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... Send *ensitiveBloke a private message | | | *ensitiveBloke's profile:I am a Christian and my life experiences and advice are shaped by my faith.
I always try to offer advice that lines up with the Bible's teachings on relationships.
I'm a passionate believer in marriage, and will always encourage husbands and wives to do everything they possibly can to make their marriages work.
I'm not here to force my views on anyone, but I hope I can give genuinely helpful advice whenever possible. |
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I want to call off the engagement! I'm freaking out!
Q. I am freaking out! I am getting married next month and... I don't want to!! I want to call this engagement off! It's not that I don't love my bf, it's just that this whole marriage thing is scaring the hell out of me. So many things can go wrong in...
A. 31 August 2012: If you're not sure about getting married then don't. I know this will cause inconvenience for many people, but it's such an important decision. You must both be 100% sure you wanna do this. You must be completely open with your partner and explain ... (read in full...)
I'm not depressed but I feel so numb!
Q. For the last few years i've felt incredibly numb and emotionaless, i'm not depressed, i'm genuinly a happy person, but I feel like I dont really have any emotions when it comes to major things in my life. I started feeling like this when the pe...
A. 31 August 2012: If you've had your second baby in the last year or two, your hormones could still not be quite right. It's quite common to feel different for this and no other reason.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend feels like she has to chose between invitation from a large family or seeing me!
Q. my girlfriend and i are in college together. lately we've been having problems related to her family. her parents both come from large families, and each of them was one of at least four siblings, so she has tons of cousins, many with their own f...
A. 31 August 2012: Her family sound controlling. Everyone is entitled to a social life of their own. She needs to be strong and just attend those events she feels are most important. It is her family who are being selfish.... (read in full...)
My best friend's girlfriend made him break all contact with me, and he did! I'm hurt and don't know what to do.
Q. I had a Friend who was one of my best friends. In fact he was more like the little brother I never had. About a month or so ago, he got back with his ex, who had cheated on him in the past. He said at the time, he felt like he was making a huge mi...
A. 29 August 2012: If someone was texting my girlfriend calling her babe and sweetheart, i wouldn't be very happy, i can tell you! Men and women have to keep a respectful distance if the other person has a partner.... (read in full...)
Our anniversary is on a Thursday but he wants to go out on Saturday. Why?
Q. it's me and my boyfriends 1 year anniversary next month. I mentioned it and he said he'd already planned to take me to a certain restaurant I like so I'm happy that he's put some thought into it. our anniversary falls on a Thursday but he wants to ...
A. 29 August 2012: It's quite common to go out on a saturday as presumably neither of you have work the next day so you can have a nice long evening and stay up late without having to be in bed early because of work the following day. I would expect you would want to ... (read in full...)
I'm staring at the dissolution of my marriage...
Q. Hey guys its been a while since I last posted. I thought everything would come along well with my wife and I but I'm sadly mistaken. She has really turned against me. It all started just after she left for her 9 week holiday. She started saying...
A. 29 August 2012: I'm sorry to hear this. It must be incredibly painful for you. Don't do anything rash or stupid. Hold your head high and act with dignity. I wish you all the best.... (read in full...)
His actions have made me want to run a mile. He's started being so selfish. What to do?
Q. My boyfriend and I recently got a new job. The job is run on a set shift pattern basis, I chose a pattern that adapted well to both our lives (he plays sport some weekends etc) so that we could both do what we wanted to do without compromi...
A. 29 August 2012: It's healthy for a relationship to still do some things by yourself or with your friends without your partner. It keeps your own sense of identity and your friends. Don't do this out of spite but do it because it's a good thing to do. Spending lots ... (read in full...)
His actions have made me want to run a mile. He's started being so selfish. What to do?
Q. My boyfriend and I recently got a new job. The job is run on a set shift pattern basis, I chose a pattern that adapted well to both our lives (he plays sport some weekends etc) so that we could both do what we wanted to do without compromi...
A. 29 August 2012: So he thought he'd picked a shift you'd be happy with? If so then the worst thing he's guilty of is not being very clever. It's hard to understand without seeing the details but maybe that's all it is?... (read in full...)
What's wrong with me? I cheated on my Gf last night and never felt guilty about it. Is it something within me?
Q. I really don't know what's wrong with me and i hate what i am doing. I am 27 and i have always been a ladies man, to say. I don't know what my problem is. I have always enjoyed going out and meeting girls in bars and having fun. I am a good ...
A. 29 August 2012: You need to come clean with your girlfriend too and apologise. I agree that you're just not ready to settle down yet.... (read in full...)
When a man treats his woman well: When did it become okay to commit or marry but then show no interest in a sex life with your man?
