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... Send *omany a private message | | | *omany's profile:Hi, I'm Romany, 42 from the UK, I run my own business, from home, have 2 children, and 2 grandsons. Before I tell you why I love helping here on Dear Cupid, can I just say, this is not a dating site, I am not looking for a partner, So please do not contact me with personal details of yourself, or asking for mine, what is below is all I'm prepared to disclose. Thankyou, and sorry for that ickle rant.
I was asked what qualifies me to help people? nothing, just life lessons, and I've had alot, Pregnant at 17, Married for 13 years to childhood sweetheart who was in RAF at 8 month pregs, 2 kids by 19, cheated on 3 times, before I cheated back, with one guy for 18 months, then finally left him few years later, taking my children and running far far away, at aged 30, (for the safety of my children) We moved 8 times in as many months, cos he kept finding us.
Became bankrupt, coz I stopped working as my children got involved with unsavoury characters, they needed me and several hours of counselling, then just as things become enjoyable, my mum died.
A year later when my children were 18 and 17, and both had settled, and had become well rounded young adults. I had a mental breakdown, that was 7 years ago now, lost 8 months of my life, now I suffer with clinical depression, which I have pretty much controlled through medication, and agrophobia, which is also somewhat under control.
I have learnt to become compassionate despite the pit falls, sometimes too compassionate, but I've also learnt how to fight.
I was single for a few years after marriage breakup, and since then I've had a few long term relationships, been cheated on, and also cheated, been used, never been loose tho, and never had one night stands, Also was a mistress for 2.5 years(mainly cos of fear of attachment and committment, plus he was gorgeous and stirred things that have been dead in me for years) I regret being a mistress, and I feel guilty as hell toward his wife, we only ended because he started an affair with her best friend, and apparently this is the 3rd best friend he has done this with, but It was a blessing it ended, I wasn't really stable for relationship, I fell for him big time, but it taught me alot about heartbreak and healing.
Currently I'm single, but dating. I want the whole romance story, fall in love and live happily ever after, I wont settle for anyone though, and I dont believe that you have to fight tooth and nail to make a relationship work, if it works it works, if it dont, get out, you will survive. I also believe that if you think you've met your soul mate, but the other aint feeling it, then it aint right, move on, because I'm a big believer,that if its meant to be, it will be, fate will bring you back together someday.
I answer all questions, genuinely and sincerely, I really want to help you to find some resolution to your problems.
As for what makes me tick, my family, my friends, I surround myself with those I love, I'm quite content with my lot.
Oh, and In life I'm quiet, but on here I type alot, and use more words than neccessary. lol.
Romany. |
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My girlfriend's reason for breaking up doesn't make sense!
Q. My girlfriend recently dumped me but I can't seem to understand why. Her reason was that when she was with me she was happy but when she was not she was really down. This seems really strange and sounds like she is not giving me an honest reason why ...
A. 25 June 2010: Really sorry to hear this, not all women are like her, she is obviously self centred, and really very nasty, to not have the decency to put your mind at rest.
Good riddance to her, Your seem a good man, who is obviously intelligent and sens... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's reason for breaking up doesn't make sense!
Q. My girlfriend recently dumped me but I can't seem to understand why. Her reason was that when she was with me she was happy but when she was not she was really down. This seems really strange and sounds like she is not giving me an honest reason why ...
A. 22 June 2010: She has issues by the sound of it, I think she has realised that she is not ready for a relationship, so has broken it off so she can work on herself and her self esteem.
But that doesn't mean she dint like you, it just means she dont like hers... (read in full...)
How do I end this friendship without making him feel bad?
Q. This is just your typical *** hag/gay guy situation according to everyone else, which it probably is. So we took some time apart to distance ourselves, everyone felt our relationship was unhealthy, it wasn't like we couldn't function without each ...
A. 22 June 2010: I have loads of gay friends, the joke i'm their ***hag too, and all of them are pretty cut and dried friendships, but this has confused me,.......he's a virgin, but gay, his dream would be to wake up next to you naked, but you think having a thing ... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't want sex, but gave me a full on kiss ... why?
Q. Ok guys, this is a strange one really but need sum sort of advice, ive basically i hate 2 say it have got myself a fb, well i said used to have one, The other week once a week i pick him up from his local pub and we have a little chat and st...
A. 22 June 2010: Your picking him up from the pub! is he pissed? coz he may not know his head from his arse thru alcohol. I dont think he is playing you, or rather he isn't meaning to play you, I think maybe he wanted to put an end to your fook buddy friendsh... (read in full...)
Why do ex-wives always blame 'other women' for the dissolution/destruction of their marriage?!
