New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Was it a one night stand or does he have other plans?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends with Benefits, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 May 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 31 May 2013)
A female Russian Federation age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So I went home to my sister's wedding and I met this guy, he is Danish, anyway, we end up getting so drunk and we spent all the wedding day together, to make things short I went back to his hotel room and we had sex. I was actually the one that coaxed him too, he seemed a little bit intimidated by the whole process but hey I never thought this was going to happen. We ha a lot of fun.

BUT....

2 days later he called me. Yes, he asked for my phone number the next morning and I gave it to him, but I never expected that he was going to call me, that's not the standard procedure, I was expecting a nightstand and that's it. So he called and asked if I wanted to have dinner with him before he leaves, I accepted and we are going this weekend.

I asked my sister's friend about him and he told me he is not the nighstand kind of guy, you know he is not a 20 year old idiot he is 35 years old. Do you think that was really not a nightstand for him? He got a divorce two years ago and has not been in a relationship ever since. He lives in Germany ( and I do too) because of his work. My sister suspects that maybe he saw me before someplace and liked me, but my sisters friend never told me anything about it.

What do you think? I usually dont trust men, I've had horrible experiences, but I dont want to just tell him because I dont to scare him off you know?

View related questions: divorce, drunk, one night stand, wedding

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2013):

SensitiveBloke agony auntIf you don't usually trust men and have had bad experiences in the past, it would be much better not to sleep with people so quickly! Get to know people well first and take things slowly!

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (30 May 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntRELAX is KEY agreed.

As for why he called

he asked for your number

you say you "coaxed him" to the activity and he was not comfortable so ONS are probably not in his activity...

I would enjoy the date this weekend and expect nothing else other than a pleasant time. It's a DATE NO WORRIES...

and maybe he just wants to get laid one more time before going home...

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (30 May 2013):

I for one am surprised that he called, which is very atypical for a man after a one night stand. I would be even more surprised if it lasted more than a month.....

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, sugarplum786 South Africa +, writes (30 May 2013):

sugarplum786 agony auntGo ahead and date him. he seems decent enough and does not think of you as a one night stand, he just might be a keeper. Relax and enjoy. If you want something meaningful I suggest you hold the sex and get to know one another or he just might think that was all you wanted - a man for sex.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2013):

He wants to have one more one night stand before he goes back. So, you can go and enjoy your dinner and the time you spend, with sex to end things, or you can decline his invitation.

Or you could go and have dinner and not have sex. If the guy is really into you, he will contact you later on and move mountains to get to know you better and a possible relationship if you are interested.

Just go and have fun and don't have any expectations.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2013):

He sounds like he'd like to get to know you more... The fact that you had to coax him to a one night stand says his intentions are noble

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2013):

If he didn't have any interest, he wouldn't have followed up to get a phone number. He even used it!!!

You trusted him enough to go back to his hotel room and have sex with him. So trust him enough to go out to dinner. Stop thinking miles ahead of the present. He only asked you for a dinner date.

You received a positive endorsement of his character from your sister. He was invited as a guest at your sister's wedding. He didn't strangle you in your sleep in his hotel room.

Can he trust you? You're the one with man-trust issues; and YOU aggressively approached HIM for sex. I'd say he was in the more vulnerable position here.

No one mentioned anything more serious than dinner. Normally that comes before sex.

Have a wonderful time!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (30 May 2013):

eyeswideopen agony auntRelax and enjoy your date. keyword:relax

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Was it a one night stand or does he have other plans?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0156247999984771!