Q. I am talking about women in serious relationships who act like their man has no right to expect a decent sex life from them. Before you jump on me with the claws out, please listen to what I am saying and what I am not. I am not saying anyth...
A. 27 August 2012: Many men are not selfish but try everything to make their wives happy and yet the wives still feel they can always say no to sex and that's ok. Other women are treated terribly by their husbands and still want sex!... (read in full...)
I'm 26 with no dating experience
Q. Hi i am a 26 eyar old man, and i have no relationship experience, i mean i haven't even kissed a girl yet. I have only been dating a girl for a few months with no success. What can i do?i get really nervous when i like a girl and that makes ...
A. 27 August 2012: Your approach is probably fine. Keep up your circle of friends. Do things that will help to meet new people too and give it time. Have you considered dating websites?... (read in full...)
I love my wife but I am not sure I can live with her because of her slovenly habits
Q. I have been married for 20 years and each year my frustration grows. The basis of my frustration involves seemingly insignificant things which, over time, grow into issues for me. Let me give three examples: 1) Laundry My wife does not ...
A. 27 August 2012: This is not an uncommon thing. It's down to pure laziness and selfishness because she obviously doesn't care how you feel. My ex-wife was like this as is a work colleague's wife. I have no idea how you can get her to change. If other things are good ... (read in full...)
I'm 26 with no dating experience
Q. Hi i am a 26 eyar old man, and i have no relationship experience, i mean i haven't even kissed a girl yet. I have only been dating a girl for a few months with no success. What can i do?i get really nervous when i like a girl and that makes ...
A. 24 August 2012: The best way to build your confidence is to get out with friends as often as you can. The more conversations you have socially, the more confident and interesting you will become.... (read in full...)
When a man treats his woman well: When did it become okay to commit or marry but then show no interest in a sex life with your man?
Q. I am talking about women in serious relationships who act like their man has no right to expect a decent sex life from them. Before you jump on me with the claws out, please listen to what I am saying and what I am not. I am not saying anyth...
A. 24 August 2012: My understanding is that the sex drive for women can vary enormously from woman to woman. Some women are simply not interested in sex full stop. Others crave it. I think it's fundamentally determined by physiology. The partner obviously can have ... (read in full...)
When a man treats his woman well: When did it become okay to commit or marry but then show no interest in a sex life with your man?
Q. I am talking about women in serious relationships who act like their man has no right to expect a decent sex life from them. Before you jump on me with the claws out, please listen to what I am saying and what I am not. I am not saying anyth...
A. 23 August 2012: I know exactly how you feel as i was in the same situation myself. I don't understand why some women do this, but some women HATE having sex with their partner if they don't desire them and they believe you are being selfish for asking them to do ... (read in full...)
Five dates and no chemistry? Are my dating expectations unrealistic? Any thoughts on what to do?
Q. I need help.I am a 50year old divorced women. I went through a horrible time with my divorce that took years of my life away from me. I have tried to put one foot in front of the other in the dating world. I did not have success with online dati...
A. 22 August 2012: Stick at it and you will eventually meet someone with whom there's chemistry. It's a numbers game, and on average you need to date more than only 5 people til you find someone you really hit it off with.... (read in full...)
I'm 24 years older than him but am so attracted to him! What do I do about it?
Q. OK this is a question that I hope all you male readers out there will chime in on, as I need a man's perspective. I am a 54 year old woman, routinely told I look at least 10 years younger. I keep my hair colored, exercise every day, try not to dress ...
A. 22 August 2012: Don't let the age gap put you off. There's no reason why you can't be happy in a relationship with a big age gap. Take things a step at a time and see what happens :-)... (read in full...)
What are the best casual dating sites out there?
Q. I have tried a few of these online dating sites recently but have had no replies and windered if anyone knew the best ones to keep faith with. I stopped using photographs in the end because i was getting nowhere-i am an ugly guy-but still had no ...
A. 22 August 2012: Without seeing your photo and reading what you said about yourself, it's hard for me to judge. My first photo attracted very little interest, but on someone's advice i changed it. I got someone to take several new photos of me and i used the best ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my aunt?
Q. Hey I'm 19 years old and I live with my aunt and she strict and mean. I am in college the only one in fact but she disapproves , I'm paying for school my self so it's no money out get pockets. And the problem is she never lets me do anything like u ...
A. 22 August 2012: Your aunt sounds mentally ill.... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my aunt?
Q. Hey I'm 19 years old and I live with my aunt and she strict and mean. I am in college the only one in fact but she disapproves , I'm paying for school my self so it's no money out get pockets. And the problem is she never lets me do anything like u ...
A. 22 August 2012: She will always treat you like this while you live there so you MUST somehow find somewhere else to live. Where are your parents? Can you move in with friends?... (read in full...)
What are the best casual dating sites out there?
