportunity, it just happened. I wasn't proud of myself and, in hindsight, I ...
A. 3 December 2014: You would be opening a can of worms. Don't contact him.
Instead address the issues in your marriage. Go to marriage counselling if you need to. Do whatever it takes. For your sake, your husband's sake and your children's sake.... (read in full...)
I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years but am looking...am I bored?
Q. My partner and I have been together for 6yrs he is loving and caring wants me for the rest of his life and I am not sure. I am very attracted to man at the sports club I go to and would like to know him more....no overtures from him yet but I know t...
A. 3 December 2014: Don't start a new relationship while you're still in one.
And don't stay with someone just because you have no-one else to move in with.
First of all, deal with the issues in your relationship with your partner. If you still aren't happy aft... (read in full...)
The Loyal ex or New exciting danger love?
Q. Hi everyone! Im sorry if this is long I really need some good advice or anything. So, im really having a hard time deciding what to do about my current relationship. I met a guy online and we hit it off right away. After our first date we kn...
A. 2 December 2014: Your current boyfriend is a cheat, so dump him now. You will have nothing but trouble with him.
After you've left him, then decide whether you want to give it a go with your old flame. If you find he doesn't excite you and you feel that somethin... (read in full...)
I know that my boyfriend didn't do anything wrong but just running into his ex ruined our night and his behavior didn't make things any better
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years. 2 girls before me, he dated a girl for around 3 or 4 years. They've been broken up for over 5 years now. They had an awful relationship where they fought, physically and verbally. She pretty ...
A. 28 November 2014: He reacted the way he did because he still has feelings for her - feelings of hatred, because of how she treated him. Of course he didn't want to be there.
You shouldn't have got angry with him over this. You should have been angry at her, not... (read in full...)
He's 29, I'm 20. I don't know if I can trust him. Should I trust him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6-8 months now. On our sixth month, we broke up for about a month. No contact at all. Then we got back together. He told me that during our break up he slept with this other girl. Slept with her a coup...
A. 27 November 2014: If you're concerned about anything in a relationship, it's always good to talk about it with your partner. That's how the relationship grows and trust is built.... (read in full...)
He's 29, I'm 20. I don't know if I can trust him. Should I trust him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6-8 months now. On our sixth month, we broke up for about a month. No contact at all. Then we got back together. He told me that during our break up he slept with this other girl. Slept with her a coup...
A. 26 November 2014: Why did you break up in the first place?... (read in full...)
She's taking dancing lessons with her ex!
Q. My girlfriend of about 4 months teaches ballroom dancing, and is still learning -of course. Overall, our relationship is good -- we acknowledge we love each other all the time. I don't dance, but that's ok. Here's the problem. Once a week she driv...
A. 25 November 2014: I wouldn't feel comfortable about it if I was in your shoes, and your girlfriend really ought to go somewhere else for her lessons given her history with this guy. It's the sensible thing to do.... (read in full...)
Is he asking me on a date?
Q. There's this guy I work with and I was talking to him over snapchat messaging. he was talking about how he got a new car. I was like "can I please drive it?!" N he says yea sure "if u buy me dinner." N I said "hey no fair. I'm driving and buying ...
A. 25 November 2014: I don't know whether it was as a friend or as a date, but he was trying to ask you out. If you'd like to go out for dinner with him, get back to him and suggest a day and place and see what he says.... (read in full...)
How important is 'the spark' in a relationship?
Q. How important is 'the spark' in a relationship? I ask because I've had a few relationships, but only had the spark with 2 guys - one was my first love and the second was another ex. He was no different really from any of my other relationships bu...
A. 25 November 2014: Having the spark is very important. You will be forever longing after it if you stay with you current boyfriend, and that's not fair on you or him.
Let your boyfriend be with someone who finds him exciting by releasing him and yourself.... (read in full...)
When it comes to sex she calls the shots
Q. My girlfriend Is controlling sexually she keeps rejecting me every time if try to have sex. It's destroying our relationship so much, I try to talk she won't We have sex 1time a month on her command. It is destroying my masculinity Help me flip...
A. 21 November 2014: Sit down and talk to her about it, but I'm afraid it probably won't make any difference. Some women (and men) just aren't interested in sex. You could do everything in the world to woo and please her and she still might not be interested. Sorry.... (read in full...)
How I should react when he finds interest in other women of the friendly company?
Q. I continue to have interest in the man that we are still just friends. Although i like the feeling that we are friends and so there is a sensation of freedom, relax, and no need to worry about subjects of relationship on the other hand i can't stop ...
A. 21 November 2014: I think you should pluck up the courage and ask him out.... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel disappointed in your relationship?Should a partner make you feel special somehow? And what if they don't?
Q. Is it normal to feel disappointed in your relationship? I've been with my bf for 4 years. He asked me to marry him 2 1/2 years ago and I felt shocked as marriage was never something I wanted with anyone at all, which he knew. I didn't want to upset...