Q. My boyfriend told me he was single when we first met. Then pretty soon I get a phone call from a woman claiming to be his wife! I confronted him- He said he didn't tell me he was married because they were already separated. He hasn't lived with her ...
A. 22 June 2010: oooh get you, You have definately put yourself on a pedestal on here, and it seems you haven't put any importance on her as being part of your b/f's life for 10 years. You have no sense of reality here, you've made this romance into a mills and boon ... (read in full...)
Am I being too fussy?
Q. I could never date a non vegan, it doesn't matter how nice they are I just never could! Am I being ridiculous? Also why do people resent vegitarians and vegans? I have a few ideas why but would just like to know what you guys think!...
A. 22 June 2010: I dont resent anyone, but i do think some (Most) of the veggies and vegans i've met think and act like they are superior to me.
Actually while your on here, I watched big brother tonight, and they were showing that weird bird sunshine, (thought... (read in full...)
Abortion or single mum?
Q. i found out i was pregnant 3 weeks after my boy friend and i broke up. but is decided to call him and let him know about the pregnancy and he told me to abort it.i dont feel like aborting this child and i dont want to be a single mum please help ...
A. 22 June 2010: Ok, big confession coming up.......I had an abortion 8 years ago, and I can swear that not a day has gone by that i've not thought about it, I had 3 teenagers at the time, one foster child, with loads of problems, and my own two, I'd been seperated ... (read in full...)
Should I learn to trust him again and will he ever change?
Q. My ex is always trying to meet girls online and has been since 2008 when he was deployed. I didn't learn of this until a month after we started dating, in late 2009. Throughout our whole relationship, he was always on online dating sites trying to ...
A. 22 June 2010: I would have to set him up, go online and make up a false name, arrange to meet, then go as yourself and confront him, hopefully seeing the slimeball meeting a stranger online will give you the gumption to kick him to the curb...maybe once he ... (read in full...)
When a guy calls you at three in the morning...?
Q. I like this guy and he's called me at three in the morning, twice. I tell him everything, and he knows that I like him, and he tells me everything too, but we're not best friends. When he calls, he doesn't talk about anything sexual, and we just ...
A. 21 June 2010: How old is this 'guy'?
... (read in full...)
She won't return the favor!
Q. So me and my girlfriend have been going out for a little while now, i finger here and go down sometimes every time we fool around and she says she likes it, but she has only returned the favor once out of numerous times ive done it to her. I try to ...
A. 19 June 2010: I figure you want a bj, and not a butt finger???
Some girls love it, some girls hate it, some do it coz they know the man loves it, some do it, coz they like having complete power of them, and they can pretty much get anything they want if you b... (read in full...)
The man I'm in love with is married!
Q. I work with a close friend who has fallen in love with me. He told other co-workers, who told me, but I pretend not to know. However, this man is married. He has only been married for two years and they have no children. I have known him this whole ...
A. 19 June 2010: So basically what your saying is, that he is miserable in his marriage, but he is willing to stay, coz he is afraid of being alone, but, if you would have him, then he'd leave........ so, If you tell him you love him, and he leaves his wife and ... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and have been accused of being a pedophile! What should I do?
Q. i am 19 and i was havin a threesome with 2 17 year old twins.their parents were supposed to be pickin up their brother at the airport but the flight got canceled so they came back to the house to find me havin sex with their daughters in the living ...
A. 19 June 2010: I dint realise you had to be 18 in the States, its 16 here in the UK.
I totally agree with Jmtmj, I dont believe your a paedo either, but i would have fed your balls to the dog if i'd caught you in my living room with my daughter.
I hope this all... (read in full...)
I need closure! Is it normal to feel this way?
Q. I had a really nice boyfriend but about 5 months into the relationship things started to screw up. We got in servral major fights over a period of months (about 3-4)all of which I was at fault for but other than that things continued on as normal. I ...
A. 19 June 2010: Your still in contact and demanding answers and he is trying to give you them, but getting confuffled coz he knows you've got a memory like an elephant and he is......well....a man and trying to not to give you the opportunity to analyse everything ... (read in full...)
Is he lying just so he can use me?
Q. I feel so stuck! My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago because he lives too far away, I have my hsc and he has uni. He says at first he wants to go on a break for the remaining 6 months of my hsc, we are so different, etc (yet he could ...
A. 19 June 2010: No babe, he drove 45 mins for some sexual gratification.
A client of mine had this with an ex, he finished her for same reason, but then would call her to come over and she'd go running, the one time she said no, he stopped calling and found an... (read in full...)