Q. I have tried a few of these online dating sites recently but have had no replies and windered if anyone knew the best ones to keep faith with. I stopped using photographs in the end because i was getting nowhere-i am an ugly guy-but still had no ...
A. 22 August 2012: The most important thing you need is a good photo of yourself. You don't need to have stunning good looks, but you need to smile and look happy. People make big judgements, rightly or wrongly, on what you look like, so look friendly and people will ... (read in full...)
Ffacebook issue with my LDR. Help Please!!!!!
Q. So, Im here in need of advice =) My ldr girlfriend and i are happy, i love her and she loves me. We ve been together for 3 months and I just came back from a trip to europe to see her, mom and some of her friends and she doesnt like the idea to ...
A. 22 August 2012: Good relationships need good communication. It is important to talk through anything that concerns you. If you keep sweeping problems under the carpet, they will build up and fester. It's your choice, but i strongly advise you to talk to her about ... (read in full...)
I am a cheater but is that really so bad?
Q. I am cheating on my GF. should i stop. i cant help it i like the excitement of chasing new women and when i see a beautiful woman im curious how it feels to be with her. but i like having something guaranteed at home. but people make it seem like a ...
A. 21 August 2012: If you didn't think you were doing anything wrong, you wouldn't be keeping it a secret from your girlfriend now, would you? She'll be devastated when she finds out. You moron.... (read in full...)
His Mom undermines my ability to discipline my child. We live with her. Would it be wrong to leave my Bf?
Q. I have been in a relationship for the last 3 years, the last year and a half has been nothing but an emotional roller coaster. Earlier this year we had financial troubles and so we moved back into my mother in laws house. I have a daughter...
A. 21 August 2012: Your boyfriend should be working on a plan towards getting all three of you out of there. Living with parents at the stage you're at is NOT healthy for any of you. You mother in law should butt out: you are the mother of this child, not her. It she ... (read in full...)
Ffacebook issue with my LDR. Help Please!!!!!
Q. So, Im here in need of advice =) My ldr girlfriend and i are happy, i love her and she loves me. We ve been together for 3 months and I just came back from a trip to europe to see her, mom and some of her friends and she doesnt like the idea to ...
A. 21 August 2012: It's upsetting you, so talk to her about it and let her explain how she feels about it.... (read in full...)
After nine months, and after hearing it from me, my boyfriend still hasn't said he loves me!
Q. OK I have a lovely boyfriend who treats me great, generous, affectionate goes out of his way to drive 2hrs to see me every weekend , invites me to family events and I've even been invited me to his friends wedding next year! But after 9 months he ...
A. 20 August 2012: I can understand your frustration. His actions show how he feels about you. He's being honest with you, so give him time.... (read in full...)
Does being a stay at home mom mean I have no say in this relationship??
Q. Do I have no say over anything because I am a stay at home mom and I don't make any money? Does that give my husband the right to act anyway he wants because he is the sole bread winner and I just have to except all the things he does.. He can ...
A. 20 August 2012: You are equal partners and he should treat you with the dignity you deserve. Money should have nothing to do with it.... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a cheater to end up happy with the person he cheated with?
Q. My boyfriend of six years cheated, and left me for the woman he cheated with. Although I'm past the hurt, sometime I wonder is it possible for a cheater to be happy with the person he cheated with.I wish him and her the best and hope he is a better ...
A. 20 August 2012: Yes it's possible.... (read in full...)
My friend's boyfriend is hitting on me and it's causing trouble.
Q. Hey everyone, So lately I noticed that a friends boyfriend has been checking me out a lot,like it gets really awkward..when we are hanging out he would come sit next to me and talk to me more..and you know text at night..so I decided I'm just goi...
A. 20 August 2012: Have you still got any of his texts on your phone that you can show her? Not sure what else you can do. She'll eventually find out he's untrustworthy and maybe then you'll be able to restore your friendship.... (read in full...)
How can I get her to leave me alone?
Q. There's this woman that I work with that took a liking to me. At first she would subtly show interest by asking me how I was and if I needed anything, I could ask her. I never thought anything of it so I started to talk to her on a friendly basis ...
A. 20 August 2012: It's got to the point where you need to address this head-on, so you need to speak to her about it and ask her to stop. Tell her you like her as a friend but no more than that.... (read in full...)
Too soon to share past sexual history? It scared me. Do ALL guys do this during online relationships?
Q. Is this a red flag?...I just started talking to someone I met online, and things were going great until he starts asking me about what is the most wildest and crazy thing I have done sexually. I didn't want to answer that because I feel that it ...
A. 20 August 2012: It's way too soon to be talking about that!! Maybe this guy is after fun and you're after a relationship. Seems like the other guys you've met are similar to him too. I think you need to know someone really well first before sharing intimate details ... (read in full...)
