A
female
age
30-35,
*avesearcher
writes:Hello,My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. We have been going out for a year and a half and he's in the uk due to an injury and I am in Canada for Uni. I have summer break from uni for 3 weeks in august. I just came back from a visit before this semester started to the uk for the first time it was awesome. Stayed with his fam. Now I want to go over and surprise him and be able to stay with him for about over 2 weeks! He doesn't have a job and isn't going anywhere so I know he will be free while he is recovering from his knee injury.This is in August when it will happen. We talked about it and I can't stay with his fam because they are having visitors so I would have to find a place to stay? There are places I found for $20 a night which doesn't break the bank. Is this too big of a surprise?? I know it's crazy. And to keep a secret for 2 months as well and not tell him! How do I do this??Also, we have been on edge a bit and having a few arguments recently and I don't think anything will come of it... but my heart says book them don't worry! And my mind says "ARE YOU NUTS TO TRAVEL 7000KM to surprise him for WEEKS?!"Yes ? NO? I think it's so romantic but I don't want to make him upset by not preparing him.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (7 June 2013):
 I would plan the visit but I would NOT make it a surprise.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2013): The surprize part is the only bad part OP.
You're likely to have a few nasty surprizes yourself.
OP which would you prefer, him just showing up at your door unannounced, when you have work all week, maybe even have to take a trip for work etc. Or would you like some foreknowledge so you could take time off work, do a major clean out of your place, buy in a weeks worth of food for another person, arrange a load of fun activities to do so you can show them around, arrange some time for your friends well in advance to hang out and meet him, maybe have a family bbq so you can introduce him to everyone again etc.
OP I have a friend whose boyfriend did that, he turned up in one of her busiest weeks of work. Basically only barely got to see her in the evenings and then she was so exhausted by the weekend that she was yawning the whole way through the only time she could plan quality time with him. He basically spent more time with us than her. He's a lovely guy and he had fun with us, but the whole time you could clearly see how unhappy he was deep down because he wanted to be with her.
OP he'll be surprized enough if you tell him well in advance you've put the money together and can come over and see him. He'll be over the moon and then he'll have a long lasting excitement, something to look forward to and a fucking awesome week before you arrive busily preparing for your visit, booking restaurant tables, contacting friends to make sure they're free to hang with you etc.
OP the build up to seeing your loved one after so long, the shared excitement is far better than any surprize.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (7 June 2013):
 Best to tell him. Then he has something to look forward to and you can both spend time between now and then planning things to do which will be fun for you both.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (7 June 2013):
 I think it's a really sweet idea and a surprise sounds great in theory but has a lot of potential to go wrong. If you lived a couple of hours apart I'd say by all means, go ahead, but this is an expensive transatlantic journey you're talking about. Not everyone likes surprises and you don't know how he'd react. I know it's not the same but can't you tell him instead that you want to come over?
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A
female
reader, wavesearcher +, writes (7 June 2013):
wavesearcher is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi oldbag (hehe)
If I don't go I will only get to see him at Christmas (maybe).
He does have limited cash like you said. Last time I visited we just spent our days together which was lovely, and we also got to do a few activities.
If I didn't go I would plan maybe a few small fun things to do in my hometown and just wait for school to start again...
I know he would love to see me, I am just worried about the surprising part.. if that would be too much for someone to handle?? Especially since it's such a big distance. But I'd love to!
Thanks for your opinion :)
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (7 June 2013):
 Hi
Only you know the answer.
If you don't go when will you see him next?
If he isn't working and has injured his knee he has little cash and I assume little mobility so what will you do all day, especially as *you* won't be at his family home?
What would you do with yourself if you didn't go?
If you a sure he would love to see you then do it. It keeps the candle burning. Just be sure before you splash out all the money for flights etc
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2013): NO! Do not surprise him. He may have things planned with his family and friends. Two weeks is a long time and there are logistics like where you would stay, where you would eat, would he have to change any of his plans following your "surprise".Also, it may look as though you are trying to catch him out doing something he shouldn't and is slightly stalkerish and reeks of insecurity which men hate, I'm not suggesting that he may be doing something he shouldn't. But from a personal point of view I get ^^^^ed off if someone turns on my doorstep unnanounced for a cup of tea, let alone turns up to stay for two weeks.Let him know you would like to visit for two weeks. Do Not surprise him.
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