A. 21 November 2014: Your partner does sound uncaring and unsupportive. What you are wanting is not at all unreasonable.... (read in full...)
I'm shattered, horrified,torn apart because my daughter just told me she's a bisexual
Q. Hi, I'm shattered, torn apart. I can't seem to function. Just caught my daughter kissing a girl. Horrified, livid. I can't seem to accept my 16 yr old daughter telling me she is bisexual. I'm still 2 days later so angry wth her, calling her so ...
A. 21 November 2014: I can understand your shock, but calling her names and telling her how disgusting you find her isn't going to help either of you. You may drive her away completely.... (read in full...)
I don't know how to bring it up calmly and not make it sound like I'm attacking my boyfriend's erectile issues
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for several months now, and he's very sweet and caring and loving. But we have not had sex yet, like the real deal start to finish. He has a problem getting and keeping it up, a problem that he's already seeking professi...
A. 21 November 2014: He was hoping that doing what he did would help him firm up. Because it didn't work, he probably won't try it again so I wouldn't mention it.... (read in full...)
Is he horrible or mentally ill?
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for two years and it was great for 6 months but then something horrible happened to me and I became extremely depressed. My partner helped me through that although at times it was awful, I didn't know if it was all my ...
A. 19 November 2014: He's a psycho. Maybe he is mentally ill.
Tell him to stop contacting you. Stop all contact with him and block his number from your phone.
Get a restraining order if you have to.... (read in full...)
Would telling him I'm going on a date with someone get his attention?
Q. theres a guy i like and would love it if he asked me out but i need to get his attention first. we are friends he said he liked me before but didnt do anything about it we do fun friend flirting that doesnt mean anything asfar as i know ,im too ...
A. 19 November 2014: You don't want to start a relationship with a lie. Relationships must be built on trust.... (read in full...)
Love him but he's very abusive when angry
Q. I'm on my last bit of hope for my relationship. I have been going out with my boyfriend 2 years and like any relationship we have our ups and downs. I figured out pretty soon in the relationship that he was very verbally aggressive in arguments and ...
A. 17 November 2014: Until he accepts he has a problem, he won't change.
You need to get out of this relationship before something really nasty happens.... (read in full...)
A love that hurts at times
Q. Ok so long story short, I met the love of my life 8 months ago. I say the love of my life and you're probably asking why I'm on here... I need help from your opinions on understanding a few things.. Mainly the women using this. First of all.. The ...
A. 17 November 2014: This all sounds very intense. At 8 months, you are still in the exciting "honeymoon" stage of your relationship where you hormones are on overdrive and you feel excited. This will naturally calm down as time goes on. I think you need to back off... (read in full...)
Communication is becoming impossible!
Q. She asks "Would you like a biscuit" - I answer "yes please, just one" - "but you normally have two" - "yes but I'm not hungry, just one would be nice" - "You don't like my biscuits ?" - "yes but I'm not hungry" - "I've spent all this time cooking ...
A. 14 November 2014: I suspect she's unhappy with many things about you.
If she's acting like this now, you can expect this kind of behaviour to continue because this is how she communicates. You're in for a rocky ride with this relationship. Are you prepared to be tr... (read in full...)
In a marriage, would you be happier with the person you love or the person that loves you?
Q. This is an age old question but I would like to poll a question. In a marriage, would you be happier with the person you love or the person that loves you? (Note that it's a one-sided love. You may care for the other person but I am referring to ...
A. 13 November 2014: I think you'd be happier with a person you love than one who loves you.
However both of these situations are bad, and it would be better to be single.... (read in full...)
Men, would you see her as girlfriend material if she doesn't have a connection to family or friends?
Q. To the men of dear cupid. What would you think of a woman who doesn't have much support in life? Say if most of her blood family were no longer emotionally invested in her and some of the members treated her poorly. Would you take her seri...
A. 13 November 2014: I think it depends on how these circumstances have affected you. If you're outgoing, confident and happy, it will make little difference. However if you're moody, depressed and complain a lot, this would be a turn-off.... (read in full...)
Text to an ex? I quit smoking!
Q. Ok so a guy I was seeing broke things off when he realised I smoked (really anti smoking as a close family member died) and he couldn't be with a smoker. A bit on I am thinking if sending him the below txt, thoughts? Hey, I just wanted to sen...
A. 13 November 2014: Congratulations on quitting!
No harm in messaging him, but he may be concerned you'll fall back into the habit of smoking as many do.... (read in full...)
Am I expecting too much not to be moaned at?
Q. Hi I'm 21 and I have a husband and a 8 my month old little boy. I am in serious need of some guidance. Basically it been married to my husband for 4 months now and he's making me feel like I don't do enough. I get up in the night to feed our baby, I ...
A. 13 November 2014: He sounds very lazy. He should be sharing the chores 50/50 with you if he's not working.... (read in full...)
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