How not to be a nagging girlfriend
Q. I've realized I tend to look a lot at flaws in my boyfriend instead of looking and focusing in the good things. I remember that with my first boyfriend, everything was perfect (this was four years ago). After a very sad and painful breakup, I had ...
A. 20 August 2012: At the end of the day, you have to love someone just as they are. You cannot change someone by nagging. I'm sure you realise this and that someone's temperament is mainly determined by genetics which you have no control over. Be thankful for all the ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why is he acting this way?
Q. I met what seemed to be a really genuine guy on an online dating site. We spoke everyday for a week and arranged to meet. We had a fabulous first date and both agreed we clicked. We met up the next day and he came to my home and spent the night ...
A. 20 August 2012: You've rushed into things waaaaay too quickly here! Telling him all your demons on your 3rd meeting was too much too soon for both of you, as was the sex! Take a big step back and get to know this guy one step at a time.... (read in full...)
Is she being selfish and inconsiderate, or am I the jerk for feeling this way?
Q. My Gf of about 6 months is starting to get on my nerves..im so tired the relationship is like a full time job with no day off... i do whatever she ask from babysiting her young child to taking her to work and other places she needs to go.Movi...
A. 17 August 2012: Money is a big cause of arguments for couples. You are careful with your money and she is a liberal spender. This issue will not go away, no matter how much money your earn in the future. Why are you paying for everything anyway? Does she not work? ... (read in full...)
Why does he need a pin on his iPhone and why is it such a secret? What are your thoughts?
Q. Hi im just wondering what everybodys view are on their Partners phones? my bf and I have had a few up and downs over the last two years but recently there has been an issue since he got his iphone. Basically he has a pin block on it, which he say...
A. 16 August 2012: His behaviour is suspicious. The pin lock is to prevent strangers from accessing his phone, not you. I think he's hiding something otherwise he'd have absolutely no problem with you knowing the pin code. ... (read in full...)
Married for less than 1 year and Super UnHappy!!!!!
Q. Hi guys. Thanks for reading my post. So...I've been married for 11 and a half months..Sept 4th is our 1 year anniversary. We were high school sweethearts then went our separate ways during college..but we stayed friends. We both moved away from ...
A. 15 August 2012: Do you think it's your husband that's not right for you or married life in general? Life can be very boring and mundane when you work full time and spend your life with the same person day in day out. It would be great if we could party every day ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling uncomfortable with my boyfriend's reaction to what I wear.
Q. Hi guys So I'm feeling uncomfortable with my boyfriend's reaction to what I wear. I am a doctor and at work I wear scrubs. He came to see me at work the other day and then said he could see my bra (the strap was showing so I pulled my top back ...
A. 14 August 2012: Without actually seeing you it's hard to tell whether what you're wearing it's too revealing. Personally I don't like women showing cleavage as my eye gets drawn in. If your underwear is not visible and people can't see down your top, i don't see a ... (read in full...)
Can seeing someone too often break the relationship? Is this too often?
Q. I have a question, Its always been something I've wondered myself in the past and also when looking and the whole concept of a relationship in general. However recently I feel im loosing my best friend whos a male because he now has a girlfriend as ...
A. 13 August 2012: I love my girlfriend to bits and we love seeing each as often as we can. No number of times is too much when you're in love!... (read in full...)
I have been nothing but nice to her. What are the chances that she will start to like me sometime soon?
Q. There is this girl that I like who doesn't like me the same way back. (Classic, I know right?) I've been nothing but nice to her, and I try to smile and say hi when I see her. How much of a chance do I have of her feelings changing over the cour...
A. 13 August 2012: If she doesn't fancy you, being kind to her won't change that. Love isn't a formula. It's a complex and can't be fully explained. Sometimes an attraction is instant and other times it grows over time, but there's no way to make someone fall in love ... (read in full...)
How should I deal with online friend who proposed to me recently, but was uncomplimentary about my face? Should we break-up?
Q. My friend proposed me last week on friendship day. I'm 16 and he is 18. I accepted his proposal and we started dating. We know each other from 2-3 months. We had never met or talked before. I never showed him my pic before. I'm suffering from marf...
A. 13 August 2012: Are you saying you accepted a marriage proposal from someone you've never met? It takes a long time to get to know someone and you can only do that face-to-face. Chatting online or emailing is just not the same.... (read in full...)
My cheater boyfriend doesn't trust me even I never cheat..
Q. So..I have been dating with this guy for over one and a half year. He is 30s and I'm 20s. Age is not a problem for me as I love him and used to prefer mature guys. Basically he has quite a lot of affairs - around one every three months..anyways ...
A. 10 August 2012: Why are you with this idiot? Leave this loser so you're free to meet someone who'll treat you with love and respect.... (read in full...)
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