His ex is pregnant with his child, and trying to get him back!
Q. Well here's my situation people. I'll tell yous the hole story well it all started when i met this guy at a little get together with friends. Yeah we had some little to drink and me and my sister were talking about our kids. He over heard us talking ...
A. 19 June 2010: Think your getting this out of perspective,
she left him,
he met you,
your the bee's knee's to him,
he is gonna be a daddy, but can't love ex, coz he loves you.
Your fearing something that aint happened, and not likely to.
Reverse it, if ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps telling people he's single, even when I'm there!
Q. ok.. so i have a problem with my boyfriend. He's got a lot of "girl" freinds, but that part doesn't bother me. ( i have a few guy freinds myself)What does bother me is that when he meets someone new or someone he hasn't seen or talked to in a long ...
A. 19 June 2010: You can't change anyone, they need to do it, and if enjoys being the total asshole he is being, then he aint gonna change.
It would seriously piss me off that he likes to see how far he can go with these new girls, and also that his female frie... (read in full...)
Could this really be love?
Q. I was wondering is it really possible to fall in love with someone u never met in real life!!! I have been in a long distance relationship before. It all started when I was 13, I've met this guy on the AOL message boards and when started talkin to ...
A. 19 June 2010: Without looking into his eyes, who knows what sort of love it is, I've had several online friends, and a couple i've loved and cared about, but not in a physical way I met one, and when we saw each other, both of us were a little disappointed, as we ... (read in full...)
Is there any chance to save our relationship?
Q. My boyfriend has a lot of problems with himself, self esteem and just confidence. He is a very attractive guy though, with a very happy go lucky and out going personality. He gets lots of attention from other girls. Him and I are on a break right ...
A. 19 June 2010: At this moment, No, not a chance of saving it, he wants to meet up with this 'friend' on his trip and he is giving you the.......your too good for me....speech.
Maybe you are the type of girl he wants to settle down with, but he aint ready to sett... (read in full...)
What should I do for my boyfriend's birthday?
Q. Alright, so I've been dating this man for about five months, and currently it's an online relationship. We are planning to meet as soon as July rolls around, but that's besides the point. His birthday is coming up in about two weeks, he turns ...
A. 19 June 2010: IF you can't send anything, then find a song that expresses how his friendships has affected you, and send him the link thru an email, maybe with a poem that you've made up, even if its a pathetic poem, (mine always start with roses are red, violets ... (read in full...)
Is she trying to steal him from me?
Q. What do you make of this?...A few times when my b/f and I went to our favorite pub for a drink, there's this one gal at the pub who seems to be watching my b/f with "interest". At first I thought it was my imagination, but I noticed that if he went ...
A. 19 June 2010: Well..........if it were me, i'd wait till she goes to the toilet, then follow her in, and ask her what her interest is in my bloke, just because i'd really need to know that they dont share some seedy secret, or know each other more than he is ... (read in full...)
Should I be mad?
Q. My wife of 10 years was texting with her friend last week. Her friend was going to a party at the home of my wifes ex boyfriend. My wife and I are both white and her friend and ex are African American. She told me about the party but when I read ...
A. 19 June 2010: If you trusted her, you wouldn't have read her phone, and if you had, your first thoughts shouldn't be, oh my goodness she still wants her ex!!!!
Its not that different from any text i would write to a mate if she was going partying, I expect your... (read in full...)
Do I respect my girlfriend... Why do I think this way?
Q. [Mod Note: OP's own title] So my girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for about 6 months. WE love each other. We've introduced each other to our families and we're talking long term relationship stuff. HOwever, I don't know if I r...
A. 18 June 2010: Hi,
I just seen this, and I thought of you, it may help you realise that it is possible your negative thoughts are cutting your nose off to spite your face.
http://ww... (read in full...)
I'm confused, does he love me or not?
Q. hi peeps :) First of all Im 18 and Bisexual.. So there is this guy (hes 17) who I met in Facebook I added him because I was looking for a new friend around my area (we just moved in) and also I want to be more fluet in English. we meet up and i can ...
A. 18 June 2010: Sex is very different from love, and i'm sorry to say he doesn't love you, he was turned on by you, and you offered yourself, and he took advantage. It happens alot, not everyone lives happy ever after with the person who took there virginity.
S... (read in full...)
Is it normal for your period to be late after losing your virginity?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for almost 8 months now. I lost my virginity to him around June 1st, and we have had protected and unprotcted sex a few times since then, but he never came or pre ejaculated. My periods are always on ...
A. 17 June 2010: No, its not normal, your hyman being broken has nothing to do with your cycle.
Read this,
http://www.knowledgerush.com/kr/encyclopedia/Pre-ejaculate/
And then get yourself to the dr's or gyneacologist.... (read in full...)
His excuses don't add up, but I don't have the courage to leave him!
Q. I am 60 years old and married for 25 years. A relative saw my husband with a woman at theater. I found a motel receipt (paid by cash, not credit card) registered under his name. When asked, he said he saw homeless couples and let them stay in that ...
A. 17 June 2010: Its bound to be frightening, but if you have a good circle of friends and family around you, then being alone BUT happy is far better than being with someone who isn't making you happy.......However, you've not asked him about the woman at the ... (read in full...)
What should I write in my message to her???
Q. Hello Everybody, So about two weeks ago at my brother's prom in Mexico I met a girl and we hit it off really well. She is 22 years old, like me. As it turns out, she actually lives near Los Angeles (where I live), and visits there frequently...
A. 17 June 2010: I'm with Denise here, Bout giving her your number.
I like the upbeat approach, how are eyes treating you, as that shows your interested in how she has got on, and i think that you should definately add your number, telling her you'd like to get toge... (read in full...)
Do I respect my girlfriend... Why do I think this way?
Q. [Mod Note: OP's own title] So my girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for about 6 months. WE love each other. We've introduced each other to our families and we're talking long term relationship stuff. HOwever, I don't know if I r...
A. 17 June 2010: my goodness, you've made some right old mountains out of molehills aintcha.
1stly, thank god she has had some experience with guys, otherwise she'd not be able to see what is so special bout you, as you obviously dont know either, I think that your... (read in full...)
Involved with a married man and not sure what he wants, what should I do?
Q. i have been working with a married guy since late last year but hes always made it clear and obvious that hes attracted to me. we are very close in work as most of us are but,in feb he opened up to me that his marriage has major problems. just...
A. 17 June 2010: You are soooo over thinking this, its really quite simple, you are starting an affair with a married man, and being a mistress has never been easy, and that is what you are, he has pretty much said he can't/won't leave his wife, so you have to ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'd be taking advantage of this older man if we got together!
Q. I'm 18 and I'm in a bit of a predicament, recently the man I've been seeing has told me that he has never been in love and he thinks he loves me, he has low self confidence despite being very very sexy and part of the reason we hooked up was because ...
A. 16 June 2010: Got to agree with 'You Wish' on this, red flags everywhere, to get to 46 and never been in love, pah, cogs wallop.
As a 42 year old on the dating scene, i've met sooooo many men who spill the bullsh*t so fluently, infact I found this site thru a qu... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't chat to me!
Q. my fiance's friends bf lives in belgium and everyweek travels to the uk to meet his gf. last night in bed, my fiance said to me "would you do that for me", to which i replied "nah, its not worth it", and now shes not chatting to me. i apologised a...
A. 11 June 2010: haha, i done something similar once, after 2 days of him not speaking to me, told him i would do anything to prove to him that i was just being a twat, and said a stupid joke, and what could i do to make it up to him. He took me to the pub, but i ... (read in full...)
I'm really scared about going in to a gay/lesbian bar for the first time!
Q. ahhhhh im really scared!! ive recently come out as a lesbian to my two best friends. nobody else knows. my friends really want me to be happy and know that i really want a girlfriend so are being really supportive and taking me to a gay/lesbian cl...
A. 11 June 2010: I'm not gay, but have friends that are, i've been to loads of gay clubs with them, and some clubs are easier for pick ups than others, but no one is going to come up you and suck your face off, Its not that much different than straight clubs.
Y... (read in full...)
People tell me I should just get over him
Q. When I was younger I met someone in school. And I fell for him so hard. Even though I was only nine at the time I thought that he was the one for some reason. He was cute smart funny well mannered and I had that feeling inside me that I felt weak ...
A. 10 June 2010: This is the trouble when you put someone so high up on a pedestal, cos us human have a knack of falling off. I figure you've known him almost 10years, cos your age and when you knew him from, but your knowing of him in that time is very limited,... (read in full...)
Is it bad to leave my girlfriend for another woman?
Q. Is it that bad to leave my girlfriend for another woman? I've been with my current girlfriend for about 1 year, cohabitating for about 5 months. I had already been unsure as to whether I wanted to commit to her. A couple of months ago I cam...
A. 10 June 2010: I'm kinda agreeing with Liza here, I think you should tell her the truth bout your feelings, but not that you plan to start things off with this new/old girlfriend as soon as possible, infact, i think maybe you dont have to menton that you've had ... (read in full...)
I feel more comfortable dressing like a guy
Q. Hi. Um, I hope this question is appropriate for this kind of forum, but it's the only site I can really find that seems reliable. Anyway... I'm confused. I'm a 19 year old girl and consider myself as such. I have crushes on boys, though I've only...
A. 7 June 2010: Blimey oh riley, that is a big confusion to have when its based purely on your fashion sense.
When you say you dont act like a girl, is this a conscious decision? does acting like a girl subconsciously mean bad things in your head, or is it pure... (read in full...)
what age is to old when it comes to the matters of the heart?
Q. hello everyone.. okay for the year i have been talking to this guy. I am really feeling him. I am 22 and he is 41. Now my question is what age is to old when it comes to the matters of the heart? Also i told my close family about the new man in m...
A. 7 June 2010: I wouldn't want my daughter with a man almost double her age, and personally i find it quite sickening too, so i understand why your family aren't supportive.
However that said........
Not all people of his age are disgusting pervs trying to get i... (read in full...)
Was there anyway I could have found out what this guy was like before I slept with him?
Q. Hi all, Sorry this is so long, I'm 42, and the bloke that has torn my confidence to shreds is 44. I have been single for a year now, i decided to have a complete break off blokes, which was going great, But then i met one that made my tummy fl...
A. 7 June 2010: Thankyou all, your answers gave me some food for thought, and i've discovered that it wasn't actually him that gutted me, it was me, beating myself up in the all too common way we women tend to do, of course it cant be him being a total Arse, There ... (read in full...)
Old enough for a baby, but he's unemployed and we still live at our parents...
Q. ok heres the thing my partner is well broody for a child im 29 and hes 26 . weve been together for 3 years and both think we could do this have a child . hes not working at the moment but looking and im working . im worried and i know i shouldnt...
A. 7 June 2010: I think you'd be incredibly selfish to have a baby now.
Being Broody doesn't mean its the right time, you both only 'think' your ready, and neither of you have a place of your own, so 3 years living apart, is very different than living together... (read in full...)
I'm scared to have sex with my girlfriend
Q. Hey so I still have my foreskin on my penis, and my penis head the skin on it has been pealing off what is going on? I think it is this Lichen Scleroses. what do I do I'm scared to have sex with my girlfriend....
A. 3 June 2010: LICHEN SCLEROSUS:
White spots develop on the foreskin and end of the penis. These may itch and can be sore. In time, the changes to the affected skin may cause difficulty in retracting the foreskin and in passing urine. Erections may become pain... (read in full...)
Torn between love of a best friend, and concern for her child
Q. Hi, I have a best friend who I have known since we were kids, so about 16 years. I love her to pieces, and would be lost without her friendship. she is 21 and has a 4 year old child. she also has a boyfriend, lets call him Dave. Well her and Dave ...
A. 3 June 2010: I think you'd be betraying the little girl if you dint step in, she is obviously a smart cookie this little girl, and to see what she is seeing, and hearing, and not being taken care of, physically and mentally, is a form of abuse and the poor ... (read in full...)
I am worried that my boobs don't look normal!
Q. Hey everyone! :) Ok I'm a 17 year old girl and I'm very self conscious especially sonce I'm over weight! My boobs are kinda bigger compared to my friends and I know it's cuz I'm fat! But my nipples are really wierd! I don't know what its call...
A. 2 June 2010: Awww Bless ya, Calm down, boobs come in all shapes and sizes, areolae (the darker area surrounding your nipple) is the same, all different shapes and sizes.
My friend has small breasts, with dark brown areolae like dinner plates, and my boobs are ... (read in full...)
Torn between love of a best friend, and concern for her child
Q. Hi, I have a best friend who I have known since we were kids, so about 16 years. I love her to pieces, and would be lost without her friendship. she is 21 and has a 4 year old child. she also has a boyfriend, lets call him Dave. Well her and Dave ...
A. 2 June 2010: I am in total agreement with CaringGuy, but first i'd give her the sharp edge of my tongue, see if it gives her a kick up the bum, if it dont, i'd report her without hesitation, its obvious that your friend is going thru some mental crisis, and if ... (read in full...)
Why did I look in his phone!
Q. Last night I looked in my boyfriends cell phone! Big mistake I saw a txt message from a no name number which said "U Up". He did not reply. I asked him who is was from and he told me that it was a female that he was dealing with when we took a break ...
A. 2 June 2010: Sooo, you snooped at his phone, saw a no name number, no reply from him, and he was honest with you. Yet you aint speaking to him!?!??!? I dont think your the victim here, I think he is the one who has had his privacy invaded. Your out of order, ... (read in full...)
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